So I recently found out about this song and I liked it so much that I wanted to Marauder-ify it!
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Duck Song" and Harry Potter.
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"Sirius, has James ever annoyed Remus?" Seventh year Lily asked Sirius one night in the Gryffindor common room. She was looking at James and Remus, who were pleasantly chatting with each other, with her quill in her hand. Sirius, who was sitting in another chair, turned his head to look at her.
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, usually you're the one bothering him all the time," she said twirling her quill. "So I wanted to know if James was the same."
"Of course he annoys Remus! He does it all the time! You're just not around to see it."
Sirius suddenly pulled the house's guitar playing musician over. Lily put down her quill and rolled her eyes. "What now?"
"I'm going to tell you a little story... IN SONG!" Lily raised her eyebrows.
The kid strummed several chord. "This story took place in the summer break last year." Sirius tapped his knee and began to sing.
:
Bum bum bum, badabadum,
James walked up to the chocolate bar stand
And he said to Remus, running the stand,
"Oi!" Bum bum bum. "Got any beans?"
Remus said "No we just sell chocolate bars
But it's warm and it's good and it's all from afar-s,
Can I get you a bit?"
James said, "Don't want it."
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Till the very next day
Bum bum bum bum bumbadum
When James walked up to the chocolate bar stand
And he said to Remus running the stand,
"Oi!" Bum bum bum. "Got any beans?"
Remus said "No, like I said yesterday,
I just sell chocolate bars, okay?
Why not give them a try?"
James said "Goodbye!"
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Till the very next day
Bum bum bum bum bumbadum
When James walked up to the chocolate bar stand
And he said to Remus running the stand,
"Oi!" Bum bum bum. "Got any beans?"
Remus said "Really, this is getting quite old,
Chocolate is all I've ever eaten and sold.
Wanna give it a go?"
James said "How 'bout, no."
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Till the very next day
Bum bum bum bum bumbadum
:
Sirius paused for a few seconds while Lily shook her head.
:
When James walked up to the chocolate bar stand
And he said to Remus running the stand,
"Oi!" Bum bum bum. "Got any beans?"
Remus said "THAT'S IT! If you don't stay away, James,
I'll hex you to a tree, I'm not playing games!
I know Kung-fu!"
James said "Adieu!"
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Till the very next day
Bum bum bum bum bumbadum
When James walked up to the chocolate bar stand
And he said to Remus running the stand,
"Oi!" Bum bum bum. "Got any wands?"
"What?"
"Got any wands?"
"No, why would I- oh."
"Then one more question for you:"
:
Another short pause.
:
"Got any beans?"
Bum bum bum, bum bum bum.
And Remus just stopped.
Then he started to smile.
He started to laugh.
He laughed for a while.
He said "Come on James, let's walk to the sweets store,
I'll buy you Bertie Botts Beans, so you won't have to ask anymore.
The boys walked to the store and Remus bought some beans.
He gave one to James and James said "Well, no thanks!
But do you know what sounds good?
It would make my day.
Do you think this store...
Do you think this store...
Do you think this store...
Has any chocolate bars?"
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger swagger
Then he swaggered away
Swagger swagger...
:
Sirius stopped and took a bow with the guitar dude.
"So yeah, he annoyed him. The end."
Lily was silent for a few seconds.
"Okay then," she said. "I'm off to bed." She walked up the stairs and into her dormitory, all the while thinking that that was the most annoying song she ever heard.
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This was fun! I might be doing more of these.