Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway!

by AnimegirlHF

If it isn't obvious enough, the Ronins are doing Whose Line is it Anyway! With me as the Host! So c'mon down and have some fun! Important note in my profile. Read it please. Chap 2 has been tweaked a bit.

1. Episode 1: The Start of the Show

Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?!

Konnichiwa Minna-san! And welcome to Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?! I will make a series out of this concept! Next installment: Ex-Warlord Whose Line is it Anyway?! And then: Other Characters Whose Line is it Anyway?! And then maybe I'll move onto a different anime, but for now it will be the Ronin Warriors. Since in real life, the show in interactive with the studio audience, I will try to do the same here. Whenever I need suggestions for the audience for the next game, you, the readers, will have to REVIEW to tell me your suggestions! (Hint Hint!) And if you give me a suggestion, you become a member of the audience! So add your internet name to the review or I'll give you a number like Audience Member 63. Now, go on down and read the fun!

Jill: (Pops in) WAIT! YOU FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!!!!!

Helen: Oo Oh yeah. Thank you Jill!

Jill: What are muses for?

Helen: Yes…Contrary to popular belief-

Kento: (Pops in and interrupts) What do you mean POPULAR?!

Helen: ¬¬;; I mean absolutely nothing by it Kento. Now go back backstage! We're going to start soon!

Kento: Oh. (Turns to audience and smiles) Ciao! (Goes backstage while the Kento fans create a swimming pool of drool)

Jill: (Looks at the drool) Ewww…

Helen: Anyways, I DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT OWN RONIN WARRIORS!! Or any other anime peoples that may be mentioned during the conduction of this fan fic. Now on with the show!

Episode 1: The Start of the Show!

(The camera focuses in on a live studio audience, who are cheering and clapping loudly. You'll notice that the Ex-warlords, Talpa, Badamon, Mia, Yulie, Kayura, the Ancient One and even White Blaze are all in the front row. Various other anime people are scattered throughout the audience as well as random fans. The camera moves around the audience and stops, giving you a distance view of the 5 young men sitting in chairs on the stage. A feminine voice begins to speak)

Feminine voice: Konnichiwa Minna-San! And welcome to Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?! Tonight we have "Flare Up Now!" Ryo Sanada!

(Camera zooms in on the first young man, who's wearing a red sweatshirt and blue jeans. He has shoulder length jet-black hair, blue eyes and lightly tanned skin. He manages to give the camera a smile and a wave. Ryo fans in the audience go wild. The voice continues)

Feminine voice: "Super Wave Smasher!" Cye Mouri!  (Camera now zooms in on the second young man wearing a light blue t-shirt and jeans. He has red-brown hair and sea-blue eyes. He smiles shyly, a light blush on his cheeks, and gives the camera a tiny wave. Cye fans practically faint 'cause he looks so damn kawaii when he blushes. Voice continues)

Voice: "Thunder Bolt Cut!" Sage Date!  (Camera switches to third young man, whose blonde hair covers his right eye, but leaves his left violet one visible. He's wearing a forest green sweater and jeans. Hs smiles flirtatiously and winks at the camera. Sage fans DO faint. Voice continues)

Voice: "Iron Rock Crusher!" Kento Rei Faun! (Camera changes focus to the muscular fourth teenager with ash black hair, his trademark headband keeping most of it out of his blue eyes, sparkling with mischief. He's wearing a white t-shirt and brown overalls. He grins hugely at the camera and holds up his right hand in a peace sign. Kento fans begin to scream loudly. Voice continues commentary)

Voice: And "Arrow Shock Wave!" Rowen Hashiba! (Camera goes to last young man, who particularly stands out due to the fact that he has blue hair, with an ineffective blue headband to attempt to keep it our of his midnight blue eyes, one lock of blue falling between them. He's wearing a team jacket (his from the last episode of the TV series), a dark blue t-shirt and jeans. The poor guy looks mortified. He stares at the camera in utter horror until Kento elbows him in the stomach. (Gently though, like when you nudge someone to get their attention) Rowen jumps, looks questioningly at Kento, who points to the camera, then looks at the camera and somehow manages a shaky smile and a very tiny wave. Rowen fans need to be held back to be kept from running up on stage and trying to comfort the blue-haired boy. The camera now switches to focus on one person in the audience who is standing up and holding a microphone. It is a teenaged girl with brown eyes and shoulder length dark brown hair. She's wearing a black t-shirt that says "I'm like a SUPERHERO with no powers or motivation" in red letters on the front and jeans. She smiles hugely at the camera. This is where that mysterious voice was coming from)

Girl: And I'm your host, Helen aka AnimegirlH! Now let's go down and have some fun! (She descends to the desk on the side of the stage and takes a quick drink from the bottle of coke on the side. She continues to speak) YES! Hello and welcome to Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right! The points are like all of Talpa's plans to take over the world! They don't matter!

