They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone, they show up on their own
Kitty knew her bitch facade wouldn't last for long. It is the thing that keeps everyone away and a safe distance, that way she won't get hurt more that she is. She has to do it because no one knew what was her life like, no one would understand why she does all the horrible things. She had to make herself feel better by tearing everyone around her down. She needed to feel stronger but the truth was, she was broken inside.
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say "Just push them down, just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon?"
Her life has been a hell since she could remember. Her father is always drinking since her mother died when she was only five years old. He blamed her for her dead and he made sure to remember that every chance he got. The violence in her house is a nightmare but there's nothing she can do because he is the only family she has left and if she says something about it she would pay for it. He has threatened her many times to keep her mouth shut or else. Maybe they were empty threats but she couldn't take the risk. So she just pretends that everything's okay and puts a mask on her face.
So angels, angels please just keep on fightingAngels don't give up on me today
No one has been able to see through her. Not until she began her sophomore year and this sweet girl that had everyone's heart in the palm of her hand came into her life without a warning with her big smile that couldn't be erased even if there was a gun pointed at her head. Maybe that was an exaggeration but still.
She had made her life mission to torture the girl because if she couldn't be happy, no one could. Of course, that didn't stop the brunette girl from caring about her.
She knew Marley was in the glee club and since she liked to sing, it would be killing two birds with one stone. So she decided to join the club of losers to stay close to her and figure out ways in which she could tear her down. And she did. The girl's weakness was her mother's weight. She was insecure and Kitty took advantage of that.
'Cause the demons they are there, they just keep biting
'Cause inner demons just won't go away
But then she knew she had taken it so far when the fragile girl passed out in the middle of their first performance. She felt so guilty but she couldn't do anything if she wanted to keep her emotions inside.
Her father had hit her again because she couldn't do anything right and they had lost sectionals, she knew this time was her fault. If she hadn't been so centered in destroying the brunette girl she would have seen that something wasn't right.
She went to school the next day and ran to the bathroom to cry, it was the only time she had done that in a place where she could be seen. And of course, Marley had to enter and call her pretty and be so nice that made her feel more guilty. It was like Marley could see past the walls she had built upon herself. It was terrifying but so it felt so nice.
So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain, life's not fair
So now sitting on a bench in the small park of her neighborhood she thinks. She wants to escape that life without looking back. No one would care. She made sure to push everyone away from her and no one cares if she suddenly left. She has thought a few times to cut herself. There were many times where she would have the razor blade just above her wrist but she couldn't take the next step. She was a coward.
Silent tears run down her cheeks. If there was nothing left for her why couldn't she just cut the pain away and end it all?
So angels please, please stay here
Take the pain, take the fear
"Kitty?" She hears from her left. Of course it had to be the brunette girl of all people. It was the second time she founds her crying.
They say it won't be hard, they can't see the battles in my heartBut when I turn away
The demons seem to stay
She wipes her cheeks quickly and turns her head away from the girl. "What do you want, Walmart?" She didn't want to say that but she had to.
'Cause inner demons don't play well with angels
They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise
"Are you okay?"
No. She wants to say but she doesn't want to look weak. She stays silent and Marley sits down next to her.
Angels please protect me from these rebels
This is a battle I don't want to lose
"You can talk to me, Kitty. I don't judge."
Kitty feels like opening up to her, she wants Marley to comfort her and tell he everything will be fine.
So angels, angels please just keep on fightingAngels don't give up on me today
She doesn't know where that thought came from but is there and she can't shake it off so she goes and opens her mouth to speak.
'Cause the demons they are there, they just keep biting
'Cause inner demons just won't go away
"I hate my life." She whispers, a silent tear running down her cheek. Marley listens carefully and waits for her to continue. "Everyone hates me and think I'm a monster, my father keeps blaming me killing my mother and he calls me a failure.If I show any sign that I'm about to cry he says tells me how weak I am and I feel like I'm going to break at any second. I just want this pain to go away but I tried everything. I didn't even have the guts to cut myself, no wonder why my father hates me. I'm a coward."
She starts crying and buries her face between her hands. She feels a pair of arms around her and she hold on the girl's shirt while crying her eyes out.
So angels, angels please keep on fightingAngels don't give up on me today
"You're not a coward and I don't think you're a monster." Marley whispers softly. "You're just being hurt for too long. And crying right now doesn't mean weakness, it means you've been strong for too long."
Kitty sniffles and pulls away from the girl. "I still don't get why are you being nice to me." Her voice is shattered.
'Cause the demons they are there, they just keep biting
'Cause inner demons just won't go away
"Because I see who you really are, Kitty. You're a girl that needs someone to talk to. And I want to be your friend, you can trust me with anything and I won't never do anything to make you feel like you are less than perfect."
Kitty chuckled half-heartedly. "I'm far from perfect. I'm broken and there's nothing you or I can do."
"Even if you think that, I'm going to make sure you believe you are worth it. That even though you are mean to us, the glee club is a family and we care about you. I can't do anything about your father, he is who he is, but I can give you a reason to live."
"There's hardly a reason for me to live, Marley."
Marley grabs her hand and stands up. She leads her to a place she didn't know before. It was a small lake.
"Look around you." She moves her hands around them to make the point. "This is the only place that makes everything worth living for."
They walk slowly towards the lake and sit down. There were a few ducks closer. She sees a little duckling gets close to her and looks at her with curious eyes. Kitty smiles down and the duckling runs back to its mother.
"You see? There's a lot of beauty if you just sit here. Look." Marley points to the bush not so far from where they were standing. There is a butterfly standing on a rose. It is a mix of many colors and it has its wings wide open so they can admire all the color patterns. It starts flying around them and Kitty looks in awe as it stops on Marley's shoulder.
She would never have thought it was possible but maybe Marley was an angel trying to keep her safe. The butterfly flies away and they watch as it gets lost in the distance.
So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain, life's not fair
So angels please, please stay here
Take the pain, take the fear
"Marley." She calls the girl.
Marley looks at her with her bright blue eyes. "Yeah?"
"Thank you."
Marley closes the distance between them and hugs her. "Your life matters, Kit."
Kitty exhales harshly. "There will be times when I push you away."
"I won't give up on you today or tomorrow or even in ten years. I will make sure you know what it feels like to be loved."
Kitty closes her eyes and smiles. This time happy tears are rolling down her cheeks. That's what she needed. Her own angel lookin out for her and for the first time, she believed that everything would be okay.