Whoo! Mada-sama's back! Whoooooooooo! Whoooooo- *passes out* Oh yeah and HAPPY LATE EASTER! :D if you celebrated it, if you didn't...Happy chocolate eggs and marshmellow bunny day ^_^...Oh and Mortal Combate 2011 is fucking EPIC (the Australian kid that kicked my ass would agree, if the fucking network wasn't undergoing maintanance -4 days strait-, and there's nothing to do since it's 95 degrees with 100 percent humidity, hurray!)
Warnings: Foul language, weirdness, OOC-ness, Bad jokes, bad writing the typical Shnizit!
Thankies: Yuti-chan! C bcool444 (hiya!), QueenOfFanficworldlovegunner ( I should start doing this, QFFWLG but it looks like a word scramble) and Princess Zathura. If I had any talent I'd dedicate something to you, but it all sucks so.
Disclaimer: I don't own NARUTO, Masashi Kishimoto does! as well as TvTokyo. Support the official release, it will help Japan.
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In a forest full of Ewoks, a not so interesting but still so, event was taking place...No wait, wrong series, In a forest full of mutant animals, usually only seen in Sci-Fi horror fics (Armadillo with a dong) a not so interesting event was taking place.
Got this confused with Star wars for a second (Not the Prequels :/)
Iruka sighed loudly as he watched, Porno mustache and Nara guy leap off after Naruto. He thought he was weak, but really our little Kit is just stronger than ever. This is kind of like that time Gohan went off and trained with Dinosaurs.
Actually it's a lot like that.
Killer-Bee stepped through the waterfall, a hand over his head to try and protect his hair,"Aw fuck, he's gone already?," he cursed, not seeing Naruto anywhere in sight.
Inside his head, the eight tails was seething like a crazy old cat lady when somebody steps on her lawn,"I told you to watch him so he wouldn't run off! But no, no one ever listens to me, I'm just the giant elephant in the room nobody likes to mention or listen to," he roared.
'Elephant? Dude you're an Ox-opuss,' His host thought back.
Hachibi sweated,"Fine, I'm the giant Ox-opuss in the room, happy now?,"
'Yes,'
Back in one man land, Iruka was staring at the Jinchuuriki warily,"You're Killer-bee right?," his voice made the Cloud nin hum, taking that as a sign Iruka continued,"I need you to do something for me,"
"Depends what it is," The rhyming switch is on subtle today.
"Oooh, you are so predictable!," Killer-Bee's eye brow twitched, though his over-all expression remained stiff.
"Please, if you could...PLEASE! Protect Naruto!," Iruka bowed deeply to the rapper (Just had a flashback to 'Behind The Music' for some reason).
Killer-bee grunted as he crossed his arms,"We haven't done the whole cliche fist bump thing in a while," he muttered.
"Huh?," The chuunin straitened himself.
"Put your fist up dude!,"
Iruka blinked and raised his fist, tan-white guy gansta` style,"Uh, like this?,"
No like you got hairy palms (I don't know where that came from... starting to smell like oranges and Tangelos for some reason, hmm)
As their fists touched, Killer-Bee grunted, "Ah, my heart senses are tingling, you're him," A smile sprouted and grew.
"You already broke your promise and let Naruto run off, how can you accept this guys request?," Hachibi is the bitch of this chapter, we've had the Stock characters and the filler. It is our only option after all.
'If this guy couldn't stop him, than no one can,' The Jinchuuriki thought back, as he spoke, "You're the guy in Naruto's heart,"
Okay seriously, could that sound anymore rainbow-esk? not in a bad way but in a guy wearing a Speedo, standing on a street corner, screaming ''It's fucking hot out here!'' way. (Those guys do exist, most of them are strait though)
"Is that supposed to be a metaphor?," Iruka asked, eyeing Killer-Bee in suspicion, as the man threw an arm around the brunette's shoulders.
"Nah foo', you see," He then faded into a long explanation. (That is both lazy writing and a transition :D)
"Ah I see," Iruka nodded in understanding.
We cut away to Naruto in the forest,"Whatever you did for him, is still in his mind," Killer-Bee's voice echoed as he shoved iruka's letter into his mouth, probably to get that Fiber goodness, You know I hear paper takes the same tole on the body as two sofa sized Cinna'mon buns, the ink can't be that great either.
we cut back to a Iruka, who bowed as Killer-Bee flew away.
"You're seriously going to follow Naruto off the island?," Eight tails rose an eye ridge
'We are still technically training...Technically,' The cloud nin laughed shyly.
