Title: Stockholm Syndrome
Warnings: Angst(?)
I don't know why I am drawn to this place.
It had only been a few days since the place was shut down, but I remembered all the sights and sounds clearly. Dr. Tan's club was a huge success, attracting all sorts of exotic dancers and party-people, all seeking a wonderful time under the strobe light. Everything had been perfect, and Tan had continued to stare at the pulsating clubbers, perched atop his throne and watching with disinterested eyes.
It wasn't long before I began to drift, becoming bored with the lively crowd, practically blind under all the neon lights. My eyes scattered across the room and settled on a man holding a jacket, his whole body hunched over as if something was pressing down on him.
I really liked that jacket.
He continued, gliding his way across the floor and settling at the bar, jacket still in hand, and waved for the bartender. Wearing nothing but white he leaned against the table, body looking dejected as he hid his face from view. I couldn't rip my eyes away from his figure, wondering how he sounded like, what he looked like, craving to find out who the jacket belonged to. Drink after drink the man chugged, throwing his head back with every new drink and quickly calling for another. He turned around and I was finally able to see his honey eyes dripping with grief. Something lit up inside me, trying to remember who he was, his eyes causing a stir within my soul.
Despite being completely distraught, he was absolutely beautiful.
Pictures began to press behind my eyes, my heart beating faster at the sight of them exploding behind my eyelids. They had reawakened old and familiar feelings, my heart remembering what my mind could not. My lips curled down as my mind rejected these false memories, ideas that did not belong to me. I immediately shattered those pictures, desperately trying to crush the feelings that had surfaced and attempted to escape my heart. This was obviously Tan's doing, he said he cleansed me, yet my heart sank as I became normal again, the doctors hand gently caressing my inner thigh.
Angel.
My mind throbbed as I connected the name to the man, and finally recalled Tan's warnings, his voice shrieking as he grabbed me, "He is a dangerous man...he is also an obstacle in my path, so he is to be eradicated immediately. And if he sees you, he will kill you." Despite what my knowledge said, my heart continued to beat harder, fluttering at his graceful movements and misty eyes.
Tan had wanted to destroy the place, and with a snap of his fingers chaos erupted. Everyone panicked and ran in every direction, and in the flurry of madness I found myself completely still and my heart finally settled in my chest. Instead of being afraid I was calm, even content in the midst of the chaos. Again I searched for the tan beauty, and found myself staring into endless thick pools of honey. My heart clenched suddenly, and I lowered my head, but he was still in view.
I heard his voice pierce the air, and hit me will such an intensity, "Oblio? Oblio? Oblio!"
I responded to the name, quickly snapping my head back up, but I was honestly confused. A long arm wrapped around my hips, long fingers resting on my hip bone and I was escorted out by Dr. Tan, allowing his cold hands to drag me away from the sight of Angel. I couldn't help but look back one last time, only to see Angel being pushed back, swallowed by the crowd, his white hat falling off and landing in the darkness.
Now I'm here, completely unsure of what to do, where to start.
I continue to explore the dark and empty club, the memories of the breakdown looping endlessly in my mind. Soon I came back to that same place, right were Angel was sitting, and the jacket was there. Before I knew it I was holding it, grazing the cool black leather with my fingertips. The yellow had certainly stood out against the black, and I held it up to further examine it. I flipped it around and the raven had immediately caught my eye, "The End Of All Competition". My mind came up with a blank, but my heart was practically bursting within my chest, wanting to explode from having the jacket in my hands. The jacket slid from my palms, landing softly like a feather.
Across the way I saw a flash of white, and found it to be Angel's fedora. There was nothing special about it, but as I continued to stare at it, the more uneasy I felt. A warmth slid beneath my eyes, continuing before becoming ice cold and dripping off my face. I opened my mouth and a loud sob shook my entire body. I rushed over, grasping the accessory and hugging it close to my chest.
Mi amour...
A smile found it's way on my lips, I didn't even know what the fuck that meant but I just loved it, I wanted to hear his shrieks again, filled with such emotion, I wanted to know what he meant. As more pictures floated to my eyes, my wailing only continued, my throat burned like hell but it didn't matter, I needed to release this horrible feeling inside me. I was sucked back into reality when I finally dropped to the ground, tears still flowing as I tried to hush myself.
Suddenly I remembered who I was, wiping my tears as I finally found my breath.
Angel was an idiot though, he had called me...
I knocked over a chair, frustrated that I reacted to him, my mind hated him yet my heart loved him.
The material was soft against my hand as I fixed it from it's crushed state, and dropped it beside the forgotten jacket. I walked away, heading towards the sunlight that filtered through the broken doorway. My hands traced over the marks, the same marks that proved my allegiance to Tan. Soon I began to question my ideas, my participation in his plan.
I winced as I recalled the light painful mark that resided just above his heart, yet was almost transparent on my skin. Rushing out I felt a sense of deja-vu wash over me, and as my eyes turned to peer back at the items, I fixed them back to the light.
Mi amour...
I refused to look back, I had to keep going forward, and tears began to well up in my eyes, it was worthless trying to chase after things that were long gone...
Te amo.
I finally faced the door, wanting to escape from all these confusing emotions, but finally one last wave of tears burned behind my eyes, and I felt my hands clench, nails stabbing my palms.
With one last turn and a deep breath, "MY NAME IS BUKI!"
My voice echoed in the darkness and I felt lost once again.
My body shook as I turned back into the light, running away from the man who had made me feel, away from these emotions that scared me, I couldn't keep his voice and smile out on my brain.
Te amo.
Te amo.
Te amo.
Te amo.
I love you.