Tomorrow Never Says Hi
By:Majin Vegeta
Great google moogle! I have come up with yet another stupid idea for a Trigun fic! (Oh come on, you can't stop reading now...you just opened the fic up!!!!) This time around you'll find a plot, well if you look hard enough. From what I understand, it's plot hunting season 'round these parts and they aren't too easy to find. If you can find one for me, I'd like to shot it in the head. Thanks! ^_^
Note:Hey guys, I have a secret. This fic is non-canon...yet again. I bet that came as a surprise! Also, the James Bond title theme is still continuing...if you don't like the 007 title theme, I could always resort to using a Land Before Time title theme...or something. Oh, and on another note, tomorrow never *does* say hi anymore. Stupid tomorrow!
********
Well, in the last random fic we left our friends in they were wandering to another town. They happened to come to another 'normal' city filled with 'normal' citizens...yeah, and Vash doesn't have three guns, please. Anyway, the name of the new town that they have stumbled upon is called Tick-Tock, a town filled with lots of clocks and stuff. You see, in Tick-Tock, time was *REALLY* important. Now that we know what the motif throughout this story is, let's set up some minor little plot details shall we?
Okay, so Tick-Tock was keen on keeping time. Naturally there was a fiendish fiend who wanted Tick-Tock to slow down their beloved town or else they'd send a clown. (Look at my mad rhyming skills, g'dawg). Okay, that fiendish fiend wasn't really going to send a clown, I just did it to rhyme. Please forgive me. The bad guy of this story, however, *did* insist that Tick-Tock stop keeping time. His name was S.T. Opwatch and it was a pretty bad pun of a name, at that. Yeah, I'm going Samurai Pizza Cats on your asses! Whoo! Errrr....anyway, let's go to Mr. Opwatch's lair of evilness.
At Opwatch's Lair of Profound Evilness and Such...
::The evil S.T. Opwatch is staring at a big clock at his ceiling and cursing at it::Opwatch:Accursed clock, you tell time so very well! How I hate things that tell time!
::The camera pans back to show a pretty girl trapped in a cage::
Pretty Girl:You'll never get away with this Opwatch! Mayor O'Clock and the Tick-Tock Police Force will be after you soon! By the way you jerk, why do you hate things that tell time so much anyway?
Opwatch:Oh shut up Tomorrow! I'm glad you asked that Tomorrow, daaaaaarling...
Tomorrow: ::Sweatdrops:: Don't talk like that you baka!
Opwatch:Shut up, I captured you and I can talk to you anyway I want! I don't think our relationship is working out here, baby!
Tomorrow:We don't have a relationship you freaking moron! Now just tell me your stupid #%^#% story about hating things that tell time so we can get on with stupid fic!!!!
Opwatch: ::Grumbling to himself:: This is why I cry myself to sleep all the time. ::Speaks up:: Okay, there was a time in my life where I loved time tellers so much. But one day, a clock gave me the wrong time because it was set wrong...and I ended up being late to EVIL SCHOOL! I'm not up to my evil potential because of that STUPID clock! That's why I hate things that tell time!
Tomorrow: ::Has multiple sweatdrops behind her head:: Kami, you're such a BAKA!!!!!!!!!!
Opwatch:Shut up Tomorrow, I'll get my talking pet wombat Today on you tomorrow, Tomorrow!!!!
::That confusing sentence has been brought to you by Chrono Chips, the chips that you'll be able to eat at any time::
Tomorrow: ::Grunts:: Fine, I'll shut up because I don't want to be eaten by your talking pet wombat Today, tomorrow!
Opwatch:Good!
Tomorrow:Fine!
::Opwatch's pet wombat, Today walks in::
Today:Awwww, and I was hungry too.
Opwatch:Don't worry, you'll be able to eat some unruly mobs when they show up. But for now...you can have some Chrono Chips. ::Hands Today a bag of Chrono Chips and smiles cheesily::
Today:Oh cool! Yay! ::Takes a chip out of the bag and eats it:: Wow, that's the best tasting chip ever! ::Smiles cheesily as well::
Now for the main plot (MV:Ah-ha! There's a plot, SHOOT IT!!!!!), errr....and now for more random events that will have to do...
Well, since I never indicated where Vash and the crew were at, I'll tell you in this paragraph here. Okay, so Vash-tachi were all shopping at the Swinging Pendulum Paintball Gun Shoppe and Bingo Hall. Vash was talking to the cashier. Milly and Wolfwood were in the corner checking out a nice gun rack (if ya know what I mean, heh heh ^_^), and Meryl was filing some of her reports for Bernadali.
Now that the mini-plot has been finished, let's start our next expedition into my strange mind....
Vash: ::Pointing at a paintball gun:: So, does this BB Gun use carbon dioxide or is it spring loaded?
Cashier:Ummm sir, we only sell paintball guns here...
Vash:Oh yeah, I knew that. ::Grumbles about forgetting to read the ENTIRE sign:: Ummmm so, what kind of paint do you shoot with?
Cashier:Well, we usually use colored paint. ::Checks his watch and gasps:: Do you know what time it is, sir?
Vash:Uhhhh....mail time?
Cashier:No! It's time for the Tick-Tock town sing along. ::Turns on a radio really quickly::
::Out of the radio comes the voice of a disc jockey::
Disc Jockey:Hey, hey, hey...look what time it is. It's time for our Tick-Tock anthem sing along. Here we go. ::Starts singing:: Tomorrow, tomorrow, we love you tomorrow.
::Everybody in Tick-Tock sings along to the song, except Vash-tachi cause they don't know the song (hey, I had to think of a good reason). Soon after the sing along is over and everything is back to normal::
Vash:So, what's that about?
Cashier:Well, we sing that song so Mayor O'Clock's beloved daughter, Tomorrow, will escape from the evil Opwatch's clutches.
Vash:Oh, okay. ::Blinks, then realizes that these names seem a little fishy...just like the names of the people he met in Bakeryville and Nekoburg:: That isn't very practical is it?
Cashier:Errr, nope...
Meanwhile, at the gun rack....
Wolfwood:Yep, that's a gun rack all right Milly...maybe we should 'check it out' some more. ::Winks at Milly::
Milly: ::Blinks:: Errrr, not now Wolfwood-san! ::Whispers:: They're focusing on us right now, so we can't do that!
Wolfwood:All right, all right...fine. I'll just deliberately shorten my life by smoking a nice, satisfying cigarette that will ultimately give me lung cancer! ::Gets out a cigarette and goes outside to smoke::
Milly:I wonder how Wolfwood-san can keep doing that?
Meanwhile, back to the main stuff...
Vash:Ummm, so where is this Tomorrow girl captured at?
Cashier:The Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower.
Vash:Oh, okay. Ummmmm, why don't you just go and save her?
Cashier:I dunno...
Vash:You love her, don't you?!?!
Cashier: ::Blinks:: Errr, yeah but...how did you know that?
Vash:I didn't know it, that's just a question I like to ask.
Cashier:Oh. ::Sweatdrops:: Ummm, my name is Millisecond and I'd really like to save Tomorrow, will you help me Mr. Guy?
