A continuation of Hate It, Break It. Can also be read without having read that one first. This is really for my husband, who brought up some good points that Hate It, Break It, lacked, and because he's kind of into the canon pairing thing when it comes to Lily and James.
As with the first one, this is AU and OOC. And this is pretty short, but I like to think short is sometimes better.
After labor, Lily thinks she can survive anything, and that includes facing her life for what it is, not what it isn't. She knows what it isn't, and it is something she has dwelt on and ached over for as long as she can remember. She has come to realize and accept that Severus will never be hers, that she will never be Mrs. Lily Snape. She will not wake up in a flat cramped with books and potion ingredients and scrolls of parchment, and roll over to the smell of treacle and she won't taste sweet, bitter wine on the lips of her true love.
James is not her true love, and she has known this from the first time she met him, when she was small and naive and believed the world was full of hope and wonder. But James is her husband. He is the father of her son, of Harry, and Harry is the reason her life is now bright and full of real smiles. James has given her the gift of motherhood, and for that, she loves him. It is a complete 180 degree difference than her love for Severus, but it is still a strong feeling, a bond that she is becoming grateful for. James cares for her, he adores her. He would give anything to and for her, do anything to and for her.
(her heart still rips a little at the seams when she remembers the same cannot be said of Severus)
It is a late Autumn evening when she looks at James, holding and playing with Harry, their miracle. Harry is a miniature version of her husband, save for the eyes--Harry has her eyes. She wonders if it will be something he can remember her by, and she hopes that when he thinks of her, when he's older, he'll remember his mother as a woman who loved him, and loved his father.
It still hurts, still burns, because she always thought, when she knew she wanted to be married and have a family, that her son would look like Severus. He would have eyes like obsidian and they would gleam dark blue in the sunlight. His hair would be sleek, and his smile would be heart-stopping. He would carry on the namesake of his father.
(this is why Lily almost doesn't name her son Harry James)
But it really hits her, as Harry is falling asleep cradled against James' chest, that her life is good. She lives in a gorgeous, luxurious home, and has a son that makes her life worth living. She has a husband who loves her, who thinks everything of her.
Severus will always have her heart. She knows she will never forget him, and she will never entirely accept that she isn't with the man who first made her fall head over heels, but the dreams are less frequent, and his eyes and touches are slowly fading, and she thinks that she can do this, this life. She does love James, and she would do anything, give her life, for her son.
In retrospect she would have done things--most things--differently.
But she would never have changed being the mother of Harry James Potter.
I am not a fan of Lily/James, but I think that Lily, my Lily anyway, lives (lived) for Harry. She will always love Severus more than James, and in a different, more intimate way, but she loves James as well. So, I thought I should show that, and I hope this came across.
As always, thanks for reading!