Fool's Gold
I don't own Ghost Hunt. This is my birthday gift to gold_dusted on livejournal. Happy birthday! Belated but better than not at all, right? Make that very, very late. If you get the Labyrinth quote you're doing good. ^_^ *grumbles* I'm blaming part of this on Down With Love, the Taiwanese Drama I've been watching recently.
The Hierophant—A symbol of traditional authority and influence. He's the head of a hierarchy, determined to maintain his religious and cultural traditions. He is card five in the Major Arcana—The Writer's Tarot.
Mai's heart shattered just like the glass that slipped from her nerveless fingers. Perhaps she'd heard wrong. No, she thought dully. She hadn't misheard anything. He was breaking up with her. All the time they'd been together and he was ending it. Hadn't he just proposed to her the other day? Weren't they planning a wedding? Hadn't they picked out a date? She watched him lay the copy of her keys on her dingy counter and saw his mouth move, but she couldn't hear—it felt like someone had stuffed ear plugs into her ears. The diamond on her finger seemed so heavy, she thought focusing on it. All at once sound returned—like plugs had been removed.
"Mai!"
She blinked to find Naru glaring at her reprovingly. Why did he have the right to glare again?
"Pay attention!" he snapped. "As I was saying, seeing as we both provided funds, I'll take your receipts and see to it that you're refunded every penny."
Her throat constricted. He was back to treating her like a child—how he'd treated her before they'd started to see each other socially. At least he hadn't demanded tea—yet, that was.
"Okay," she said lifelessly. Okay? It sounded stupid. But what else could she say?
"Take a few days if you must. But I want you in the office at nine sharp Monday morning—earlier if you can manage it, but no later than nine." He stalked over to the door of her little apartment; pulling it open, he looked back at her, his features softening briefly. "I'm sorry, Mai—Taniyama-san. But there was no way it could have worked. Surely you know this, too. Be sure to lock the door behind me."
She watched until the door closed, blocking him from sight completely. Her legs refused to hold her up any longer and she landed on the floor, barely feeling the glass as it cut into her skin. Mai didn't know how long she sat there, in desolation. She barely registered Ayako flying in to her apartment and helping her up. It had to be evening, right? Did she have an appointment with Ayako? She couldn't quite remember—or think through the fog enveloping her brain. The priestess pulled the broken, former bride up and shrieked about the bloody glass shards. Her strident voice knocked Mai back for a bit.
"Ayako," she said quietly.
"Yeah, yeah, shut up and meet me in your bathroom. I'll examine your wounds and dress them." She surveyed the lifeless girl and sighed. Her face softened. "I really must care about you to do that, ne?"
"But…" She looked down at shards that littered the floor. "I think I broke a glass?"
"Blame it on Naru; it's easier. Never mind. I'll clean it up later; you come first. Bathroom, now, hustle."
…
Ayako settled herself into a chair she'd grabbed from the kitchen and prepared herself for a long haul. She would never tell Mai, but Naru had called her cell directly after he left her apartment and told her what had happened. She was positive that everyone, including Naru heard her biting comments about what he'd said. Still she'd hurried over to Mai's apartment and found the shattered girl sitting in broken glass. She observed Mai from where she sat. The young lady's breathing was even and deep—the sleeping pills that the priestess had forced her to take. Hopefully, the rest would do her good. In the weak lamplight, Ayako looked around Mai's room; it hadn't changed much. That thought caused a smile to tug at her lips. There were a large number of trinkets that were scattered around the room—mostly given to her by clients for various reasons.
To her side were a number of framed pictures crowding a small night table. Leaning forward, the priestess reeled in shock. Mai still had these? She'd been certain that Naru would make the brunette discard them. Perhaps he had and she'd simply hid them—apparently, Naru never stepped foot inside her bedroom. She picked up one of her and Mai and looked at it fondly. It'd been taken right after the Yoshimi case—a case that still gave her chills when she thought about it. Outside of Father Toujo's church was a picture of Mai and John; Ayako wondered if Mai ever recalled what had happened when they'd gone to the church. If she had, she'd never said so. Speaking of the sorcerer, there was a picture of him with Mai. Curious. Her brow furrowed. When had that been taken? She glanced at the sleeping girl surreptitiously, making sure that she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.
