Game Over

by MaveriKat

In a world where videogame productions are more of an emphasis on production and the stars are very real people, how do they handle life in the limelight? In general? Or more importantly, the rise and fall of popularity? Two foxes on either end of the spectrum will meet and find out from one another. Rated M for Drug Abuse, Violence, Adult Language, and Adult Situations.

1. Fox Trot

Disclaimer: The "Star Fox" videogame series is owned by Nintendo and Platinum Games. The "Sly Cooper" videogame series is owned by Sony, Sucker-Punch Productions, and Sanzaru Games. There are also many other videogame properties but rest assured, I credit their creators and developers for the wonderful IP's that inspired this story. Said story itself is a fan-based non-profit work of fiction written strictly for entertainment purposes only. Please support the official releases.

Game Over

By MaveriKat

Beta Read By Ego Dominus & Innortal

Chapter 1: Fox Trot

As the last vestiges of sleep left the woman, she blinked her eyes slowly. Her right hand reached out to her side before the palm slapped down on the alarm clock that had been buzzing, silencing the annoying thing. Turning her head the other way, she glanced at the mirror atop her dresser. Pushing off the covers of her bed, the nude woman forced herself into a sitting position, before turning about on her rump and kicking her legs over the side of the bed and gazed at it, taking stock of what she saw.

Sure, she was a bit taller than the other vulpines she had seen around. Of course, most of them were still sporting their original designs, so that might be the reason. Sanzaru games had really given her quite the make-over when Sony allowed the company to take over for Sucker-Punch who seemed to be putting all their efforts into the, 'Infamous' series rather than continue to give hers the time of day. The so-called experiment became their preferred cash-cow over the raccoon and company who put their names on the map.

Still, even with the cosmetic changes she had to go under with the new producers, the vixen wasn't upset. Her form was still sleek, muscles trained but not so overly focused upon that her femininity was lost. And while one couldn't see her abs under her fur, a person could still tell they were there and not covered in a layer of fat... unlike some of her colleagues, who seemed to balloon one waist size for every year off the gaming field.

"Ugh... hopefully I can stay in fighting trim..." the blue-tressed woman groaned as she brought her right hand to her face, her thumb and index finger rubbing her eyes just at the bridge of her muzzle. It was another day. Hopefully she'd get a callback from Sony. Sure, the royalties she got from the Sly Cooper Collection were still trickling in but they were barely covering living expenses. It also didn't help that the furry woman was coming upon three years since the last videogame she starred in...

Of course, the movie that was supposed to be out this year could have been a major shot in the arm for her bank account... but Sony hadn't even finalized a script let alone started filming yet. Hell, they barely got the production schedule for the Ratchet and Clank motion picture up and running! She'd be lucky to show off the full potential of her acting chops in another two or three years at BEST!

There was no denying it. Money was starting to become tight and it would just become more difficult to get jobs the longer she, Carmelita Montoya Fox, was out of the spotlight. She found it to be a frustrating situation to be stuck in. Yes, Sly was working hard to keep their property solvent by making appearances in various side-games, such as Playstation Move Heroes and Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale... but there hadn't been much call if any for the rest of them; she, Murray, and Bentley managed a small background or FMV cameo each in either of those games and that was it.

Lowering her head, the vixen exhaled deeply. Her brown eyes now wide open and her mind awake and alert, the Latina game actress pushed herself off the bed. Reaching her arms out to her sides and bending back slightly, the furry woman stretched, trying to work the kinks out of her back that came from sleep. "First a shower..." she mumbled before yawning. After all, once she was cleaned and dressed, she could go about her day. Perhaps it was best if she made some calls herself rather than wait? She didn't want to seem desperate but she wanted to make sure Sony still knew she WAS available.

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A male fox stood in his enclosed shower stall, his right hand turning the handle to the right to shut off the water flow. He began shaking as best he could to work out the excess water from his fur; liquid gleaming as it trickled down metallic legs. Once he felt that he was dry enough, the man pushed the glass door open and reached around, grasping the towel that was folded over the exterior bar handle. Wrapping the towel around himself and rubbing down to finish drying off, the male vulpine stepped out of the shower, placing a metal foot firmly onto a custom bathmat that had the red winged fox logo of his Star Fox game series.

Continuing to caress his body with the viridian towel, the man exhaled deeply. A nice steaming shower always did the trick to clear his head in the morning. It was a shame that he was so lethargic as of late. Not that I don't know why, he thought a bit somberly.

Despite the promises of things finally turning around for him, what with yet another successful go in the Smash Bros. series and a new game finally coming out which was to be a return to his classic roots... life hadn't treated one Fox McCloud all that well the past decade. His last outing hadn't been all that well received. Sure, it had wowed the critics and it had been a solid success financially... but the fan-base had been rather vocal about how very, VERY unhappy they were! Both with how the game's control-scheme went as well as the story...

Oh the story...

There was no helping it. Ever since her introduction into the series with the Star Fox Adventures game, Krystal had been openly DISLIKED by Nintendo! The videogame company had been doing everything within their power to push her away from the forefront of the games. He had managed to keep her on as long as he could but even the blue vixen was starting to get annoyed with and dejected by how they treated her. Fox told her he not to worry, that he would push to get her into more projects, and even promised that his boss, Nintendo CEO Iwata would help get her the attention she deserved. All the vixen needed was a solid shot at establishing herself to get her right up into prominence with the classic quartet of his series.

The male vulpine knew she had it in her to succeed. For God's sake! The big-wig shareholders at the Big N hadn't canned that idiot Slippy Toad even after his abysmal beginnings and continued lackluster acting ability after all this time! There was no reason they should have been against the lovely lady who COULD act just because another company–Rare–had introduced her and bringing her in hadn't been Nintendo's call to make. He had seen the fan voting polls too; he knew how popular Krystal was, particularly with the Western fan-base. Couldn't they have just accepted her international appeal rather than continue to work towards purely Japanese aesthetics? All they had to do was give her a chance and she would have made good on it!

She had stayed with him for five years, hoping against hope that things COULD turn around... but it became obvious to her, to both of them as time went on. As long as the blue vixen maintained a presence around Fox, Nintendo was going to let his franchise fall to the wayside, despite how much money it made them. Rather than have his livelihood ruined because he loved her... she left him. The blue vixen packed up and split to save his career.

The last time he'd seen Krystal, he had just returned home from a meeting with Iwata and Shigeru, having been pitching an idea for a series of Star Fox cameos to appear in Mario Kart... only to discover the Cerinian loading the back of a Shin-Ra MotorMobiles SA-37 pickup truck with her boxed-up belongings. The woman had intended to leave before he had returned but had obviously overestimated just how much interest two of the biggest names at the company would give his presentation of why an Arwing Karts Mode would be a unique and fun feature.

