Uncertainty
Esme's reproving voice called sharply down the stairs. I smiled to myself at how much this "vampire" family seemed so much like other normal ones. I could instantly feel the warmness and cosiness of this family and in this case the brother love beside me. When I would be transformed I will be able to put all my into my family because there is no one else I would trust more. Suddenly I noticed that the room had gone really quiet. The TV was already turned off and Emmett had disappeared. When I looked up I saw Edward's solid gold eyes starring at me with great wonder. I smiled at him and once again was extremely grateful of the fact that Edward couldn't read my thoughts. It wasn't only because I usually though about some very embarrassing things but also I love the ways his eyes and face looked when he was looking at me trying to figure out what I was thinking. I knew that his curiosity must be intense. "ugggg! Bella will you please tell me what you are thinking!"
I laughed "well I was thinking about my future family and how much I will love it!" I studied his face carefully trying to figure it out. It was a little glum at first then he relaxed and cuddled me closer to him. "I am so very glad you think that, yet are you sure? Do you really want to be one of us?" I sighed oh Edward he would ask me this same question forever. Maybe even until the very minuet before Carlisle transforms me. "Edward Cullen, how many times so I have to tell you this I want to be with you forever, and I fully trust that you and everybody else will help me not get in trouble." He tilted his head down and looked up at me, took a deep breath which I know for a vampire that was a really odd thing to do. I was so curious that I almost forgot to breath. "What is it?"
"Bella I'm…. scared" he admitted solemnly. Just then a couple of high pitched murmurs (other than Emmett's) came from upstairs. Then out of nowhere Alice put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Its okay Edward we can do this, especially with Jasper around it will be okay. Bella is a human who chooses this herself she is more mentally prepared then most of us here I think she will have good control. I smiled at Alice and turned to Edward looking at him with a serious look on my face. "Edward you have done so many great things that take a lot of work even for you. Like trying to resist my blood, or even doing something so ridiculous like…..leave me…." He cringed. "Anyways I just want you to know that I love you and no matter what happen I always will."
"He looked at me with unsure eyes and smiled my favourite crooked smile yet it didn't reach his eyes.