"You said technically twice," Hachibi narrowed his eyes,"The Raikage's going to tan your hide,"
'Like I always say, learn by doing foo'!,'
"You never say that!,"
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Castle of Old guys with no relevance is creaking like a wicker chair under a fat guy, only that scenario has twice as much ham and gravy involved.
"Got any Two's?," The fire Daimyo asked, as he and his fellow Feudal lords sat at a round table, each man holding a different number of blue playing cards.
"Go fish," The bird Daimyo laughed evilly. He did have two's, but he needed them, the Water Daimyo had like eight so it would even out in the end. For the water Lord anyway -he quirked an eyebrow- Wait.
"Damnit," Fire daimyo cursed drawing a card from the deck in the center of the table.
Outside the castle, Zetsu was leaping into action for a second time, "Found 'em!," he yelled in joy, right before the Mizukage appeared and booted him in the chest with her stiletto.
"Hiya!," Mei exclaimed.
Poor Black Zetsu went flying back into the stone wall that surrounded the mansion, he landed with a sickening crack and a moan,"Ouch,"
"Hold it there, Akatsuki scum!," the red head ordered with a confident smirk as she landed, several ninja followed her lead and dropped down behind her.
"This isn't going to turn out well for me. is it?," The plant man muttered, rubbing his aching jaw.
Kishimoto says no.
From outside they could hear the Go fish tournament continuing,"Fire, do you have any five's?," the Wind Daimyo's voice echoed.
Said Fire daimyo stuck his head out the window and looked down at Zetsu with a pleading expression,"If you're going to kill us can you please start with them?,"
HQ!...CHICKEN!
Raikage twitched furiously at the Hokage,"Good job, Tsunade, your plan failed and now he's heading out to the battlefield," he shouted.
"I still have my back up!," Tsunade roared, slamming her hands down on the table,"Is the barrier ready?," Mabui (It's a miracle!) looked away from her glare.
"Yes ma'am, the 36 layer, self repairing barrier has been set up around the entire area. Let's just hope Bee doesn't join him," she said. She will live to regret those words.
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On some part of the spiky island was the barrier quick response team (Now with twenty percent quicker ninja :D), they were all in position, standing behind...It's a dude with a mustache.
What is it with Kishi and Mustaches?
"It's time for our barrier team to do its job!," The leader of the team yelled, his glorious facial hair blowing in the breeze,"We've shed blood, sweat and tears to create this marvelous barrier! No matter what happens, Do not let him through!,"
The others cheered and prepared for Naruto, who was quickly approaching.
"The transmission back to HQ will be mission accomplished!,"
The team cheered again.
"Where 'bout to turn this shit into Inuyasha!," A granny curl ninja smirked.
Resemblance.
And with all that hippe, Naruto must have put up quite the struggle right? He must have bounced off the barrier thinking it was nothing and slammed into a spike right? WRONG! Instead a giant black orb of power zoomed by, smacked the barrier causing it to crack and The Sannin, Kyuubi, fox chibi with firefly powers simply fell back and landed on some cliff.
Where did the black energy come from you may ask? (Well you didn't, but i did)
"BEE!," Naruto exclaimed happily as smoke puffed out of the giant Ox beast -who appeared out of NO WHERE-'s mouth.
What did you expect something fair? this Naruto, damnit! nothing is ever fair, only exciting.
"Uh oh," Mustache man felt a chill go down his spine, this was not good.
As the ground crew where crapping their pants in fear, cause that's what you do when you see extrodinarily large monsters, Naruto went Six paths mode again (I know he has lots of chakra now but...How is he not dead yet?) "I'll break the barrier, foo'! You push my tailed beast bomb through!," Ox-Bee and his spiky haired student-ish-person flew towards the barrier.
"EAGLE!," Naruto pushed the giant black orb that Bee burped up through the already damaged barrier.
The squad of identical sextuplets were losing their curly haired minds,"We can't repair the barriers fast enough!," one of them yelled.
Maybe next time they'll spring for a quick self rebuilding barrier, face it Dial up is shit, the Wifi is worth it (Unless you have a life)
"There is no choice," Goat man said as his pride shattered,"Mission FAILED!,"
The ninja behind him sweated (The real expression is un-describable, well somebody could, but only if you give them lots of pcp first)
Above them, Naruto and Killer-bee made it through the barrier,"FREEDOM BITCHES!," The blond yelled as they ran away.
This is why you need an ominous demonic aura around your barrier, it took Dog-boy over four-hundred chapters to get through Naraku's ( or was it three-hundred?)
Mustache guy dropped to his knees and cried,"No fair, they teamed up, nobody said they could do that," he sniffed.