The blue beauty had hugged him tight, kissing him on the cheek as she wished him the best... wishing him the better life he deserved and was sure to have with her out of the picture.

It had been sometime around midnight when a policeman snapped him out of his daze by shaking his shoulder. Apparently the neighbors had seen him standing on his lawn and unmoving for hours to the point where they'd become worried and called it in to make sure he was still all right.

And there he was... living his worst nightmare. It was like the ending of his last game came true. He'd lost out on the only woman he ever loved because know-nothing know-it-all stockholders and ethnocentric busybodies at Nintendo wouldn't let them be together.

Fox lived a personal hell for another five years after that. The Papetoonian vulpine would meet up with his friends now and then once word got out that Krystal left him... even a few of his fellows he'd gotten to know–even if just barely in a few cases–during his work on Smash Bros. had stopped by to make sure he was all right and not JUST falling down into an alcoholic spiral. Hell, Princess Peach even baked him a cake! And she didn't bake cake for just anyone!

The choice of rum raisin with extra rum for his cake had been very appreciated once he found out what Krystal had been up to without him there to guide and protect her. The woman ended up doing a lot of privately-funded productions in art, short movies, and even games!

All of it porn.

He'd failed the woman he loved. She'd fallen onto bad times and hard, leaving the blue vixen with the only thing she had left of any worth to sell so she could get by: her body

There was NO stopping the Papetoonian vulpine's downward spiral into alcoholism then... a spiral that went on for years, until it finally ended on July 11, 2015.

Satoru Iwata, President and CEO of Nintendo... his father... died.

Only THEN did the company finally pay attention to Fox and saw what he'd become, what THEY had done to him. Only when everything was said and done did the Nintendo executives actually get off their asses to do anything to help the ailing vulpine pilot. Whether it was out of guilt or repaying a debt they owed to the man who helped the company remain solvent during their hardest years, the reps at Nintendo finally got ahold of him. They cleaned up his act once more, got another Smash game going and made sure to include him from the onset to get his face out there again... and finally... FINALLY... they gave him another shot at staring in another game for his franchise: Star Fox Zero.

And Krystal wouldn't be there with him to see the series' new direction through. He should have stood his ground, demanded that SOMEONE get ahold of her, find her and offer her a chance to return and join him in what would have been the rebirth of their videogame property.

He hadn't. Fox had been too buzzed out of his mind at the time to care, coming down from a bad addiction. It was only afterwards when he was truly sober once more did he see the situation for what it was. He'd failed to do right by the Cerinian vixen.

Again.

"Look at you. You're a goddamn monster..." Fox murmured as he looked at his reflection. Standing there with the green towel now wrapped around his waist, the male vulpine just stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. From what he saw, it was obvious Fox McCloud was a man who worked hard to stay in shape even with his long-term bout of alcoholism and depression. Despite his penchant for shabby clothes and the often tired look upon his face, not a single ounce of unnecessary fat could be seen upon his frame. If one could look below his fur–and even then, it wasn't always necessary–they could make out the defined abs and pecs. Despite having mechanical legs, everything from the thighs up was a furry Adonis!

He really did have the makings for and HAD been a successful franchise mascot.

So why did he feel like such a fucking failure?

"Hopefully..." he whispered to himself. "Hopefully this night out with the guys will help." With the oncoming launch of his new game a few of his friends wanted to get together to celebrate. Not his co-workers, oh hell no! Outside of Peppy Hare, he'd rather drink himself into oblivion than have to deal with the incessant whining of that perpetual fuck-up Slippy or the unbearable egotism of that asshole Falco. Instead, tonight would be a chance to toast the end of an old era and the beginning of a new chapter of his life.

"I just hope I'm not making a mistake."

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"This has to be a mistake," Carmelita hissed as she cradled her cell phone between her right shoulder and the side of her face; both hands busy preparing her breakfast as she cooked it on the stovetop. She'd been happy that someone had responded to the message she'd left so soon, but what they had to tell her wasn't all that welcome. "What do you mean Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale 2 was cancelled? I was told it did well! Damn it, Shawn! Did it or did it NOT sell over a million copies!?"

The male voice on the other end of the line explained, "Miss Fox, I understand your shock. To answer your question, yes, we did sell over a million units of the game but the reviews ranged from merely average to only generally favorable. Sure, critics praised the game's multiplayer and fighting mechanics, but everyone criticized its lack of content. The fans wanted more than we had anticipated would have sated them and they were very vocal about it."

"All the more reason to put effort into the next one," she snapped as she used a spatula in her right hand to stir up the eggs in the frying pan, scrambling them. "People want a deeper experience than just a quick outing of mindlessly fighting each other as power-ups and weapons randomly fall from the sky! I mean, look at the Smash Bros. series you guys were copying from! They put in a load of time and effort into each successful follow-up. It's not like there's no precedent of going the extra mile to give people more bang for their buck!"

The voice sighed. "You obviously don't get what I'm telling you, Miss Fox so allow me to be blunt. We only intended to franchise the game if we could get a considerable return for as minimal an investment as possible. The project was nothing but a quick-and-dirty cash-in playing on the numerous fan-bases it would touch upon. Sadly, it didn't bring Sony the kind of numbers we expected. Shoot, even the summer 2013 cross-promotion with Coke Zero didn't bring in the green like we had been hoping for." The voice on the end paused for a moment, allowing the woman to register what he was telling her.

The vulpine woman blinked her eyes once, twice, thrice. "So all those promises about giving me a spot in the sequel... were just talk?" She turned off the stove quickly, slapping her spatula down on the counter next to it before moving the frying pan onto the currently unused and cold side of the stovetop. Now grasping the phone in both her hands, the blue-tressed vixen glared at her cell phone. "Is that what you're telling me, Mr. Layden? That you were just blowing smoke in my face!?"

There was silence for a moment before the man finally continued. "Well... yeah! Kinda..." he paused for a moment to consider his words as he heard the vulpine woman gritting her teeth. "What I mean to say is, we fully intended to follow through if it turned out we could score major returns with the smallest bit of investment necessary but since we didn't... well, that's just how business goes, Miss Fox. We're just not willing to put forth the effort fans and critics demand in this regard; we only needed a quick shot of capitol to increase our stock worth for that quarter. But don't worry about that, I do have some good news for you!" the voice chirruped excitedly. "While I admit that it's been delayed and we won't meet our 2016 window, I promise you, as the CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment America, that a Sly Cooper movie IS coming and we will also hire you on to also help us make the accompanying game for it!"

