I'm What?
A typical day in Quahog, Peter Griffin thought as he paced merrily down the sidewalk, whistling as he 'worked' you might say. He hadn't yet noticed the man standing firm and silent ahead of him, his face hidden behind the pages of the daily paper. But when Peter bumped into him, they both noted each other quite well.
"Oh God! Oh my God, I am so sorry!" Peter exclaimed.
The man, generally polite by nature, chuckled warmly and said,
"That's alright."
"No but seriously," Peter went on, still feeling guilty, "I'm such a klutz!"
"Seriously, it's cool." the man insisted, smiling. He was a well dressed fellow boasting a nice suit and a fine haircut. But there was something about him that caught Peter's eye - his bizarre skin pigmentation. He was blotched with white patches.
"Say uh," Peter began, glancing him, "mind if I uh-"
"Oh it's alright." the man smiled. "I get that question a lot. You see, I have a condition that causes one's skin to turn white. Unfortunately I didn't have time to cover it up with makeup this morning."
"Oh God." Peter mused. "That's horrible! Turning white…that must be horrible!"
The man furrowed his brows, wondering if Peter meant for 'him' or being 'white' period.
"I'm really sorry that that's happening to ya." Peter went on. "Ya know, you're still an African American inside though…"
"Well," the man stammered, "I know that. I am proud of who I am."
"That's right! You be proud of who you are, because what really counts is what's inside!" Peter beamed.
They parted ways. Peter left the fellow a bit befuddled. He didn't know if Peter was being supportive or just weird. But he shrugged and carried about his way.
Not long after, Peter came storming through the front door, finding Lois planted on the sofa before the television.
"Peter?" she said.
"Lois!" Peter beamed. "You'll never believe this! I met this guy who has this weird condition that turns his skin white! Poor guy…must be horrible having white skin. I can only imagine the horror! The embarrassment!"
"Peter," Lois sighed, "you're white."
"WHAT!?" Peter demanded. He plunged into the bathroom then, racing to the mirror. When he saw the man in the reflection, he clutched his head and screamed the loudest, most petrified scream he had ever screamed in his entire life!
Fin.
A/N: Wow, truly this is so very simple compared to what I'm typically known to write...but anyway, someone I know was joking about this one day and, well, I couldn't resist sharing it. For some reason, it sounded like something 'retarded' you'd hear Peter say. Maybe some of you dislike the simplicity of this, but if you're interested, check out my other stories...oh, of course this is the only thing I've written for Family Guy.