(Everyone except for Talpa and Badamon begin to laugh. Talpa give Badamon a 'look' (Not THAT kind of look you perverts!). Badamon nods then begins chanting, powering up some kind of energy beam, which he then aims and shoots at Helen)

Helen: (Sees the energy beam coming towards her and screams in terror before diving underneath her desk, while everyone gasps in horror. The Ronins and Ex-warlords power up to sub-armor, while Kayura twirls the Ancient's staff dangerously, and begin to advance on the trouble-making duo. Helen peeks out from beneath her desk, her face smudged with ashes and hair slightly singed)

Helen: THERE ARE RULES! AND THE RULES DO MATTER! THEY DO MATTER! RULE #1: DON'T KILL THE HOST!  (Badamon glares at her and starts to chant again. Helen panics) O.O SECURITY!!!!!!

(Two big, buff men with police uniforms on bust open the studio doors and jump down the stairs. The Ronins (Including the Ex-warlords and Kayura) back down, but watch anxiously. The Security Guards advance on Talpa and Badamon. Badamon aims his attack at them, but it doesn't work. Unfortunately for the trouble making evil duo, these security guards have been magically enhanced so that they have energy shields and the power to fly. They quickly apprehend Talpa and Badamon and 'escort' them from the premises. Everyone just gapes for a few moments)

Helen: (Takes a few deep calming breathes) Thank God that's over with. (Turns to audience) Anyways! The rules are as follows: Rule #1! No killing the host, no matter how bad her jokes are! (Audience begins to relax and laughs at this) Rule #2! Minimal cursing! Rule #3! Nothing too perverted! And Rule #4! Absolutely NO removal of clothing except for jackets and sweatshirts, provided there is something underneath! (Several audience members groan in disappointment. Helen grins apologetically) Sorry fans, no shirtless Ronins! (At this the boys in question blush madly and the audience laughs hysterically) OKAY, now if you've never seen the show before, the guys are going to come down here and make up everything off the top of their heads! All of it is improvisational! Which probably has Rowen so scared because he can't plan ahead! (Smiles sweetly to the blue-haired warrior as he blushes again and audience giggles)  Now, to start off they're going to play a little game called 'Props'! In this I give each team an item and they have to come up with as many things as they can using said item. Cye, Kento and Ryo! You'll be one team and here is your prop! (Helen reaches behind her desk to pull out 3 huge foam pencils. Each of the 3 boys take one, looking utterly confused) Sage and Rowen! You're the other team and here's your prop! (She reaches behind the desk again and comes up with what looks like flattened pom-poms attached to carpet squares. [If you've ever seen the Whose Line is it Anyway with Robin Williams as the special guest, it's like the props that he and Wayne had to use] Sage and Rowen give Helen strange looks)

Sage: What the hell are THESE?

Helen: (Looks at the props) …I have no idea. What makes you think that I know what they are?

Rowen: ¬¬ You're the HOST!

Helen: Exactly! I'm the HOST, not the props expert! Just play the game! Starting with Cye, Kento and Ryo!

Cye/Kento/Ryo: (Each take a pencil. Ryo and Cye begin to act like they're having a sword fight. Kento stands to the side, looking on anxiously)

Ryo: (Making corny light-saber sounds) BWAHAHAHAHA! You'll never beat me Qui-gon Jinn!

Cye: (Also making corny light-saber sounds) I'll try anyway Darth Maul!

Ryo: (Cackles insanely and makes as if stabbing Cye through the stomach)

Cye: (Eyes go wide and he gasps, collapsing)

Kento: (As Obi-Wan Kanobi [Like you couldn't already guess that]) NOOOOOOO!

BUZZ!

Sage: (Is holding a carpet square thing in each of his hands, shaggy side up) Excuse me sir!