Relief immediately washed over the vulpine woman at hearing that. They were really planning a double-whammy like that? "Really?" the Latina vixen inquired. "Well, that is a relief. I'm certain I can make the best of my last year of residual payments if I use my savings wisely. I mean, it's only a little while longer before we get to filming... right?"

"Yep! We'll have it ready to roll in 2022 with the release of the Playstation Five!"

And just like that, the easing tension the Hispanic beauty was feeling immediately evaporated into nothing, replaced once more immense agitation. "...What?" the vixen hissed. "You want me to sit on my hands for another six-plus years!?" she shouted. "Damn it, Layden! Can't you do anything about this hold up? I mean, are you or are you NOT the President of the SCEA!?"

To that, Shawn replied, "I am, Miss Fox... but I'm also MERELY the Executive Vice-President of Sony Network Entertainment International. I can force games through if need be when push comes to shove but when it comes to general formats of entertainment, such as movies? My hands are tied. Andrew House is in charge of that branch of Sony and his focus is on Ratchet and Clank more so than Sly Cooper. The only power I have in such regards is casting the tie-breaking votes between CEO House and the Board of Directors."

Groaning, the vixen brought her right hand to her face, rubbing it in aggravation. "Fuck me sideways," she cursed. "Can you at least tell me there's a chance I can get into any other games in the meantime? Any sort of cameo, even if you're only paying me fifty coins just to stand in some background?"

The clacking sound of a computer keyboard was heard. "Mmmhmm... mmmhmm... nope!" the President of Sony's American branch spouted. "I just did a cross-reference check. There's absolutely nothing in the pipeline for cross-promotional gaming right now, let alone anything associated with the Sly Cooper brand. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news Miss Fox, but unless you can get Sony President Shuhei Yoshida involved, it looks like you're going to miss out on the Playstation Four entirely. I'm very sorry about that; you have my deepest sympathies."

"..." truly, the videogame starlet had nothing to say to that. And here she thought the Japanese loved their furry crap. Not one of them had the desire for another Sly game? They actually had no inkling whatsoever to push any of their international offices to pick up the pace after they took the production rights for the Sly Cooper series away from Sanzaru?

Dear God in heaven. This was it, wasn't it? They were cutting her loose; cutting them all loose. Those bastards in Sony's upper-hierarchy were just going to keep pushing the Sly Cooper projects back further and further, letting them languish into obscurity so they could eventually have an excuse to cancel them outright and move on to the current hot trends.

The fuckers were, 'Crash Bandicooting' her!

"So... can I still take you up on that offer to fuck you sideways?"

"..."

"I mean, were you being serious or was it just an expression?" the man insisted on an answer.

Carmelita shut the phone off, ending the call with Mr. Layden as she just stared out into nothing, her eyes wide and unfocused. Breakfast forgotten, the gears in the vixen's head were spinning a mile a minute. She had to do something, anything. If she sat on this and continued depending on her bosses for help, her bank account was going to be emptier than an Atari Jaguar Convention. Then she'd be out on the streets like former gaming greats Q-Bert and Master Higgins...

And suddenly, her spirit began to burn. Fuck that. Fuck THEM! If Sony wasn't going to do anything with her, she'd find other options! There WERE options. Sly Cooper was far from the first group Sony screwed over. There were so many who bent over backwards to make the first Playstation a success who never got their proper due afterwards and yet they were still making the best of things. Shoot, if some of those stories she saw on the, 'Where Are They Now?' specials were true then she could come back in twenty years or even create a whole new niche. Take Spyro for example! The purple dragon's platformer days may have been over but he was the King of Collectible Videogame Toys with his Skylanders series! And there was Lara Croft, who, even after a huge stumbling block that was the, 'Angel of Darkness' game had managed to stay relevant and was even one of the most popular stars and biggest earners at the moment thanks to her two latest game entries. Despite all the mistakes in her career, everyone still loved her and wanted more, even after Sony kept trying to axe her with two three-year hiatuses and then a half decade one... which was probably why Lara's second-to-last release went multi-console release before she jumped ship entirely to work for Microsoft outright.

"Yeah... Lara Croft..." Carmelita murmured. "If anyone can help me, it'll be her." She smiled a bit more as the situation didn't feel so hopeless. Despite the two of them being different species, they weren't too dissimilar. If anyone knew what the vixen could do with herself after this blow from Sony, it would be the Tomb Raider herself. "We're both athletic, gun-slingers and we've done our fair share of jumping around exotic locales... she must know something!"

Who knew? Maybe she could get her own game brand started. "Carmelita Montoya Fox: Law and Justice..." she murmured as she looked through her cell's call history. The female vulpine remembered that they talked at one point this year as Lara was inquiring to HER of all people as to why she wasn't invited to the Battle Royale. Back then, the vulpine woman didn't have an answer. Now though? Things made way too much sense concerning Sony's practices.

She smiled as she found Miss Croft's name towards the bottom of the list, thankful she was JUST within the window of her cell's phone logs. Another month and it would have been lost, automatically deleted. Her thumb coming down on the number, Carmelita brought it to the side of her head and held her breath, awaiting an answer.

*Ring*!
*Ring*!
*Ring*!

*~Click~*

"Hello?" a feminine voice spoke up, a British accent apparent to the tone.

Exhaling deeply and releasing the breath she'd been holding in trepidation, the Hispanic vulpine woman replied, "Hello, Miss Croft? This is Fox again. Carmelita Fox."

There was silence for a moment, as if the other woman on the line needed to think. Finally though, she spoke. "Ah yes!" the voice chirruped with a tone of delight. "How are you doing, Inspector? I must say, it's been awhile. Please allow me to extend my sincerest–albeit belated–congratulations on Thieves in Time. I was delighted to see Sony put you into a main role rather than a supporting one as they had the previous entries of the series. Kudos!"

Closing her eyes, Carmelita took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Actually... I was calling you about that, Miss Croft..."

"Pfft! Please!" the woman on the other end of the call snorted in a rather unladylike fashion. "It might have been some time but we have talked before and met in person a few times at Sony galas at E3. So please, call me, Lara."

Nodding her head in understanding, the vixen told her, "Well Lara... I need help..."

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"And he runs to the shelter of his mother's little helper," Fox sang to himself as he stood about in the kitchen, his right hand reaching over the island and pouring the contents of a bottle of bourbon into three shot glasses lined up on the central counter; an 'appetizer' for himself and his guests when they arrived. Now dressed in a dark cranberry red collared shirt, deep forest green pants and a pair of black sneakers with white accents, the vulpine male did feel a bit better about himself. He was still feeling a little down emotionally, even with the medication that Mario prescribed him... but for the time being, he was otherwise feeling fine–physically at least–and walking on sunshine.