Vash:Uhhh sure I guess. Me and my friends will be glad to help you!
Millisecond:Okay, cool! We just got to go see Mayor O'Clock and tell him so we can plan for the perils of the tower.
Vash:Uhhh okay. Hey guys, come on....we're off on another dumb adventure!
::Meryl stops filing her reports and walks to Vash, Milly also walks to Vash and Wolfwood comes in with a bear wearing clothes following behind him::
Wolfwood:Oh be quiet, there ain't no forests around here Smoky! I can't *cause* a forest fire in the middle of the desert!
Smoky the Bear:Remember kids, only you can prevent forest fires!
Wolfwood:There's not even a tree around here, let alone a freaking forest!
::Smoky walks away::
Wolfwood:Baka!
Vash:Come Team Vash, we must help this poor boy's lover out!
Millisecond:Ummmm Vash-san, I'm not Tomorrow's lover...I wish I was though, but I ain't.
Meryl:Yeah Vash, and we're not Team Vash!
Vash:Okay okay, sheesh! ::Blinks:: Ummmm, why aren't you Tomorrow's lover?
Millisecond:It's because Tomorrow never says hi!
::Vash-tachi all sweatdrop::
Vash:You...
Wolfwood:...can't...
Milly:...be...
Meryl:...serious.
Millisecond:Yep, I'm serious. But I'd love to be Tomorrow's lover, to have her in bed with me. Just me and her alone....in bed. ::At that very thought, the poor guy's nose bleeds like a fire hydrant::
Wolfwood: ::Shoves a few tissues up Millisecond's nose so he stops bleeding:: You really need to get your mind off of things like that.
Millisecond:You're right! We have to focus on saving Tomorrow from Opwatch! Let's go guys, to Mayor O'Clock's office! ::Dramatically points finger in air::
Vash: ::Looking at a piece of paper:: Uhhh, Millisecond? That was *my* line....
Millisecond:Oh, whoops! Oh well, no harm done, right?
Vash:Yeah, I guess. Now you just gotta worry about all the Vash fans getting on your back for stealing my line.
Millisecond:Oh all right, sounds like fun.
Meryl:So can we get on with this or what?
Millisecond:Yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean...
::Vash-tachi fall over::
Wolfwood:The correct answer would be 'yes', Millisecond.
Millisecond:All right, then yes I shall answer!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: This is going to be a *long, long* day.
Vash:All right, so let's go gang! To the Mystery Machine!
::The others all sweatdrop simultaneously, and then they leave to go to Mayor O'Clock's office::
Meanwhile, at Opwatch's lair...
::Opwatch is sitting at a computer he got from who knows where and it just happens to freeze up on him::
Opwatch: ::Curses:: Damn Windows 98, you shall be the death of all my evil plans!
::In the background, the loud giggling of Tomorrow can be heard::
Opwatch:SHUT UP TOMORROW!
Tomorrow: ::Laughing hysterically:: No, you big fat loser! You didn't even upgrade your software! What a moron!
Opwatch: ::Growls:: That does it!!!!!
Tomorrow: ::Arches eyebrows:: That does what?
Opwatch:I'm going to make you sorry you called me a big fat loser!
Tomorrow: ::Sarcastically:: Yeah, right....
Opwatch: ::Growls again:: Today, get the SECRET WEAPON!
::Opwatch's pet wombat walks in with a giant feather::
Tomorrow:You *have* to be kidding! ::Sweatdrops::
Opwatch:Oh no, I am *so* not kidding! You will regret calling me names! Mwahahaha!
Tomorrow:Whatever, loser.
Opwatch: ::Growls:: Today, start the FIENDISH TICKLE TREATMENT!
Today:All right, master. ::Starts employing the FIENDISH TICKLE TREATMENT on Tomorrow using the SECRET WEAPON::
Tomorrow: ::Laughing uncontrollably now that's she is being tickled:: You guys hahaha are the worst hahaha villains I've ever hahahaha seen hahahaha!
Opwatch:Use the full force of the SECRET WEAPON!
Today:All right boss! ::Does so and Tomorrow keeps laughing like a hyena watching George Carlin (strange simile yes? ^_^)::
Meanwhile, back to the main plot....which just happened to be shot in the head by a fanfic author who just happened to resemble me...
::Vash and the crew arrive outside of Mayor O'Clock's office::
Millisecond:Here we are, right outside of Mayor O'Clock's office! He'll probably tell us something important, I bet ya!
Milly: ::Blinks:: Important, what do you mean important?
Millisecond:I dunno, maybe something like the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower is filled with all sorts of traps and powerful guardians and whatnot.
Vash:Uhhhh, why didn't you just tell us that before?
Millisecond:You know Vash, I just don't know. Maybe it's because I'm supposed to foreshadow now?
Vash: ::Sweatdrops:: I don't think so.
Wolfwood:Like I said, this is going to be a LOOOOONG day.
Vash:I couldn't agree with you more.
Meryl:Well, let's at *least* get this over with.
Millisecond: ::Nods:: All right. ::Knocks on the door::
Vash:Ummm, isn't it sort of customary to go inside and ask for the mayor?
Millisecond: ::Blinks:: Oh yeah! ::Vash-tachi all sweatdrop as Millisecond opens the door and they enter. It's your basic mayor's office type of place, with a secretary in the front and stuff like that. Just picture City Hall, because I really don't feel like describing it anymore than I did::
Secretary:Yeeeeees?
Millisecond:We have to see Mayor O'Clock.
Secretary:One minute please. ::Gets out a megaphone and yells in it:: MAYOR O'CLOCK, YOU HAVE VISITORS!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: That sure isn't normal.
::The mayor walks into the room::
Mayor O'Clock:What can I do for you Secretary Sundial? Do you need another session with the 'Ten Hour Man?' ::Arching eyebrows at the Secretary as if suggesting something::
Secretary Sundial:No, not now sir. You have *actual* visitors this time.
Mayor O'Clock:Oh, of course! ::Grumbles something about 'new toys' and 'fun costumes' under his breath (really subtle, eh? ^_^):: So, what is it that you vagabonds need?
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Well, we would appreciate it if you don't call us vagabonds.
Mayor O'Clock:All right, done! My work here is finished, come Secretary Sundial, to the cafeteria!
Secretary Sundial:Ummmm sir, I don't think they're done yet.
Mayor O'Clock:Oh, of course! I knew that! ::Grumbles something about 'domineering females' and 'whips' under his breath this time (again, the subtleties are amazing! ^_^)::
Millisecond:Yes, of course you did sir. ::Nods:: We have come here to tell you that we'll be rescuing Tomorrow!
Mayor O'Clock:All right, have a jolly good time with that! Now, Miss Sundial, let us go to my office! I have some important 'papers' for you to stack!
Secretary Sundial:All right fine! I'll go there, but these guys aren't done talking yet! ::Runs into the Mayor's office and gets ready to stack these important papers...::
Mayor O'Clock:Oh, very good! ::Grumbles something about 'reaching high peaks' and 'fun with lotion' to himself:: Ummmm, so, how do you plan to rescue Tomorrow? And what the heck do you plan to do with her if you *do* rescue her?
