They say, every star glimmering in the night sky is an Angel looking down on Earth. I look up, through the softly growing clouds to the dark sky, wondering which is yours?
Do your sad eyes even look down, trying to find me? Do you even want to try? I know I hurt you, I let you down, But as they snatched you from me, took you before I could speak, I could see the quiver from your chest, feel the pain weighing your light soul.
Nothing ever hurt me before. Through our hundreds of years of fighting, to the years of peaceful argument and playing, till the time where we became more...more than rivals...more than sparing partners...more than 'friends'.
They say Humans were blessed by The Heavenly father with the ability to love, that those like us...those like me, those like you, were never blessed with the ability to l-...
Such a simple word...so easily said by humans, so easily used in both honesty and for their own purposes. It took you so long, but even as you laid in my arms, so close to sleep, so close to me, you said it so softly, so sweetly before you passed from the waking world. I didn't know what to do.
My arms tensed softly, but I merely held you, and gently tightened my gently hold on you. For the first time, I felt a pain in my chest I could not understand.
That pain is nothing like the pain I felt when you were pulled from earth back to Heaven, leaving me behind. I felt a void grow in my chest I feared would pull my very body into, causing me to crumble from the inside, and turn into nothing.
That void though, has been replaced now. I feel a growing passionate fire inside, a rage unlike anything I have ever felt before. I have gone beyond violent outrage, I am calm, I am standing firm.
And as the stars are blocked from my eyes, I close them as the cold rain falls upon my face. It almost feels like I can feel your tears in the rain.
I could feel your pain, even through the distance from where you are to here, I felt it and it has only hurt me more, but as I stand here, I feel a soft smile spreading across my lips. I even feel a soft, almost sadly sick chuckle building in my chest, starting to escape as another red tear slides down my cheek. I have accepted the most likely outcome for my coming actions.
I have a plan. I shall go forth, and break through the tarnished gates tot he soiled 'holy land', and even if it means my death, I shall see you again, my Angel, my darling...my...
Such a fragile word...so strong and yet so frail. The weakest of men can throw it around like it is trash, the strongest of them can be downed by the mere whimper of the word faster than by any sword. You said it so easily, muttered it so close to sleep, uttered it with complete honesty.
Only 4 letters, placed together in such a way the word itself written means nothing, the word itself means little, it is only the feeling, the true emotion held behind it that gives the word any power.
You struck me with many a sword blow before, you punched me with iron fists-like blows before, but that word, muttered so softly, so easily, struck my with a blow I can never recover from.
You loved me...I hurt you...I could never tell you my feelings before, and even now, as I stand here, looking up as I prepare for the greatest battle in my life, I can only smile softly, knowing if I fall it is for the best. Because I know now I can say it, I know i truly understand the word, and what it truly means...
Tristan...my darling...My Tristan...I...I love you...and I Love you...with everything i am and everything I mean...I may be nothing more than a demon...and you may be an angel...two half's of a coin as I have said before...But you are the other half of me...
I love you...and I am coming for you...If I have to rip Heaven's gates apart...I am coming...