Satisfied, the priestess picked up the frame and popped the backing off, gently sliding the photo from its protective covering. The setting of the photograph was unfamiliar to her. Ignoring that, she turned the picture over. A date was written in neat characters, July third, along with an English message: Remember me. Her brows shot up in surprise and she stared at those words, before whipping the picture around and staring it. Unfamiliar setting, Mai was dressed in a casually nice outfit; Lin had discarded the tie and vest and exchanged the suit jacket for a more casual sport blazer. And he had his arm around the petite brunette's waist; he had a small smile on his face, matching Mai's wider one. Slowly, thoughtfully, she turned the photo again. Did that mean that Lin had feelings for Mai? There were characters written beneath the English words, but try as she might, she couldn't make heads or tails of them. She stopped trying and replaced the picture in its frame and set it back on the crowded night table, knocking the object that had been in her path off.
The young woman stirred at the sound and her eyelids fluttered. Ayako waited with bated breath to be caught snooping. But Mai simply turned and went right on sleeping. Ayako bent to retrieve the object she'd dislodged. Why, it looked almost like a deck of cards! It was, she realized, but they weren't the normal playing cards. The box was too big; she shook the cards from their cardboard imprisonment—the cards were too long to be a normal deck. Tarot cards, she realized. They were Tarot cards. When had Mai started to learn the Tarot? Glancing back at the girl, she shrugged and shuffled the cards as quietly as she was able to. Putting on her best 'I am psychic face' she intoned quietly to her imaginary customer, "I will now read your future."
She flipped the first card and showed it to her imaginary client. "The Hierophant. You know what it means. Thus, you must go and do."
Grinning like a loon, Ayako turned the card to herself and peered at it. Truthfully, she didn't know what the card stood for. Shrugging, she put the card back and replaced the deck in its case before returning it to the night table.
…
Light, soft and warm, embraced her child body, flooding it with comfort and penetrating her eyelids. She opened her eyes slowly and peered around owlishly. Mai had no idea where she was. A cave, perhaps? Was she going to witness the same ceremony that she had from the Yoshimi case? No, the cave didn't have that same feeling; the feeling of being neither good nor evil. Everything solidified around her and she realized that she was in a room. A very strange room. Created from hewn stone, two doors sat, one at each end that looked out of place—very out of place. A stone room with doors of wood with normal knobs to open and close it. Sitting in the middle between both doors was a chair resting on a raised dais. There was a person sitting in that chair holding some sort of scepter. She moved closer to the fire pit directly in the middle of the room. She could see him a little better now.
He—assuming it was a man—wore an elaborate robe of red; his face was obscured by a bull mask and he seemed to be listening to the two at his feet as they debated something. Every now and again, he would interrupt them to ask them a question or state a fact that would send them into a thoughtful reprieve. Mai titled her head to the side. There was something undeniably familiar about the scene, but she couldn't place what. She shook her head and moved closer to the flames that leaped merrily in the pit. She leaned forward as far as she dared and peered into the crackling, undulating flames—there was something in those flames…
She reeled away from the fire pit in shock and looked around frantically for something, anything to put the flames out. There were lizards in there!
"They're Salamanders—no need to worry. They'll be most upset if you put the fire out."
She whirled around in shock. The man from the chair stood behind her now, watching her with what she could have sworn was an amused expression.
"Sorry," she muttered, her face beet red. "I didn't know. I just…" She lifted her hands in supplication. "I panicked."
"Understandable. It begs the question, does it not? Fire is such a destructive element. How can anything live inside it? And yet, Salamanders do."
He's was right, she knew. And she also knew that she had no answer. There were many things that could not be and yet were.
"Curiosity is not a sin, my dear. Curiosity is what brings about change. And change is a necessity." He took her hand in his—such a large hand, with long, tapered fingers—she knew that hand, didn't she? She didn't have the chance to think about it. "Come," he said imperiously, leading her to the throne. "It is time for a lesson."
Mai hadn't taken notice of what she was wearing when the dream—if it could be called that—began, but whatever she'd been wearing suddenly changed. She was now wearing a robe like the other two, but it was a combination of both. Down the left half were red roses; down the right, the white lilies. She shook her head.
