Big thank you to Lilamadison11 for the lovely coverart! Go check out all the others she's made for the smut-a-ton if you haven't already :)
Logan looks out the window of his, correction, their apartment. What was I thinking?! Oh, that's right, that I no longer had romantic feelings for my best friend.
The previous spring Logan had graduated from Berkeley and decided he wanted to stay while he figured out what he was going to do next. It had seemed so logical to offer her the spare bedroom in his huge apartment when she got into Berkeley Law. He'd been so excited for her and that she would be staying in the bay area that he hadn't considered the consequences of cohabitating with Veronica Mars.
"I am the biggest idiot on the planet!" he says, waking up the sleeping puppy they'd come home from the farmer's market with back in October. "Billie, what was I thinking? What made me think I could just live with Veronica, get a dog with Veronica, share a New Year's Eve kiss with Veronica and not fall back in love with her?" Billie huffs a little sigh and drifts back to sleep. "You're no help."
After freshman year—you're out of my life—Logan had transferred to UC Berkeley. He'd needed a change of scenery but didn't want to move too far from what little support system he had left. He hadn't been gone two weeks when he found out—thanks to Dick—that Veronica had transferred to Stanford, barely an hour away.
Logan smiles remembering how long his decision to not have contact had lasted—eleven weeks. Or more importantly, it has lasted until Mac had told him that Veronica wasn't going home for Thanksgiving. Logan had been sad, lonely, and missing Veronica so much his heart ached. So he'd broken down and called her. That call had been the start of a change for them. They had met up for a Chinese food feast and finally talked. It was the first of many conversations where they both shared the things they'd worked so hard to avoid. Therapy in conjunction with rekindling their friendship, it turned out, had done wonders for them both.
Over the last three years they've rebuilt the friendship they shared before Lilly's death. And until the last month Logan really thought they'd found their rhythm.
Everything was perfect, Logan sighs, and it sounds dramatic even to him. He unlocks his phone and staring at him is proof that the careful new world he's built for himself was all a lie. Veronica, with rosy cheeks and glittering eyes, stares back at him counting down to the New Year. Less than twenty seconds after the picture was taken Veronica had kissed him, not a friendly peck. They'd made out, Logan picking her up and using the closest wall to hold her up. They'd been interrupted and Veronica hasn't mentioned anything about it since. Six long weeks of desperation and poorly timed erections.
A groan escapes his lips and his cocks twitches from remembering how good she had felt, how vivid their kiss still is in his memory. What was I thinking asking her to live with me? Kissing her...Now she's on a date with Steven.
A knock comes at the door, it's Shave and a Haircut, and it is so Veronica, but she has a key and she's out on a date. Logan carefully adjusts himself so his subsiding hard-on isn't obvious, probably the only downside to being well endowed, because clearly that's his real problem.
He makes his way to the door and looks out the peephole. "Logan! It's me, please open the door."
Logan quickly pulls the door open and Veronica steps over the threshold, a wine colored dress peeking out from under the long peacoat she's been wearing frequently since the weather turned cool and she's in low heels. She's looks beautiful.
"What're you doing home so early? And why didn't you use your key?" Logan asks, ushering her inside.
"Ugh, it was terrible! And apparently I forgot my keys here along with my phone. I would have been home sooner but my pre-planned Mac check-in call obviously didn't work since I forgot my phone."
Veronica is a flurry of motion, discarding her coat and kicking off her heels. Logan catches a glimpse of her almost completely bare back as she turns away from him.
"Holy shit, V, you look hot." The words escape his mouth before he can stop them.
"Thanks? Your surprise is confidence inspiring. It was a date. I wanted to look pretty…"
"You look stunning," Logan says, stepping closer, noticing her distressed expression. "Veronica, what happened?"
"This is why I shouldn't date. Seriously, the guy was...how he got into law school I'll never know! I want to change, think we could order some takeout?" she asks, bending down to rub the arch of her foot.
"Do I need to beat anyone up?"
"No, no, nothing that serious. It's just, well, your response to the dress—flattering—his, not so much. He asked if I wanted to skip dinner and go straight to his place." Logan sees red flash before his eyes. "Logan, no, he was maybe a little too forward. And definitely not my type, but keep those fists holstered."
