Addison collapsed in a waiting room chair, leaning back and laying a hand across her forehead. She gave a deep sigh. Her marriage was over. She had come to Seattle and tried to put it back together, but the effort was one-sided. Derek was in love, and not with her. She had been the object of his affection for over eleven years, but now her reign was over. Derek didn't want Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepard anymore . He wanted Meredith Grey.
"Dr. Shepard?" Addison opened her eyes and looked up. Meredith Grey stood over her clad in light blue scrubs and a white lab coat, a stack of gray charts clutched to her chest. "Are you alright?"
Addison brushed away stray strands of copper hair that had escaped her pony tail and straightened up. "Yes, Dr. Grey, I'm fine. I just realized that I've been chasing after a false reality."
Meredith took this as an invitation to sit and have a conversation. "Reality sucks."
"Yes, it does. I came out here to fix something that was too far broken to ever be repaired. Now I've picked up my entire life and moved here for absolutely nothing."
"I'm sorry," said Meredith softly. "You know, about everything."
"It's not your fault," Addison replied. "It was mine. It was Derek's. You didn't know."
Meredith shook her head and looked at her hands. "I didn't. I wouldn't have—"
"I know." Addison placed a gentle hand on Meredith's. "I don't think you're a bad person, Meredith. I think you just got caught up in a situation you had no control over. You're a victim here, too." Addison returned Meredith's hand and stood up. "If you see the other Dr. Shepard, would you tell him I'm looking for him?"
"Of course," Meredith replied.
"Addison?" Derek called into the on-call room. "Meredith said you were looking for me."
"I am," Addison said, sitting up off the bunk bed and straightened out her salmon scrubs. "Derek, we need to talk."
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
"Okay. Let's talk. What do you want to talk about, Addison? The weather? Because I already told you I can't make it stop raining."
"No, Derek, us. I want to talk about us."
"Okay." He sat down next to her and offered a gentle smile. "What about us?"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Addison gazed out of the window before turning back and making eye contact with Derek. "We're over, Derek. You and I both know it."
"Addie…"
"Don't Addie me. Your heart isn't in this anymore."
"You're my wife, Addison."
"That only means so much, Derek. A marriage isn't anything if the love isn't there."
"Addie…"
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
"Look, I started this whole adultery thing that ruined our marriage. Let me be the one to end it."
"Two wrongs don't make a right. I did my share of adultery, too."
"Maybe so, but only after you thought things were over. And I guess they really were. I shouldn't have come. I thought I could fix us but I can't. You're with Meredith now."
"Are you saying our marriage ending is my fault?"
"No, Derek. I'm saying I was stupid to think that I could fix it after I chased you away."
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
"And so that's it? Eleven years and it's over?"
"Trust me, Derek. It's best. You aren't in love with me anymore, you're in love with someone else. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't really want me."
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
"But that's it? You're just giving up on us?"
"We both are. Your heart was never in this, Derek. Your adulteress bitch is telling you to go back to your dirty mistress."
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
"Don't call her a dirty mistress! Don't do this, Addison!" Derek shouted.
Addison gave a sad smile. "You love her. Just love her, Derek. Don't hurt her anymore."
"Don't do this!"
"I don't have a choice, Derek. You do. Love her, Derek."
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
"Addie…"
"I'm not leaving Seattle, Derek. I'm staying here and I'm going to work. I plan on being friends with Meredith and I hope that we can be friends, too." Addison stood up and walked quietly out of the room. As she began to close the door, she turned and said her soon to be ex-husband. "Tell her, Derek."
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Derek stepped into Joe's bar and listened to the jingling of the bells. Heads turned and Derek searched the room hurriedly for Meredith. He spotted her at the bar, seated between Izzie and Cristina. They were watching George throw darts into a target, or more appropriately, the wall. Derek walked over to them and place a hand on Meredith's shoulder. "Mer, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.
The three interns exchanged looks. "Sure," Meredith replied. Derek guided her to a table away from her friends. "What is it?"
"Addison chose you."
"What?"
"Addison chose you. I chose you."
How to save a life
How to save a life