Meant To Be
By: Mellaithwen
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst/Drama
Time frame: Takes place during the fight between Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader in 'Star Wars; A New Hope'
Disclaimer: Star Wars and anything affiliated with it, belong to George Lucas.
Further Disclaimer: This is written in Obi Wan's POV in ANH so I'm assuming for now that he doesn't knowthat certain things might happen or not in the further films.
Summary: Vignette. Obi Wan Kenobi as he fights his last battle between himself and his old Padawan, a fight that will lead him to his death. A chance to see an old friend from long ago once more.
Happy New Year everyone!
I hear Luke's cries and I long to comfort him. To give him some reassurance that I'm ready, that this is how it is meant to be, but I can't. I focus all of my attention on Vader. The evil thing that once saw me as a father figure. The monster that I once loved. The murderous villain I once called my Padawan, my son.
If I try I can still see you. See you as you once were. Anakin Skywalker. A boy with such potential, such power, such anger. If I try I can see your youthful features, before Palpatine came with his malicious corruption. Before he turned you. Before I lost you to the dark side of the Force...
Oh, Anakin...
I wish you could have seen what he was doing, Ani. I wish you knew what he was doing while you still had an ounce of good in you. I wish you could have seen that Palpatine was using you. Turning you against the Jedi Order for his own purposes. Using you as a pawn in his ruthless game of greed, and you let him.
I wasn't holding you back, and I hated it when you thought that. I didn't want to let you go too soon. I didn't want you to hate me for something else as well. I didn't want you to go out into the real world on your own if you weren't ready; I would never have forgiven myself had something happened. But something did happen. You turned. You changed.
I feel the betrayal my own Master felt when his Padawan before me, turned. Do you remember me telling you about him? Xanatos. And now you are no better.
I wanted to be there when you became a true Jedi Knight. To stand by your side. To have the honour of being given your Padawan braid. I never got to do that with my Master, and I so hoped you would not be denied it either.
I wonder, had the tables been turned and I had died at the hand of the Sith, would everything be different. Would you be standing there, only fighting Qui Gon? Or would you have been on the other side, fighting against the Empire?
Would you have been given the chance to see your wife mature beautifully, and watch your children grow? Would you even have married?
I wonder...
I block your attacks. Such grace you still possess with a lightsabre. But the red glow reminds me that you are no longer a Jedi. You are a Sith. The Emperor's little pet. Left, right. I block your saber, but for how long? Am I to fight you to the death? To your death? No, not yours; but mine. It is my time, I feel it.
I'd hoped you would be the one to do it. Better you than any of your minions. I'd much prefer to die by your hands personally, than a simple shot of a blaster from a storm trooper I don't even know.
I close my eyes. I'm ready.
A swift move on your behalf, and I'm gone. Dead. Free.
The red glare of your lightsabre is gone. And so are you. I'm not in the hanger. And I can barely hear the echo of Luke's scream anymore. I have done my part, and now finally my pain can leave me. Grievous wounds that no other can see can heal. My part in this is done. I have taught him all I can, it is up to the living now to do what they can.
I keep my eyes closed, for a little longer, for fear it's all been a lie and there is no force. Fear that my entire life was a dream and opening my eyes will wake me up. Fear, something a Jedi should not feel though there is no Jedi who can say truthfully he has never felt the emotion. Even in death, I am still a Jedi. I will obey the code.
I banish my fear, I open my eyes and I see it. The beautiful white bright light of the force in all of its powerful glory.
The light does not glare, nor does it hurt my eyes to look at it. I do not feel weary. I do not feel old. I feel young though I know I look the same and I feel whole, though I know much is still missing.
I feel it, and I see it and it fills me. It's great splendour fills my soul.
Every faded memory of my life now vivid in my mind as if I'm there. Memories of my childhood, of friends long gone. I look around and there they are. The dead. Jedi. Masters of old. Friends of old.
I greet them with a smile, not knowing what else to do. I dare not speak. They smile back and I know this is no dream, no illusion, this is real, as real as it can get. I see them, not as they died, but as they left. They are not in pain, they are at peace.
More smiles and they start to depart. I take a step forward, not sure whether I should break the bearable silences to beg them to stay.
They fall back and that's when I see him.
His stature proud. As tall as I remember him to be, if not taller. Clad in white, a colour that suits him. Surrounded in light. His long hair resting just past his shoulders. Tied back like it always was. His face unchanged since last I looked upon his kind features. Not marred by death. Not grimacing in pain. But smiling. His green eyes glowing.
I take a step forward, unable to prevent the tears stinging my eyes. I stand by his side and grasp his hand. No words are spoken. His eyes speak volumes to me, and I hope mine do the same for him. I stand side by side with my Master. As it was meant to be.
What can I say? I'm a sap for Obi Wan and Qui Gon
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