"You're sure? I haven't beat anyone up in a while. It might be fun."
"I think we can let it slide...this time."
"Okay, but if you change your mind, I'm your man." In more ways than you realize. "And I was planning to cook. How does risotto sound?"
"Great. He was supposed to take me for Italian and some dancing. Needless to say, neither happened. Why does this keep happening? Why can't I just meant a nice guy?"
She looks so sad and Logan hates seeing her like this. It's the fourth terrible date she's been on since their kiss and it's killing him. "We have this great stereo and my iTunes account. Pick out some music, I'm pretty sure I can fix this. I can both cook and dance."
Her eyes brighten for a moment and then it's gone. "Logan, you don't have to do that. You must have more important things to do. It's the day before Valentine's Day. Don't you have a crazy date to plan for tomorrow?"
"Veronica, there is nothing I have to do that is more important than cheering you up. And I don't have a date for tomorrow," he says, heading for the kitchen.
A minute later he hears feet padding his direction. "I think I'm going to go change."
Logan looks up, Veronica is barefoot and despite having put on some music he knows she loves, she still looks sad. "No, you look hot. Don't change. In fact...give me a minute?"
"Um...I guess."
"Great. Here, finish cutting up the mushrooms. I'll be right back." Logan leans in and kisses her on the cheek. He skips to his room and in record time changes into a light button down, sleeves rolled up several buttons undone, and a pair of jeans he knows make his ass look good.
A low whistle welcomes him back into the kitchen. "What's all this Echolls?"
"Well, you planned for a hot date. So I'm going to do my best to provide you with a facsimile of one." He leans over and checks the mushrooms; they're cut as are the onions. "V, go get us a nice bottle of wine. We've got a terrible date to make up for."
"Logan, you don't have to do this. I can just take ice cream into my room and sulk on my own."
"Knock it off. Your pain is my pain. Now get that wine."
She returns with one of the bottles he'd shown her a week or so ago, a shy look on her face. "Is this okay?"
"Definitely. I'll open this and you pick a playlist," he says, taking the bottle from her.
With practiced hands, Logan open the bottle of wine, and pours two glasses to let them breathe. He walks into the living room and joins Veronica. She's busy on the iPod attached to the stereo.
"Logan, can you still quickstep?"
"Um...last time I checked. I guess it's been a while." It's one of the things they've done together over the years, dancing. A way to help fill the void from the loss of his mother. And now Logan wonders if it was a way to be physical with each other without breaking their 'just friends' agreement.
"Well, I want something fast!" Horns start blaring through the stereo.
And now friends let me tell you about this cat that I once met
Veronica sets down the iPod and runs across the open room, stepping into her heels, holds her hands out in a ballroom hold. "Quickstep?"
"If I'd know I would have put on my wingtips and a pinstripe suit," he says, stepping into frame and taking her hand. The familiarity is reassuring and almost feels safe. Logan guides her around the living room quickly.
I don't believe I ever saw him without a kitten on his hand
Logan spins her out quickly and moves to flip her over his arm the way they'd learned at a club in city. She lets him move her body around easily. Dancing with Veronica is always so easy; she gets completely into it, full devotion to the task. It didn't hurt that she was basically fearless too.
Well I know you got the answers, yeah that we all wanna know
He dips her and suddenly the tension of maintaining the hold necessary to move like they had been is different. His hand is on her bareback, his face even with her chest. Logan sees little droplet's of sweat in her cleavage and want to swipe his tongue up her sternum. The ending drumbeat is rousing but all he can do is hold her eyes.
The strains of a ukulele come out of the stereo, an abrupt change from the fast song moments earlier.
Come with me my love / to the sea / the sea of love
Logan lifts Veronica out of the dip, steps in closer, and wraps his arm tightly around her, holding her body to his. Taking small steps, he rests his head on top of hers.
I want to tell you / how much I love you
He feels his lips moving, mouthing the lyrics that he can't bring himself to say out loud. He feels Veronica's hand in his squeeze and release.
Do you remember / when we met?
So many years. So much pain. So much happiness. Finding each other again. Growing up. He wants to tell her how he feels so badly. But they've been through so much. Maybe it really is too much and no matter how much he knows he loves her again—never stopped—he can't just drop that on her, not when she's so obviously been avoiding what happened between them.
