Now FFN, let this publish thing work NOW. I've been trying all day. Let this one single thing work when everything else in my life won't. Publish publish pub--UGH yeah this is FFN not LJ. Got it. DX ..ehr, if this actually gets published successfully, please ignore my li'l rant. The publish feature won't work I'm so frustrated. Heheh.
Never Enough
Written by Justine JBV / Chibi Botan
By reflex I saved him, the one they called Mitarai, without thinking that by doing so I will endanger myself.
It was to my surprise when he asked me why I saved him—wasn't he from the enemy's team? Hadn't he tried to hurt all of us?
And that was the only answer I could give him. That it was just a reflex action. It was nothing.
While he's bordering on the shock and disbelief that an enemy would help him, I marvel on the fact that I rarely get the right to do this—to help someone without holding myself back.
Selfless, a little heroic, they thought of what I did.
But for me, it is not entirely so. Others would do the same in my place. Well, maybe not everyone would, but I think some would still do it without hesitation.
When they help others, I see it as a heroic act.
As for me, I believe that I owe the human race all the help I can give whenever I'm not prohibited from doing it. It's the least I can do.
As a ferrygirl, you see, I deal with accidents and tragedies— every single day. When I go out to work, I have this guidebook, and I would know in advance the mishaps that will befall the living. You can only imagine how hard it is to know what will happen, and be restrained from preventing it. With a job like this, you must learn to curb down your instincts.
We are not allowed to save. We cannot let our feelings get to us. We have to believe that everything happen for a reason, and accept that we are here for the aftershock, and not to stop an incident.
For the souls we cannot save, I do the most I could do for them.
I would smile. I would try to cheer them up, try to give them hope. I would try to make them understand that there are things we cannot prevent, like death. I would talk about happy things, and often silly things, try to take their minds off of what just happened to them.
Anything to make up for the fact that I knew what would happen to them, but had to ignore the desire to save them.
So on the few chances like this when I am not prohibited from helping; I let myself go ahead without thinking of anything else.
But I always end up thinking that whatever I do, it would never be enough.
Maraming salamat po sa pagbasa. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Not a panel from the manga, not a scene from the anime. Standard disclaimers apply.
Notes: Written in Botan's POV, but she's probably out of character. I was trying to see if I could write a character sketch but this is the only thing I came up with. I don't know if this could be considered a character sketch or not. So I thought I'd post and maybe someone would tell me what they thought of it.