Notice: I do not own Halo, any of the characters/trademarks, etc. That's all in Bungie's/343i's hands.
A/N: Hey guys, this is my first Halo fanfiction and my first story post, so be gentle with me, lol. This story takes place during Halo: Reach, and explores Carter's emotions following Kat's death. It was inspired by deadmau5's "Raise Your Weapon", as you may or may not have gathered from the title, haha. Reviews are welcome, as well as constructive crit. I'm always looking to improve in any way I can. My apologies in advance that this is such a short chapter, I'm terrible at introductions. There are more chapters to come. Hope you enjoy.
"I don't know what we're going to do."
With eyes filling to the brim with tears, Commander Carter blinked away the salty liquid, his face hidden by the reflective visor of his helmet. He nearly choked on the words as they escaped his lips. The other three remaining members of Noble Team stood behind him - as they had been doing for quite awhile - looking down, the recent tragic events replaying in their heads and stirring their own emotions within them. He carefully removed his helmet to brush the tears off his cheek and wipe his eyes, keeping his head lowered so as not to expose his otherwise noticeable display of emotion to the others.
"You're not alone, Commander," came the softened voice of Jun, who appeared to be biting back sorrow of his own. Carter froze but for a moment, fearing he had made his actions too obvious. He turned to face him, after securing his helmet back in place. Slowly, he made his way over to Jun and rested a hand on the Spartan's shoulder, in hopes of providing the other Spartan with some comfort.
He let out a long sigh. The death of a fellow Spartan was never easy to handle, especially if they were a member of your squad; and Noble Team had been experiencing a double dose of grief. The death of Jorge was devastating, one that the team struggled to cope with; however, Jorge's death was his choice, his sacrifice for the team. The death of Kat was not planned, nor chosen. It was unexpected, something which made coping seem even more impossible than it already was. Something which hit Carter harder than it could have possibly hit anyone else.
Kat. Just hearing those three letters sharply stung the Commander, as if they had formed a dagger and were stabbing him repeatedly in the chest, the stomach, the heart. The name immediately cued too many images, memories, all of which flooded his mind and left him incapable of thinking coherent thoughts. But they were all a blur, none of them clear enough to focus on. Except one – watching her die.
Carter looked down once more, feeling himself being overcome by grief yet again. He eyed Noble Six, who stood a good distance from him and the other two Spartans, yet his head was still lowered like theirs had been. Although Six had not known Kat for long, and therefore hadn't grown very close with her, it was evident that he was still affected by her death. He wasn't expecting to have to witness death...twice. No one had expected to witness any death at all, for that matter. For the rookie, that must have been tragic enough. But then, having to carry Kat's lifeless body to safety? He turned away. He couldn't even imagine...
The images rushed back suddenly, flashing in Carter's mind, another dagger to the heart. The event played out like a movie, every scene in slow motion, every sound endlessly echoing through his head. The sound of glass shattering and a shrill scream, her scream, were amplified tenfold; the soft thud of her body hitting the floor, like a boom of thunder. He fought to internalize a scream, and while he managed to hold it back, he knew that next time it wouldn't be so easy.
Violently, he shook his head, bringing him back to reality if only for a short moment. His eyes returned to Six, whose sadness only launched him right back into his state of mental affliction. He bit his lip. I need to be alone, he thought, to have some time to...think. He couldn't handle holding in his emotions for a moment longer, and he refused to break down in front of the rest of the team, especially when he was supposed to be their leader. He bolted to the door, clasping his hand around the steel handle.
Before pushing the door open, he realized he should probably tell the others where he was going. It was suspicious enough that he was leaving so abruptly; but at this point, he had pretty much given up trying to hide that something was wrong.
"I-I'm..." he stuttered, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I'm going to go and...head to my quarters for awhile," he said over his shoulder, speaking to nobody in particular.
Emile was the only one who looked up. "Alright," he answered blandly.
Carter pushed the door open and quickly strode down the corridor, pulling his helmet off and freely letting the tears flow. He stifled back a few sobs as he pulled the door to his quarters open. He entered the room without turning any lights on, then slammed the door behind him. He was alone. At last, he was alone. Finally, he broke down.