12/19/2016

Hey guys! I finally finished my exam and I'm in for December. Which equally means Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

So why not write my first one-shot. I've been reading Millions of one-shots. Thanks to Dannielle (Danni1989) for her 'How do you want it?' and other amazing authors. So I got my idea and inspirations with their help. So Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a wish as a review.

What do we do under a Mistletoe?

She's my best friend and the love of my life. I heard people say that you can't help whom you fall in love with. Didn't exactly know this is how it would've turned out. Three months ago I didn't exactly know I would end up realizing that I'm in love with my best friend. Just when time was catching up I fell for her. Now I feel like I've always loved her. And I see the same love radiating off of her too.I know whenever we're alone and too intimately close together she is in the verge to confess it. But I push her away, changing the subject. Even almost telling her she's like my sister. I don't think I'll ever be able to control my emotions if she says anything.

No matter how much I love her I can't let that happen. It is because of this love, I can't ruin her life. I can't be that selfish. I am Damon Salvatore. I've been recently diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 25. I may have a year left, a month left, an hour left or a minute left. But I am fighting to stay alive for Elena Gilbert, Stefan Salvatore and my friends. I just don't know how much longer I could fight it.

I must say the Salvatore house looks jubilant. Of course Caroline would still be a kick-ass organizer even though she works for the news channel. By seeing all the decorations and smiles plastered in everyone's face I'm happy that I kept them in the dark, except for Stefan. He's been my only rock through out everything. Everything a brother could ask for. I know he cries everyday when he's alone. He wants to be strong for me and appears all cheerful and encouraging. I bet he's the one who convinced his fiancé to plan this huge Christmas party so that I can enjoy myself. This could be my last Christmas. I just wanted to do everything that I dreamt about doing. However I can't do all of them. But I can do some of them. Every one was unbeknownst to my condition and I'm glad. I didn't want them to mourn me already.

As I passed through the crowd in search of Stefan and Caroline I couldn't find either of them. Oh well. I don't actually have to worry about my brother being alone; I'm just worried about one person.

I felt an arm encircle my waist and a body slumped against my back. I turned around to face that person and immediately my guards went up.

"Damon Salvatore, the man who ignores his best friend." She said sarcastically.

"Elena Gilbert, who is currently drunk." I replied in the same tone. She's right though. I was ignoring her.

"I'm not drunk, just had too many eggnogs and shots." She said drunkenly giggling.

"You had eggnogs alone without giving me. Now I'm hurt." I acted out in the most playful tone in front of her. Faking laughter for her.

After I said that, she brought more shots. Which I was able to deny for her drunken state. Seems like the Christmas spirit got to her too much as she downed the rest of the drinks.

Suddenly she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the kitchen. She stopped under the doorway and looked at me with the same eyes that haunt me every moment. She had that love and adoration present.

"Look up." She almost whispered.

I looked up to where she pointed and immediately saw mistletoe hanging. I turned to look back at her with confusion on my face. Before I could utter a word her lips were on mine. I didn't except my body to react so quickly to her but it did. I kissed her back just as passionately. For just a minute I became unconsciously selfish. As humans, it was necessary to breath. So when we pulled apart to catch our breath, we took that moment to deeply look into each other's soul. Realization hit me like a train of what I was doing. When she was about to kiss me again I had to push her away.

"No Elena, we can't do this again. Why would you do that?" I've never seen Elena look so rejected in my entire life.

"But you kissed me back." Yah cause I'm in love with you.

"What was I supposed to do when you dragged me under the mistletoe to kiss me? You know it's a ritual to kiss under it and rude to push that person away before kissing." I know I was being overly harsh on her. At least it would keep her away.

"So if we weren't under the mistletoe, you would've pushed me away?" She finally spoke up after a minute. God she was trying so hard not to cry. I could hear it in her voice.

With the same lump in my throat, I lied. "Yes."

