Autobots, Assemble!
One-Shot: Street Art
A light, persistent drizzle pattered on the metal roof of Hangar E. Dreary grey clouds hung low and somber in the afternoon sky and a thin layer of fog was beginning to form as the cool rain hit the hot pavement. Only Thor didn't seem to mind the occasional low rumble of thunder in the distance.
Prowl seemed interested in the rain. He stuck his hand out every so often and let the water pool in it, allowing special sensors to analyze the chemical composition of it. He seemed rather surprised that it was just that – water – with trace amounts of other, mildly acidic compounds in it. The rain back on Cybertron was highly acidic, capable of corroding Autobot armor if they were out in it for too long. This rain was utterly harmless.
"That's what makes driving on Earth bearable." Arcee commented from nearby. "You don't have to worry about little rain showers killing you."
"Most of the time." Ratchet added dryly, making Prowl look at him oddly.
The rain began to fall more quickly just then, lightning flashing and thunder clapping loud enough to convince Prowl to draw back into the shelter of the hangar to escape the oncoming storm.
Knockout remained silent in a far corner of the hangar, observing the goings-on with a languid, laid-back air. He was still under close supervision and forbidden to leave the hangar without an escort, and with it raining like this driving around for any reason would be a bad idea. Besides, he wasn't in the mood to go anywhere – the weather seemed to put a damper on him.
Vision approached the silent Aston Martin quizzically, head tilted to the side as if debating how to speak to him. Their last encounter with each other had involved a hostage situation and taunts directed at the android and his friends. With him more or less fully on their side now, maybe it was best to start over again.
"Knockout?"
The Aston flicked a side-view mirror at him to let him know he was listening, but perhaps not that interested in talking back for the time being. He was content to merely see what Vision wanted with him. The impact of Professor X's mind scan the other day was still fresh and he was afraid that if he spoke his voice might crack and give away his true reason for turning on the Decepticon cause.
"I am sorry. If you wish to be left alone, then I will leave." Vision apologized, drawing back a few steps and preparing to take his leave.
"Wait."
The android stopped mid-step.
"I was just…busy thinking is all. You aren't trespassing on my time or space at all. I didn't mean to come off as rude just then. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so sensitive."
Knockout found himself internally dying of cuteness when Vision smiled at him, the smile of someone very young. It struck him immediately that Vision was practically a child in the Cybertronian sense. Hyper-intelligent he may be, but he was still incredibly young and innocent, and he was still in the process of learning how to interact with people.
And how could he possibly be in any way upset at that adorable, childish little smile? Poor little guy was just trying to be friendly to him and help him feel like less of an outsider.
The android must have still felt he was intruding and walked off regardless of Knockout's reassurances that he was not. Vision had to have been somehow perceptive of the Aston's mood and desire to casually observe from a distance. When he was ready to interact he would do so.
"So? What do you think of him?" A voice asked from the red medic's side.
Knockout could be well excused for nearly jumping out of his armor. He had been so focused on watching Vision retreat that he hadn't noticed someone steal up from behind. It wasn't for the first time that he wondered how a mech the size of Optimus Prime could move around so stealthily. It seemed against physics for him to be able to pull it off.
"Is that how Ratchet gets his patients when you're not out fighting 'Cons? By you sneaking up behind someone and giving that poor sucker a spark attack?" The red medic gasped.
The Prime merely smiled. He didn't leave. He seemed to be waiting for something.
Knockout flicked a mirror back at him in surprise. "Oh! You…you actually wanted an answer to that? Uh…"
"You do not have to answer if you do not want to. I am merely curious as to what you think of, not only Vision, but the rest of them."
He let Knockout mull over the question and examine it at his own pace. His opinions on them had no doubt altered since they had taken him down at the rail yard and offered him mercy.
"Hawkeye's the only one of them I don't trust completely." He finally replied with a hint of laughter in his voice. He gestured with a side-view mirror towards where the archer was trying to creep up on a meditating Prowl and scare the holy hell out of the mech – just for the fun of it.
"And I share your opinion, believe it or not." Optimus chuckled. "For good reason, too."
He left the Aston with a strange, enigmatic twinkle in his optics. Knockout's dark headlights seemed to follow him with a demand for answers. What was it with this mech and being weirdly cryptic in his remarks? Was he trying to hint at something he should be aware of?
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Knockout wasn't an expert when it came to telepaths, but he assumed that minor processor aches weren't supposed to be a side effect of a deep mind scan. Maybe telepathy impacted Cybertronians differently than humans due to their different anatomy. Honestly he had no idea, but that dull ache in his head was really starting to bother him.
"You okay, Red?" Hawkeye asked. He had noticed Knockout's peculiar reticence and was curious as to the cause. Knockout had been quite vocal and snide at the rail yard – now he was near silent.
"Do telepathic mind scans cause headaches?" The red medic demanded. Hawkeye blinked in confusion.
