So Falco and Fox were just staring at each other angrily when Marth walked up all confused. He flashed his beautiful hair that he did up in a ponytail because he's soooooo pretty and gorgeously asked what the two freaks were up to.

"Fox is a straight up doody head!" said Falco.

Fox bit Falco on the wing and the two beat each other up like rabid pumas.

"I know how to solve your problem!" said Marth as he wiggled his hot rear in their faces and threw his hair back magically. "You guys can have a wonderful contest to prove which one of you is the coolest!"

Fox roared as he pulled out his gun and mercilessly shot a caribou on a unicycle. "OH MAH SWEET BABY LANTA! MY 'TOX IS THE HUNKINESS!"

"Okay," said Hunky Ness.

The contest started and Marth sat both Falco and Fox on two sentient toilets who were hungry for whatever decided to drop by.

Falco laughed and shook his tail feathers like a Cheetah Girl. "Ooh! You're off your game, Fox!"

"Not so, birdbrain! I have an ace up my sleeve!" replied fox.

The contest then began as Marth dropped his hanky and ran away on his tippy-toe giggling like a walrus eating cotton swabs. Falco ready his tush and prepared to land DA BIGGEST LOAD OF DA CENTURY! Fox was ready too and flexed his glutes like a real pro. Who would win this fearsome bout.

Marth called over the other high tiers to watch the amazing contest of team Star Fox. Captain Falcon drove over with a big bucket o' KFC and stole all the ladies' hearts with his sassy smile. With Captain Falcon were Sheik, Peach, Jigglypuff, but not the Ice Climbers because Popo had a severe toe infection that caused global warming. Marth tossed his luxury hair to the side and delved into his absolutely spicy and tasty burrito. Everyone was so excited to see who would give those seats the chocolate drops first.

Falco was squeezing like nobody's business (except his own). He, like, was in the process of blowing a fuse, but he just couldn't force the movement outwards. Fox was having his own problems in that he accidentally forced inward movements a few times! Do not ask how if you know what's good for you.

Suddenly Falco cried at the top of his lungs: "HANDS OFF MY BREAD!" and launched into outer space with the load that came forth.

Fox made that puking noise that his F-smash makes and shot off the potty as well. Everyone stared in amazement at the freaks and Marth was just way too fabulous!

Falco and Fox flew up so high and collided with one another in space. The force of the collision was so immense that they created a supernova that exploded about eleventeen times!

Captain Falcon cried beautiful tears of joy as he stared up at the sky. "My glorious goodness…" he said in between sobs. "Those wonderful creatures have created the most brilliant thing I've ever laid eyes upon…"

Yes indeed. Falco and Fox's collision created a new planet high above the Smash world and it was in the shape of Falco's face on one side and Fox's on the other. The planet opened its mouths and delicious brown surprises rains down on high tiers below. Jigglypuff caught a load in its mouth. "Holy snot-covered wallabies, homies! It tastes like heaven!"

Then everyone opened their mouths and swallowed the otherworldly gifts from Fox and Falco's mystic creation. The taste of the stuffy stuff was elegant and thought-provoking and everyone enjoyed the experience.

Marth started crying as he stared up at the planet. "Oh my…" he sobbed prettily. "You two really are the highest of tiers…"

And then Meta Knight walked in and killed everyone because they were insane waste-eating lunatics. He then ran up to Sakurai and told him about what just happened. Sakurai responded by adding random tripping, but allowed Meta Knight immunities to basically every negative circumstance in the metagame.

And then he added Snake for some reason.