I want to tell you / how much I love you
He can't help it, he shifts positions and rests his forehead on hers. It feels like senior year when they were so in love that they hated each other and she saved him from eviscerating Gia. And all he wants to do is kiss her. Hold her close. Get lost in the scent of marshmallows and promises.
A shift of her head, their noses touch, a deep breath would bring their lips together. Veronica takes that breath. Her soft lips brush his lightly. A hint of contact.
Come with me my love
Logan drops his hand to her lower back, pulls her flush against him. Exhales and kisses her back. Not the tentative brush she's just offered. He can't contain himself. He needs to get lost in her even if she regrets it later. Her small hand tightens in his, her other on his neck tugging him closer, until there is no space left between them. Tongues exploring. Hearts racing. He wants her—needs her—so much. He feels heat rushing through him but also warmth, sweet, heavy, home. Veronica is home.
I love you
She pulls back. "The food, Logan?"
"What?" he asks, breathless.
"A timer went off."
Logan groans in frustration. "Right," he says, releasing his hold on her.
She grabs his hand, entwines their fingers and follows him into the kitchen. Logan's heart soars. She isn't rejecting him. She isn't running. He reluctantly lets go of her hand and opens the pot, stirs the risotto, and takes a quick taste. Turns off the heat and adds the parmesan cheese while Veronica tries the wine he'd set out earlier.
"Taste?" Logan holds the spoon out to Veronica. She leans in and takes the bite, a little moan slipping through her lips that goes straight to his cock. Logan reaches out and strokes her hip. "More?" Veronica shakes her head. "Aren't you hungry?" She nods and steps closer.
"Starving...for years."
Logan steps in and gently presses his lips to hers, again. Veronica tastes of red wine and hope. It's not the inferno from New Years, but a hot slow burn that's been slowly eating him alive. He's completely in love with Veronica and acknowledging it is both startling and a relief, a comfort.
"Finally." He spins them and sets her on the kitchen island. "I want you. Now."
"Now." She hums against his neck then sucks his pulse into her mouth. Logan runs his hands up her spine and across her shoulders, catching the edge of her dress with his thumbs and dragging it down her arms. She releases her hold on him so she can pull her arms through the straps of the dress.
Logan takes a small step back from the island to admire the view. He hadn't seen Veronica topless in years and somehow she's even more beautiful than he remembers. Small but full breasts, tipped with dark pink nipples that are drawn tight, begging for his kiss. He bends and captures one, flicking his tongue across the nub. A brief glance shows him Veronica with her head thrown back, her chest pushing closer to him, she's moaning deep in her throat. It's heaven and he's barely started.
Veronica's legs wrap around his hips, and she's pulling him into the V of her legs. Her hands try to move to his shirt, so he kisses his way across her chest and up her neck, looking for all the places he'd found years before. Her gasp and fumbling fingers let him know he's on the right track. She pushes his shirt off and him back at the same time, sliding down off the island.
Logan tries to catch his breath, to catch up on what's happening. Veronica is stepping out her dress and pale pink thong. He sees her eyes flick to the cooktop, which is off, and even that's a turn on, he's always been amazed at her multitasking. I'm in so much trouble.
She starts stepping backwards away from him and crooks her finger for him to follow her. Logan navigates the trail of clothes covering the floor between them, unbuttoning his jeans letting them join the other clothes, then his boxers. Veronica is leaning against the breakfast table at the end of the kitchen, her toes digging into the thick rug the table sits on. Logan's breath catches at the sight for her naked and within his reach.
"I guess you really meant it when you said your eyes adored me, huh?" she asks shyly.
"Every part of me adores every part of you." Logan stops and drags a hand down his face, hoping to hide the sincerity of the comment, keeps his eyes closed. "I can't believe I just said that." Before his embarrassment gets the chance to ruin this, Veronica takes matters into her own hands. "God, I can't think when you touch me," Logan says, thrusting into her hands, but still not opening his eyes.
"What about when I do this?" she asks, her breath moist and much lower than he was expecting. Logan opens his eyes and looks down. Veronica is gazing up at him and as their eyes meet she wraps her lips around him.
"Fuck!" She cups his balls and strokes his shaft in tandem with her mouth, her breasts bouncing with each movement. Logan watches her, pleasure coursing through him, until he has to gently push her back. "I'm going to come if you don't stop."
