I'll have to leave, but you are still sleeping
There's nothing to say, our time has run out
You took me to bed, that's what you were seeking
But you don't even care what I am about
I wanna, I wanna wake you
Leave me alone,
I wanna go home
I don't wanna see you, so leave me alone
Leave me alone, 'cause I feel like dying
Leave me alone, I wanna go home
The day will still come when I see you you will get yours,
just leave me alone
But what if I stay and wait till she comes home
She don't even know, she loves you in vain
The lies that you told will turn into sorrow
I gotta go crazy just to stay sane
I wanna, I wanna break you
Leave me alone,
I wanna go home
I don't wanna see you, so leave me alone
Leave me alone, 'cause I feel like dying
Leave me alone, I wanna go home
The day will still come when I see you crying
Cause you will get yours, just leave me alone
I gotta, I gotta hate you
Leave me alone, I wanna go home
I don't wanna see you, so leave me alone
Leave me alone, 'cause I feel like dying
Leave me alone, I wanna go home
I couldn't care less if love just lies dying
And this is goodbye, just leave me alone
Bellatrix kicked at the flowers of Narcissa's Rose bed as she strolled out of the Malfoy grounds. She stopped only for a moment the red glow of the rising sun illuminating the fountains in the gardens; she turned back to the house, it still seemed to be sleeping. Not even a curtain twitched to say goodbye to the frequent night time visitor, who came and went with the darkness like a stray cat.
Lucius had laid in bed still slumbering on as she pulled her feet into her boots; she hadn't even been trying to be quiet. He may have just been faking sleep so as to not have to talk to her the morning after; he was never very good at post coital conversation. According to Narcissa he didn't even speak to her much after he had spent himself inside of her, but as a good little wife she could understand that. But Bellatrix, as a lover could not. Even Rodolphus who barely ever spoke a word in public babbled away to her in private about any rubbish that happened to be on his mind. So sometimes the silence with Lucius was a good thing... sometimes.
Bellatrix pulled her robes tighter round herself for the apparation back to her house and husband, once she was out of the grounds. She looked back one last time, she thought of Narcissa coming home after her weekend in Paris. She knew the sheets her and Lucius had soiled with would have been washed, her deep red lipstick would have been removed from both the wine glass and Lucius skin and there would once again be no trace of her ever having been at the manor and life there would carry on in all its crystallised perfection. Narcissa didn't know how lucky she was.
It wasn't till her body came back together she realised she had not made it home. She was about five feet away from where she had been standing...
It wasn't till the tears cleared from her eyes she realised she had made her way back to Lucius bedroom, and she was stood over him, she fought back that sting of salt water that burned her cheeks. She thought about it all, every kiss he had planted on her lips since they were children when he told her he loved her and only her. The way her heart had broken when he placed his family crest ring on Narcissa's finger. The day that they named their son Draco, a name that Bellatrix had been asked to select. Her wand was over Lucius chest that moved steadily with every intake of air, how could she answer for it? To the dark lord, to her sister and to herself. She placed the oak shaft back in its holster and wiped her eyes.
It was so hard to hate a man she had loved for so long.
She looked at his sleeping face, brushed back his hair, kissed his forehead that was creased for whatever dreams troubled his sleep and once again left the manor. Every time she walked that green mile through the garden she swore it would be the last time, that she would never again be won over by the charm or the smile of Lucius that those blue eyes would never again pull her into his bed with it soft pillows of sweetest lies. But she would; she always would he had a power her that even Voldemort couldn't break.
She made it home with that apparation. She collapsed on her own bed, next to Rodolphus, who even in the daze of sleep managed to wrap his arms around her like a snake. She felt his weight shifting into the land of the living as his breathing changed. Taking advantage of every moment his wife spent in their bed by waking up. There had never been any question that he loved her, when their wedding was announced he had been so happy he had smiled for days after their engagement party.
"The dark lord does keep you busy my love!" even if he suspected her infidelities he had never said anything to her about them, never questioned where she had been. He removed her cloak and boots to make her more comfortable and unlaced her corset, how he didn't smell Lucius all over her was a mystery. He magically removed what remained of any make up and tucked her into the soft blue blankets of their bed. He kissed her lightly on her now clean lips. She smiled weakly at him as she brushed his cheek and once again fought back tears.
It was too hard for him to mistrust someone he had loved for so long.