She inhaled a lump of oxygen and turned her back on him. "I'm sorry Damon. I think the booze just got me."

"Yeah I understand." I felt my heart ach and eyes swelling with tears.

"Can you give me some time alone?"

"Sure." I whispered, fearing that she'll hear the laced emotion with it. I turned around and made my way to my bedroom with silent tears falling from my eyes.

I felt like the oxygen was getting out of my lungs after he said those words. So I got down on the floor and started sobbing, completely sobered up. Why was he doing this to me?

We've known each other for more than 10 years. Enough to read each other like a book. However for the past 3 months Damon has been confusing me. The way he looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking. The way his body reacts when he feels the same spark I do. The sound of tenderness his voice carries. This led me to believe that he does have feeling for me. On the other hand, whenever I was about to get too close to him and about to say something, he struggled to change subject in the worst possible way. I know he thought he did it swiftly, but I spotted the inner struggle. Damon Salvatore always forgets that I know him just as well as he knows me. But what I couldn't understand was that why he was ignoring me? There were times like that I almost gave up hope. If he didn't want me, then why should I show so much desperation? All these questions go out of the window the moment I see those baby blue eyes. Butterflies start to erupt in my stomach.

Throughout all this complicated situations the only person I leaned on to was, Bonnie. She renamed herself as the Cupid of Delena. She even made me drunk today so that I can drag Damon under the mistletoe. I think it's safe to say that it did not go as I planned.

After what happened, I don't think I could ever try again. I won't be able to look him in the eye anymore. I can't be free in front of him anymore. He successfully drove me away. That's what he wanted right? But I still needed some answers before I could drive far away from him. Without those answers, I don't think I'll be able to let go. So I got up from the floor, wiped my eyes and made my way to his room.

When I got inside my room I was met with a very angry looking Caroline Forbes and a guilty looking Stefan. Caroline had her arms crossed over her chest, breathing out fire. While Stefan was giving me the look that said, 'I've tried to stop her.' Then suddenly Caroline Forbes stepped forward and shoved me hard on my chest.

"Caroline!" Stefan yelled out. I held a hand out for him to stay quiet.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Damon Salvatore? Why are you acting like this?" she yelled at me.

"How am I acting?" I kept the strong face intact in front of her.

"By giving her the impression that you don't love her? By making her cry? What kind of douche does that?" the one whose trying to protect her from himself.

"Maybe I don't love her the way she does." Oh my god. Why does it hurt so much to say it?

If Caroline wasn't that angry before she sure as hell was now. "Oh really! You might not see yourself but everybody, including Elena, does see you." What is she talking about? "Everybody sees how much you love her and how much she loves you. Elena questions herself every day that why are you doing this to her and yourself. She cries every night for your denial."

"Looks don't tell anything and I'm not in denial." I said softly.

Caroline scoffed, "You think so, cause I don't think so." She said. "So if you don't love her, then tell me a few thing. Why are your eyes puffy? Why is your voice quivering? Why are tears staining you cheeks?" I didn't realize they were so obvious until now. "I tell you why. Every time she's in pain, you're in pain. Every time she cries you can't control your emotions. And when she's hurt because of you, you're world shatters apart. If that's not love Damon, I don't know what is?" she finally finished her speech and the tears started to flow. I didn't have the energy in me to protest anymore. "Now you're going to come with me and tell Elena-"

"I can't do that." I replied abruptly, understanding where she was going.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I'm dying Caroline!" I shouted out.

"What?" she was shocked. And Stefan, who tried to never cry in front of me, finally broke down.

"Yes! I'm suffering through leukemia and I don't know how much longer I have." Now Caroline also shed a drop of tear. "I could die any day. I might not make it to next year. This is my last Christmas and after 5 days I would get to enjoy my last New Year. So forgive me if I don't want to start something with Elena, which would not stay for long and I'd be going away from her in the worst way possible. Which is death. So I want her to run away from me before anything happens. I want her to move on with her life before I die. I don't want her to clung on to me. I want her to find somebody else who could stay with her for good 50 or something years, and give her a family. Which is something I cannot give her. I love her so much that I can't be selfish with her."