Millisecond:Well, if I did rescue her we would be boyfriend and girlfriend, and we'll spend many romantic evenings together...and finally we would... ::Nose starts bleeding like a facet::
Vash:Is everyone in this town a hentai or what?
Meryl:Apperantly...
Vash:I miss towns like November, you know.
Milly: ::Nods:: Yeah, me too Vash-san, me too!
Mayor O'Clock:Hey, quit talking and help the lad out here!
Wolfwood: ::Stuffs a bunch of Kleenex tissues up Millisecond's nose yet again:: Well, at this rate we'll be sitting in here for two more hours!
Mayor O'Clock: ::Gasps:: That's time I need! All right guys, I grant you access to the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower! Watch out for the evil guardians, and don't die! Now if you excuse me, I have to see Miss Sundial for a moment! ::Runs into his office and slams the door, leaving an important question hanging in the wind. Will those important papers *be* filled or not?::
Vash:Well, let's get this fiasco over with.
::Everyone else nods and the crew leaves the office of Mayor 'Time to Stack the Papers' O'Clock and heads on to the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower. Of course, I have some little interesting things to do before they get there....but you all knew that!::
Wolfwood:So ummm, we have to defeat all of the various guardians of this tower, then we'll be able to rescue Tomorrow from the clutches of the evil Opwatch, right? Now why does that sound sorta familiar?
Millisecond:Yep, that's right. As for why that sounds familiar uhhhh...the author probably ran out of creative ideas and took a plot from another anime or something.
Wolfwood:Oh, of course!
::The voice of MV booms for the very first time in a Trigun ficcy, lucky them! ^_^::
Voice of MV:Hey, I am creative....I MADE A GUY WHOSE NAME IS FREAKIN' MILLISECOND FOR GOLLY GOSH GEE WHIZ SAKES!!!!! GEEZ!!!! NOW DON'T MAKE ME ENTER THIS FIC AGAIN MISTER! ::And the voice of MV then fades into the wind, just like all of my potential reviewers *just* did...::
Vash:Well, that explains why all this weird stuff is happening to us...it's because the author is off his rocker.
Meryl:Hey Vash, never say that phrase again!
Vash:Okay, okay, sheesh!
::Vash-tachi finally arrive outside of the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower::
Millisecond:Look guys, it's the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower! ::Points at the tower::
Wolfwood: ::Sarcastically:: Thanks for clearing that up, Millisecond.
Millisecond:No prob!
::Wolfwood sweatdrops because Millisecond (hey, if you shorten his name to Milli he'd be a half of Milli Vanilli, unfortunately @_@) was too dense to figure out that he was being sarcastic::
Milly:Ummmm, I guess this means we'll have to get ready to fight some guardians, or something.
Vash:Yep, but I bet they won't be very tough ones!
Meryl:Probably not, knowing our past experiences with this fanfic author...
::Vash-tachi all arrive at the entrance of the tower and enter. I mean, what the hell did you expect them to do at the entrance? Did you expect them to dance around it or something? Geez, some people! Yeah so anyway, they are greeted by an empty stone room with a spiraling stone staircase leading up to the other levels of the tower. Did I forget to mention that a big fat guy wearing Medieval type armor was guarding the staircase? Well, he was::
Fat Medieval Type Dude:Halt! Ye shalln't pass this gateway unless thee answer a perplexing riddle! If thou dost not answer this riddle correctly, thou shall not be able to pass this gateway!
Millisecond:Shalln't isn't even a *real* word....it's not even an archaic word for that matter.
Vash:Yeah, and you're guarding a staircase, not a gateway. ::Sweatdrops::
Fat Medieval Type Dude:Shut up! Ye can't pass the staircase if ye don't answer the perplexing riddle of the gatekeeper, me, whom thou should address as Sir Decade the Great, so there!
Meryl:Fine, whatever. So what's this tough riddle we have to answer Sir Decade the Loser?
Wolfwood: ::Chuckles slightly:: That was a pretty good one Meryl.
Meryl:Thanks.
Decade:Shut up, shut up! Now ye will get a riddle that's ten bajillon times harder!
Millisecond:Bajillon isn't even a *real* number.
Decade:Ye be quiet, ye wee lad ye! Okay, now for ye REALLY CHALLENGING RIDDLE THAT YE WILL NEVER SOLVE! *Ahem!* What is black and white and read all over?
::Vash-tachi (which includes Millisecond now because he is an honoree member of the crew, at least for now anyway) all sweatdrop at the same time at the childish simplicity of the supposed 'perplexing riddle'::
Milly:The answer is a newspaper...
Decade:What what what? How doth thee get my perfect puzzle, my elaborate enigma, my confusing conundrum, my difficult dilemma, my...
Vash: ::Facefaults:: We got the point, and the answer is that it's like the *easiest* riddle of all time.
Decade:No, Sony's Medieval video game has finally deceived me, how can they do this to me?!?!?!
Wolfwood:Isn't it pretty bad when you have to get your 'difficult riddles' from a video game, which has a level with three riddles in it that a unborn child could solve?
Milly:Yeah, that's *pretty* bad!
Vash:So anyway, can we go past now?
Decade:No, thou shalln't not go past! Ye made a fool of me, so thy can't go past! Hahahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha!
Millisecond:But we answered your dumb riddle!
Decade:Too bad, ye can't go past still! Hahahaha!
Millisecond:Okay fine. ::Pulls out a paintball gun and shots Decade with a barrage of paintballs::
Decade:Ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay, thy can pass....just stop shooting those evil devices at me! ::Moves out of the way::
Millisecond:Okay, good! ::Puts his paintball gun away::
::Vash-tachi all head up the spiral staircase, what strange guardians will they meet on the second floor? The answer to that question will be coming up in the next episode....err I mean the next few seconds....!::
Vash: ::Sweatdrops:: Was it really necessary to shoot him *that* many times Millisecond?
Millisecond:Probably not, but I can't stop shooting paintballs once I start. It's almost like a problem.
Wolfwood:Well, the first step to curing your problem is admitting you have a problem, oh and you did stop by the way.
Millisecond:Oh yeah, so I did. Maybe I don't have a problem after all!
Milly:Well, that's good Millisecond-san!
::And finally, the crew reaches floor number two to find another empty corridor and stone staircase leading up to the next floor. (I'm not very creative with the look of this tower, am I? Oh well, deal with it or I'm gonna bust a cap yo! Word up son dawg mofo homie G!) *Anyway,* the guy standing 'guard' on this floor was a skinny guy with a big gold clock around his neck::
Skinny Guy:Yo yo yo! Wassup dudes? I see you got up to floor two, that's cool.
Meryl:Who are you?
Skinny Guy:My name be Epoch E. Epoch, and I'm the guardian of this here floor. That means I can't let you pass, sorry 'bout that.
Vash:Isn't there some way we could pass?
Epoch:Yeah, but that way is so *dangerous* and *ruinous* that not even *I* like to talk about it.