Rowen: (Looks around a moment then points to himself) Who, me?

Sage: Yes you! Would I be able to interest you in some pets? (Holds out carpet squares)

Rowen: (Inspects squares) What ARE they?!

Sage: (Flustered) They're…uhhh…HAMSTERS! (Audience laughs)

Rowen: (Looks at Sage skeptically) …Hamsters?

Sage: No! Wait! They're gerbils!

Rowen: (Now REALLY doubt-full) Uh-huh…Gerbils…

Sage: No! Their mice! (Audience cracks up)

BUZZ!

Helen: Before Sage hurts himself trying to think of what type of animal he's trying to sell Rowen.

Ryo: (Holding up his pencil to the background of the stage, moving it around)

Kento: Ryo! What are you doing?

Ryo: I'm drawing the background!

Cye/Audience: (Cracks up)

BUZZ!

Sage: (Holding one of the carpet squares between his forefinger and thumb as far away as possible from his body) Rowen! I think I found what was gestating underneath your bed!

All: (Begin to laugh) BUZZ!

Kento: (Acting like he's lifting weights)

Ryo: (Acting like he's doing chin-ups)

Cye: (Acting like he's a pole-vaulter)

BUZZ!

Rowen: (Looks at the carpet squares, which are in Sage's hands, curiously) Say, aren't those pieces of Mia's carpet?

Sage: (Quickly hides the carpet squares behind back. Glances nervously around the room) NO! NO THEY'RE NOT!!

BUZZ!

Ryo/Kento/Cye: (Act like they're writing on the ground, some distance away from each other)

Cye: I KNOW the teacher said this would be a BIG test, but THIS is RIDICULOUS!

Audience: (Cracks up)

BUZZ!

Rowen: (Puts one of the squares on his head) Hey Sage! Like my new hairdo? (Pretends to flip hair)

Sage: (Fighting to keep a straight face) No! HAHAHAHA!

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BU-

Helen: Huh? (Pushes the buzzer again)

BULEK….(Buzzer dies)

Helen: Oh, shit. Anyways, great job guys! 1,000 points for each of you! Now we're going onto a game called "Weird Newscasters"! Alrighty! Ryo! You're going to be the main anchor! Cye! You're gonna be the co-anchor, and you're afraid of everything! Kento! You're doing sports and you're getting pulled over for drunk driving! [Note here. Drunk driving is not a good thing to do. I am NOT by ANY MEANS trying to promote drunk driving. This is purely for humor. Never do drink and drive in real life. Or somehow, you shall be hearing hell from me. Got it?] Sage! You're doing the weather, and you keep getting mobbed by your fan club members!

Kento: And? That happens to him everyday! (Audience laughs)

Sage: Grrrr….Kento! C'mere! (He begins to advance threateningly towards Kento)

Kento: (Seeing how mad Sage is, becomes a little nervous. Puts his hands in the air in a peaceful gesture) Dude! Chill out! I'm just kidding man! (Slowly backs away to the other side of the stage)

Helen: (Seeing that a fight is inevitable unless someone does something, begins to push the button for the buzzer)

BUZ-ELK. BULEK.

Helen: Damn buzzer! (Pulls out one of those horns they use at a game [You know, the kind that looks like a can with a horn on top?] and pushes down)

AAAAANNNNNNKKKKKK!!!

Everyone: (Covers their ears with their hands)

Kento: (Takes away his hands) HEY! Not so loud!!

Helen: Sorry, the buzzer's broken, I have to use something! Anyways, moving on! Rowen! You'll be doing World News and you keep forgetting what it is that you're supposed to be saying! And, start!

(News music comes on)
Ryo: (Is sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage) Good evening, and welcome to the 6:35 and a half news! I'm your anchor, Norm Al One. Tonight's top news story! Strange beings from the planet Zycron have threatened to steal everyone's left shoe if we do not give them all the pudding in the world. [Yes, the left shoe comment was shamelessly stolen from Disney's 'Lilo and Stitch'. No, I do not own that either] (Audience laughs) Here to give you more details is my co-anchor, Scare D. Cat! Scare?