"That's not your decision to make." I froze as I heard the voice. I turned around to see the person, and I saw Elena standing in the doorway with hot tears rolling down her eyes and passion within them. Her expressions told me that she heard everything.

If I thought that his previous action broke my heart, this news took my soul away. Damon has leukemia and I don't know about it. He pushed me away because he was dying. Because he knew that I won't be able to move on easily if he gave in. Everything was too much to take in.

"Elena…" he started, but was unable to form a sentence.

"How could you?"

"It was for the best of you. I had to make this choice so that you could run away from me and have a normal life." He argued

"And then what? After 2 or 3 years I come back to mend things with my best friend only to find him dead. Do you think I'll be happy at that moment? Do you think I can ever go back to my life?"

"Yes! You'll be able to go back to your life then. Because you would've already moved on from me. You're world won't stop spinning for a friend who died years ago." He yelled. His points were more than agreeable.

I took a few steps forward until there was an inch left between us.

"What if I've never moved on?" I asked very softly.

"You would've at least tried if you never came here and listened." He said in the same tone.

"But I did came here and listened. Now what?" I asked putting up my best brave face.

"I don't know." We were so deep in conversation that we didn't notice Caroline and Stefan leaving the room and closing the door behind them.

"Even if I didn't come over here, I don't think I'd be able to move on. I just love you so much that I won't be able to be two days away from you. because when I'm away from you I feel like I cannot breath. Believe me I've already tried before." I said as new batch of tears came out.

"Me too." he said.

"Not for 2 years I guess." I knew it was a shock for him. I was too good at pretending back then because he was acting normal. I took another step closer so our noses were touching.

"All I know that you can't kiss me again right now." He said while looking down at my lips then back into my eyes.

"Why?" I couldn't help licking my lips with temptation.

"Because if you kiss me right now, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself again."

"For the second time, that's not your decision to make." I said and our eyes connected. For the second time I brushed my lips with his and kissed him feverishly. He kissed me back with his tongue seeking entrance. I allowed his tongue to brush against mine. The tears, which I held on, were now streaming down my face. I knew he tasted it in our kiss and I tasted his tears too. His hands came to my cheek as we pulled away to breath. He took that moment to kiss both of my eyelids.

"I love you too, Elena. So much that I also can't breath without you. But I was willing to try for the best of you." This time he kissed me first. I didn't want to spoil this moment so I kept my mouth shut. The kiss soon grew more passionate than I've ever experienced.

My hands started to struggle with his shirt buttons. And he was tugging the hem of my top. Within a few minute our body was bare to each other and our lips were glued together. He gathered me in his arms and made his way to bed, where he gently laid me down. He pulled back to finally look at my body. And I took that as a chance to look at his. I've honestly never seen anything more beautiful and intoxicating at the same time. His abs and muscles, everything was sculpted like a Greek god. Then I saw the way his eyes raked over my body. When our eyes connected again I saw how dark his blue eyes got. I pushed myself up on my elbow to grab him by his neck and pull him closer to kiss him. He pushed me back on the mattress and began to trail his lips from my neck to my collarbone. His hand cupped my aching heat and pushes a finger inside my warmth.

"Oh Damon." I moaned out. This encouraged him to add another. He was building up an immense pleasurable feeling with the ministration of his fingers. The moment he sucked down on one of my nipples, I couldn't help but close my eyes tightly with more intense pleasure.

"Damon I'm close." I breathed out. His fingers started moving faster as he made his way down to my core. He flicked my clit thrice with his tongue and soon I was a goner. He kept sucking on my clit as I rode out my orgasm.