"And?" she asks, moving to take him again, her tongue laving across his head.
"Mmm...no, stop distracting me. I haven't gotten to be inside you in years. I don't want to come in your mouth, Veronica."
She slides her mouth over him again and he trembles. "I don't believe you."
"Fine, of course I want to, but not now. Later?"
She presses a full-lipped kiss to his cock. "Later."
She starts to get up from her knees but Logan drops to his and eases her back. He just watches her for a moment, her cheeks and chest pink with arousal, nipples peaked, he eases her knees apart and groans. "When did you start waxing?"
"After New Years."
"Oh," he says, trying to hide his disappointment. Of course it wasn't for him, how could it have been? He pushes the thought back and focuses back on her body. He runs a finger from her navel over her smooth skin and into her folds. She's dripping wet and it suddenly doesn't matter who she might have done this for because he's the one touching her. He moves up and kisses her, messy, and desperate. He circles his finger around her clit and captures her moan in his mouth, pulls back and watches as he slides his finger back down and presses it into her.
Her eyes widen, a gasp of pleasure. "Lo-gan," she moans, reaches for him, and he kisses her again. Doesn't want to imagine life without her ever again. He slides another finger into her, pumps them gently. He kisses his way down her body, remembering even more spots that had always set her off. Gently bites her hip, sucking just enough to leave a mark.
Veronica's squirming under him now, she's close, some of his favorite memories are of her just like this. He kisses his way to her center and laps at her clit. Her whole body tenses in orgasm, Logan sucks and gently continues to stroke his tongue against her, keeping her orgasm going until the tension melts from her body. He leaves his fingers in her, no longer moving, and kisses his way back up her body.
"I'd forgotten how good that could be," she says, nuzzling against his cheek. "I've dreamed about it, about you, but my fantasies really didn't live up to how good you really are."
This is something he's forgotten, how she babbles and reveals truths when she's like this. "You've had fantasies about me?" he asks.
"All the time. Who else would I have sex fantasies about?" she giggles.
"Do you think about me and touch yourself?" She nods. "Since we've been living together?" She nods again. "Fuck, Veronica, I want to watch." A smile breaks her dreamy look, and she nods again, and wraps her hand around his cock, which is now back to full attention.
"You can watch me anytime, but right now I'm in the mood for some action." Logan pumps his fingers in her carefully, gauging how ready she really is. "I want you, Logan. Please."
He adds a third finger, a breath hisses out of her as her body stretches to accommodate him, and as he resumes pumping his hand a slight tremble spreads through her. Logan slowly draws his fingers out of her and kneels between her legs. Pulls her legs around his hips and drags the head of his cock over her still sensitive clit. He pauses at her entrance and waits until she meets his eyes. Her hand reaches out, strokes his cheek, and he lets himself sink into her. So hot and wet. "Veronica," he moans, having barely filled her halfway. He sees her swallow, take a deep breath, and then he's filling her completely, struggling not to come from how good she feels, how she was always a perfect fit, made for him.
Wanting her closer, Logan slides his hands under her shoulders and rests back onto his heels. Veronica wraps her arms around his neck, coming willingly. Logan shifts his hands to her hips and helps her slide up his length and back down, giving a small thrust with his own hips.
"Mmm...more. God, Logan, more!"
He thrusts harder and moves her faster, thankful for all the weightlifting he does. Her face is buried in his neck and she's clinging to him, chanting nonsense, body trembling all around him and then her inner muscles lock down on him, stealing what little control he has left. And he's coming, her sheath gripping him, pulling him deeper, it feels better than sex has the right to feel. Logan can't bear to pull out of her even as both their bodies calm, so he rolls them to lay on the floor wrapped around each other.
"You don't have a date?" Veronica asks, after a few minutes of just breathing together.
The non-sequitur catches Logan off guard, his fingers skimming lightly along Veronica's leg. "Um...no. No date. My big plans tomorrow were to watch Cary Grant movies with Billie." Veronica leans back, her face scrunched up in confusion. He loves this face and can't hide the smile tugging at his lips.
"But you're Logan Echolls...ladies man extraordinaire."