Cye: {Scared of everything} (Is sitting on a stool next to Ryo) WHO ARE YOU?! (Looks around wildly) WHY AM I IN A NEWS STUDIO?! AAAHHHH! (Points to the camera)  CAMERA! AAHHHH! (Points to the stage crew) A BIG GROUP OF PEOPLE! AAAAAAHHHHHH! (Points to the Studio audience) A BIGGER GROUP OF PEOPLE! AAAHHH!! I WANT MY MOMMY! (Slips off the stool he's sitting on and curls into a fetal position, rocking back and forth. The audience cracks up)

Ryo: ¬¬;; …Ooookkaaaaayyy…Now to the Sports with Speed D. Mon! Speed?

Kento: {Getting pulled over for drunk driving} (Slurred speech) Yessshh…Weeeelllll, da football peoplesh sheem to be doing well…(Pretends to take hands off wheel and begins doing random punches) And in Boxshing, da Hulk ish domi-domein- he'sh doing great an- (Pretends to look in his rear view mirror) Aww shit. (Pretends to pull over) What sheemsh to be the problem offisher? I'M NOT DRUNKSH!

Ryo: Okay! Thank you Speed!

Kento: I SWEAR TO DRUNK I'M NOT GOD!

Ryo: Uh-huh…..Now-

Cye: (Interrupting) AHHH! POLICE OFFICER! (Points over to where Kento is, who is pretending to have a fight with the 'police officer')

Ryo: Calm down Scare! The police officer is with Kento, he's not going to bother you!

Kento: (Yelling) YOU CAN'T TAKE ME TO JAILSH! I DIDN'T DO NOTHSHING WRONG!

Ryo: OVER to weather with Win D. Day! Win, please tell us the weather!

Sage: {Keeps getting mobbed by his fan club} Yes, well, as you see, on Thursday- (Turns around and stops talking. Turns to face audience, with an annoyed look on his face) All right. Who took the weatherboard? (Silence. Sage pouts, making Sage-fans go wild) Fine. Anyways, on Thursday we'll be seeing some wind from the Ea- (Stops and turns around as he sees his actual fans advancing from the audience) Erm…Can I help you? (The fan-girls squeal and run towards him) OO GAH! (Sage begins to run around the stage, everyone just looking at the strange procession in confusion) THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN FOR REAL!!!

Kento: (Whistling innocently, and as Sage passes by, sticks out his foot, tripping the parade of fan-girls) Hehe. Oops.

Ryo: Oo;; Okay….On to World News with Fore Get Full! Fore?

Rowen: {Keeps forgetting what is that he's supposed to be saying} Huh? Oh yeah! Umm…What am I doing again? Oh right! Well, yesterday in Japan…ummm…uh…What's going on there again? Aww, skip it! Anyways, in Egypt…erm…dammit…uhhh…In Italy…ehhh…iiiii…ummm…And back to you Norm!

Ryo: ……Right! Well, this is Norm Al One, saying goodbye. Join us again at 9:20 for the 11 o'clock news!

(Ending news music plays)

Helen: Well, another 1,000 points for each of you! Now we're gonna go to a commercial break, 'cause I need to poll the audience for the next game! Goodbye!

Helen: Yay! The first chapter is done! (Does the dance of joy, blatantly ignoring the strange looks she's getting)

Jill: (Looks over story) You know, you mention in the beginning that Rowen's afraid because he can't plan ahead, yet I see no evidence of that anywhere else…

Helen: That's because he just thinks he's not good at improv!

Jill: (Shrugs) It's your story. Anyways, what's this thing about 'polling the audience'?

Helen: I'm glad you asked! Now, for the next episode, the Ronin's shall be playing "Who's Line" and "Superheroes"! So, I need suggestions from the readers for lines, a situation for the people playing "Who's Line" to be in, superhero names and a crisis for the superheroes to solve!

Jill: For example?

Helen: Well, a suggested line could be "Your feet stink!", a suggested situation could be "Watching the Super bowl", and a suggested superhero name could be "Captain Boxer shorts" and a suggested crisis could be "All the anime in the world has disappeared"!

Jill: O.O WHAT?! ALL THE ANIME IN THE WORLD HAS DISAPPERED?! NOOOOOOO!!!! (Begins to wail in despair)

Helen: Jill! Calm down! It was just an example! It didn't happen!!!

Jill: (Stops) Really? I knew that!

Helen: (Skeptically) Sure ya did. Anyways, Read and Review! And send in your suggestions and you'll appear as an audience member! Ciao for now!

Jill: (Waves) Bye!