Living here in Tokyo-3,
Fighting Angels from afar,
You gotta stop Third Impact,
In your giant robot car.
It appeared to be an average little suburban house in Jersey City, but the sounds emanating from inside belied that. A banshee-like screeching, the word "Coop" over and over again, only gaining in volume as it went on. Down in the basement, the target of the banshee wail, a rotund blonde male was sitting on a couch, hunched over and concentrating on a video game, while in a chair to his left, a redheaded woman mirrored his position, while to his right, on the other side of the couch, a pale young man slouched, engrossed in the conflict on the screen, while offering a running commentary.. Eventually, the screaming from upstairs finally broke through his concentration. "What is it, Ma?"
"I'm going to your sister's place for the weekend. Try to keep the place in one piece, and there's a letter for you."
"Okay, have fun, and smack Skippy for me, thanks." Bringing his full attention back to the screen, he saw the words "Flawless Victory: Player Two" appear. Shaking his head, Coop moaned. "Oh crap, that doesn't count, I was distracted!" "Tough," came the response from the red haired girl sitting in the chair to his left. "She started calling you before you started the fight, if you'd paid a bit more attention, you could have waited."
From his left the third person in the room snickered. "She's right dude. You snoozed, you losed. To a girl."
Your point?" Said the redhead, "I've beaten you twenty three times in a row."
"She's got you there Jamie", laughed Coop.
The pale guy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, laugh it up Kiva. I'm going to beat you up this time."
"As if" came the laughing reply.
Standing up and stretching, Coop yawned. "Well, while Kiva kicks your ass for the twenty fourth time in a row, I'm going to check out the mail. Anybody want anything from the kitchen while I'm up there?"
"Nah"
"We're good" came the replies, as combat was renewed.
Shrugging his shoulders, Coop began climbing the stairs, thinking how a couple of years ago Jamie, the self styled king of slackers and the hard as nails and the former Commander Kiva Andru spent all their time at each other's throats, now it was like two buddies just hanging out. Kind of like him and Jamie. Looking up the letter, he sighed.
"Great, E-Z Pass bill." Opening it up, he looked at it, frowning. "By today? Oh come on, this can't be right." Throwing the letter down on the table, he went to the fridge. Opening the door, he reached in and grabbed a container of milk. Unscrewing the lid, he was met with the foul scent of sour milk. "Oh crap" he muttered. "Screw the cereal. I'll have some beef jerky instead." reaching into the drawer, he pulled out a packet.
Empty.
"Hey who ate the last of the jerky?" he yelled. Kiva's voice came up from the basement. "Sorry Coop, I forgot to tell you I finished it earlier. Yeah! In your face Jamie! 24! 24! 24!" Looking to the skies, Coop moaned. "What else could go wrong today?" Clearly Coop wasn't aware of the whole tempting fate thing.
Picture a line along Coop's line of sight, straight up. Thousands of miles up, into space in fact, in the sort of region of space you'd put something into geosynchronous orbit. The casual observer, or indeed NASA, would look at this area, and see nothing. It didn't mean there was nothing there, it was just hidden. Hidden from our reality, a kind of place between dimensions. NullSpace, if you will. And there was something hidden in this NullSpace. Something big, green and menacing.
And alien.
A couple of miles long, and dotted with a multitude of weapons emplacements, a R'Vannith-class battlecruiser, the pride of the Glorft System Navy, sat serenely in the void. However as one got closer, one could see frantic activity in one of its many launch bays. And if one got even closer, one could almost imagine hearing roaring coming from the bridge. Or was it one's imagination?
"COMMANDER! What is the current status of the Eviscerator?" Said commander closed his eyes momentarily, then opened them as he turned to give his report to the demanding voice. "Progress on the Eviscerator is currently ahead of schedule. I estimate it should be fully operational within the hour, sir."
"Not good enough Commander! I expected it to be ready last night. Do you really want to make me angry?" The commander shrank back, "B-but Sir, it was your estimates that we were follow-" He was cut off by a snarl. "I don't give a damn what you think. If that mech isnt ready within the hour, I'll have your johrbloks. Now get back to work and stop bothering me!"