"Thanks, but no thanks; I don't have time for a lesson. I need to leave."
"I see. Then which way?"
Mai looked towards each door, then back. "Which door leads out?"
His mouth quirked into a smile. "You tell me."
"How the hell should I know?"
"Then you're not ready to leave."
"What? Of course I am!"
"Then which way?" Which way do you want to go? The unspoken question hung in the air between them, heavy and oppressive.
"I don't know!" she cried, fisting her hands in her hair in frustration. Panic clawed at the back of her throat violently. "If you'd just tell me—"
"And if I did and neither was correct, what then?" he asked, his voice a whiplash, cutting through her rising hysteria.
She stopped dead and regarded him with surprise. This was so familiar…
He continued, "Don't assume that either door actually leads to a way out. Assumptions are fancy guess work and aren't always correct."
"Must I play a game?" she asked bitterly.
"Game? This is no game, my dear. I'm not lying. You will know the way out when you're ready to leave—not before."
"Who are you?" she asked.
"I am a teacher."
She stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. At her wits end of what to do, she decided to play along with his game. "Why am I here, teacher?"
He smiled as if to say he liked her attitude. He reclined in the throne and peered at her through the mask. "To learn; to grow; to understand. If you continue to allow it, you'll be bound to the past, never moving on to a future."
"I had a future," she remarked sadly.
"Did you? How can you be so sure?"
"This," she told him, showing off the engagement that seemed dead and lifeless on her finger.
He waved that away. "A trinket—something given to you by the man you wanted to love, not the man who you love; or loves you back," he said, looking at her meaningfully and dismissing the ring.
"How dare you! It's not a trinket!"
"Then what is it?" His eyes glittered, challenging her and Mai felt her blood start to boil.
"It's a symbol!" she snarled, visibly restraining herself from charging over to him and pummeling the masked figure. "It means he wants to marry me!"
Marry her? Her prepared tirade stopped cold when that one thought invaded her brain. Hadn't he just broken off their engagement? She looked down at the diamond sadly. It wasn't a symbol any longer—it was a trinket, just as he'd said. A broken promise that hadn't meant anything after all. She'd assumed that Naru had wanted to marry her. Assumed that he'd loved her for as long as she'd loved him—just hadn't been able to show it. Hadn't the strange man said that assumptions were fancy guess work at best? What if she'd been wrong? It had been her who thought these things. What about him? Obviously he didn't want to marry her, stating that she'd become the victim if they did. Victim of what?
Heartbreak.
Naru wasn't violent person, but he sure was good at hurting people, even without meaning to, and he was cold. It hurt to realize that he hadn't proposed because he'd loved her, but because she'd expected it. She took the ring off and stared at it. "Did he ever love me?" she asked, looking up at the throne.
"You tell me."
She stomped her foot. This was infuriating! Why couldn't he just answer her?
"What would you learn if I did? You forget, my dear, that I am a teacher, a mage." He paused and gazed at her meaningfully—as if he was trying to tell her something. "A sorcerer; I am not going to spoon-feed you. Originally, lessons were learned by the student because the Master made the student think. So put your brain to use."
Mai tilted her head to the side as the eerie familiarity returned. She couldn't put her finger on, however. She frowned and thought about her inquiry. Maybe he had—just not the way she, herself, had assumed.
"He probably did," she said sadly. "Our views on love were simply different. I expected him to love me; I expected him to propose. And he did because of that expectation." She covered her eyes to hide the tears sliding down her cheeks. "Everyone expected us to get together at some point," she said.
"Everyone?"
Her brow furrowed. "Except Lin, though. Don't ask me why."
"No," he murmured thoughtfully. "We'll come back to that question later. Why did you want to marry this Naru?"
Her face clouded with confusion. "I'd loved him for so long. He was very handsome—nothing compared to Lin of course, but he was easy on the eyes. And once a person got past his robotic demeanor and demanding attitude, he really was a good person." She shrugged. "I thought a good person would make a good husband." But Lin-san would have made a good husband, too.
The masked mage settled back into his chair. "But would he have made you happy?"
Not truly happy, she realized. Given enough time, he might have been able to make her happy in a sense. "In time maybe and only in a semblance."
"Do you think he would have made a good husband or father?"