"Walkin' on sunshine... o~OOOOH! I'm unbelievable!" he man chirruped in a musical tone of voice. Wow, oh wow! Who knew a couple of red, blue, and yellow pill doses could make all the difference? Even better, the good doctor promised me that I can still partake of some much needed medication of a whole other sort, the currently grounded pilot thought as he put a little bit more bourbon into the third shot glass to the point where it was threatening to spill over. Oh yes, McCloud has his own way of fighting fever and the chills.

*Ding~Dong*!

"Goddamn it!" he cursed as the doorbell rang. The male vulpine hadn't been expecting anyone this soon and he didn't have any of the snacks ready, just drinks. Still, if would make a nice change of pace to actually spend the time with someone. "Just a minute!" the fox shouted as he headed out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Making his way past the living room and into the foyer, he grasped the door and opened it with a twist of his wrist.

Standing behind it was a blond-haired, blue-eyed man with pointy sylvan ears. Lithe and standing a good 5'10" in height, the athletic build was hidden underneath the immense amount of clothing. A dark green t-shirt with a Tri-Force Logo was the only source of color in the outfit otherwise comprised entirely of black leather. Jacket, fingerless gloves, pants, and boots with bright silver-chromed buckles... admittedly, it did add an air of 'badassery' that the fairy boy was often mocked as lacking. "Hey, Link! Glad to see you could make it!"

"Hey, Fox!" the Hylian waved his left hand in greeting. "I'm not too early, am I? Traffic was FAR lighter than I'd expected for this area."

Shaking his head, the smaller male shouted, "Nah! No worries, Link! I take it you rode your bike here?"

Smirking, the man stepped aside to show off his ride. "Yep! Wanted to really celebrate your success so I'm breaking in my new one! Meet my street legal, 'Epona'." He chuckled at the inside joke. "As you can see from the large-displacement V-twin engine, this baby is of the power cruiser class and can put out significantly higher levels of combustion for even greater speed. Of course I had to upgrade the brakes and suspensions, raise her up for better ground clearance, and kick in for a premium surface finish to stand up against friction..." he then inhaled, practically puffing himself up. "But I tell you, Fox... I couldn't be prouder!"

Walking up to stand beside the machine that was decked out in a paint scheme of gold and black with silver highlights interspersed, the ace pilot studied it about with a critical eye. He couldn't help but chuckle as he saw that along with the custom front fairing made to resemble a shape akin to a horse's head, the bike also had a vanity plate that read, 'EP0N4'. "Not going to lie to you, Link. I'm actually jealous. She's a beauty all right and I can see you built her for speed. Definitely a Harley-Davidson but outside of the basic frame of a 60's model, I can't tell WHICH it is thanks to all the changes you made to her."

"At her heart, she's still a 1969 Harley-Davidson Shovelhead..." the blond elven male said with pride. "She's been my passion project of the past two years... Hyrule Warriors gave me the seed money I needed to start a serious search for a working ride but the little baby took all of my paycheck from this last Smash Bros. to finish off." He brought his left hand up to his face, taking a moment to rub his nose before sniffing, trying to avert a sneeze. "But I tell you, Fox... even with how much Zelda yelled at me for, 'spending so frivolously'? It was well worth it!"

Fox whistled as he continued to look over the beautiful piece of Americana motor-works with custom paintjob. It truly was a piece of art. Probably did worse gas mileage than the original model but the kind of speed this baby would put out as it were now? Easily a fair tradeoff in his opinion. "Spending frivolously, huh? I remember those days when I could do that. I bought myself a 1939 Indian Chieftain motorcycle with my first paycheck from Nintendo."

Link whistled. "Really? A first generation Indian?" at the vulpine's nod, the sylvan male smiled. "Nice!" he chirruped excitedly. "Any chance I can see it?"

Now the slightly shorter furry male looked over at his friend with obvious annoyance. "Just look in your garage. You've owned it for a while now, remember? I sold it to you eight years ago so I could really treat Krystal... for…" he paused for a moment, his eyes going somewhat distant. "Her birthday..." he finally finished, his throat feeling a little tight.

"Aw, hell..." the blond murmured in anger at himself, realizing what he'd done. Bringing his left hand down, he gently rubbed Fox's right shoulder. "Come on now. Snap out of it, my little furry buddy. Now's not the time for moping; today is YOUR day!"

Fox blinked his eyes once, twice, the reverie he was beginning to fall down broken. Still, he turned to his pal, staring at him with a raised eyebrow. "Little furry buddy?" he quoted with a note of annoyance.

Shrugging his shoulders, the sylvan told him, "Just a thought. Now come on. I know you've been dying for a drink since Nintendo put you on the wagon, so jump off already. Let's go inside and get hammered. I'll take the blame should you do anything stupid."

A small smile tugged at the corner of the vulpine male's muzzle. "You sure you want to start drinking now? Mario isn't even here yet." And considering the Italian's busy work schedule, it would be a considerable while longer too.

Snorting, the Hylian was quick to answer, "Man, fuck Mario. Does this look like Mario Party to you? Now come on! Vámonos!" He clapped his hands together. "Chop-chop and bring me inside! We got liquor to down as if we were tossing back Lon-Lon milks!"

Snorting right back at his friend, the currently grounded pilot and off-duty videogame star told his taller and fleshier pal, "Damn, Link. Now I remember why Nintendo insists you play a silent protagonist in your series. Because otherwise you are such an asshole..."

Shrugging his shoulders, the blonde whole-heartedly agreed with the all-too-familiar and irritating response of, "Well excu~Uuuuuuuse me, Princess!"

Fox's response to the, 'surfer dude' voice was to lightly punch the guy in his arm. "Shut up and come in for bourbon already."

"Bourbon?" Link queried, immediately dropping the fake valley guy accent he put on for the small moment of mockery. At the shorter fur's nod of the head in response, the elven male was grinning wide. "Nice!"

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Cruising along the interstate highway in her cherry-red '91 Dodge Shadow ES convertible at a considerable pace, Carmelita focused as she kept her eyes on the exit numbers. Thirty-one, thirty-one... come on exit thirty-one... she thought as she continued to keep her foot pressed on the pedal, putting it to the floor at times to pick up a little extra speed now and then–making certain to stay within the speed limit, naturally. She couldn't help but feel anxious; the vulpine woman had expected Lara to get back to her at a later date with a list of possible jobs. Instead, the human woman offered her one on the spot! Gave her the address for a business she was partnered in and told her to come down for an interview.

Hence, the vixen pushing the posted speed limit as she drove along the West coast highway. She was nervous and excited all at once. More importantly, she sure as hell didn't want to keep the woman waiting after being given such a generous offer. The fur was going to prove she was dependable and worth the time and opportunity Miss Croft was giving her.