"Y-yes sir!" As he turned and ran, the commander could only think to himself that Warmaster Gorrath must have gotten out of bed on the right side this morning.
Back on the bridge, Gorrath looked out into the blackness of NullSpace, a feral grin on his face. Before too long he would be avenged. The filthy Earther ape that was the bane of his existence would be crushed by his hand, the Protoype would be back in his possession, and he could finally return in glory to Glorft space.
An hour later, Gorrath began his pre-flight check of the Eviscerator. The commander may have been a spineless Kveltor of a Glorft, but he knew how to follow orders and he knew how to supervide the creation of warmechs to his exact specifications. Looking at the nova cannons, the chainsword and the little surprise he had planned for the fat Earther, Glorath smiled. Something he'd learned from Earth literature, as pathetic as it was, you want to take care of a whale, you use a harpoon. Turning to the commander, Gorrath nodded. "You appear to have done an adequate job, Commander. I'll mount up, you prepare for reversion to realspace in five minutes." Saluting, the commander turned and headed briskly towards the bridge.
Gorrath climbed aboard the mech, strapped himself in, and began the start up sequence. All too soon, he could feel the slight shudder as the battlecruiser re-entered the Earth's orbit. He began mentally adding the time. Two minutes to orbital position, launch, three minutes to the surface of that pathetic mudball, ten minutes for the Earther scum to appear, five minutes to crush him, figure back on board in triumph in an hour.
This was going to be a glorious day.
Fifteen minutes later, Gorrath was thinking to himself "This has been the most inglorious day." as he spun uncontrollably through space in what remained of the Eviscerator's pilot compartment. The surprise he had planned for the Earther ended up causing a chain reaction in the Eviscerator's powerplant. How did the fat idiot figure out how to disable it so quickly? Why did this keep happening to him? His musings were suddenly interrupted by an incoming transmission.
"Sorry for not dragging out the fight like normal, Gorrath, but I'm kind of in a hurry. I need to get pay my EZ-Pass and well, it's more important than you."
Gorrath just looked at Coop's image, defeated. He couldn't even muster up the enthusiasm for the slightest of insults towards his nemesis. He shrugged.
Coop raised his eyebrows. this was something new from Gorrath. Where were the bloodcurdling insults, the threats of doom and retribution. He'd never seen the Glorft so defeated. This was quite disconcerting. Coop decided to try another tack. "You know something Gorrath, you've gotten stale. Stale, boring and totally lacking in new ideas. Why don't you go on a vacation? Do some surfing, hook up with some Glorft chicks, party. Heck, if nothing else you mightn't be as cranky every time I kick your ass!"
To his surprise, Gorrath just looked at him, totally lacking in any emotion, nodded slightly, leaned over, and cut the transmission.
Coop looked at his companions. "Ohhkayyy, that was just weird. I was not expecting that kind of reaction from Ol' Squidhead. Wonder what's gotten into him?"
Jamie snorted. "Maybe he's finally reached his limit. I mean, listening to him cheer after he stuck that harpoon into you, and then those little squawky noises he made when you just ripped the rest of it out from his mech five seconds later, followed by the boom. Talk about having your hopes raised and crushed utterly. Even by your normal Gorrath hope crushing, that was really quick and brutal."
Kiva shook her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think Jamie might be right."
At this Jamie squeaked "I am?" Kiva looked at him, rolling her eyes. "I've never seen Gorrath so... so defeated. It's like he's given up."
Jamie thought about this. "So we've beaten him, and he knows it. What can he do? I mean, he's a thousand years behind his time, just like you. What if he goes back home, and finds the Glorft are far less advanced than now? What'll he do?"
"If he does go back - from the records I saw back in my own time - the Glorft weren't even in space at this point. He'll be a long time trying to get them up to his technology level." Kiva replied.
Coop looked at them. "Hmph, if that's the case, things are going to get a lot quieter and boring round here. I mean, if-"
"Speaking of boring," Jamie interrupted, "Aren't you supposed to be paying off the EZ-Pass? They do close early on Saturdays."
