(we don't go back and edit, so please expect billions of typos and grammar erros ohoh, but thats the point k...)
DFJHGDSJGSFKJSHFJKS chptr 1
Red sat down, tired from drinking seven water bottles in one gulp. He had just run a twenty-five mile marathon though, but that's not what made him tired. For actually completing the marathon, the directors awarded him those waterbottles. And since he drank them in one gulp, Red had even more fans now. Red then suddenly had a heart attack. His fans mourned him.
Somewhere in Miami, Gold was brushing his teeth when he noticed some dead bugs on the wall. He screamed and spit out his toothpaste and gagged on his toothbrush. He swung his leg around onto the sink, and then fell backwards into some urine samples. The samples were for Gold's mercury levels.
Ruby was brushing his hair grossly. He had a srs hair problem. It was really fizzy and weird and like a black person's yeah you heard me. He tried to plug in the straightener but got electrocuted because his hand was wet what a dumbass. Sapphire came over later and found him and kicked him in the spleen while simultaneously ordering a milkshake from steak n' shake.
Diamond was working away in his kitchen. Yeah. His kitchen. He was a fucking chef de cuisine, bitches! Anyways some bitch ordered a Tauros burger. Except it wasn't Mcdonalds so his manager came in and said he should beat that bitch down for ordering that shit here. Dia was a nice kid though and made it anyways. He even took it to said bitch, but he stumbled and fell like a lego block into a Pepsi can.
Later that evening, all four woke up in the same Hospital room. Two from knocking themselves out, one from clogged KFC arteries, and one from hair syndrome (not electrocution). Ruby immediately asked if his hair was okay and where the hell was his hat only to be ignored. Well Dia didn't ignore him he's a nice kid but whatever. Red and Gold were talking about how to mix marmalade but they got it all wrong so Dia butt in but they got angry at him and Ruby thought Gold smelt awful and Shaymin rolled under a sewage tank.
SUDDENLY the TV came on and Brad Pitt talked to them about proper castrating. All of them took this as a sign and got really scared. Dia found out he felt fine so he got up and walked over to the telephone to call his bffff, Pearkl. The Telephone turned into a V8 can and he got rly scared and fell backwards onto Gold's bed and Gold is Pansexual/Bisexual so immediately started to say weird shit at him and Red tried to get him to stop while still stitting in his bed with his foot elevated in a dling. Ruby burst into tears.
A really wasted nnurse came in and took Ruby's blood pressure. Then left and changed the channel to INDIANA JONES from four rooms down. They all watched INDIANA JONES.
HJFSJSGOIRWIOYUIX chaprr 7
Ruby sped into a green cellophane container. It burst into flames and he got rly hot. He left the room and Gld noticed and nothing weird happened. They all were trying to find out the SECRET OF THE MAYANS in som Mayan ruins. It all started when INSIANA JONES came on TV and they all started daydreaming about being amazing heroes like that then Red discovered five thousand history books in his hair and they all left on a journey.
Red had ate Greeen's cream cheese and blackmailed Green to give he money for a plane ticket or he'd eat his cream cheese forever. Gold had a rich daddy. Ruby was a rich designer dude. Dia wasa chef duh I bet he had his own TV show like "COOKING WITH DIA" or "DIAMOND CUTTERLY" where he chopped shit or "DIA DILLERLY" where he made dilled pickles. Anyways they all hopped on a plane fourty days ago and drank waterbottles. The planes had cardboard boxes to sit on and all of them collapsed and everyone was miserable.
At the ruins again, Dia had gotten lost in a taped up Calcium Enriched soda can. He was scared iut of his mind so he tried to run for the exit but got tape all over his hands now he had tape mittens oh no. Red was eating bugs on the wall because it seemed to be a good source of nutrition but they turned out to be poisonous and he fell into a vast black hole.
Gold was running over a ditch with Ruby into a jungle of rotating quilfish. The quifish shot out spikes of pain sand used bubble pain beam at them. They had to be really clever and hop on the rotating single cells without getting hit. Gold got out his cue and vaulted onto a leaf. Ruby tried to fling himself over too, but failed. Gold saw his failure and threw his arm out and punched ruby's nose. Ruby flew into the exit and Gold fell forward into a abyss screaming "DON'T FORGET ME". Bury cried a little then got up and went into the next room.
At the bottom of a black ditch Gold fell on top of Red who was trying to enjoy nachos.
"why are you eatin those"
"they cancel the poison"
"o u liar"
Then Gold grazed Red's scalp with a handkerchief and it turned into a kite. He threw away his Mantine and Red' aeurodactyl and threw them both out of the hole with the kite. Gold screamed something about Silver really loud and burst into tears.
Ruby found Dia struggling to get rape off his hands. He convinced him to give up and that he would always have tape on his hands very srsly. Then they both went into the last room. Inside there was a golden togeoi egg. DIa thought it looked tasty and tried to eat it, but Ruby slapped his mittens which knocke d him out. Gold and Red joined up with them and Red and Ruby took turns holding the egg while Gold carried Dia like a damsel as they tried to escape the now randomly collapsing ruins.
They got uoit unharmed and all went home and never told a soul they put the Togetpu egg on the black market and. Red ran more marathons. Gold and ruby brushed each others hair. Dia learnedto cook with tape on his hands. Mantine and Aerodactyl died in those ruins.