"Veronica, I haven't been that guy in a while. When was the last time you saw me go on a date?" he asks, stilling his hand, a little hurt that she hasn't noticed that he's grown up—that he isn't a dumb seventeen year old scamming for any tail he can find.
"First week of January," she answers matter-of-factly.
"Excuse me?" Logan pulls away, his now, soft dick coming with him, a spike of discomfort and loss. He ignores it and sits up fully to give Veronica his complete attention and sees she feels it too.
"I heard you. You made a date. Well, you were talking about the date, I think," Veronica says reaching for Logan's discarded shirt and holding it tightly to her chest.
"Veronica, I have no idea what you're talking about." How did we go from being so deep in each other to this? "I haven't been on a date, seen anyone, slept with anyone, in more than six months."
"Don't lie to me, Logan! I'm not crazy. Her name was Svetlana and I heard you making plans to meet up with her!"
Logan can't help but laugh. "That's the name of Dick's new board."
"Board?"
"Yeah. Surf board. You know how he's been coming up to visit more. We've been surfing in Santa Cruz and Capitola. He bought 'Svetlana'—I have no idea why he calls it that—just for norcal surfing."
"But you said she was sexy. And wanted to see her again…"
"I said 'she's a sexy bitch'. I was giving him shit about stealing 'her' from him. He's obsessed with it."
"But you were looking at pictures. And talking about how hot the new wax job was—"
Logan pulls out his phone and quickly brings up the image, turns it to Veronica.
"That's a surfboard."
"Yes, a surfboard. With a fresh wax job. Veronica, did you think I was dating someone else after we kissed on New Years? Is that why you've been on all these dates?"
"Maybe?"
Logan groans in frustration. Six weeks of being miserable. "And why you did this?" He trails his finger across her smooth mons, eliciting a shiver. She nods. He kisses her, trying to convey how he feels. He breaks the kiss. "I thought...I thought you'd decided it was a mistake."
"Aarrggh! We are such idiots! Years of learning to be honest with each other and we fell right back into being teenagers." Veronica collapses back on the floor next to Logan.
"I'm so sorry. I should have just told you the next day—"
"No, I should have. For fucks sake we picked out a dog together. The second guy I went out with told me he didn't need my number because all I did was talk about you."
Logan grabs her and kisses her, rolling until she's on top of him. "I guess just being friends isn't really an option anymore, huh?"
Veronica's face shuts down, the opposite of what he intended. "Is that what you want?" she asks sitting up and moving away from him. "To just be friends?"
"No!" He puts his hand on her hip, holding her in place, but lightly enough that she can move if she wants. "I...what do you want?" He feels shy and exposed, and it has nothing to do with being naked.
"You first," she says.
Logan sits up, buying himself a few seconds while he adjust her position in his lap. He wants her, all of her, but he's terrified that even with everything she's just admitted that once she hears him say it she'll run. He blows out a breath and tucks stray strands of hair behind Veronica's ear. "I can't believe how nervous I am," he admits, resting his forehead on hers as he'd done earlier.
"Nervous because you're going to crush my feelings or because you're afraid I'm going to crush yours?" she asks, just louder than a whisper.
"That you'll crush mine." Logan kisses her quickly, in case it's his last chance.
She smiles against his lips. "I love you, Logan."
It feels like he's been shot or shocked. She's tased him. It has to be. He's now unconscious or hallucinating. He drops his hand to her ass and pinches her.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm not dreaming."
"You're supposed to pinch yourself, Logan! And I'm kind of hanging here…"
He folds his legs under and pushes up to standing on unsteady legs. Grasps the globes of her ass to hold her to him, his returning erection sliding against her core. He kisses her deeply, stumbling and twirling his way through the living room, where Billie is still sound asleep—sends a thank you out into the universe to whomever came up with the idea of dog parks!—and finally makes it to the hall and into his bedroom collapsing onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.
Veronica's giggling and writhing under him as Logan attacks her with his lips, kissing and tickling her. It's the most wonderful sound he's ever heard. Happiness.
"Logan! Stop!" She's laughing hard, twisting and squealing.
"Say it again!"
"What?"
"Tell me you love me again," he says stopping his assault.
"Logan Echolls, I love you."
She's glowing and he feels light in a way he didn't know was possible. "I love you so much, Veronica Mars."