Milly: ::Blinks:: Do you mean that we'd have to go up that stairway next to the one you're standing next to Epoch-san? ::Suddenly, a stairway magically appears next to Epoch with a wooden sign in front of it that reads "Stairway to Heaven"::
Epoch:What the who the when the what the...yo that is some crazy shiznict you's got yourself hooked up into, dawgs!
Vash: ::Whispering to Wolfwood:: What did he just say?
Wolfwood: ::Whispering back:: I dunno.
::We can't forget about my horribly executed 'Stairway to Heaven' joke quite yet, my friends! So, anyway, one of the (arguably) greatest songs of all time starts to play, 'Stairway to Heaven'. For no apparent reason really, I just felt like having it occur in this fic::
Meryl:Hey Millisecond, does being in this tower make you wonder? Does it really make you wonder?
Millisecond:Yep, it sure does. You know guys, I know this one lady who is pretty sure that everything that glitters is gold.
Epoch:Yo fomos (Note:Don't even ask), you be talkin' some whacked out shiznict up in this beoach, yo, so I'm gonna hafta bust a cap-a-tat-tat (Note:Again, don't even ask) up in this hizouse joint son dawg word!
Wolfwood:Uhhhh, that's a good thing right?
Epoch:No son, it ain't a good thing! Foo', what da hell do ya think it's a good thing fer! I pity da foo' who thinks that busting a cap-a-tat-tat up in this hizouse joint is a good thing!
Millisecond:Uhhhh, okay. ::Starts firing a bunch of paintballs at Epoch and the result is pretty much the same as last time::
Epoch:Yo homie, stop firing them paintballs at me and I'll let ya past, aight? Just watch yer back the next time you're on the streets, son! And be sure to carry lots of bling-bling for me to steal, gangsta yo!
Millisecond:Ummmm, I can *dig* that son dawg word peace out homie G mofo! ::Stops firing them gosh golly dang gee whiz darn paintballs at Epoch then there then there then...errr there. Yeeeeeeeeeees.::
Epoch: ::Sweatdrops:: Moron, you *and* the freakin' author of this mess of a story!
Vash:Errrr right, all right crew let's get going! ::Points dramatically to the stairway (and no, I'm not talking about the one I created for my horrible musical joke, either. So don't you go thinking that I'm talking 'bout that one, okay? Don't make me send you to your room!)::
Meryl: ::Facefaults:: We're still *not* your crew Vash...
Vash:Oh yeah, that's right! ::Blinks:: Ummm let's just get going then?
Wolfwood:Fine, the sooner we get going, the sooner we can reach the end of this moronic excuse for a fanfic.
Milly:All right Vash-san, lead the way!
Vash:See, I told you we have a crew Meryl! ::Sticks tongue out at Meryl::
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Oh, shut up!
Millisecond:Ummm, are we gonna get going yet?
Everybody minus Epoch:Hai!
Millisecond:Okay, okay.
Epoch:You best be goin' so mofos, before I's come back for lunch. Peace out G-funk! (Note:Once again, don't *even* ask.)
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: Uhhh, ooookay.
::And so, Vash-tachi all headed up the next stairway and climbed on up to floor numero three, which would only mean that they'll meet another stupid guardian! What fun that sounds like, yes? However, we'll have to pause as they go up the stairs so they can do some dumb things which I'll try to pass off as humor.::
Wolfwood:By the way Millisecond, you need some serious paintball gun intervention!
Millisecond:But what else could we have done there Wolfwood?
Wolfwood:Simple, we could just have easily pursued in comic escapades which would ultimately lead to our getting up to the next floor.
Millisecond:Oh okay, I'm sorry about that then. I gotta get rid of this crazy habit for Tomorrow-chan! ::Pulls out a little picture of Tomorrow and worships it, the rest of the group just sweatdrop::
Milly:Millisecond-san is kinda obsessed, don't you think Meryl-san?
Meryl:That's an understatement...
::So anyway, the five guys (and gals, and that pizza place, for that matter) all arrive on the third floor which amazingly enough, had the same designer as the other two floors. This time around the guardian(s) are two contrasting people. First we have a tall black haired girl with a police uniform on (along with a sword and two guns in sheaths/holsters), then we have a short stubby guy in a 'Giant Foodstores' shirt, along with one of those tags that says your name on it. However, since I didn't tell you these character's names yet, you're not gonna know it yet...m'kay.::
Guy:Hey, who are you people?
Girl:Yeah, who are you people?
::Before any member of Vash-tachi can even think to utter the slightest vowel or constant, the two crazy creeps introduce themselves (Note:Can you say I've been watching too much Ranma, or what? ^_^)::
Guy:No matter, your names don't matter! My name is Hourglass and I'm the guardian of this floor, I'm a bad ass midget wrestler with a heart of gold that also has a job working at Giant Foodstores! If you give me a bad coupon, you better check yourself out the door before you wreck yourself, girlfriend! ::Snaps::
Girl: ::Sweatdrops:: I told you not to do that Hourglass. Anyway, my name is Yeste R. Day (Note:Just when you thought my pun names couldn't get any worse, I pull this stunt on ya! ^_^), and I'm also a guardian of this floor! I'm a police officer ninja girl who can always come out of a fight smelling like a lilac, but don't cross my path or I'll bite off your fingers with my teeth!
::Hourglass and Yeste then make some symmetrical motions, like a sort of strange little fusion dance/Ginyu posse pose type thing going on. They then speak simultaneously...and the world is in awe at their AMAZING POSING SKILLS, BECAUSE THEY'RE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!::
Hourglass & Yeste:We are the guardians of the third floor of the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower, we are the Mary-Sue Guardian Force and everybody.....::Dramatic pause:: LOVES US!!!!!!!!!
::Vash-tachi all fall over, then they immediately get up as if nothing ever happened like in all anime ^_^::
Vash:Are they *serious?* ^^;;;;;
Meryl:It looks that way.
Millisecond: ::Blinks:: Hey Vash, you took everyone else's sweatdrops, you sweatdrop hog! ::Hits Vash over the head::
Vash:Oh, errr sorry bout that. Oro. @_@
Wolfwood:Hey Vash, stop imitating Kenshin!
Vash:Okay, okay!
Hourglass:Hey, losers, pay attention to us!
Yeste:Yeah, losers, pay attention to us!
Milly: ::Facefaults:: We're not losers.
Hourglass:Shut up loser, and pay some damn attention to us!
Milly:But I am paying attention...
Hourglass:Pay attention loser, geez, can't you see that I'm the model of male perfectionism? I mean, I have raw sexual energy here...plus I'm super strong, super fast, omnipotent, super smart, all powerful, and I hold down an ordinary lifestyle on top of it all! What's not to love about me?
Meryl:Well, there is the little fact that you're a Mary-Sue, that's kinda unlikable. By the way, omnipotent means all powerful...
Hourglass:Shut up loser, geez loser, shut up!
Yeste: ::Sweatdrops:: You handled that pretty well!
Millisecond:That's it, I can't take this nonsense anymore! ::Gets out his trusty paintball gun::
Vash:No Millisecond, don't do it! You'll only be giving into your problem more!
Millisecond:But these guys are freakin' annoying!
Vash:Yes, that may be true, but we'll be able to defeat them some other, more comical and less predictable, way!
