Everyone knows Swiftpaw's story. A little apprentice, desperate to prove himself, dies trying. His mother, Goldenflower, was traumatized when her son came back mangled and torn, bloodied and dead. This oneshot focuses on that, Goldenflower and Swiftpaw, mother and son relationship. Songfic, song Forgiven by Within Temptation.

Couldn't save you from the startLove you so it hurts my soulCan you forgive me for trying againYour silence makes me hold my breathOh, time has passed you by

Swiftpaw, we all miss you. Ever since the day you joined StarClan, my dreams have been haunted by you, my son, the one not of Tigerstar. I haven't heard from you since the day you left me; are you up there, walking among the stars with your ancestors? Oh please, give me a sign. It pains me to know that you may not be there.

Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the worldOoh, you couldn't face the freedom on your ownHere I am left in silenceYou had always been so excited for your warrior ceremony, always wanting to serve your clan. I tried to always guard you, keep you safe, but…I failed.

You gave up the fight*

You left me behind*

All that stands forgivenYou'll always be mineI know deep insideAll that stands forgiven

I know you never really thought things through; that you would always plunge into something headfirst. But, for once, I just wish you did for this. If you did, would you still be here with me? Or would that have been worthless?

I watched the clouds drifting awayStill the sun can't warm my faceI know it was destined to go wrongYou were looking for the great escapeTo chase your demons away

Frostfur and Mousefur, my two good friends, always told me that I was never the same after that day. I believe them. Mousefur lost her brother to Tigerstar's evil plot also; Frostfur's daughter was the one cat who went with you, and now her pretty face is destroyed, but she still breathes. Did you love her, Swiftpaw? Did you fight for her, and that's why your up there?

Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the worldOoh, you couldn't face the freedom on your ownAnd here I am left in silence

Swiftpaw, I love you. Know this in your heart. I was lost when I found out you died, I really was. I tried to always guard you, keep you safe, but…I failed.

You gave up the fightYou left me behindAll that stands forgivenYou'll always be mineI know deep insideAll that stands forgiven

But I see you in StarClan, sitting with you and watching over the rest of the clans. At least I know that I have two kits in the other clans; Tawnypelt and Brambleclaw. I see you look at Flametail and Dawnpelt, with a happy look in your eyes. You're happy they're your kin, but not Tigerheart. And I understand why this is.

I've been so lost since you've goneWhy not me before youWhy did fate deceive meEverything turned out so wrongWhy did you leave me in silence

What tears at my heart is that you never told me that you would leave. It is a mother's worst nightmare to have their kits go before them to walk among the stars; a nightmare to see their burial ceremony.

You gave up the fightYou left me behindAll that stands forgivenYou'll always be mineI know deep insideAll that stands forgiven

I love you, Swiftpaw. I just wished I could've been the one to watch over you from StarClan, not you to me. I wished that you would've lived, but not in exchange for Brightheart's life. And I knew you wouldn't like that either. I tried to always guard you, keep you safe, but…I failed.

*A/N: The two asterisked sentences, 'You gave up the fight' and 'You left me behind', these sentences really I think make this song more about a lover committing suicide. I chose Swiftpaw because, well, I loved him as a cat, and, see, there aren't' really any suicidal cats (stupid Erin Hunter! But, if there were, Crowfeather comes to my mind first!), so I chose a cat who lost her child before herself. I hope you enjoy, and please R&R! I may do another Songfic too…