He came back up and kissed me. I could taste myself in his tongue. He took hold of one of my thighs and placed it over his hips as he slammed his already hard length inside me. I couldn't help but scream out in pleasure. He gave me a moment to adjust to his size before starting to move. He was kissing every part of my body he could reach while slowly pounding inside me.

"Elena you're so tight." He groaned in pleasure.

I was again nearing oblivion, and so was he. "Faster Damon." I moaned out. Suddenly he pulled me up into sitting position so we were cradling. This position allowed me to look into his eyes. His eyes looked so beautiful, as I looked into them, with so many different colors from the Christmas lightening. The new angle immediately spotted my g-spot and I screamed out his name.

"Damon!" Oh god I was so close. His lips sucked on my nipples again. That did it. I had my second orgasm. He also let go inside me and joined me in the oblivion. After our breathing came back normal. He kissed me tenderly and gently laid me down to the mattress and spooned me.

"I love you, Elena." He whispered into my ears and kissed my neck.

"I love you too, Damon." I said back.

"Promise me something please." He said with heavy voice.

"Anything that's not close to me running away from you after this." he lightly chuckled along with me.

"No it's not that close to that. It's a lot better." He said. I nodded my head for him to shoot. "I want you to promise me that you're going to stay with me everyday until the day comes. And when I'm gone, you won't let your world stop spinning." I couldn't help the tears now. And I also felt him crying beside me. "You're going to let me go. Have a family. Live the life you desired." He finished and sighed out.

"The life that I desired had you in it Damon. I'm sorry but I won't be able to let you go." I turned around to face him. "Because Damon Salvatore, you'll always be a piece of me. When you're gone…" I laced my fingers with his. "I'm going to hold on to these moments we had to go through everything life throws at me."

"But Elena…"

"But I promise you, that I'll live my life with memories of you on it. I'll laugh, I'll party, and I'll study hard and get my dream job. Only I can't imagine being with another man and not think of you. So I'll choose to think of you every time rather than be with another man and spoil both of our lives because I'll never be able to love anyone the way I love you. I need you to believe that this will make me happy." He searched my teary eyes and smiled. I traced his jaw with my free hand before pulling him for a kiss.

The Christmas Carol began indicating that it was midnight. Damon pulled back from the kiss and gently placed a soft kiss on our joined hands.

"Merry Christmas, Elena."

"Merry Christmas, Damon."

5 Years Later

It's been five years since the day we first made love. Four years since I had my miracle. Almost five years since the day I lost him. I was there by his side to see the lights fade away from his eyes. I heard his last breath on earth. I heard his last heart beat. And his last words 'I love you, Elena Gilbert.' Even today it hurts like hell.

I felt dead for months. I grieved him for months. Ironically, the only thing that brought me back to the land of living is the promises that I gave him and the miracles of living things.

It was a bright snowy day. I arranged every single gift boxes, by 7 A.M, under the Christmas tree, Stefan, Caroline and Bonnie helped me decorate. Then I started to cook for Christmas with the songs playing on the background.

Suddenly I felt arms wrapped around me. I immediately knew who he was. "Merry Christmas, Damon." I turned around to look down at the same shade of baby blue eyes and black hair. A part of him, that Damon left me with five years ago. A part that I held on to for four years when I was alone and sad. The one that encourages me to go on with life. Our miracle of life. I kneel down before him and hug him tightly.

"Merry Christmas, mommy." His soft angelic voice wished me back.

*Sniff, Sniff*

Not exactly a happy Christmas story I would say. I was honestly crying while writing this. I really had second thoughts. I almost changed the course of the story, but I held on and tortured myself. I had to remind myself that if I wanted to be a writer in the future. I needed to be strong about my opinions and ideas. So here you have it.

If it makes you feel any better I promise to write another Christmas one-shot as soon as possible which would make you laugh your gut out. Believe me. I don't only know how to make a person cry.

So if you want to read more festive one-shot as soon as possible, Follow me. If you liked this story or felt angsty, Favorite it. If you cried along with me then Please Review.