Yeste:Yeah right, it's impossible to beat the Mary-Sue Guardian Force of Pure Perfection! My exotic feminine charm will stop all of you testosterone driven morons dead in your tracks, behold the power of the police officer ninja girl! ::Takes off her police uniform to reveal an extremely small tank-top which pretty much makes her huge breasts (of course) stick out like a sore thumb, not to mention the fact that she isn't wearing a bra (of course)::
Meryl:Don't be silly Yeste, the guys won't be allured by some big breasted hussie! Right minna? ::Turns around only to see Vash, Wolfwood, and Millisecond staring at a certain body part of a certain Mary-Sue's perfect body:: Nevermind. ::Sweatdrops::
Hourglass:Haha! Now that Yeste has defeated the guys, I'll lure you two sassy females in with my BIG MUSCLES! ::Takes off his own shirt to reveal a finely toned body filled with muscles and what not::
Milly:Wow, his muscles are so big! ::Has hearts in her eyes::
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Do I have to do *everything* myself? ::Gets a safety pin out of her pocket and pokes Hourglass with it. His muscles just happen to pop and sorta deflate. She does this again to Yeste, and her breasts sorta deflate as well:: It figures....
Hourglass:Noooooo! You popped my perfect midget wrestler muscles!!!!!!
Yeste:NOOOOO! You popped my perfectly round, ripe, beautiful globes!!!!!!! My prize feminine charm is *GONE!* GAH! YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: These two have to be the strangest guardians we had to fight yet, and the most arousing for that matter....::Smiles cheesily::
Millisecond:Get a grip man! ::Turns chibi and clamps on to Yeste's chest, everybody sweatdrops::
Yeste: ::Cracks Millisecond over the head with her fist:: HENTAI!
Vash:Nothing ever changes, does it? Oh well, let's get this over with all ready.
Meryl:All right Vash, do your thang!
Vash:Never say thang again Meryl.....
Meryl:Heh, all right, just do it okay?!?!
Vash:Okay! ::Takes out a container labeled 'Mary-Sue White Out' out of his coat and squirts it at Yeste and Hourglass. When it hits them, they start to melt away::
Hourglass:Nooooo, I'm melting, I'm melting, oh what a world this is!
Yeste:What will the world do without my perfection? Why did I, the greatest, most beautiful, most powerful, most sexiest, wait, that's not grammatically correct. *Bleep* *Bleep* *Blip*. Most I'm making words up now, error...error...does not compute...error.
::And so, those two wackos die::
Milly:Ummmm, ::Pokes Millisecond with a stick she got from hammerspace:: Millisecond-san, are you okay?
Millisecond: ::Lying on the ground face first, like in most anime ^_^:: Couldn't be better...
Vash:All right then, let's go!
::And so, Millisecond gets up and the gaggle of Trigun characters (gaggle is a term for a group of Trigun characters, I bet'cha didn't know that! ^_^ And yes, I made that up...it really isn't a term for a group of Trigun characters.) all head up the stairs to the next level. I really don't have any weird little antics for them this time around, so I'm just gonna get to the point. All five of them arrive on the floor, only to find Opwatch's talking pet wombat, Today, guarding the stairway to the next floor::
Today: ::Looks over at Vash-tachi and munches on some Chrono Chips:: Hey guys, do you want some Chrono Chips?
Milly:Ummm, no thanks wombat-san.
Meryl:Yeah, I'll pass on those...
Wolfwood:Me too...
Vash:Ditto.
Millisecond:Insert a stock dialogue comment in here. ::Blinks:: Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to say that...that was what the script said! Damn it! ::Takes out a small piece of paper and sets it on fire:: BURN DAMN YOU, BURN YOU SCRIPT! MWAHAHAHAHA!
::Everyone sweatdrops::
Today:Riiiiight. ::Blinks:: Hey damn it, accept my Chrono Chips! When people don't accept my kind offers, I get really mad!!!!! ::Growls::
Vash: ::Blinks:: Hey, why does sound a bit familiar?
Today:Today angry, Today very angry!!!!! ::Growls louder, proceeds to be engulfed by a green aura, then turns green and gets bigger ala the Incredible Hunk::
Meryl: ::Rolls eyes:: Not *THIS* stupid gag again! Fine, damn it you moronic author, I'll do it *again!* ::Proceeds to pull out the ever so handy safety pin from before and proceeds to, yep, you guessed it, pop the Incredible Today's muscles:: There!!!! Are you all happy now? Damn you all too hell!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: I think we made her more angry *than* that talking wombat thing...
Vash:Yeah, it appears that way. ::Also sweatdrops::
Today: ::Facefaults:: Awww man, you wrecked my Halloween costume! Now how am I supposed to get candy next year?
Milly:Can't you just go as a talking wombat, Today-san?
Today:Errr, yeah I suppose I could. However, that doesn't mean I'll let you get to Lord Opwatch! You meanies didn't accept my Chronolicious (no, it's *not* a real word!) Chrono Puffs! For this your heads shall roll......or at least rock a little!!!!!
::Vash-tachi all fall over from Today's dumb jock, errr I mean joke. Sorry 'bout that, it's a Freudian slip! ^_^ Anyway, the five of them all get up right away in classical anime style (naturally!)::
Vash:Yeah so anyway, can we maybe pass to the next level?
Today:NO!!!!! If you want to pass, you have to get by ME!!!!!!
Wolfwood: ::Sarcastically:: Oh, how *scary.*
Today:SHUT UP!!!!! I WILL MAIM YOU, AND I WILL ROCK YOU!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Millisecond: ::Growls:: Would you stop *SHOUTING*, it's making me angry, VERY ANGRY!
Meryl:Uh-oh, that must mean he's gonna use his you-know-what on you-know-who!
Vash:Here I thought he was just imitating Marvin Martian...
Today:NO, I WILL NOT SHUT UP!!!!
Millisecond:GAH!!!!! ::Pulls out his paintball gun and pulls the trigger, however, it seems that he ran out of paintballs:: Holy lack of paintballs, Batman! I'm out of paintballs!
Today:MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Now you will *ALL* die!!!!
Vash:Ummmm, okay....
Wolfwood:Never fear guys, I'll save the day! ::Pulls out a whistle from hammerspace and blows on it:: Haha, with my patented Wombat Whistle (trademark of Cool Ass Wolf Products Inc.) Today shall be stopped dead in his tracks!
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Since when did you have a company...
Milly:Yeah, and why didn't you tell *me* about it Wolfwood-san!
Wolfwood:Heh, errr...it was my secret project. Heh. Now then, let the blowing commence!
Millisecond: ::Sweatdrops:: Ummm, you know that can be misinterpreted buddy...
Wolfwood:Oh shut up!!!!
Today:HEY PEOPLE, WOULD YOU JUST GET ON WITH THIS THING ALL READY? I HAVE A VETERINARIAN APPOINTMENT AT THREE!!!!
Wolfwood:Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. ::Proceeds to blow on his patented Wombat Whistle::
Today: ::Hears a loud piercing sound and falls to the ground:: On no, I have been stopped dead in my tracks! Oh woe, oh woe!