Coop looked at his watch. "Ah relax, we got twenty minutes, and we're already in Newark, and traffic ain't an issue, and parking's easy. It'll be quick, in and out, and we'll have the rest of the afternoon for Kiva to make it 25, 26 and 27 and so on." This elicited an amused snort from Kiva, and an outraged complaint from Jamie.
Five minutes later, Megas was standing on McCarter Highway, scratching its head in synchronicity with its owner. "This... is a problem. Where the hell's the office?" Coop asked, looking at a considerable debris field.
Kiva was the first to reply. "You probably smashed it at some point." Jamie laughed. "Yeah, wonder what alien you threw on it?"
Looking round the wreckage, Coop grimaced. "Aw hell, Zap's Car Wash is gone too. If I find out who did it, I'm gonna smash them." prompting Kiva and Jamie to just look at each other and roll their eyes.
"So what are you going to do now? You've got less than fifteen minutes. then what?"
Jamie asked. "You just wait til Monday, pay it then."
Coop shook his head. "No way man, if I don't pay on time, I get hit with a penalty. And I'm not giving those crooks one red cent more. They have to have another office somewhere. But where?"
"Camden."
Coop turned round. "How'd you know that, Kiva?"
Kiva pointed down to the sign. "Temporarily closed for unexpected repairs. Please visit our other office at Camden if making payments. Also, if you have a giant robot, please park with more consideration in future."
"Camden? But that's down at the ass end of the state." Jamie pointed out. "There is no way in hell we can make it in time."
Coop sat there for a second, thinking. Then a smile slowly grew on his face. Kiva and Jamie tensed. They'd seen that kind of smile before, and it usually meant trouble.
"Oh yes there is. We can teleport there!"
"What" came the wary reply from his companions.
"Remember how I ended up in Evil Me's dimension? Well, I figured if I changed a couple of things, put in like a safety mechanism to stop me going into another dimensions, I could use it to, like, maybe, teleport Megas from one place to another on Earth. Think how cool that would be." At this point, Coop was thinking of Megas, doing all the things Nightcrawler does, while Professor X looked on approvingly.
He was abruptly brought back to Earth by a punch in the shoulder from Kiva. "Are you absolutely crazy? How do you know it's not going to go wrong? How often do these things end up with us in some messed up fight for our lives?"
"Yeah!" added Jamie. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Kiva is right. You're willing to pull a stunt that could end up with our atoms scattered across the galaxy just to save a few dollars?"
"Hey! I'm not that stupid. I ran a couple of tests, and things went okay. It'll be cool. Trust me!" Jamie shook his head. "Sorry Coop, this time I'd like to get out, want to join me Kiva?" "Okay this is truly an historic day, I think Jamie's right about something again."
"Hey!"
Coop intervened before his passengers could start an argument. "Listen, I did a couple of small jumps, things work well. Worse comes to worse, at least I have our home dimension's co-ordinates now, all thanks to Evil Coop, well, Evil Jamie was the one who gave them to me. "
Kiva gave him a look. "Like that's supposed to make us feel better how?"
"Because if we end up in the Evil Us universe, we simply return."
"And what if we end up in a universe that isn't the one populated by our Evil uses?"
Coop thought for a second, shrugged his shoulders. "Uhhh... Ah, don't worry, it'll be fine. Now where exactly is this place?" Bringing up Google Maps, Coop grinned. "Ah, Sixth Street, now all I have to do is just enter the co-ordinates. None of the button mashing that sent me to Evil Me's World, and hit this button, and presto!"
He pressed some buttons, there was a flash of light, and Megas was gone.
...Earth Orbit...
In the meantime, a sullen, and as far as the Commander was concerned, scarily silent Gorrath had been brought back on board. Barely acknowledging anyone as he headed for the bridge, the terrified commander in his wake. Gorrath entered the bridge, went to the main viewscreen, looking down on Earth, and just stood there.
Silent.