"Exit thirty-one!" the blue-tressed woman gasped aloud right before she turned to the right and took the off-ramp, the exit dropping her down into the city. This section had shorter buildings, the tallest perhaps being three stories, all of which were slightly worn from years of exposure to the elements. It was enough to make the fur raise an eyebrow. She had been expecting someone like Lady Croft to have opened up a business venture somewhere in the expensive if not elitist part of the state, not somewhere they could still see the sky. "At least we aren't in what would be considered a dangerous neighborhood..." she murmured as she began to slowly make her way through the mild city traffic, having to wait on numerous stoplights and intersections before she came upon her destination.

Pulling into an empty parking lot, Carmelita drove up towards the front. Driving into one of the closest non-handicapped parking spaces, the woman sat in her car for a moment as she took a good look at the place. It was a one-story building, shaped like an, 'L' and adorned with a low-pitched roof and reminded her of a ranch house for the most part. Said building took up at least a third of its two acre real estate; the rest of which was asphalt and white paint lines. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact the side of the building's exterior that faced the road had a big–and currently unlit–neon light sign that read, 'The Game Over Club' the blue-tressed fur would have thought she had the wrong address.

"Well, no time like the present," she murmured as she put the car into its parking gear before turning the key in the ignition, cutting off the engine. Placing it within her handbag, she opened her door and stepped out before slamming it shut. She stood there, decked in a black halter top that showed off her neckline, blue skinny jeans that clung like a second skin, and her feet decked in her brown leather buckled boots that she favored, the denim jeans tucked into them. Still can't figure out why Miss Croft told me to dress to accentuate my beauty but remain casual. Although considering the neighborhood she was in, this certainly wasn't a fancy dress-up affair, was it?

Shouldering her purse and closing the zipper, the Hispanic furry woman made her way up to the intricately carved wooden door. Reaching out, she knocked on it. "Hello?" she called out. Waiting a moment, the foxy lady brought her right hand up again, rapping her knuckles a second time. "Hello?" she called out again. When there was again no answer, the vulpine almost reached for her cell phone to call Lara when a thought occurred to her. Curious, she reached out for the gold-chromed one-piece door handle and pulled on it.

The door opened.

Getting a feel for the heavy weight of the door for a moment, the woman began to cautiously enter the otherwise empty establishment. With a curious eye, the vixen looked about, wondering what she was getting into. There was a podium near the entrance itself, immediately reminding Carmelita of a restaurant's Maître d' station where guests would be greeted before being seated. Beyond that a nicely polished and waxed cherry wood bar was stationed with floor-mounted steel stools with cranberry colored cushioned seating before it. Further still, into the main chamber area, the place was filled with numerous tables with chairs currently resting on top upside down; all of which seemed to be placed to give whoever sat at them an excellent view of a central stage. The platform itself was that of a runway design that originated from a curtained back wall and had the interesting addition of being lined with a countertop extension around the rim, the wooden length broken by a set of stairs placed at either side of the stage to allow easy access. There were also chairs set up around the perimeter of the stage that people could sit at and watch whatever was going on.

They must run some kind of dinner show here, the vixen thought as she walked further into the currently closed business. There was a lingering scent of smoke in the air... and upon seeing the ashtrays adorning each table, she realized that this was a building that allowed such. While not a real inspector of Interpol–although she played one convincingly for the games–she did tend to look at things with a detective's mindset. The fact that this place could allow smoking despite state laws meant it was a private establishment that required a dedicated form of entry. "I wonder if a membership is required..." she murmured as she continued to look about.

And it was only then she realized there was a trio of brass poles coming up from and evenly dispersed over the stage and straight into the ceiling. It was a roof that was mounted with a series of spotlights on rotary turnstiles and adorned with colored lenses.

No... no it couldn't be. Deciding to get to the bottom of this, the furry woman shouted, "HELLO! LARA! ARE YOU HERE?"

Almost immediately, a voice could be heard coming from somewhere in the building in response to her shouting. "Carmelita! Is that you?"

Relaxing somewhat as she heard and recognized the dulcet tone of Miss Croft's British accent, Carmelita called out in a much calmer voice, "Yes, it's me, niña! Where you at?"

A sound of a door's hinges creaking caught Carmelita's attention. She turned about to the source of the noise and found that it had been a door she had missed on her initial perusal; one off past the bar and settled into the far wall. Coming out of it was the Tomb Raider herself, Lara Croft.

Said woman was just as the vixen remembered her: an athletically-built woman with bright chocolate eyes and reddish-brown hair pulled back in a plait-style of braided ponytail. Gone however, were the days of turquoise tank tops, khaki shorts, calf-high boots, and knee-high white socks. Instead, the woman was dressed in a white blouse with shawl-style neck design, black Capri-style pants that came down just below her knees to show off her shin and ankles, and was walking with magnificent balance in a pair of black high-heel spaghetti-strap shoes, somehow able to move with incredible grace and poise.

Still, she was also decked out in her utility belt with holsters on either side, each packed with a one of a pair of pistols so perhaps the Tomb Raider the fox knew was still there in the woman.

"Right here, darling!" Lara cooed as she closed the distance before kneeling down slightly to give the vulpine woman a hug. "Oh, it's good to see you again, Carmelita. I love the makeover."

Returning the hug, the Hispanic vixen began to relax a bit more. She was always self-conscience about the chances she had to go through for Thieves in Time... amongst other things. "I hope you didn't mind me just showing myself in. I knocked on the door but no one answered," she couldn't help but apologize to the human woman. She was one of those people that HATED doing anything she felt was against the law. Just explaining herself right away eased her conscience faster than anything else if she felt she'd done wrong.

"That's all right, Carm. No harm, no foul." Slowly releasing the hug, the brunette stood up again before asking, "I can call you Carm, right?"

Nodding her head, the furry canid woman was quick to reply, "Of course, Miss Croft."

A small smile tugged at the corners of the woman's lips. "And again, please call me Lara in return." Noticing the flash of discomfort on the furry girl's face, a small chuckle reverberated in the woman's chest. "Relax. I know you like to keep things professional but we're all friends here, even if I do end up being one of your bosses for a while." She then motioned to the still open entrance she'd come out of. "Come on, Carm. Allow me to introduce you to my partner, Richard. Then we can get you settled in."