We then follow our young hero and the rap master to a place that looks familiar, what with the numerous spikes sticking out of every nook, cranny and everything in between. Then again I'm sure every square inch of this island looks the same (Just like Texas, dirt, spiky shrub, lizard, dirt, spiky shrub, the Bush family, lizard)
"Wow, looks like we've landed on Yugi Moto's scalp," Naruto commented.
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The battle still hadn't started on Zatsu's end, as they stood staring at each other (My dog farted), grunting like pigs in a muddy field.
"Hmm,"
"un,"
"Hn,"
"Go fish," Wind Daimyo smirked.
"Die!," Fire daimyo yelled, throwing his cards on floor.
Suddenly, Zetsu's plant sense tickled him, right in the ribs, metaphorically of course. That's where his Mizukage battle bruise is!
"Huh, seems like the eight and nine tails have finally stepped out onto the battlefield," he rasped, his foot growing roots (that's actually cool) and burrowing down into the ground.
That moment is short lived, as we cut to White Zetsu, Yes apparently when Black Zetsu goes all Poison Ivy he spawns a white Zetsu. Either that or the two halves contacted each other, but the former sounds more fun.
Which ever way it went down, we get to see White Zetsu melting out of the ground anyway, "Madara, it's time," he said to the Masked man sitting all cool like on the floor.
Normally the fangirl within the authoress would be going berserk (It is right now), such as throwing chairs and screaming in joy, but she couldn't help but wonder why the ever powerful uchiha was on the ground and not sitting in a chair. What he can make masks and an army of millions of Zetsu` but he can't carry a Zabuton down there?
Oh yeah back to uh, White Zetsu who is now talking, surprise, surprise,"Do we still need to capture the Daimyo?," he asked.
"That will not be necessary, I wanted them to lure out the Nine tails, nothing more," Madara answered with a small shake of his head.
Is there something on the roof or is he sitting on the wall? That might explain the lack of cushion, gravity is a brutal bitch sometimes.
"Aw but black Zetsu's about to fight the Mizukage! I really wanted to watch," Plant men whine, wow who knew!
Our funky Uchiha stood up,"The Guerrilla tacts are still useful, tell Black Zetsu to try and capture the Mizukage and her troupe, it will be helpful if we can keep the forces split up,"
White zetsu nodded, beginning to faze back into the ground,"Right, but what about you Tobi?,"
Quit calling him Tobi, the small brained fans don't understand why you're doing it and just keep popping out theories! (There's a new one, apparently he's the sage of 6 paths in the body of an Uzumaki or Madara in the body of an Uzumaki, basically we just want an Uzumaki to be worth something more than what we've been told they're worth, which is Worm bait)
"I'm heading out, it's time I joined the battle," Madara said, coming to a stop,"But first," He looked at the sealing statue,"I need a substitute,"
For what, exactly?
Hurray for Foreshadowing!
This island makes kittens seem morbid, getting kind of sick of seeing it. There are new things to be seen though.
Like the TenTen who lay sprawled on the ground after the Magical golden Feather duster zapped her chakra,"Ugh, maybe that wasn't such a good idea," she groaned.
"No shit," The Medic nin healing her deadpanned.
Or Kitsuchi who stood on top of a pile of dead Zetsu clones,"Got the last one," he dropped the one he was holding.
You mean to tell me that such a small useless group took out almost 50,000 Zetsu' clones? That's so Kishi.
"Thanks Chouji!," The white haired cloud ninja praised the giant teen, completely ignoring the random man standing on his hand.
"This is so not over," Kakuzu said as he was pinned down by Chouji's massive fist.
Darui smirked,"Such big talk for someone caught under our thumb," Literally.
Unknown to these ninja, Madara had shown up in a-He doesn't swirl anymore does he? Though let's be honest he could've walked onto the battlefield wearing an ''I'm The Antagonist Kill Me If You Can'' T-shirt and no one would be any wiser. These ninja's suck.
"summoning technique," The Uchiha whispered.
This was apparently a very loud whisper though because a white haired stock ninja, turned around to see him standing there,"Oh no!," he exclaimed.
The magic words have been spoken! And now giant stone statue of 'Fuck' and stone and being very large appeared and towered over its summoner.
Yeah that's awesome, no other words can describe it, it's just awesome. But would it kill the Statue to put some pants on?
End
my dad is going in for foot surgery this week so, wish him luck! Naturally that'll mean no parody next week but i will upload a oneshot for you guys! Mada/Kon-Yahi/kon scented :3 you guys like those pairings right?
Thank you for reading! Please review, favorite and all that good stuff! Bye!.