A/N: I don't know what to think of this. But I honestly love this show. But I honestly think everyone's out of character and I don't know.
Words: 1102.
Pairing: Tate Langdon and Violet Harmon.
Date Written On: November 21-22, 2011.
once i ran to you,
now i run from you,
this tainted love you've given.
He remembers Constance telling him someone new was coming live in the house. He remembers her telling him that the owners were Ben and Vivien Harmon, and Ben was a doctor that could help all his dreams go away. He remembers being told to meet him in his office at a certain time.
He remembers sitting on the couch, cross-legged, explaining what a filthy goddamn world we all live in. He remembers Dr. Harmon sitting on the chair, watching him intently. He remembers seeing a bloody version of himself with short hair—for some reason, that had been appearing a lot. He remembers his session ending, and he remembers walking out the door of the room. He remembers going explore a little.
He remembers opening the bathroom door. He remembers leaning against the frame, watching some girl with light brown hair lean over a sink. He remembers seeing little droplets of blood fall onto the sink. He remembers telling her that she'd have to cut upward if she wanted to kill herself.
He remembers watching her watch him in the sessions with her dad. He remembers sitting on the floor, discussing when and why they cut themselves. (I did this one right after my dad left. I was ten, I think.) He remembers her complaining about Westfield and her mom's miscarriage and her dad's infidelity. He remembers her going to change a song on her music thing, and he remembers her smiling when he asked if she had any Kurt Cobain. He remembers her dad walking in and kicking him out.
He remembers her complaining about some high school asshole named Leah. He remembers the voices in his head egging him on. He remembers telling her that short of killing her, there was on thing to do—scare her absolutely shitless.
He remembers her running away from him after he scared the hell out of Leah. (I thought you weren't afraid of anything!)
He remembers watching her sleep. He remembers the way she'd lie there quietly, her mouth moving sometimes, her hair covering half of her face. He remembers staring at her, waiting for her to wake up and scream at him. He remembers waiting until Dr. Harmon woke up to actually leave her room.
He remembers jumping out at her in the rubber suit, and he remembers her jumping a little, trying to bite the hand that was covering her mouth. (I scared you. No you didn't. Where did you get this thing, my dad threw it out? Finders keepers.) He remembers kissing her. He remembers telling her about Charles, and her asking about a real date. He remembers Halloween was coming up.
He remembers finding her a rose, and grabbing some paint from the basement. He remembers painting it black, then giving it to her. He remembers running around the beach while she talked on her phone. He remembers rejecting her offer on sex.
He remembers running from the Dead Breakfast Club. He remembers them circling him, yelling things at him he didn't know about. He remembers the one in the cheerleading uniform talk about how she should have been married with kids, and about how they'd all be in their 30s. He remembers her begging him to tell him what he did. (I'm sorry, I don't know you.)
He remembers Violet ignoring him, looking away when he came into her room while she was doing homework. He remembers her sitting straight, not looking at him ever. He remembers the only time he saw her face in a peaceful way was when she was sleeping, off in some other world.
He remembers waiting until she left for a while. He remembers going into her room, scratching out Taint and putting the three words he never thought he'd say and mean. He remembers putting on her iPod thing, and hoping it to fall on some of her favorite music. He remembers hearing the door slam. He remembers looking at I Love You one last time before leaving the room.
He remembers walking into the room, hoping to find her waiting for him, his hands clutching his pockets. He remembers seeing her laying on the bed, a pill bottle completely empty next to her. He remembers seeing her usual pale body even paler. He remembers shoving her onto the floor, tears already running down his face. He remembers grabbing her arm and calling out for help. He remembers dragging her my her arm to the bathroom. (Don't you die on me! Don't you die on me, Violet!) He remembers pulling he into the tub with him, turning on the cold water. (VIOLET!) He remembers shoving his fingers down her throat, and he remembers hearing her start gagging, and he remembers the disgusting, warm sensation of puke cover his fingers as he clutched her to him. He remembers her look at him and start crying. He remembers stroking her wet hair. (It's okay, shh.)
He remembers her on her bed, staring intently at a book about birds. (I like birds too. Why do you like them? 'Cause they can fly away when things get too crazy, I guess.) He remembers asking if she was going to tell her parents about the pills. He remembers her explain that they think she's depressed. He remembers asking her. (Are you? I'm sad. Me too.)
He remembers telling her something's changed. (Something's changed in you. Toward me. You're distant, cold. I don't know what I've done, but I'll leave you alone from now on if that's what you want. Is that what you want? You know why I'd leave you alone? 'Cause I care about your feelings more than mine. I love you. There, I said it. Not just on some chalkboard. I would never let anybody or anything hurt you. I've never felt that way about anyone.) He remembers her sit up a little, and telling him to lie down with her. He remembers crawling on the bed carefully, and he remembers her arms wrap around him. He remembers feeling tired. He remembers both of them falling asleep, her hand in his.
He remembers it being a few days later. He remembers seeing her cut herself again. He remembers yelling at her to stop. He remembers her promising she'd quit. He remembers talking to her about the better place. He remembers her asking if there wasn't one for him. (Ever since you've got here, this is the better place.)
He remembers being told to watch after her.
He remembers promising himself he would.