Jensen's POV
Dead Man Walking
There's only a thin line between life and death
Where your whole destiny is hanging by a thread
I have been given a new chance at life
A chance I didn't ask for
Life insisting on cheating death
On my expense
It is said that you never know what you have until you lose it
Unaware of how blessed we are; we always want more and more
Who knew the end would only be the beginning
The beginning of a mysterious feeling
Of something missing
A past life
A past death
A new life
A new destiny
My near death experience
That which could have been my end
Somehow turned to be my new beginning
It has given me a new meaning to the word cherish
I now cherish every minute, every hour, every day
I have always given my all
But never have I gained it all
Until I lost it all
Freedom is my new high
No chains, no strains
Finally leading my own life, my own beliefs, my own destiny
There are a lot of indigested thoughts floating around
Trying to bypass my mind and go straight to my gut
I now think critically about everything in life
About life
About death
About life and death as a cycle
As a complementary whole
*
I was born to be a doctor
To be like my father
To save lives
But never have I understood this purpose beyond the pages of a medical textbook
Until she saved my life
Giving my life, though not my soul, an extended period of time
Putting death on hold
She strikes me with her charismatic presence
Passionate, driven
Strong, devoted and ambitious
She has given me this wondrous gift
The gift of life
A second chance
I was told never to accept a fatalistic view of life
Now I understand why
Miracles can happen
She is my love
She is my life
She is my miracle
*
But how can I ever return the favor
Is there a price for life?
Amazing how much we take life for granted
And even more amazing how we fail to understand death
To feel it
To touch it
To allow it
To honor it
I lit candles to bless the souls of loved ones
Of those who walked through the valley of the shadow of death
The souls of the deceased
Who are now free of earthly bounds
And I lit one more
For a soul roaming the earth
Stuck in between life and death
Governed by limitations of vitality
Yet freed by the vastness of fatality
Why is it that when I go to sleep at night
I see them
I feel them
Why is it that with the dead I feel alive
She saved my life, yet a part of me still died
A lifeless life
A soulless body
I'm a dead man walking
*
Author's Notes
Special Thanks to Lara for the help, the information and the inspiration!