After a few minutes, the commander, fearing for his jhorbloks more than ever, caught Gorrath's attention. "Err, Sir, shall I take us back into NullSpace?" Gorrath looked at him in a way the Commander had never seen before. it was as if Gorrath didn't even see him. After what seemed an eternity, Gorrath shook his head. "No."
"But sir."
In a soft tone the Commander had never heard from Gorrath, and prayed he would never hear again, Gorrath continued. "I said no, Commander. In fact, we are leaving this world. We'll return, but not for a while. Set course for Schlegel-56. Immediately."
"S-sir? Schlegel-56? The vacation planet? But why?" The Commander was stunned.
Gorrath looked at him, but for once there was no hostility, no anger, this was totally out of character behaviour for the Warmaster. "It's like this Commander. I'm tired. Tired of losing. Tired of NullSpace. Tired of seeing the same thing day in day out. And I bet the men are tired too. As ridiculous as it may sound, and loathe as I am to give him any sort of credit for it, but the infernal fat monkey was right. We have lost our edge. I'm going to take him up on his advice and take a break." Turning round to the other bridge crew he waved his arm, as his voice started to get louder and louder. "We all need a break, and we're going to get one. We're going to enjoy ourselves on Schlegel-56. And then we're going to come back recharged, thanks to his self-dooming advice, we will crush that pathetic fool, his mudball of a planet, and we will win, and we will return home in triumph and celebrate in the glory of the Glorft." By this point, Gorrath was almost yelling. As he finished, his last words were drowned out by the cheering of the crew.
To his surprise, they were chanting the same thing over again.
His name.
"I understand sir. We've plotted a course,but it will take some months owing to the fact that the hyperdrive has not been functional for some time, and we no longer have the parts to repair it. But we when we arrive at Schelegel-56 we can get some replacement parts, and stock up on some crucial raw materials we've run low on. Bearing in mind their technology will still be well behind what we're used to, I believe we can still jury rig some systems and get it up and running again."
Gorrath nodded. "Very good Commander. Make it so. And then take the men off War Condition-4. We'll no longer be in a combat zone, it's time to go back to normal shifts. I'm going to my quarters. I do not wish to be disturbed for the rest of the day. As you were."
The Commander acknowledged this with an actual heartfelt salute, rather than one of his more fearful ones, and turned to issue the necessary orders, as Gorrath slinked off to his quarters.
...Elsewhere...
A hot sun beamed down upon some empty farmland. All could be heard were some birds. Then with a strange popping sound, a giant blue robot appeared out of nowhere.
"We're here!"
Kiva was the first to reply. "And where is here? This doesn't look like downtown Camden."
"Or uptown Camden." added Jamie.
"Umm, I'm not sure, the map is on the fritz. We can't be too far away though. Just wait til the wi-fi kicks in, and we'll be fine."
"Real encouraging."
"Damn, it's gotten seriously hot all of sudden." exclaimed Coop, "I could do with a cold soda, anyone else want one?"
"Pepsi" said Jamie. Nodding, Coop turned to Kiva, "What about you, Kiva?" "Water will do please."
"Okay, two Pepsis and a water coming right up." as he pressed the button to open the fridge. Pulling out a couple of cans and a bottle, he looked at his companions.
"Anyone else want ice?"
Jamie nodded. "Sure."
Reaching behind him, Coop grabbed a couple of plastic glasses, handed one to Jamie, and began pouring the soda into the glass. Then, holding the glass under a hole, he pressed a button. Only thing was, no ice appeared. There was however, a sound of a panel opening, followed by what sounded suspiciously similar to a missile launch. Sure enough, the gang looked out to see a large projectile flying away from Megas.
"Oh, wonder what that one does" muttered Coop, as if to answer him, the warhead detonated, with an incandescent blue glow rather than the expected fireball. All around them, they watched in silence as power lines sparked and caught fire, pylons twisted under the stress, and collapsed all over the place.
"Oh, That's what that one does again."
Jamie was the next to speak. "Dude. What did you just do?"