"If you're having a migraine it's best to sleep it off. Not much else you can do." Jane told him. "I mean, unless you have some sort of alien version of Excedrin to make it go away. I'm surprised that Xavier's mind scan would cause that, but maybe the way your minds are protected by advanced firewalls has something to do with it – like mechanical versions of psychic barriers I guess."
The Aston's engine growled in agreement. That dull ache must be those firewalls re-establishing after having shut down so abruptly. A quick recharge sounded nice right about now anyway. The rain was making him drowsy and nothing was really going on.
"If you try anything I swear to Primus….." Knockout warned Hawkeye. He wasn't exactly reassured when he and Miko shared an evil, scheming look with each other.
"I promise not to interrupt your beauty sleep, Red…." Clint lied charmingly, holding up a hand. That mech was so clueless it was pitiful!
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It didn't take very long for the Aston to drift off, and the second Hawkeye was sure he was out for the count he waved Miko over. The spunky Asian teen's eyes flicked back towards Optimus who seemed oblivious to their nefarious pranking of the napping Knockout. No one else seemed to be aware of what they were up to, either.
Perfect.
"Got the stuff?" He asked in a low whisper.
Miko flashed him a devilish grin and whipped out a can of dark green spray paint. Hawkeye matched the action, displaying his own can of orange spray paint. These two specific colors would clash horribly when used on Knockout's red chassis. With Knockout's vanity in mind at the time they'd thought it up, this prank was designed especially for him.
"Then let's do this."
They set to work with mischievous cackles and a faint rattling of spray paint canisters. They worked quickly and efficiently but still enjoyed themselves immensely. It only took them a couple of minutes to complete their work, and they shared evil grins with each other afterwards.
"He's gonna freak when he wakes up! This'll be better than the prank I pulled on Magnus!" Hawkeye snickered, stowing the empty canister in his half-empty quiver. He took Miko's and stored it similarly.
"Want me to record the freak out?" Miko asked, holding up her pink flip phone suggestively with a cheeky smile.
"You can if you want to, but if you do, stay out of sight and stay quiet. Don't let him know he's on camera."
Miko's smile widened. "He won't even know I'm there, bro." She declared.
She scampered off to find a suitable hiding place with a good view for filming that would also provide her cover in case things took a turn for the worse. Knockout was less stiff than Magnus by a long shot, but that didn't mean he wouldn't react negatively upon seeing what they'd done to him.
Hawkeye grinned. That kid had spunk and smarts. She would be the perfect helper for future pranks alongside Smokescreen and Tony. He would have his own little posse of prankers by the end of this.
Now they just had to wait for him to wake up or for something (or someone) to do so instead. Mischievous as he might be, he truly sympathized with the red medic's aching head and would rather he come to on his own than be jolted rudely back awake.
He decided to follow Miko's idea and casually wait from a distance. Hopefully the other 'Bots and Avengers wouldn't wake him before his head recovered.
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Knockout began to stir around half an hour later to the sensation of having gotten a fresh coat of paint on his doors, hood, windshield, and fender – so basically all over except his wheels. Judging from the less-than-comfortable consistency of the paint, this wasn't the act of a Good Samaritan but a practical joker.
A closer examination of the "paint job" resulted in a high, rather girlish sounding gasp. Someone had scrawled graffiti all over him in green and orange paint! He looked hideous now!
Only one person in this entire hangar would have the gall and daring to pull something like this on him, and he'd promised he wouldn't.
Hawkeye. That fragging little liar had gone and pranked him anyway!
The Aston revved his engine to alert the archer that he was awake and not very happy. Hawkeye heard the sudden noise and tensed, ready to make a break for it if Knockout rushed him. Every other occupant in the hangar also heard his engine revving and turned to see what the cause was.
"Clint! Really?" Arcee deadpanned. "We're supposed to be help him fit in! Not publicly humiliate him!"
Hawkeye laughed nervously as Knockout rolled forward. "Red, come on. Don't tell me you actually believed me when I said I wasn't going to prank you! You know me better than that!"
Knockout lurched to a stop, engine growling. He did know Clint better than that. This wasn't a public humiliation – it was just a friendly prank designed with his vanity in mind. In all probability the stuff could be hosed off easily.
From the way Optimus was looking at the archer he figured that Clint was in some semblance of trouble for pulling this particular prank so soon after the red medic's faction change. There was strangely amused disappointment in those blue optics.
"Clint." The Prime rumbled authoritatively.
Hawkeye tensed and then tried to run for it, heading for his trusty getaway racecar buddy. Smokescreen's driver's side door swung open and let him in.
"I'm in for it this time! Step on it!"
This escape plan came to a grinding halt when a massive metal foot slammed down in front of the racecar. Smokescreen's engine seemed to whimper and his passenger swallowed hard. This was the first time the archer was half-way scared of Prowl.
"Out." Prowl ordered.
Clint knew better than to argue with that tone of voice. He opened the door and got out….and then ran for it, bolting towards the hangar doors.