She tried very hard to imagine him as a father. It depressed her that she couldn't. What would he give to a child? "I think he would have been a good provider," she said at last.
The mage simply titled his head to the side and waited. She hadn't answered the entire question, she knew.
"He… in my mind I would have convinced myself that he would have been a good husband. But as time went on, I would start to see that this wasn't true. A good provider doesn't always make a good husband; he probably wouldn't have made a good father, either."
"Did you truly love him?"
"I did," Mai said honestly. And she had. But she was beginning to understand that love was a multi-faceted and there was more than romantic love.
"But?" he asked, catching the pensive look on her face.
"But I don't think I ever understood that love wasn't always romantic."
The masked man tilted his head and gazed at her. Resting his staff against the chair, he made a simple, but elegant movement with his hand, producing a picture from her nightstand. "How does this one feel about you?" he queried, showing it to her.
Instantly, a blush blossomed and spread over her face. "I don't know," she whispered. "All I know is he refused to say anything about the engagement; if he didn't ignore it, he changed the subject when it came up."
Hurt, she realized, thinking of the austere sorcerer. "He was hurt by it," she whispered, closing her eyes as if she could block the pain he felt by it. "He gave me the ability to believe in myself—and I…" She shook her head. "I'm a fool."
"He's worthy of you, you know," he said, looking at the picture again before banishing it.
It wasn't a question; it was a statement. As if she didn't know that. She knew that Lin was worthy of her, but the mage hadn't said that she was worthy of him. She glared at him. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't know that I'm not worthy of him? But that doesn't mean that I don't love him—" She broke off and covered her mouth, surprised. All the puzzle pieces fell were starting to fall into line. She was a bigger fool than she'd originally realized.
"Then… knowing this, what will you do with this knowledge?"
Mai blinked and stared at him. All the pieces finally fell into place. She knew why he was so familiar to her; why this scene was so familiar. That's right, she told herself. "You… you're the Hierophant, aren't you?"
She had the impression that he beamed at her. "Well done!"
"Huh. I wouldn't have chosen you as a conciliator, no offense intended."
He chuckled. "None taken. But it's one thing to learn and another to understand. The question is, is do you understand."
She smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. If anything it was an ironic one. "I do. I was clinging to a dream that never fully started—never could be. I think that I was just afraid to admit what my heart already knew, so I buried myself in wedding plans." And hurt Naru, Lin, and more importantly myself. I was too afraid to admit that my heart belonged to Lin—whom I steadily fell in love with as the years passed; I don't think I even knew how much I loved him until now. "I always told myself that he was way out of my league," she told the Hierophant, her tone musing.
Her eyes were drawn to the diamond sitting on her finger—that cold, lifeless rock that was nothing more than a sham. Naru knew himself and her better than she did. That was disturbing.
"The Hierophant stands for values that the human race holds true," the mage intoned from behind her.
She whirled, unable to understand how he did that. One minute in his lofty throne and the next standing behind her. But that was the power of being magical, wasn't it?
"Like The Magician and The High Priestess, he represents wisdom. But The Magician deals with the wisdom found in his craft and its use or misuse; The High Priestess represents the wisdom found in the arcane—none but her knows what secrets her scroll contains or what lies behind the curtain behind her. But The Hierophant represents wisdom that is practical and down to earth. There was nothing unexpected about what happened. You know that."
"I know. I just wish it had happened sooner."
"Ah, well, that's between you and the boy. Choose a key," he invited.
Mai looked at them carefully. Both of them went to a door where the acolytes stood. She also knew that choosing a key meant that she wasn't ready to leave. Instead, she walked up the steps to the dais and the chair upon it. She turned back to the mage. "Choosing a key means I'm not ready to leave. So let them choose," she said, motioning to the two students. "I know I have a lot to learn, but this is neither the time nor the place."
She lowered herself into the chair and sat back fully, gazing down at him. And in that instance she knew she'd passed his test. The mage reached up and removed his mask. Her heart constricted painfully in her chest; Lin's face beamed at her.
"Well done," he said, as the dream began to fade. "Well done, indeed."