"Uhhh... I just meant to get some ice for our sodas and... oh. I guess Evil Me didn't convert this Megas's auxiliary EMP missile launcher to an icemaker like I did." admitted a grimacing Coop. "I should have checked that one out before. My bad. But it's not like there's anyone round here. After all, this is the Pine Barrens, right?"
"The Pine Barrens don't have mountains, do they?" was the reply.
"How would I know?" asked Coop.
"Because it's your home state?" Kiva suggested. "Let me guess, you weren't paying 100% attention during geography class, were you?"
At this point Coop was having another flashback, indeed to that geography class, while Mrs McSweeney was describing the Pine Barrens in all their majestic glory, he was drawing up a proposed paint scheme he'd put on a 1968 Charger.
Spotting a highway, Coop decided to follow it. "That's gotta be the Garden State Parkway, It'll lead us to a city."
"It can't be the Garden State Parkway, never mind mountains, where's the traffic?"
"And not a toll booth to be seen" interjected Jamie. "Which is good, right? especially as we still haven't sorted out the EZ-Pass."
before too long, a city came into view.
"Hey Toto, I don't think we're in Hoboken anymore" mumbled Jamie, looking around at the strange city. "Where's all the suburbs and strip malls, and the Superfund sites?" Kiva, being considerably more observant, studied the highway signs, and came to an educated conclusion.
"I think we're in Japan".
"Japan?" Jamie drawled, "Oh, the land of the cute magical schoolgirls!"
Kiva rolled her eyes, and rolled them even more as Coop began drooling. "Japan? Cool! That means... Kobe beef, Godzilla, awesomest video games... Sweeeeet!"
"It does seem kind of empty, though", Jamie muttered, as in the distance a small plane was flying off, "Where are all the people?"
Looking thoughtful, Kiva debated the possibility, "Maybe they evacuated, but why? Maybe there was a tsunami, or an earthquake... or... Oh no, they must have thought the EMP missile..."
"Or Godzilla!" interrupted Jamie. "Coop, you ready to stomp Godzilla? Or King Ghidorah?"
Coop grinned. "Some big guy in a rubber suit versus the Galactic Combat Championship Federation Champion? Puh-leeeze, this would be a bigger mismatch than Bigfoot versus a Smart car in the State Fair demolition derby!"
Coop, putting his thinking cap on, came up with another theory. "Wait a second! Maybe it's like those towns they built to test nukes on, like the one in that Indiana Jones film!"
"That terrible one with the aliens and crystal skulls?" Kiva said, disbelievingly.
"It wasn't that terrible." Coop retorted.
"YES IT WAS!" was the combined reply of Jamie and Kiva.
Suddenly, something caught Jamie's attention. "Do you see that? Something's moving in that lake! It's... oh crap..." he trailed off, as a giant black spiderlike thing crept through the lake. Jamie remembered seeing something very similar back in Jersey, and what happened afterwards - the think smog, the lack of sunshine, the mini nuclear winter that followed.
Kiva looked and she remembered it too. "Oh no, it's the R.E.G.I.S. Five, it must have reactivated, somehow, and with all that sunlight, it'll have no power issues." She muttered.
Coop's stared at it, and his eyes narrowed, "Oh I remember you, Mr Spider Robot that didn't want me to have a megaslushie, and then had the nerve to try and eat my robot. Oh I remember you and your irritating 'I am the ultra new and improved super-duper Regis blah-blah-blah' all the time... not this time pal. No way Jose. This time it's different. This time it's going to be way different."
Knowing his intentions, Kiva started to say "You know, smashing didn't work the last-" only to be cut off by "I'M GOING TO SMASH YOU TIL YOU ARE SMASHED TO A GREASY SPOT, YOU EVIL MEGASLUSHIE DESTROYING CREEP!"
"COOP!" snarled Kiva, giving him a slap to the back of his head, "SMASHING DOESN'T WORK! REMEMBER? NO SMASHING!"
Suitably chastened, Coop didn't even dare to suggest that they try just a little bit of smashing.
