Quinn rolled over and looked at the clock. Holding back sobs she realized that her baby girl was a month old exactly. Except she wasn't her baby girl anymore, she was Shelby's and it broke Quinn's heart to think about the baby girl she'd had and given away.
It had been easier before school had let out two weeks ago. At least when school had still been in she could distract herself until she fell asleep from pure exhaustion. But now, there was too much time and not enough things to fill it with.
She rolled onto her back and stared up to the ceiling of her childhood home before finally allowing herself to cry. Cry for the baby girl that was never meant to be her's, for all the people she had hurt in the process. It was weird being back home. Her mother seemed to be trying to do everything in her power to make things better between them, to make her feel better in general, but nothing worked. All she wanted to do was lay in a ball on her bed and think about Beth, crying.
She hadn't realized that giving away her baby girl would be so hard. She knew it was the best thing for all of them, especially Beth. She knew that Shelby could give her the life she deserved, which was way better than anything Puck and herself would be able to provide at this point in their lives. But these thoughts didn't make it hurt any less.
Sobs began to wrack her body and she was thankful that her mother had gone to the lawyer's. She was glad that Mercedes was gone of vacation with her family because it meant she won't even have to stop to answer her phone. Never before in her life had she been so thankful to be alone.
She was so busy crying that she jumped when his arms wrapped around her. She really shouldn't be surprised, ever since they gave Beth away he'd shown up at all hours. He was the only one she really wanted around, he was the only one who could relate.
She rolled over to face him and he wiped a few tears off of her face. She traced her hand across his chin, the stubble scratching her delicate hands. He hadn't shaved for a few days and she thought that she liked him better like that. A little rougher around the edges. His eyes are red and she knew for a fact that he has barely slept. She knew because she barely sleeps anymore herself, she was constantly waking up to imaginary cries of a baby who was never supposed to be her's.
She buried her head into his chest and cried some more. His arms wrapped around her tighter and she doesn't know how long they laid there together, her crying into his chest while him rubbed soothing patterns across her back.
She sniffled as she looked up into his eyes.
"I just want my baby back," she said as sobs wracked her body again. "I just want her back," she repeated over and over, getting more and more hysterical with each passing minute.
"So do I," he told her, his voice cracking at the end.
"We did the right thing. It was the right thing," she started, repeating it over and over as she tried to calm herself down and failing miserably. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and all she wanted to do was take back the past month and hold her baby close and never ever let her go. Eventually she lapsed back into sobs laced with, "I just want her back." Puck pulled her even closer to his body. She was so beautifully broken and she wasn't even sure she'd ever be able to be put back together again.
Eventually she calmed down again and she leaned over to grab some kleenex to blow her nose.
"I wish I knew what to do for you. For both of us," he told her, stroking her hair.
She laughed sadly bit before she answered him. " I just wish that you could make me better, make both of us better. But there's nothing we can do to make that happen is there?"