The Hierophant and his acolytes disappeared first; the stone walls began to fragment themselves. Soon it was just Mai, the fire pit, and the Salamanders. She felt tears begin to gather when even that began to wither away. Just before it disappeared completely, a lone Salamander leaped out of the fire and scampered over to her. When it reached her, it sprang onto her robe and scurried up and onto her outstretched hand. It turned back to her, giving her a beady eyed stare before chittering, taking a breath, and belching out a cloud of flames that rushed into her, filling her with strength and courage; it also burned away what remained of the sleeping pills that Ayako forced her to take. In this world of magic , she knew exactly what to do with the fire the Salamander gave her. The lizard stared at her as if to say 'Then go do it already!'
She chuckled and allowed herself to wake up.
…
Mai opened the door to S.P.R. and peeked in. The common room was empty; the coast was clear. She took a deep breath: it was now or never. She removed the ring and marched into Naru's office. When he looked up and saw her, he froze. It wasn't often she saw him at a loss for words. And she intended this once to keep it that way. Before he could utter a word, she plunked the ring and its accompanying box down in front of him.
"Give it to the right person this time, you idiot," she commanded. Turning on her heel, she left his office, closing the door.
She looked at the door that was closed from the common room and prayed that her new found courage held; this was the trickier part. She took a few moments to indulge in wringing her hands before she dropped them and marched into Lin's office.
"Yes, Naru?" he asked, without looking up.
Her brow crinkled. His Shiki hadn't told him that it wasn't Naru? When she said nothing he finally looked up. His expression had been annoyed—at the interruption?—she didn't know, but that vanished the moment he saw her.
"Mai!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" he asked, half rising from his chair before carefully sitting back down.
"I think I still work here," she said, a small smile tugging her lips.
"You do," he said slowly. "You know that. But…" He gestured to her and trailed off.
She held up her left hand to show him. "It's true; he broke up with me."
Lin scoffed and shook his head. He muttered something under his breath that she was sure was a dialect of Chinese. "Are you all right?" he asked, looking at her.
She smiled brightly. "I am! I had a really good dream last night."
"Did you?" he asked, his voice bemused. He couldn't imagine what this had to do with her chipper mood. Chipper and atypical, he decided. Matsuzaki-san had mentioned that she'd made Mai take some sleeping pills—maybe that was it.
"I did. I met The Hierophant."
He blinked, that wasn't what he had been expecting. He'd been expecting to hear a scheme of how to get Naru back. "The Hierophant," he repeated. "As in, the Tarot Card?"
"The one and only. That's why I'm not in the doldrums right now."
"I see."
"Maybe. I have a request," she said seriously.
He looked at her cautiously but nodded.
"Please don't interrupt me."
Lin stared at her, surprised, but nodded.
She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she began, feeling the tendrils of the flames that gave her strength begin to dissipate. "I really am. I have the feeling that this…farce hurt you more than it did me or Naru. I learned a lot from my time with The Hierophant and it was thanks to him that I have the strength to return the ring to Naru but more importantly, to tell you that I was sorry and…" she trailed off taking a large gulp of air as if she could sustain the magical flame for just a bit longer, "that I love you, too."
He shuddered, but said nothing. The silence stretched long and uncomfortable. Suddenly nervous, Mai nodded. "Well. I've said my part. I'll go make that tea now."
She turned to walk out. Lin stood quickly, making a split second decision. He reached past her and swung the door shut, startling her. She flinched when she found herself caged by his arms and turned back slowly. "Lin?" she asked.
He leaned in close, keeping his hands iron clad against the door and molding. "Going somewhere?" he asked, leaning in closer still.
"Umm… the tea," she said, gesturing helplessly to the common room and beyond it the kitchenette that lay beyond Lin's office door.
He closed the distance between them, fusing his mouth to hers. His hands left the door and cupped her face gently, tipping it back for better access. Her hands had been at her side, unable to respond from shock. This wasn't the perfunctory, avuncular kiss that Naru gave; this… it was… she didn't have words for what it was other than electric. Her hands suddenly had a life of their own, gripping his sleeves, before settling on his forearms. As quickly as the kiss began, he brought it to an end and rested his forehead against hers.
"Wo ai ni," he whispered into her ear; it was the only phrase in Chinese that she understood. Reaching behind her, he opened the door and let her go. "We'll talk later," he told her. "I'll take some tea, if you don't mind."
~Fin.