Watching the woman make her way back towards the door, Carmelita quickly followed suit where she entered what she'd consider a small but surprisingly luxurious office space. For one thing, the floor was decked in a nice white carpet that let the presence of everything else in the room really pop out. This included the polished mahogany oval-shaped desk adorned with a crystalline lamp on the right and a matching crystalline ashtray on the left that was holding a rather large and slowly smoking stogie. And speaking of matching, the wooden book case behind it appeared to be of the same material as the desk. More importantly though was that this was obviously a dual work-space as there were drawers with bronze handles partitioned out over the front of said desk, facing out towards Carmelita, as well as the center of the piece of furniture being completely open as to allow a pair of people to slide chairs under from either side. They were some nice chairs too; the same mahogany wood as the desk for their base frame but done in the style of swivel chairs on rollers and then topped with comfortable looking cranberry leather upholstery. With the tall and healthy green leafy plant stationed in one corner and a small off-white loveseat-styled couch opposite and close to the door, the room really came together.

Sitting at the desk in one of said wooden swivel chairs was a man with his back to the bookcase so he could face towards the entrance. He was of a muscular build, a pair of striking blue eyes, and sporting a blond crew-cut hairdo. And good Lord, was he dressed to the nines! A brown suit comprised of a single breasted jacket with notched lapels and an American flag handkerchief in the breast pocket, a lighter brown vest over a yellow shirt with silver tie that was adorned with splashes of gray of black, tapered trousers with light brown dress socks that went into brown leather straight-laced dress-shoes, and finally a gold watch adorned his left wrist. He hadn't reacted to her yet, his interests more focused on whatever was written down on the pages of a three-ringed binder he was perusing.

This display was certainly more along the lines of what Carmelita was expecting when she was told that Lara had a business she would like her to work for.

Seeing that her partner had yet to take his eyes off their quarterly reports, the Tomb Raider spoke up suddenly. "Richard!" she stated the man's name firmly. "The possible hire I was telling you about is here!"

"...Hmm?" the man mumbled as his eyes finally rolled back from where they'd been following the long catalogue of number expenses and returns. They focused on the buxom brunette for a moment. After a moment of staring at the woman standing before him, he finally spoke out in a firm baritone, "Lara, can this wait a moment? I'm trying to finish this section of the weeklies so I can finally stop for some lunch. I'm running on empty as is."

Placing her hands on her hips, the woman narrowed her brown eyes and glared down at the man. "I said the possible hire I was telling you about is here!" she shouted once more, repeating herself to let him know that no, this would not wait. "Christ, Richard! You always get like this with the quarterlies! You ignore everything else until you can get all your ducks lined in a row!"

Placing the folder down, the man met the woman's steely gaze with his own. "Well someone has to take this seriously," he said firmly. "Remember, Lara! I was running this place long before I ever took you on as a partner. I know what I'm doing. The Game Over's finances need to be handled with so much finesse, that it's practically raked with a fine-tooth comb! The Feds are constantly on my back over this place. The slightest mistake could get us audited out the..." he trailed off as the woman glared at him. "...Out the butt..." he finished in a slightly less crass way than he had originally intended. Woman always hated when he swore around her.

The woman gave a firm nod of her head. That was slightly better. "Yes. I was also the club's first major attraction and besides that, it was me who taught you how to do your taxes because you were going to have to file Chapter 11 otherwise," she started back firmly. "I know how handle the books just as well if not better so take an early lunch break, would you? That way, I can introduce you to my friend and our possible new employee."

Seeing the man's attention was now directed towards her, the Hispanic vulpine smiled. "Hola!" she chimed in greeting. "My name is Carmelita. Carmelita Montoya Fox. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I have a background in criminal justice and working on videogames, the Sly Cooper series for Sony. I hope I can prove myself as a competent—"

"No," the man said firmly, interrupting whatever else she had to say. He then turned his attention back his desk, picking up the binder so he could continue his number-crunching.

Carmelita felt as tough a lump of lead just dropped into the pit of her stomach. "Well... so much for that, then..." she said softly. If he didn't want her, then who was she to force the issue? It wasn't like this was the end of the road. She still had time. She could find something else...

And she certainly wasn't going to let the asshole see her cry!

However, before she could attempt to leave, her friend came to her defense. "Damn it, Richard!" the British archaeologist shouted, her voice rising in anger. "Why the hell not!? You didn't even let her finish introducing herself!"

Sighing irritably, the blond male snapped the binder shut and placed it on his side of the desk once more. "Damn it, Lara! We've been over this before! We can't take in every hard-luck case you come across, even a pretty one!"

The vixen couldn't help but blush slightly at the compliment... even if it was coming in a rather backhanded manner.

"We also have more than enough hands on deck as it is," he continued his tirade. "We've got more employees than we can fairly fit on all the nights; we're already down to allowing the girls to come in only four nights a week each so the influx of money can be distributed fairly... even if it helps keep the rotation fresh and varied every night, the girls have to work that much harder to earn their quota!" Then after a moment, he added, "Besides, she's just another furry! And a fox at that! We already have more than enough foxes on hand!"

Rolling her eyes, Lara replied, "No we don't, Richard. Krystal and Renamon are dealing with their own side-projects more often than not. We see them, what? Once a month, tops at best? And you know from those numbers you like to keep tabs on that their presence does make the cash flow in whenever either of them is in. People like if not love vixens!"

The man considered that for a moment. From his experience running the Game Over Club, such WAS true. "Yeah, yeah..." he admitted after a moment. "But we also have another fox on staff already. It wouldn't be fair to bring someone else in to cut into her earnings."

Raising an eyebrow, Lara queried, "Who?"

"You know the one," the man said firmly. "The human-sized one who worked on that Brutal game in the early 90's..." he paused for a moment as he thought of anything else to really describe her. "She's the one who wears all that sexy tight Lycra!"

"Foxy Roxy?" the ponytailed woman offered.

Giving Lara a thumbs-up, the man replied, "Bingo."

"Oh for the love of..." Lara rolled her eyes. "Damn it, Richard! She hasn't worked here in over a year! Remember? Ken came in one night and proposed to her and she accepted on the spot! We gave her a party and everything!" She narrowed his eyes. "You even walked her down the aisle at her wedding for Christ's sake!"

That gave the man a moment of pause, the memories coming all too clearly now. Damn, it seemed like a lifetime ago since then, like it was for a whole other person. "Oh... oh yeah..." he murmured, actually feeling rather ashamed of himself for having remembered her only as an employee and not the person she was afterwards. Taking a deep breath, the blond continued, "But what about the fox girl from League of Legends? Sinna, I think her name is."

The British took a deep breathe, causing her chest to heave and press up against the material of her white blouse. "First off, she's a Kitsune, not a fox girl. Secondly, she's NEVER worked here. That's just wishful thinking on your part!"

