A/N. This started out fluffy. It really did. I have no idea where the angst came from but here we are.
-The Perfect Day-
"Marinette? Are you listening to me?"
Marinette blinks, her vision swimming for a moment before it focuses on the mildly concerned look of the blond in front of her. Her own brows furrow in confusion as she glances around the classroom. Nothing seems out of place. There's Rose chatting animatedly to Juleka, Nath is busy with his latest comic, she can hear Chloe's whiny voice as she complains to Sabrina about her broken nail.
It looks like any other morning at school.
So why does she feel so confused?
"Marinette?" he prompts again. Her blue eyes meet Adrien's bright green ones and she feels herself relax slightly. That's right, she was talking to Adrien. He greeted her good morning and asked if he could have a moment alone with her. She remembers now.
"Oh sorry, I—I kind of spaced out for a bit," she apologizes.
"You sure you're okay?" he asks. His concern makes her smile feel a little more genuine.
"Yeah, what you were, I mean, what were you saying?"
He smiles fondly as if she had just done something endearing and it makes her blush. "I was asking if you would like to hang out on Saturday?" She can tell that he means for his statement to be a sentence, but it comes out like a question and he rubs the back of his neck out of embarrassment.
"With Nino and Alya?" she asks, impressed by her own ability to keep her cool at the moment.
"No," he admits shyly, then steals himself by flashing her one of the smiles she often sees on magazine covers. "Just the two of us."
Butterflies erupt in her stomach and it takes everything inside of her not to squeal in excitement. It's actually happening, wait until Alya finds out she's going to freak out. And when I tell Ti—
Her train of thought gets interrupted when her forehead suddenly throbs. She ignores it and gives Adrien her brightest smile. This is the best day of her life and goddamnit she is going to be cool for once in her life. "I'd love to," she's about to say, and she doesn't know why she hesitates. "I—I," she stutters for an entirely different reason. She pushes the words out of her mouth, as if each moment is a conscious effort, which makes absolutely no sense because this is everything she's ever wanted. "I'd love to," she finally manages.
When Adrien smiles at her, she realizes she's looking for something. She doesn't know what it is, but it disappoints her when she doesn't find it.
Alya's reaction is everything she expected it to be and more. Her squeals are enough to make her parents peaks into her room to make sure nothing's wrong.
"Girl, it's finally happening! Do you know what you're going to wear? Do you know where you're going? This is amazing!" Alya says, placing her hands on Marinette's shoulders and shaking the bluenette in excitement.
Marinette laughs and answers easily, "I know exactly what to wear, but I have no idea where we're going."
That's all it takes for Alya to pull back and frown at her. Suspicion is written all over the redhead's face and Marinette can practically hear the alarm bells going off in her mind. "Okay, spill. Why aren't you freaking out?"
Marinette waves away her suspicions, "I guess I just can't quite believe it yet, that's all."
A look of understanding passes over Alya's features and she pulls in Marinette for a hug. "Well when you do freak out, and, girl, trust me, you will freak out, you know where to find me. I'm always going to be here to support you."
"Don't you mean, 'I'm always going to be here to support mew?'"
Marinette stiffens and looks around her room wildly, looking for the source of the voice. "Did you hear that?" she asks.
"Hear what?" Alya says, looking around the room with her.
When she finds nothing, Marinette shakes her head as if that would be enough to clear the memory of the voice from her mind. "Nothing," she lies, and is surprised by how easy it is to lie to her best friend. "Nothing at all."
Marinette feels on edge as she settles into her bed and draws her covers up to her chin as if that would be enough to protect her from whatever it is that's freaking her out. She hugs her cat pillow tightly to her chest as if that would be enough to fill the indescribable sense that something is lacking.
She's struck by how quiet it is tonight, though it's not like she plays music to fall asleep anyway. Every night for the past fifteen years, she has fallen asleep just like this with no problem. But now her ears are straining for a something and it's driving her mad.
She forces herself to think about her and Adrien's upcoming date, about the perfect score she received in her Chemistry test—Chemistry of all subjects!—, about the giant discount she received at the fabric store. Today was the perfect day, she repeats to herself, the perfect day.
