Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT or any of the characters in any of the TMNT comics or animated series. Not that anyone who actually owns the rights to TMNT would be reading this (they're probably too busy counting their vast piles of money) and be angry enough to sue, but a girl can dream, right?
Everybody Loves to Hate Harry
First of all I'd like to point out that none of this is my fault.
I'm just an average Joe trying to make a living. That's not an easy thing to do in this town, am I right? Especially for an ex-con. I mean, it's almost as if they don't want guys like me to go straight. So can you blame me for seizing a golden opportunity when it falls right into my lap?
I believe everybody gets one big break in life, and I was just looking for mine. Is that so wrong? All I ever wanted was a break. A break, and a bungalow on the beach in the Bahamas. And scantily clad native girls who keep me swimming in Pina Coladas. And a few million dollars. And maybe one of those monkeys that smoke cigars and wear funny hats.
But what do I get instead? I get shot at, beaten up, run over, thrown off a bridge, electrocuted, kidnapped by Martians…and don't even get me started on the killer rabbit! Haven't I suffered enough?
Judging from all the guns pointed at me, I'm guessing your answer is no.
Fine. Then at least let me tell you my side of the story. About how I ended up here with all of you. I'm sure once you know all the details you'll see that I'm just and innocent victim of circumstance.
And if you don't, at least make it quick.