Meanwhile, R.E.G.I.S. continued walking away from them through the city, giving no indication of even noticing them. "What the hell is going on? After the beatdown I put him through last time, he's ignoring me?" Coop muttered in disbelief, "Who the hell does he think he is?"
...a few miles away, underground...
In a city without electricity, three schoolchildren were walking through a darkened corridor. Two girls and a boy. "Are you sure this is the right way? the boy asked.
"Yes, I'm sure! If we can get past this point, we'll be there!" the first girl, a redhead, informed him, in a supercilious voice. The boy responds with a weary "Haven't I heard that four times already?"
Bad move. The girl proceeded to stop, and turn to him. "Picky! you always focus on the most insubstantial titbits!" As she prepared to launch into yet another of her tirades, the third girl, with blue hair, spoke.
"Silence, please."
The redhead turned to her, with a scornful "What now, Wondergirl?"
"A man's voice" was the reply, silencing the redhead.
Sure enough in the distance, a man's voice could be heard, if a little unitelligible, they recognised the voice.
"That's Hyuga!" exclaimed the boy and the redhead. They tried to get his attention, but as he neared, they could hear what he was saying.
"An Angel is approaching! Repeat! An Angel is approaching!"
The redhead and the boy were shocked. "An Angel?"
The blue haired girl stated matter-of-factly, "We can't waste any more time. Let's take a short cut."
The redhead, not to give up the initiative yelled, "Hey! I'm the leader! Don't take any initiatives without my permission! Now where is this shortcut?"
And off they went, through various ventilation ducts and access corridors. After a while, they come to a door, the redhead opened it, just in time to see what appeared to be a black spike, as it hammered into the ground right in front of her, followed by a black body with eyes, many eyes, staring at her, as it walked past. She got up, swung the door shut, and turned to her companions.
"Well, we've visually identified the Angel's presence. Now, we know we have to hurry."
And off they went to their destination.
Had she waited a few seconds longer, she would have seen a strange blue robot heading in her direction...
... Back on the surface...
Megas had strolled up close to where R.E.G.I.S. had stopped, and now appeared to be squatting over a spot.
"What's it doing now?" Jamie questioned.
"Why do you keep asking me that?" Kiva replied, staring daggers at Jamie. "I know as much as you do. It's just sitting there".
"I'm going in for a closer look." Coop declared. Something's not right about this. I mean, the last time, he busted up my town, tried to eat my robot, and wouldn't let me have my Megaslushie! Now, look at him. He's just sitting there, ignoring me, not trying to absorb anything, or going on and on and on and on about how's he's the all new Regis Philbin, or something. And when did he get all those eyes?" As he approached, Coop realised what it looked like R.E.G.I.S. was up to. "Something is just...oh man..."
Kiva, looking a little disturbed, muttered, "Is it doing I think what it's doing?"
Jamie, with a grin, looked at Coop, and says, "Coop, I think we've caught Regis Philbin with his pants down!".
A matching grin. "Oh yeahhhh..." was the reply.
R.E.G.I.S., or to use its actual name, Matarael, was busy excreting an extremely corrosive acid to open a path down to the Geo-front, when it could hear a tremendous amount of banging and crashing coming from down below him. Unbeknownst to Matarael, the three schoolchildren from earlier had finally reached their destination, got into some giant robots of their own, and were on their way to attack it, when they encountered the acid. The redhead, one Asuka Langley Soryu, leading as was her way, bore the brunt of the acid, damaging her Evangelion Unit-02, and forcing the EVA pilots into a retreat, as they considered their next tactic. Finally after some discussion a plan was settled on, and they prepared for the right moment to strike
"Here we go! CHARGE!"
As Asuka swung herself up into position, she noticed that sky was visible from the hole in the roof of the shaft, and the flow of acid had stopped. While the implications of this began to sink in, the other two children, Rei Ayanami and Shinji Ikari continued with the plan, Rei dropping to the bottom of the shaft and grabbing the gun, and throwing it up to Shinji as he got into position to fire.
"Asuka, get out of the way!" roared Shinji, and opened fire.
Shinji's volley of fire tore up through the hole in the roof, and into the sky, where he expected it to shred Matarael.