Vash: ::Facefaults:: Man, somebody needs to get that talking wombat some *acting* lessons!
Today: ::Gets up:: Oh shut up, I'm being melodramatic! Now where was I? ::Gets back on the ground:: Ah yes! Oh what a horrid world this is! To die, to sleep, aye...that's the rub! ::Pretends to die::
Milly: ::Throws a few roses (which she subsequently got from hammerspace) at Today's performance:: Bravo Today-san, bravo!
Meryl:Yeah so anyway, let's get on with this journey guys!
Millisecond:Okay!
Wolfwood:Fine!
Milly:All right Meryl-san!
Today: ::Gets up again:: All right, let's go guys! Let's take out the evil Opwatch and save the day!
Vash: ::Facefaults:: That was *my* line! Besides, you can't come with us, you're *supposed* to be dead!
Today:Oh yeah, that's right! ::Falls back on the ground and pretends to be dead::
Vash:Man, this town is really messed up! Anyway, let's move onward!!!!!
::And so, Vash-tachi all head up the next flight of stairs to the FINAL (and I do mean FINAL) floor. I really don't feel like having humorous antics occur in the midst of their journey up the stairs, so nothing special happens this time. Anyway, when the five of them arrive at Opwatch's lair, they notice Tomorrow trapped in the cage and stuff...and Opwatch glaring at that big clock on the wall again::
Opwatch:Damn you clock, you shall soon face the wrath of S.T. OPWATCH!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::Blinks:: Wow, it's nice to get a line!
Millisecond: ::Growls loudly, and pulls his paintball gun out only to remember he was OUT of paintballs in the last scene:: Damn it! *Ahem!* ::Using a cheesy super hero type voice:: Well Opwatch, it looks like your evil plans shall be foiled by the mighty Millisecond and his crew of comedic gunslingers!
Vash: ::Goes all super deformed like:: Hey, I patented the cheesy super hero voice thing! Give it back, give it back! ::Pulls on Millisecond's pants::
Millisecond: ::Sweatdrops:: Is he *always* this annoying?
::Wolfwood just nods::
Opwatch:Hey, get out of my evil lair you non-evil people you...or else I will free Tomorrow!!!!
Milly:But Opwatch-san, that's the whole point we came here!
Opwatch:Errr, oh yeah! I mean, get out of my evil lair or else I will kill this....::Pulls out a banana from hammerspace:: banana! Mwahahahaha!
Meryl:Ummm, you're not really a good villain, are you?
Opwatch:I am too, so can it Tuna Head!
Wolfwood: ::Arches eyebrows:: Meryl, do you know what a 'Tuna Head' is?
Meryl:It's probably has something to do with a tuna and somebodies head, but that's just a hunch! Either that, or a bad dubbing got a stab at Opwatch's lines.
::Suddenly, a loud screech is heard coming from Tomorrow's cage::
Tomorrow:What the hell kind of heroes are you?!?!?! You're *supposed* to save the maiden in distress, not just stand around and talk about people with fish on their heads!
Vash: ::Sweatdrops:: She's right you know, but why do you want to save a girl like this...exactly?
Millisecond: ::Has hearts in his eyes:: Because she's the most beautiful girl in the entire world! ::Gets one of those weird flowery anime backgrounds behind him::
Vash:I shouldn't have asked. ::Sweatdrops once more::
Tomorrow:Will you just defeat that moron Opwatch all ready and get me out of this stupid cage!?!?!?!
Wolfwood:Well, I guess we're obligated to do that.
Opwatch:You will not do that, for I am the mighty S. T. Opwatch, and I shall DEFEAT YOU RUFFIANS FOREVER!!!! I SHALL USE MY ULTRA SUPER DUPER MIGHTY MECHA, TIMETRON! TIMETRON, I CHOOSE YOU! ::Holds up a green and black ball that bears a striking resemblance to a Pokéball, ironically enough::
Meryl:You can't fit a robot inside a little ball, baka! ::Facefaults::
Opwatch:Oh yeah, right! ::Tosses the ball aside:: Now then, where was I? Oh yes! TIMETRON, I SUMMON YOU!
::From out of nowhere in particular appears five colored elephant robots. If this seems slightly familiar to you, you may be suffering from old anime nostalgia (or maybe even from a bad case of Power Rangers syndrome?). I'd assure you this bit was *not* inspired by Voltron, but then I'd just be lying::
Opwatch:Hahaha! Timetron will destroy you all! *Ahem!* ::Cheesy music starts playing:: Timetron, form arms and legs! ::The elephant robots start doing so by combining together:: Form head! ::The robots do so again by the same means:: Form magical voice box! ::Timetron gets the power to speak magically, don't even ask me *how*:: Now, form Flaming Spear! ::The robots get a spear from nowhere as a 'Swaaaaang!' sound bit is played:: Haha! Destroy them now Timetron!
Timetron:Hahaha, I am Timetron! You shall die! Hahaha!
Milly: ::Pokes Timetron's legs and sweatdrops:: Ummm minna-san, should we be scared of a robot with cardboard legs?
Wolfwood:The answer to that question would be a definite 'No!'.
Milly: ::Continues poking Timetron's legs for no apparent reason:: Why would someone build a robot out of cardboard? ::A bad joke alarm goes off::
Vash:It's *obviously* from a B-movie, Milly! ::That bad joke alert thing ceases making noise:: Wow, that's pretty convenient! Good thing that bad joke alarm was installed!
Opwatch:It costed me $$5 to install, the Evil Dude's Store was having a sale!
Vash:Oh cool!
Tomorrow:Can we get on with this all ready?!?!?!?!?!
Everybody but Tomorrow:Okay, okay!
Timetron: ::Voice turns all high pitched and such:: Stop it, that tickles!!!!!! Don't make me bake you brownies!!!!!
Opwatch: ::Sweatdrops:: Note to self, install a new insult chip into Timetron. New note to self, install a Spanish voice box to Timetron so only speakers of Spanish can understand him! Ha!
::Everyone but Milly and Timetron (if a robot could do such a thing) sweatdrop::
Milly:Oh, sorry Timetron-san. ::Stops poking Timetron::
Timetron:That's okay! Let's go have a pillow fight Milly-chan!
Milly:Okay! ^_^
::Everybody falls over as Timetron skips off in the sunset::
Milly:Hey Timetron-san, wait for me!
Millisecond:I didn't have a line in a while, hooray for pointless dialogue! Whoopie! ::Grunts:: Stupid big robot! It's time to rock and roll!!!!!! ::Pulls out a launcher rocket from hammerspace and fires it at Timetron, thus destroying the dumb robot::
::Insert a big anime type explosion in here::
Vash:Well that Timetron joke lasted about a page of dialogue, that's more than normal!
Milly: ::Blinks:: Aw man, they killed Timetron-san! Oh well, I guess I'll have to have a pillow fight with somebody else.
Opwatch:Damn it, my Timetron has been destroyed! I didn't even pay for the warranty! Damn it!
