What If – Chapter One
Cate
"Yeah, I was pregnant." Alice's face fell as she processed my news, "Uh, huh, and I lost the baby." I finished. I still couldn't say it without think what if? What if I hadn't lost the baby, what if Ryan and Lux and I would be decorating the spare room in a few months, what if we could be a family?
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry." Alice smiled slightly, I nodded, that kind of thing happened right? It's not like we couldn't try again.
"No it's fine, it's just, well these things they happen." I said, trying to smile, Alice nodded, I knew she understood. "At least I can drink again, huh." I said, trying to make the situation easier. We sat there in an awkward silence for a minute or so, neither one of us touching out drinks.
"Cate, if you need to talk..." Alice suggested reaching out to me.
"No, I don't need to talk; I just need to forget about it." I said; taking a gulp of the red wine I had been nursing. She nodded slowly, sure I needed to talk about it but I couldn't talk to Alice, I needed someone who knew what I was feeling like. On cue the home phone started bleeping.
"Oh my god, it's my doctor, with the test results." I said, looking up from the caller-id to Alice.
"Do you want me to...?" She asked motioning to the door. I shook my head.
"No, its fine I'll only be quick." I said, smiling bravely. The news I got now could crush my world, I didn't want to be alone then. I picked up the receiver and tentatively pressed the call button.
"Hello?" I asked quietly, praying that the caller-id was wrong and it wasn't really my doctor.
"Cate? It's Doctor Sheridan." The woman on the other end of the line said gravely.
"Hi, do you have my test results?" I asked in a monotone.
"Yes I do, and it's good news Cate." I took in a deep breath, in comparison whatever she was about to tell me couldn't really be that good. "The sonogram machine we used today was faulty, after your appointment every sonogram that machine took afterwards came back with the same results." She said brightly.
"So I'm pregnant." I said flatly, looking at the glass of wine in my hand with disdain.
"There is a chance your pregnancy is still progressing. I want you to still come in for the appointment we had booked for tomorrow." The doctor said; I released my grip on the wine glass in my hand, it tumbled to the floor, smashing into a thousand blood red fragments. "Cate? Are you still there?" She asked again.
"Yes, sorry, yeah, tomorrow, see you then." I said bluntly. Alice got up from her chair with my dustpan and brush.
"Honey, are you okay?" She asked slowly. I nodded. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard, had I imagined it?
"Yeah I'm fine, I mean, I think I am, the doctor she said; she said I might still have this baby." I whispered, my hand went involuntarily to my stomach.
"Oh my god, honey that's great news." Alice laughed, throwing her arms around me as the pool of wine expanded around us.
"Do you need to make another appointment?" The receptionist asked, I nodded happily, my baby was still a possibility, as I signed over the medical bill I was confident that Ryan and I could still be a family. I'd not told Ryan yet, I'd let him think I was still coming to the hospital for the same reason, no need to give him false hope. But now I could go home and tell him that we were still having our baby. It was the best feeling in the world.
"Julia, the doctor is ready to see you now." A nurse called out, on instinct I turned around, I watched open-mouthed as a heavily pregnant woman pulled herself up from the waiting chairs.
"Okay thank you." Julia replied. I watched her step forward.
"Oh my god." I whispered, she heard me, her eyes locked on mine and at the same time we both reached up to our stomachs.
"Cate..." She said quietly, she registered what I was doing and looked away, she was ashamed, she had every right to be, she had lied. She was pregnant, and by looks of it, with Ryan's baby.
I pushed open the door to the bar slowly, my family was inside, and they were having a paint fight. I slipped in un-noticed. I stood there and watched for a second as Lux ran about shrieking and laughing, a small smile spreading across my lips. She was wearing her corn dog sweatshirt, the one we'd got on our 'family road trip'. The guys dived at her with their paint rollers and brushes, she dodged them quickly, a small card in her hand. She's passed Driver's Ed. Pride filled my body as I thought about how well she was doing.
"Cate, hey, how're you doing?" Math called happily from the bar stools. He laughed raising his beer can in the air and clinking his with Jamie's.
"Hey Cate's here." Jamie smiled. I nodded to them both.
The other three stopped running around, they all looked at me expectantly, I registered Ryan walking up to me. My expression fell; I couldn't keep up a fake smile for the world. Lux peered round, trying to see if I was okay.
"We have to talk." I whispered.
A/N: New fic! So Cate is still pregnant and so is Julia! Eek! What do you want Ryan to do? Should he stay with Cate or go to Julia?
Or should this stay as a one-shot?
Anon reviews are accepted, so tell me in your reviews!