But it didn't hit Matarael.
It didn't hit Matarael, because at this point, Matarael was already a couple of miles away, flying end over end through the air, wondering what the HELL had just happened, and feeling like someone had just kicked it right in the...
"AND THE KICK IS GOOOOOOD!" screamed Jamie, as Megas sprinted to where Matarael had crashed, rolled over a few times, and now lay there curled up in a ball, twitching violently.
"What? I didn't smash him, so what's the problem?" Coop smirked, cutting off any smashing-related comment from a frowning Kiva.
"You might want to look at Megas's foot." came the reply.
Looking down, Coop could see that paint had been stripped off, where he'd kicked Matarael.
"What the hell? How the hell did that happen? I just waxed that yesterday!" he yelled.
"It appears to have some sort of acid for blood, or that's maybe that's what it was excreting." Kiva mused.
"Acid for blood? What, do we have to worry about facehuggers now?" Jamie at this point was scanning round nervously. "I mean, wasn't Regis Philbin some sort of deranged robot, not an Alien?"
"Correct", Kiva admitted, "Whatever this thing is, it isn't the R.E.G.I.S. Five, but I don't know what it is".
Coop, with a smirk, said "We might not know what it is, but we know what we can do to it."
Kiva, feeling she knew what the answer was already, yet still felt she had to ask what he had in mind.
"We're going to smash it."
Kiva shook her head, as she knew that was what Coop had in mind. "Don't you think that's a bad idea? It has acid for blood, you really want to get close to it?
"But, but..."
Kiva then played her trump card "Think of the paintwork."
Conceding her point, Coop came to a decision, "Okay, we could simply hit it with some missiles, but why take chances, right?" as he hit the Even More Missiles button. Matarael didn't stand a chance. Dozens of missiles came spewing out from the blue thing that had so callously mistreated it, and still dazed, was unable to bring up its AT-Field in time, before the missiles impact and detonation.
Matarael's last thought was something along the lines of "This blows chu-" before being blown into lots of little chunks.
Back on Megas, Coop high fived Jamie. "That was pretty easy."
"Don't you think it was a little too easy? When was the last time we beat someone that easy without them making a comeback?" cautioned Kiva.
"She's right, dude." Jamie acknowledged.
Coop nodded. "Okay, we'll make sure." Looking round him, he saw something and had an idea. "Oh yeah, we'll make sure, and we'll have a smashing time while doing it."
Kiva just groaned.
Back in the city, the three Evangelions had reached the surface, but their target was nowhere to be found. Asuka quickly decided their next course of action, "Okay, since we still have no word from Misato or the bridge bunnies, we'll split up and search. I'll go this way, Baka, you go that way, and Wondergirl, you take that area. If either of you two find it, let us know, and do not engage until the rest of us get there. if I find it, I'll let you know after I've destroyed it. Now get going!"
Shaking his head, Shinji moved out in the direction he was ordered. As he crested a rise, he could see something blue moving in the distance, so he headed in that direction. As he approached, he realised it was bigger than anything the JSSDF had, and appeared to be moving up and down slightly. Puzzled, as he knew there wasn't supposed to be anyone or anything in the area apart from the Angel, he moved in closer. He then saw what looked like a robot making some strange movements or something. it appeared to be lifting a shipping container up and smashing it down repeatedly, on something small and... waitasec... was that..?
All Shinji could say was "Umm..."
Almost as soon as he said it, Asuka's face flickered onto his screen. "What is it? Have you spotted it? Where is it? And don't even think about attacking it on your own or else I'll..."
Rei's image then appeared. "Pilot Soryu, would you refrain from your ministrations and allow Pilot Ikari to actually inform us of his situation?"
"Don't you tell me what to do Wondergirl! Don't you ever presume to tell me what I should and shouldn't do!"
"I was simply..."
Mesmerised by the sight in front of him, Shinji had begun to tune out the two voices which were staring to give him a headache, when the blue robot turned towards him. All he could think was "Did Misato park that car on top of it?"