Wolfwood:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now then, we're gonna get this over with so we can get out of the evil grasp of this fanfic author! Okay? ::Before Opwatch can say anything, Wolfwood trains his cross gun thingamajig on him::
Opwatch: ::Notices Wolfwood has his cross gun (or whatever you wanna call it) locked on him:: Gah!!!!!! If I get shot, I will sue!!!!!!!
Wolfwood: ::Blinks:: But you'll be dead....
Opwatch:Errr yeah but.... ::Picks up a remote control off the ground and presses it rapidly:: ....I won't be dead if you *don't* shot me! Ha! Time Force, assemble!
Wolfwood:This is getting *so* monogamous!
::A random voice booms::
Random Voice:The word of the day is monogamous! Monogamous! Now I'm off to the strip club, see ya kiddies! ::The random voice dissipates::
Vash:This is *really* confusing and pointless...
Wolfwood:No kidding! ::Grunts:: Damn it, this is annoying me! ::Starts firing his gun::
::Suddenly a black, red, blue, green, orange and white strip flies into the room and magically block the bullets some how::
Opwatch:Ahahahahahaha! You're *all* deader than dead insects killed by Raid! The Time Force is here, so you're all dead...as I stated in my last sentence! Mwahahahaha!
::The colors fade to reveal five warriors in suits on the previously mentioned colors. Think Power Rangers (again, that Power Rangers Syndrome thing) and you know what these morons look like::
Black Suited Dude:I am Midnight and you're out past your curfew!
Red Suited Dude:I'm Twilight and my red glare will make your bombs burst in the air!
Blue Suited Dude:My names Morning and I don't want you to have a good one, America!
Green Suited Dude:People call me John, but *you* guys can call me Afternoon! I'll give you *one* lunch break you'll *never* forget!
Orange Suited Dude:My name is Evening and I have nothing relative to say!
White Suited Dude:And *my* name is Night, my costume really doesn't make sense but oh well! I'm gonna tell *you* where your children are, in my belly! Ha!
Time Force in Unison:AND TOGETHER WE ARE THE TIME FORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: How many more evil characters *are* there?!?!?!?!?! I mean, *c'mon!!!!!!!!!!*
Opwatch:Silence! The amount of evil characters doesn't matter because you'll be dead! No, deader than dead! You'll be pushing up dead daises that are dead! You'll be sleeping with dead fishes that also happen to be DEAD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Millisecond: ::Sweatdrops:: This guy is either insane, or he's just an idiot. Hey, you know....this line doesn't really move the limited plot along at all. Imagine that!
Tomorrow: ::Grumbles:: Where's a super hero when you need one? Geez!
Vash: ::Coughs:: Now that the author finished making pointless lines of dialogue, let's get to the end of this climatic, end of series battle!
Night:It's not a series, it's a FANFIC!!!! ::Waves hand:: But anyhow, let's do so! Okay Time Force, prepare to use the SUPER TIME WARP OF DOOM!
Twilight: ::Sweatdrops:: Uhhhh Night, we don't have an attack like that...
Night:Damn! Okay, then let's use the DEADLY PENDULUM ATTACK!!!
Evening:We don't have an attack like that either...
Night:The CATACLYSMIC BIG BEN BLENDER?
Afternoon:Nope...
Night:The APOCALYPTIC TIMEX WATCH SHUFFLE?
Morning:No...
Night:Okay, what's our ultimate attack called again?
Midnight:It's the DEADLY, HORRIBLE MACARENA ATTACK!
Night:Okay then, we'll use that! TIME FORCE, PREPARE THE MACARENA ATTACK!
::Afternoon pulls out a boom box from hammerspace and turns it on. Suddenly, the Macarena starts playing and the Time Force all start doing the Macarena::
::Vash-tachi all sweatdrop::
Wolfwood:This is the *stupidest* thing I ever saw!
Meryl:Yeah, I agree!
Vash:Hey Millisecond, do you got any paintballs left?
Millisecond:No, but look over there ::Points on the ground where six paintballs (which just happen to be using the same color scheme as the Time Force) magically appeared:: there's six!
Vash:Well pick 'em up all ready!
Millisecond: ::Picks up the mysteriously appearing paintballs and loads them into his guy, then proceeds to fire one (of the appropriate color) at each member of the Time Force:: Take that, you evil Macarena bastards!
::One by one, the Time Force get hit by paintballs and they all fall down::
Night:Oh what a cruel world it is. ::Twitches:: Will you tell my sister that I love her? ::Gasps, and dies dramatically...even though a paintball won't kill ya::
Afternoon:I'm dying so damn slow. I can see my life flashing before my eyes multiple times. Why do film makers make the death scenes last so long? Alas, cruel world! ::Dies dramatically as well, even though a paintball won't kill ya (as said before)::
::The other four members of the Time Force die less dramatically because I couldn't think of anything relevant for them to say, so....they die even though it was a paintball attack. Who the hell dies from a paintball attack anyway? What wimps!::
Opwatch:Nooooo! Now what will I do?!?!?!?
Wolfwood:You can casually surrender...
Opwatch:I will not! ::Runs to the closest window, which just appeared out of nowhere:: I can escape!!!
Vash:Uhhhh, this is a five story building...
Opwatch:Silence! My jet plane is out there ::Jumps out of the window::
Milly:Uhhhh....wouldn't we have seen a jet plane when we came in Meryl-san?
Meryl:Yep! There *wasn't* any planes out there.
Millisecond:Well he just committed suicide. ::Looks out the window to see an Opwatch shaped imprint in the ground:: Oh wait, maybe not. I guess he just ended up like a cartoon character. Oh well.
Tomorrow:Who cares?!?!?!?! Just get me out of this cage!
Wolfwood: ::Taps the cage with his finger and it falls apart, sweatdrops:: It figures.
Millisecond:Oh Tomorrow-chan, my sweet, sweet Tomorrow-chan! ::Runs to Tomorrow like in a cheesy romance movie (including that cheesy background music and stupid flowery background)::
Tomorrow: ::Facefaults:: Get out of here! ::Punches Millisecond and he flies ten feet in the air (and he starts waving his arms around like he just don't care! Then he started to say, 'Hey, hoe, hey, hoe!'::
Vash:Uhhhh okaaaaay, now let's just put the finishing touches on this fic. Ready Milly?
Milly:I sure am Vash!
Vash:All right, here goes!
::Vash and Milly start waving their arms around in the air a la Wayne's World, and the scene magically changes to Mayor O'Clock's office. Anyway, Secretary Sundial was rapidly typing in stuff and such.::
Vash:Excellent! ::Makes a thumbs up sign::
Secretary Sundial: ::Looks up:: Oh, you guys are back. Wow, you saved Tomorrow! ::Pulls out her megaphone and yells in it once again:: MAYOR O'CLOCK, TOMORROW IS SAVED!!!!!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops again:: I'm *really* glad we're almost finished with this story.
::Mayor O'Clock walks into the room::
Mayor O'Clock: ::Grumbles something about 'Xerox machines that give bad backside copies':: Oh, what? Did you say my daughter Tomorrow was rescued Secretary Sundial? Yippie!
Tomorrow: ::Waves:: Hi daddy!