Slowly, he raised his head, giving the woman his attention. "Fine. We don't have any vixens on hand. But that doesn't mean we don't have more than enough furries!" he shouted. He held up his right hand, raising his index finger. "The Catgirl Felicia." His middle finger came up. "Coco Bandicoot." His ring finger joined the fray. "Lotus the Leopard Princess." His pinkie rose up. "Also can't forget Alice the Rabbit." His eyes narrowed. "And just so many more! Do I really need to go on?"

"Yes," the Tomb Raider said firmly. "You can stop with all the bluster and excuses already and finally get on with the oath you made to yourself when you first opened Game Over." If her partner wasn't going to give Carmelita a fair chance to show she was worth it, then the woman was going to force the issue.

The man visibly cringed. "Lara..."

"All I'm asking is you make good on your oath to give anyone a job who asks for one," the British brunette stated firmly. "You know better than anyone what it's like to live through those hard times and you didn't want anyone else to suffer, hence the vow you took... and told me about when I came begging for a job."

"...She hasn't asked for a—"

"PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB, SIR!" Carmelita shouted suddenly, interrupting the man before he could finish that statement and possibly deny her a shot at working at the club. Seeing him staring at her, the blue-tressed vixen blushed and continued much more calmly, "I don't know what you would want me for, but Miss Croft has faith in my abilities. I... I promise to do my very best!" She stood there after as the man glared at her, doing her best to suppress the shudder she knew her body wanted to release.

The blond was quiet for a long while, just staring down the vulpine. When she didn't back down, he knew this was it. He was a man of his word. "...Fine!" the man finally snapped. "Have it your way! You want in, we'll give you a shot. You come in tonight and show us what you got. If you do well, you'll get to stay on in some permanent basis, either full or part-time." He then grasped the folder again roughly, opening the three-ring binder and turning pages quickly to find where he last left off.

Clasping her hands together, the Hispanic vulpine bowed her head in gratitude. "Thank you ever so much!" she cried out. "I promise that you won't regret this, sir! I'll prove myself to be a valuable asset to your club!"

Snorting, the man said, "As long as you can pull in four figures tonight, I really don't give a..." he noticed Lara staring at him with a steely gaze. "A poop," he finally replied. Shaking his head, the man grumbled irritably, "Christ, I don't know why I put up with this bullspit..." he murmured, keeping himself PG while in Croft's presence. "I'm trying to run a business here, not a friggin' charity..."

Managing a small, genuine smile, his female partner told him in a kind tone, "It's because deep down, you still have a good heart, Nukem."

That made Carmelita blink her eyes once, twice, thrice. "Nukem? As in Duke Nukem?" She studied the man's features, really taking in his chiseled looks... before her eyes went back to the cigar she'd noticed resting in the crystalline ashtray on his side of the desk when she first entered. He didn't sound all gruff and macho but the looks, the build, plus that brand of smokes? There was only one real answer to her question. "Oh Dios mío, it really is you!"

Needless to say, that comment caused the man to groan. "I'm always going to be remembered for that overly violent, sexually immature, and overall crass chapter of my life, aren't I?"

Smirking, Lara kindly told him, "We can't outrun our pasts, Duke." She had called the man by his nickname with a teasing tone, smirking in a mischievous fashion as she elicited another groan from him just as she was angling for it to. "You're always going to be remembered as, 'The Duke' just as I'm always going to be, 'The Tomb Raider' even though I haven't been in one of those games for well over a decade."

That caught Carmelita's attention. "...You... you haven't been in a videogame in over a decade?" that didn't make sense to her. While there had been the occasional slump in appearances, the games of the Tomb Raider franchise continued to come out the pipeline as it were. "Are you saying that wasn't you all this time?"

Nodding her head firmly, the brunette told her vulpine friend, "Of course. Angel of Darkness was the last videogame outing I ever made. After that, Sony was mostly done with me. I was getting older and no longer the huge financial draw I had been. I had become, in their words, 'old hat'." She snorted in annoyance before continuing. "Still, even if they denied me what was once MY job, I've managed to finagle things in a court of law so that other members of my family could take my name and role in the game industry so at least the franchise would remain, 'in the family' as it were." She smirked.

The vixen nodded her head slowly. That did explain the changes in Lara's looks and even voice thereafter. And here she'd thought all those differences had been on the part of the developers' sense of artistic license. "So the current and very successful games?" she asked curiously.

"That is my younger sister," Lara stated. "Once my lawyers got the series out of Sony's grubby mitts, I felt it was safe for her to take over the reins for me. I was through being the Tomb Raider and had no intention of going back but... you know, any way to help family and screw over Sony." She stuck her tongue out cutely.

That bit of information made Duke snort. "Funny," he murmured only so he could be half-heard. "I would have sworn she was actually your grand—"

*BANG*!

"GAH!" Carmelita yelled back as she saw the now smoking Colt 1911 pistol in the other woman's grasp. "MISS CROFT!?" the poor vulpine cried out in shock. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FIRING GUNS OFF IN A BUILDING!?"

The British beauty merely ignored her friend, her attention firmly on the blond. "...What was that?" Lara asked with a growling smirk; a sneer that told him he'd better rectify what he was about to say.

Duke looked at the smoking hole in the upholstery of his chair right below his crotch and then slowly back up at his overly emotional business partner. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. Placing them over his face, the man spoke in his gruff, overly macho voice he used back in the 90's. "Cold, lady. Cold. As. Ice."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Settled in the living room of his McCloud's home, the Hylian and the vulpine had been enjoying shooting the breeze while tossing back some drinks. They hadn't been the best of friends for very long, only the having really talked and gotten to know each other the second time they were in a Smash Bros. game together. Now though, they were good friends and could burn daylight just talking, which had become their number one pastime when it was just them... a default state of being comfortable with one another.

The blond had been regaling his friend for a while at this point, many hours and many shots since he'd arrived. "I tell you Fox," Link said as he sat back on the five-piece couch, swirling his bourbon in his glass. "It's not easy having to deal with so-called nepotism. I never pushed Robyn to join the so-called, family business as it were. I would have been happy and proud no matter WHAT vocation she decided to follow. Instead, when she was seven-years-old, Nintendo made an offer to her to play, 'Young Zelda' in Ocarina of Time. I allowed it and they've had their eyes on her ever since."

"Well, nothing wrong with that if you ask me," Fox replied as he relaxed back on a recliner chair; the seat made of the same brown leather as the couch. "I think it would be nice to be able to keep my eyes on my kid..." he sighed as he looked into his empty shot glass. "That is, it would be if I had any..." he softly murmured as he reached forward, grabbing the bottle off the coffee table and refilling his small crystalline drinking glass.