"I believe you mean the purrfect day, Purrincess."
The cat pillow's eyes are suddenly a vibrant green.
Her parents come running up when they hear her screams.
Her mother tells her she looks beautiful. Alya takes pictures and coos over the dress Marinette designed and chose to wear tonight. Marinette smiles distractedly as they do, and they mistake it for embarrassment. If a voice just so happens to whisper the occasional cat pun in her ear, well, no one has to know about that just yet.
This is her night. She's determined to enjoy it.
Adrien is an absolute gentleman as they walk to the little restaurant Adrien has chosen for their date. He's sweet and kind and everything Marinette ever thought he would be and yet she finds her gaze wandering to the rooftops.
"What are you looking at?" Adrien asks when her eyes flit away from him for the nth time this evening. There's not annoyance in his voice, for which Marinette is grateful.
"I…don't know," she answers honestly.
"Of course you do," the voice says, and Marinette's grown so used to it that she doesn't even flinch anymore.
Adrien stops walking and eyes the same rooftop she was looking at. His lips are pursed and his brows are furrowed. It's an expression she's not used to seeing on his face. "Am I doing something wrong?"
"No!" she blurts out and shakes her head hard enough for some of her hair to slip out of the bun she wore. "Everything's perfect! You're perfect! I mean, nothing's wrong. Of course not."
His eyes are a strange kind of green in the dark as they meet hers. It makes her stomach flop in a way that it hasn't before. "What am I missing? Isn't this everything you ever wanted?"
"Yes! No! Maybe," she says, unable to cut off her own rambling. "I don't know," she finally settles on.
"What's wrong, Marinette? You can tell me anything," he says as he places a comforting hand on her shoulder. It's such an Adrien thing to do that it makes her fill with guilt.
She doesn't expect the tears that begin to form in her eyes. "Something's missing."
"What?" he presses.
She shakes her head again, desperation beginning to build as the days of paranoia and hallucinations finally catch up to her. "I don't know!"
"Think!"
"I'm trying!"
"I need you to remember, Marinette!"
And she's not sure when Adrien's voice merges with the voice in her head, but suddenly she sees tufts of wild blond hair and cocky smirks on rooftops. She hears echoes of carefree laughter and glowing green eyes.
Chat.
"This isn't real," she whispers, pushing Adrien's hand off of her shoulder.
The illusion of Adrien shatters and the entirety of Paris breaks like glass beneath her feet.
When she sees her partner's concerned face looming above her, Ladybug thinks that she's never seen a more beautiful sight in her life.
"Ladybug!" he exclaims, and she has no idea how long she's been out, but if the relief in Chat's tone is anything to go by, she assumes that it's been a while. "Thank God," he says, and clutches her to his chest. "I was so worried. The akuma hit you and I couldn't get to you in time and then you were unconscious and—"
She cuts him off by wrapping her arms tightly around him and burying her face in his chest. She breathes in the smell of him, relishes how he feels solid beneath her fingertips. Right now is not the time to think of the implications of what just happened, of what it meant that she was willing to trade what should have been her perfect reality for Chat Noir's existence in her life. Instead she clings to him and simply revels in the fact that he is here.
"I thought I was going to lose you," he admits, voice more vulnerable than she's used to hearing from her cat.
She can't bring herself to say anything, not that she knows what she would say if she could, and instead chooses to hug him a little tighter. She can hear the akuma in the distance and she knows that she'll have to get up and face it in a few minutes, but she decides she can be selfish for a little while longer.
Right now, there's no place she'd rather be.
A/N. If you were wondering why Chat wasn't included in Mari's perfect reality, it's because she isn't aware that it's something she wants. Basically, the akuma gives you what you think you want, which in Mari's case is all of the above, but deep down she knows she isn't complete with Chat, who is literally her other half. When presented with a reality where Chat doesn't exist, her subconscious just can't allow that, so he seeps through the illusion and is ultimately the only thing that manages to break it.
I had a fluffy alternative to this, which I will probably work on too (?) Idk man. If I do, I'll probably post it as a second chapter here instead of a seperate fic.
Let me know what you think!
-Indy