This is my first attempt at the evolution of the Grissom/Sara romance. Wish me luck. I do not own the characters because if I did, the interlopers would get their butts out of Grissom's office and all would be right with the world. Sigh.

Sara's Story

Jesus, I smell.

I need a shower so badly. I tried to rid myself of the smell of rotting flesh three times at the lab, but I think that all the lemons in the world won't make me feel fresh as a daisy again. God, that sounded like a douche commercial. Good one Sidle. Now you've become a cliche. I am so tired that I could easily crawl into my bed and stay there for a week. I might not even leave to go to the bathroom. But, I'm sure that someone from the lab would call me in to work and I would be forced to hunt them down and shoot them. That'll teach them to mess with a sleepy Sara. Humph.

I fumble with my keys in the early morning darkness of Nevada. The sun hasn't risen yet and it's blissfully cool and crisp. It kind of reminds me of a Massachusetts autumn morning except that I don't have the smell of rotting leaves permeating my nostrils. God, I miss that smell sometimes. I miss raking mounds of leaves and jumping into them like a five year old. My roommate always called me immature when I did that. I called her a bitch. Life was grand. It was so much simpler then. I was free, young, and naive and I liked it that way. That was before I met death face to face daily and watched the dregs of society walk the hallways of my workplace. Before I had to process rape victims and dead children. God, that's the worst part. In my sleep I can still see so many pairs of vacant hollow eyes peering at me. Begging me for help and justice. Sometimes, I want to put an end to it all just so they're screams will stop haunting my dreams.

Sighing, I throw my keys and purse on the kitchen counter and open the refrigerator. My hand gropes blindly for a beer and I curse realizing that I forgot to stop at the store on the way home. "Shit!" I slam the door shut and peer into the darkness of my apartment. It's tiny but cozy. Aww, who the hell am I kidding? It's cold and eerily quiet. It's sad really. Here I am, 35 years old, single, and bitter. I was going to become one of those old maids who lived in a dirty hovel surrounded by twenty mangy cats. How pathetic is my life?

I am going to take that shower now. I drag myself down the hallway to my bedroom and flick on the light.

'POP!' Great. The fucking light bulb blew. Typical. I stumble into the bathroom and strip off my clothes. They land in a rumpled heap in the corner near the toilet. I am too tired to even attempt to hit the hamper today. Besides, no one will see my dirty underwear but me so who gives a shit? I reach over and pull the curtain back and turn the handles of the faucet. Hot. I like it hot. Not hot enough to scald, but hot enough to cut through the grime of Las Vegas. Seeing the steam escaping from the enclosure, I step inside and feel the warmth seep into my skin. As I rub my hands over my aching body my thoughts drift to him. I imagine those brilliant blues eyes gazing lovingly into mine. I remember the feel of his hands on my palm after the explosion. Those rough and calloused fingertips lightly grazing my hand. The softness of his palm when he took my hand in his after my DUI. I imagine that palm on my breast and a soft moan escapes my lips. Oh, Grissom. What would it feel like to have your mouth on my breasts? How would you suckle me? Hard or soft? Would you use your teeth to nip me lightly or would you flick your tongue on my nipple until I cried from pleasure? I run my hand over my breasts until my nipples are hard and my breath starts to rush out of my lungs. I grab the bottle of shampoo and lather my hair relishing in the scent of peaches that bursts forth. Do you like the scent of peaches Grissom? Or vanilla? Maybe you're a classic Suave Strawberry man. I would change the scent if you asked me to. I would do anything to please you.

Rinsing the shampoo, I apply the conditioner and begin to lather up a washcloth with my favorite body wash. The creamy soap flows easily over my skin and helps to protect it from the glaring desert sun. That, and my hope is that he'll notice one day and relish in the feel of my skin against his lips. I rub my breasts again and a moan leaves my throat. My hand goes lower and lower until I reach the aching between my thighs. Oh God! How I would love to have your head between my legs. Your mouth sucking on my clit driving me to the edge of madness. Grissom, why won't you even look at me? My fingers move faster now and I lean my head on the cool tiles of the shower and brace myself for the explosion that is pooling low in my belly. My hips begin to rock with the rhythm of my fingers. I imagine that it's his cock pumping into me. In and out, up and down, circling, flicking, rubbing fierce and frantic. I begin to gasp in small huffs of warm air. I turn my eyes upward to face the hot spray coming from the shower head as I cum. My stifled scream echoing off the shower tiles and mingling with the soapy water circling the drain.

Tired and vaguely satiated, I turn off the water and wipe the tears away that I didn't realize has run down my cheeks. I will never have him. God, I love him. I know that I do. The thought that he will never return my affections rips at my gut and I lay on the bed not bothering to get dressed. I know that I am probably ruining the comforter lying on it in a wet towel, but I don't fucking care.

The remnants of earlier conversations runs through my sleep deprived brain.

"Do you want to sleep with me?"

"Let's have dinner and see what happens."

" Pin me down."

"Since when are you interested in beauty?"

I cry into my lumpy pillow. God dammit! Grissom, I love you! You are such an insufferable bastard not to notice. I came here for you. I stayed here for you. I ache for you. What do I have to do to make you see me as a woman and not a just a collegue? I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling, begging sleep to take me somewhere peaceful when my phone rings.

"Fuck!" I grab it and flip the monster open. "Sidle. What do you mean Nick's missing?"