Optimus visibly resisted the urge to face-palm at this. He sighed: "Prowl, stop him please."
Prowl nodded and closed the gap between him and his target with ease, calmly plucking the archer off the floor with two digits. Hawkeye groaned in aggravation but wisely didn't struggle as Prowl handed him over to the Prime.
"Maybe you can drill a little common courtesy into him." The black and white mech said with a tiny smirk. Hawkeye glanced back at him with a scowl and stuck his tongue out. He knew he was in trouble but still kept his typical sass regardless.
"Hmm. That might be overly optimistic, Prowl." He observed. "I think I might know of a way to…'convince' him to keep the practical jokes to a minimum, or in any event to time them better."
Uh-oh. Hawkeye didn't like the sound of that at all. He'd heard the big guy use that particular tone once or twice before with Miko and it always foretold….
"No! Not death by lecture! Noooo!" He wailed despairingly.
In the background, Miko snickered and continued to film the shemozzle with her pink flip phone. Hawkeye had said she could film, so film she would.
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Hawkeye was released after just ten minutes. He still looked unrepentant, but his signature sass was toned down a little.
Knockout was still parked where he'd been, having waited for the archer to return from his scolding. From what he'd managed to overhear, Clint was going to help hose the spray paint off of him – his prank, so it was his job to clean up. And knowing him, he'd probably told of Miko's involvement too, so she'd share the task.
Hawkeye waved him outside while Miko dashed outside to grab the hose. The rain had ceased and the black asphalt was covered in puddles. Rain wouldn't have worked to wash the spray paint off anyway – at least not fast enough.
They both waited for Miko. When she failed to show up right away, Hawkeye got curious. He peered around the side of the hangar….and a stream of water impacted his face, making him stagger backwards.
"Miko!" He coughed, rubbing his eyes clear of water. "We're supposed to be hosing Red down! Not me!"
The girl laughed and attacked him with the hose again, chasing him around the red medic's vehicle mode. Knockout tried valiantly not to laugh along with them but failed. Soon enough he was egging both humans on in their water fight, forgetting entirely why the hose was out in the first place.
Hawkeye eventually won when he managed to steal the hose out of Miko's possession. He started on his task of washing the spray paint off of his victim only after drenching Miko to get back at her for the first attack.
Hey, Optimus had never said they couldn't have fun while completing their task, had he?
"Any idea where they keep the suds here?" Miko asked, making sure Knockout was good and soaked.
The archer considered for a moment and then sprinted towards a nearby hangar where the military base's vehicles were kept and maintained. They were sure to have some automotive supplies in there.
He returned in only a few minutes with the required item. Both prankers quickly discovered that Cybertronians were apparently ticklish to a surprising extent, especially on their doors, and soon had the Aston howling in laughter and begging for mercy.
"Having fun kids?" Cap asked, leaning against the hangar. He was trying his best to stifle a smile.
"Loads!" They cackled. Hawkeye promptly started attacking Miko with the hose again, the spunky Asian shrieking and ducking behind Knockout for cover. Knockout blared his horn and scared her out of hiding and into Hawkeye's line of fire.
"Hey! Come on guys! Ganging up is not okay!" Miko huffed as she squeezed the excess water out of pig-tails.
The soldier smiled at this. "I could join your team to even the playing field if you like."
Knockout, Hawkeye, and Miko fastened on him instantly. "What? Just because I'm in command of the Avengers means I can't have a little fun once in a while?"
The trio seemed to agree on something. Clint grinned maniacally, raised the hose and unleashed a torrent of water at the soldier before he could raise his shield in defense. Miko tackled him and snatched the hose away, turning it on Hawkeye and giving her new team mate time to clear his eyes of water.
From inside the relative safety of the hangar, Ultra Magnus and Prowl observed them with an air of disapproval. Optimus stood beside them with a smile.
"I still fail to understand why you permit this." Ultra Magnus said.
"There is such a thing as too much rigidity to the chain of command and too much discipline in a soldier. We may be in a war, but that does not mean idle play should be forbidden. In any event, it helps to keep Clint from causing trouble elsewhere."
Ultra Magnus's expression went flat as he remembered the optic-color prank the archer had pulled on him not so long ago. That….that was a very sound strategy: Keep Hawkeye occupied so he wouldn't have time to prank him or any other Autobots.
He was about to say something when Miko cackled, grinned and turned to face the three mechs. There was a devilish glint in her eyes.
"Think fast!"
She raised the water hose, and before the three mechs could figure out what she was about to do with it, turned up the pressure and aimed it right at them, soaking all three mechs with water. The spunky Asian giggled and wisely fled out of range, high-fiving Clint with an evil snicker.
"Nice one, kid!" The archer grinned.
"Oh sure. Keep Clint from causing trouble…..Did you forget about Miko?" Prowl grumbled sarcastically. Magnus apparently had been thinking the same thing, as both mechs fixed flat expressions on Optimus. They were not amused.
And nor were they amused at the Prime's smile and shrug.