Logan was confused. No, that was wrong. Logan was beyond confused, he was lost and not finding his way back anytime soon. Kendall, his best friend who he has looked up to since he was five, just told him he was gay. This, however, is not what Logan found suprising or confusing for that matter. Everyone who knew Kendall, knew that the boy was on some level gay-this was just the first time he had ever said it out loud to anyone. But what confused Logan was what Kendall said next.
"I-I think I like you." Kendall had stuttered out, then turned away real fast when his cheeks started to turn a darker color. Logan's jaw dropped and he stared at the blonde as Kendall avoided the stunned gaze.
This was insane. No this was bizzare. Not three weeks ago did Logan come out to his friends and upon hearing this, James and Carlos smiled and said that they were gay, too. And now, Kendall had just come out to him AND told him that he liked him.
Dude! What the hell! Sure Logan was relieved when Carlos and james came out, too. Especially happy about Carlos, cause now Logan had the chance to make his move on his long time secret crush. But, never, in a million years, did Logan think he would be hearing his best friend, Kendall Knight, tell him he liked him.
It was no secret that Kendall batted for both teams, but now he was saying it was strictly for the one team and that was perfectly okay with Logan, it wasn't like he was a hypocrite or something. But, what wasn't perfectly okay with Logan, was that Kendall, apparently liked him. Sure he was flattered that someone like Kendall would like him, but Logan always pictured Kendall with someone taller and prettier, like James.
James. Shit. The night before James had come into Logan's room as he was studying and completly unloaded on Logan, telling him how he was totally and completly in love with the blonde leader. Logan, in response, smiled and said that he was happy for him and also put the taller at ease when he confessed his love for their short Latino friend. UGH!
Logan had no clue what to do, so instead of responding to Kendall's out-of-the-blue statement, Logan ran. He sprinted to the room he shared with Carlos and locked the door. He felt bad when he heard Kendall yelling his name and beggin him not to hate him.
"I don't hate you, Kendall. I could never hate you." Logan said softly, but loud enough for the blonde to hear him on the other side of the door, "I just-" he sighed heavily, "I need time to think right now."
He heard Kendall let out a breathe and a soft "Okay" was the reply as he heard Kendall's heavy footsteps walking away from his door.
Logan turned to face his room and picked up his Ipod from his desk, shoving the headphones into his ears before slinging himself on to his unmade bed and huffed into the fluffy pillows. He didn't know what to do. Sure, he loved Kendall, but like a brother, like he loved James, but certainly not like he loved Carlos.
Carlos was just...perfect. Logan sighed happily as he moved his head so he was facing Carlos' side of their shared bedroom. It was so neat and perfect. The bed was made and Logan was pretty sure he could bounce a quarter off of it if he really wanted to try. His papers and school things were stacked neatly on his desk and his movies and CDs were arranged in alphabetical order.
Logan couldn't help but smile. Carlos was a neat freak and one of the most supportive and sensitive people Logan has ever met. To anyone else, Carlos was a wild, rambunctious teenager who not only put himself in constant danger, but others as well. Now, James, Logan and Kendall already knew that, hence the hockey helmet they bought hinm for his 12th birthday that he very rarely takes off.
Sure Logan loved the wild side of Carlos, but what Logan really fell in love with was the side that only his closest friends were allowed to see. The quiet, shy, loving, caring side. For example, if anyone of them were to some how get injured, Carlos was the first one there, making sure they were okay and he never left ther side. Or if it was just the four of them hanging around in the apartment, Carlos would sit back quietly with Logan and watch amusingly as James and Kendall wrestled on the floor. And another thing about Carlos, was that he was actually really smart, but no one really ever gave him the benefit of the doubt-excepy Logan, of course.
Carlos was kind, soft, funny, caring and just...perfect. And Logan...wasn't. He huffed as he sat up in his bed cross-legged and stared at his reflection in the vanity mirror opposite his bed. What would Carlos see in him? He wasn't pretty like James. He wasn't adorable like Carlos. And he sure as hell wasn't a leader like Kendall. Kendall. What the hell did Kendall see in him anyway? Logan shook his head and scowled at his reflection, before flopping on to his back and staring at the ceiling. Whatever it was that Kendall saw, he hoped Carlos would see. That is if he ever go the courage to tell him how he felt.