"Maybe in the beginning... but now they got her doing content for Hyrule Warriors, trying to appease this growing feminist movement by making her take the name, 'Linkle'..." again, the blond male snorted. "Linkle... there wasn't anything wrong with the Robyn. No, can't let the kid stand on her own two feet with her real name, need to slap some brand recognition all over her and hope it appeases Miss Sarkeesian!" He rolled his eyes. "Goddesses, do I miss the old days..." he said with a wistful sigh. "All you needed was a good story and game mechanics."

Fox smirked. "Or at least an FX microchip," he murmured before downing another shot. He wasn't going to lie; that three-dimensional effect was what put his game on the map. A small gimmick is what got the pilot his claim to fame... fame that once he had it, he'd surprisingly managed to hold onto all this time later.

Holding up his own half-empty glass, the pointy-eared male mumbled in response, "True that. I just worry she's going to get pulled into something she's not ready for. So many assholes on the internet are already biting her head off, saying she needs to be a female Link instead of a girl with double crossbows. Bullshit," he cursed. Closing his eyes, the sylvan took a deep breath to ease his tension. "It's not my battle, but I can't help but feel protective, you know? She's twenty-five now; an adult in every sense of the word and legal definition. Robyn shouldn't have to be anything but what she wants, especially not what anyone else tells her to be!" Then as an afterthought, he added, "Even if one thing she's always going to be is my little girl..."

Chuckling a little at that comment, the male canid queried, "Well, have you ever considered that maybe she IS okay with this? They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and from what I remembered you telling me about her... Robyn WAS a daddy's girl growing up." He gave his friend a small smile. "Besides, because Nintendo is trying to make sure she's part of the Legend of Zelda brand, you can bet they'll do everything they can to keep her out of trouble. Just look at the lengths they went to hide the fact Mario can be a loud, obnoxious, violent jackass."

Link burst out laughing. "Ain't THAT the truth..." he took a deep breath. "Man, I remember when the footage of Mario flipping out at the first–and LAST–Nintendo Happiness Event leaked... their four biggest mascots at the time all coming out together in friendship, hand-in-hand... and then he turned about in mid-skip, violently kicking Yoshi in the shin because the damn dinosaur had eaten his lunch back stage, causing the overgrown lizard to fall over and making all hell to break loose. The big-wigs at the Big N went into overdrive to put a positive spin on THAT one. Ended up turning it into the announcement for the first Super Smash Bros."

Fox nodded his head, remembering those days. "Yeah. I only found out after the fact. You know where I was at the time? I was just coming off of Star Fox 64 when suddenly my agent called me, screaming there was no time to explain and all I had to do was say, 'yes' or 'no'..." he smirked. "Turned out, when I said yes, I was agreeing to be part of the cover-up."

"They did something similar to me too," the blond admitted. "I was just finishing production on Ocarina of Time when my agent came up to me in person with the same inquiry. All I had to do was answer yes or no, with no context whatsoever. Wouldn't even let me ask questions in return, just kept insisting I give him a one word response." After a moment, Link then added, "Still... I'm glad I did. It allowed me to become a first in the premiere of what would be one of Nintendo's staple franchises. Man, I have fun working on those."

Fox winced. "Sorry about that, by the way," he said in all seriousness. "There really should have been another one much sooner... but..." he signed. "The reps at Nintendo really, REALLY hated Krystal and they knew how popular she was. They didn't want to put her in... and..."

Nodding his head in understanding, the pointy-eared male firmly told his furry friend, "No need to explain!" While a bit harsh, he was doing his best to keep his friend from focusing on his troubles. Still, to soften the blow, he quickly added, "Believe me, McCloud. I of all people know how it is. Nintendo is an okay company but they make some REALLY odd choices and decisions at times. Remember when they allowed Phillips a backdoor entry into my contract and I had to help produce games for the CD-i?"

That made the vulpine visibly shudder; he'd seen clips of the final product before on the internet. "I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos!" he quoted.

Letting out a most depressive sigh, all the Hylian could answer to that was, "I am never going to live that one down. That was easily the low-point of my life"

Raising his head from his drink, the Papetoonian turned to look at the sylvan male. "And here I thought the lowest point of your life was, 'The Great Cucco Attack of '95'?"

Link visibly shuddered. "Fox... we agreed to never talk about that."

The vulpine tilted his head, staring at his friend with an expression that practically screamed, 'Really?'

His face becoming flush with embarrassment, the blond mumbled irritably, "Back in my day, we at least knew better than to take one to a fair." As he said that, the pointy-eared male reached out towards the coffee table, topping off his shot glass before downing it all in one shot. "Aaahhh..." he breathed out slowly, allowing the burn to reverberate through his throat. "Hopefully that killed the brain-cells with those memories."

Fox allowed his friend a moment to enjoy his bourbon before continuing. "Tell me something," the pilot queried. "How many people died at the Hyrule Market Place that day when a drunken knight kicked one?"

Link groaned in frustration as he remembered THAT week. "Save Hyrule, they love you for it. Let three-hundred people get killed by Cucco assault, they never let you live it down..."

Fortunately, the Hylian was saved from further embarrassment by the rapid ringing of the doorbell.

*Ding~Dong*!
*Ding~Dong*!
*Ding~Dong*!
*Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding~Dong*!
*Ding~Dong*!

"Son of a bitch," Link chuckled. "Looks like Trouble himself has arrived." Putting down their shot glasses, the pair made their way to the entrance. Fox grasped the door handle and slowly turned...

Only to left go as it spun all the way faster than he could turn the knob; the vulpine knocked back a few steps as the door suddenly slammed open. "IT'SA ME! DOCTOR MARIO IN THE HOUSE, MOTHER FUCKA~AAAAHS!"

Such an enthusiastic entrance gave both the vulpine and the Hylian pause as the proverbial if not literal Face of Nintendo himself lunged into the foyer. Gone was the traditional attire of denim overalls and red. Instead, the mustachioed plumber was decked in a pink Hawaiian shirt with yellow flower patterns, white Bermuda shorts with blue pipeline accents, and a pair of white Nike sneakers and ankle socks. The man was further blinked out with a trio of gold watches over his left forearm, a gold Super Mushroom stud earring with diamond accents for the cap pattern in his left ear, and a gold chain necklace with a very large solid gold Starman charm. The latter of which only drew attention to the fact the top half of his shirts buttons were undone, exposing his surprisingly muscled–and VERY hairy–chest.

Truly... he was a living, breathing Italian stereotype... albeit he currently looked like one of Florida's rather than Brooklyn.

"WHAT'SA UP, MAH HOMIES?" the mustached man called out in a most boisterous of fashions. "ARE WE READY TO MAKE THIS'A DE GREATEST MARIO PARTY OR WHAT!?"