Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood) or its characters, much to my chagrin. This will be a Roy/Ed pairing. No yaoi. Mostly fluff. Don't like it? Move on. Reviews are most definitely welcomed as this will be my first published story. Forewarning, I will predominately be following the original anime version of FMA since it was the first version I watched.
Summary: Edward has a nightmare about Roy and their relationship. Can Roy help him?
Edward Elric woke up covered in a thin sheen of sweat and panting. He looked across the bed he shared with his lover of 2 years and saw him in bed next to him, sleeping peacefully, with his arm across Eds chest. Ed watched Roy as he slept, like he usually did after he had a nightmare but this time it didn't help lull him back to sleep. Ed was no stranger to nightmares, having suffered them most nights while he was fighting to get his brother his body back. But this nightmare had been different. It had started out the same, his mum, Al and Nina all blaming him for their deaths or near deaths but then Roy had shown up and had told him that the last two years had been a joke, that he'd never love a half-metal freak when he had so many other people who were whole and not complete fuck-ups like he was to chose from. The nightmare had ended with Ed begging him to stop saying those things and Roy laughing in his face. Slowly, so as not to wake his lover up, he slipped out of bed and made his way downstairs, moving as softly as he was able to with his automail foot. Turning the light on in the kitchen, after pausing to check Roy hadn't woken up, he made himself a tea and went to curl up on the couch. Wrapping his flesh hand around the mug, he took a sip and proceeded to get wrapped up in his thoughts about his nightmare. He was so preoccupied that he hadn't noticed that Roy had woken up until he felt the couch shift next to him. Startled, he turned around only to face his lover and instantly felt guilty. He must've been nosier than he thought he was.
"Sorry for waking you. Why don't you go back up to bed? We've gotta be up early." Roy frowned at the look on Eds face before he spoke. He knew it must've been a nightmare that woke the blonde but he'd always managed to go back to sleep soon after.
"You had a nightmare, didn't you?" His voice was full of concern and Ed felt even worse. There was no way he could tell Roy about it. He'd just think Ed was being stupid or worse, he'd act like he had in the nightmare. So Ed decided to tell him a partial lie.
"Yeah but it was just my normal nightmare. I can deal with it so why don't you go back to sleep? I'll be alright." He tried to smile and look okay but he knew from Roy's face that he handed fooled him. "Seriously, I'll be okay. I'll come back up once I've finished my cuppa." But Roy was having none of it. Moving closer to his blonde, he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer so his head was on his chest.
"What happened? Normally your nightmares don't have you coming down here to deal with them." He felt Ed sigh against him and try to push up but Roy held firm. "I'm not going upstairs until you tell me, either." Ed rolled his eyes at the mans stubbornness but he still couldn't bring himself to tell him.
"It was nothing, I swear. It was just my normal nightmares." Repeated Ed.
"You really are a terrible liar, you know that? You have those nightmares all the time but you've never come down here since we started dating." Ed flinched before he could stop himself and Roy knew he'd hit close to the truth.
"Does it have something to do with me?" He asked softly, rubbing circles on to Eds back. Feeling the comforting action made Ed feel even guiltier for his inability to keep Roy from realising that something was wrong and before he knew it, he'd buried his head into Roy's chest.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Roy asked in the same soft tone as he grabbed Eds chin and gently turned his head so that he was looking Roy in the eye. "Is this about the nightmare? Ed, love, what happened?" Ed felt tears prick his eyes at the worry in Roy's voice and tried to force himself to hod them back. Even after two years of dating the man, Ed refused to show any weakness in front of him. But he also knew Roy's insistence of getting the truth was also just as strong so he sighed and gave in.
"It started out like all my other nightmares. First Mum blaming me for not being able to save her when she was sick then for the pain I caused her when I activated that array and nearly killed Al. Then she disappeared and Al took her place, blaming me for being trapped in that armour for all those years. And then Nina and Alexander appeared and morphed into that chimera, blaming me for not being able to transmute them back to normal before they were killed. Then they disappeared and you came." He could feel the hot tears threaten to escape and struggled even more to keep them at bay. "You came and you said that... You said that dating me was all a big joke and that I shouldn't be surprised since no one would want to date a half-metal fuck up like me." He rushed the last part out, afraid that if he even hesitated he'd never start again. He felt Roy tense beside him and the next thing he knew, he had strong arms wrapped tightly around him. Ed buried his face in his shirt, losing the battle against the tears.
"Is that what you really think?" Mustang asked. He knew Ed had some self-esteem issues, having noticed the little signs even before they started dating. He should've realised that Ed would eventually question what Roy saw in him and cursed himself for not realising it sooner.
"I know it's stupid and ridiculous. I know you love me but sometimes..." Ed managed to finally stop the onslaught of tears but winced when he heard his watery voice.
"What? Sometimes what, Ed?" Roy asked gently and Ed knew he owed the man the whole truth.
"Sometimes I wonder why you choose me? Why date me when you could have anyone better? Someone whole? Not just physically either. Someone who's not as screwed up as I am." A sense of relief washed over the young mans body as one of his biggest worries had been shared. He felt Roy's eyes on him and met them with a golden gaze.
"Ed, I love you. And I don't ever want to love anyone other than you. I love everything about you. I'd never ask for anything to change or to try and change you because I love you just as you are. And you are whole. Your automail is proof of what you've lost and gained in this life. It tells the world that you're a force to reckoned with. I'm not going to leave you just because of your automail. I don't plan on leaving you ever because I am so in love with you, even Havoc tells me to shut up about you. I promise that I'm not going to stop trying to show you that you are worth everything to me." Ed was stunned. Roy had told him he'd loved him before but he'd never said anything like that and it honestly took Eds brain a couple of seconds to process exactly what Roy had said. He didn't even know what to say back so he settled for wrapping his arms tightly around Roy and drawing Roy in for a kiss.
"I love you too, Roy. And I'm so sorry for doubting you." Ed said as they pulled apart.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. Doubts are natural in every relationship. Sometimes I wonder why you chose me," Ed opened his mouth to answer but Roy hadn't finished yet "but then I remember how you looked when I first told you that I loved you and I knew that you loved me back before you told me. So you have nothing to be sorry for, Ed. Just promise me that if you ever start to doubt us again that you'll come to me straight away and tell me?"
"I promise." The blonde whispered as he smiled up at Roy, who grinned back.
"Now let's go get some sleep so Hawkeye doesn't shoot us both for being late." Roy joked as he moved the blonde off his lap and stood, extending his hand to help his lover up. Ed grabbed the offered hand and felt himself being pulled to his feet. Roy began to move towards the stairs that led to their room when Ed pulled him back. Surprised at the sudden tug, Roy turned back and felt Eds warm lips on his own. Closing his eyes, Roy returned the kiss, placing one hand on Eds waist and one on the back of his neck to deepen the kiss and he felt the blondes arms wrap around his neck in response. When they both pulled away for air, they were panting slightly. Ed smiled at Roy before pulling him to their bedroom, both soon buried under the blankets once again. Roy wrapped his arms around his young lover and Ed sighed happily, moving closer into Roy so that his face was nestled in the crook of Roy's neck.
"I love you, Roy."
"I love you too, Ed."