Mayor O'Clock:Hi pumpkin! Do me a favor and get a gallon of milk. We're out of milk!
Tomorrow:GET YOUR OWN FREAKIN' MILK YOU LAZY BUM!
Millisecond:I'll get it sir! ::Runs to get some milk::
Vash:Ummmm, okay.....we're leaving now.
Mayor O'Clock:All right, bye! Thanks for saving my daughter! Don't be a stranger!
Wolfwood:Don't worry, we will be....err won't be! Bye now!
::And with that, Vash-tachi exit the mayor's office and run far, far away from Tick-Tock. Now, as for what all the people in this fic have been doing with their fictional lives. Well, first off, Millisecond got married to Tomorrow, Mayor O'Clock insisted on it. He said that, "Any son-in-law of mine should be able to fetch me milk anytime!" and that's basically why they got married. As for the Mayor and Secretary Sundial, well they shot some adult entertainment movies like the 'Oral Office' and 'Debbie Does the Government'. Sir Decade the Great (or not so great) became a spokesperson for the 'Men With Ye Old British Accents Club'. Epoch E. Epoch started his own big golden watch store. Yeste and Hourglass became ghosts that were PERFECT IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE. Oh, and Today ate too many Chrono Chips and died a tragic death, Today's parents sued the pants off the Chrono Chips company and amassed a fortune.::
***OWARI***
And there you have it, the strange ending to my strangest Trigun ficcy yet (and that's saying a lot!). Well then, tell me wha'cha thought about....will you? You know how I usually make the ending notes a lot longer than this? Well this time around I can't think of anything remotely clever to say, not that that's ever stopped me before! However, this time I'm just gonna end on this note! Don't steal the cookies from the cookie jar, damn it! Sayonara!
By:Majin Vegeta
Great google moogle! I have come up with yet another stupid idea for a Trigun fic! (Oh come on, you can't stop reading now...you just opened the fic up!!!!) This time around you'll find a plot, well if you look hard enough. From what I understand, it's plot hunting season 'round these parts and they aren't too easy to find. If you can find one for me, I'd like to shot it in the head. Thanks! ^_^
Note:Hey guys, I have a secret. This fic is non-canon...yet again. I bet that came as a surprise! Also, the James Bond title theme is still continuing...if you don't like the 007 title theme, I could always resort to using a Land Before Time title theme...or something. Oh, and on another note, tomorrow never *does* say hi anymore. Stupid tomorrow!
********
Well, in the last random fic we left our friends in they were wandering to another town. They happened to come to another 'normal' city filled with 'normal' citizens...yeah, and Vash doesn't have three guns, please. Anyway, the name of the new town that they have stumbled upon is called Tick-Tock, a town filled with lots of clocks and stuff. You see, in Tick-Tock, time was *REALLY* important. Now that we know what the motif throughout this story is, let's set up some minor little plot details shall we?
Okay, so Tick-Tock was keen on keeping time. Naturally there was a fiendish fiend who wanted Tick-Tock to slow down their beloved town or else they'd send a clown. (Look at my mad rhyming skills, g'dawg). Okay, that fiendish fiend wasn't really going to send a clown, I just did it to rhyme. Please forgive me. The bad guy of this story, however, *did* insist that Tick-Tock stop keeping time. His name was S.T. Opwatch and it was a pretty bad pun of a name, at that. Yeah, I'm going Samurai Pizza Cats on your asses! Whoo! Errrr....anyway, let's go to Mr. Opwatch's lair of evilness.
At Opwatch's Lair of Profound Evilness and Such...
::The evil S.T. Opwatch is staring at a big clock at his ceiling and cursing at it::Opwatch:Accursed clock, you tell time so very well! How I hate things that tell time!
::The camera pans back to show a pretty girl trapped in a cage::
Pretty Girl:You'll never get away with this Opwatch! Mayor O'Clock and the Tick-Tock Police Force will be after you soon! By the way you jerk, why do you hate things that tell time so much anyway?
Opwatch:Oh shut up Tomorrow! I'm glad you asked that Tomorrow, daaaaaarling...
Tomorrow: ::Sweatdrops:: Don't talk like that you baka!
Opwatch:Shut up, I captured you and I can talk to you anyway I want! I don't think our relationship is working out here, baby!
Tomorrow:We don't have a relationship you freaking moron! Now just tell me your stupid #%^#% story about hating things that tell time so we can get on with stupid fic!!!!
Opwatch: ::Grumbling to himself:: This is why I cry myself to sleep all the time. ::Speaks up:: Okay, there was a time in my life where I loved time tellers so much. But one day, a clock gave me the wrong time because it was set wrong...and I ended up being late to EVIL SCHOOL! I'm not up to my evil potential because of that STUPID clock! That's why I hate things that tell time!
Tomorrow: ::Has multiple sweatdrops behind her head:: Kami, you're such a BAKA!!!!!!!!!!
Opwatch:Shut up Tomorrow, I'll get my talking pet wombat Today on you tomorrow, Tomorrow!!!!
::That confusing sentence has been brought to you by Chrono Chips, the chips that you'll be able to eat at any time::
Tomorrow: ::Grunts:: Fine, I'll shut up because I don't want to be eaten by your talking pet wombat Today, tomorrow!
Opwatch:Good!
Tomorrow:Fine!
::Opwatch's pet wombat, Today walks in::
Today:Awwww, and I was hungry too.
Opwatch:Don't worry, you'll be able to eat some unruly mobs when they show up. But for now...you can have some Chrono Chips. ::Hands Today a bag of Chrono Chips and smiles cheesily::
Today:Oh cool! Yay! ::Takes a chip out of the bag and eats it:: Wow, that's the best tasting chip ever! ::Smiles cheesily as well::
Now for the main plot (MV:Ah-ha! There's a plot, SHOOT IT!!!!!), errr....and now for more random events that will have to do...
Well, since I never indicated where Vash and the crew were at, I'll tell you in this paragraph here. Okay, so Vash-tachi were all shopping at the Swinging Pendulum Paintball Gun Shoppe and Bingo Hall. Vash was talking to the cashier. Milly and Wolfwood were in the corner checking out a nice gun rack (if ya know what I mean, heh heh ^_^), and Meryl was filing some of her reports for Bernadali.
Now that the mini-plot has been finished, let's start our next expedition into my strange mind....
Vash: ::Pointing at a paintball gun:: So, does this BB Gun use carbon dioxide or is it spring loaded?
Cashier:Ummm sir, we only sell paintball guns here...
Vash:Oh yeah, I knew that. ::Grumbles about forgetting to read the ENTIRE sign:: Ummmm so, what kind of paint do you shoot with?
Cashier:Well, we usually use colored paint. ::Checks his watch and gasps:: Do you know what time it is, sir?
Vash:Uhhhh....mail time?
Cashier:No! It's time for the Tick-Tock town sing along. ::Turns on a radio really quickly::
::Out of the radio comes the voice of a disc jockey::
Disc Jockey:Hey, hey, hey...look what time it is. It's time for our Tick-Tock anthem sing along. Here we go. ::Starts singing:: Tomorrow, tomorrow, we love you tomorrow.
::Everybody in Tick-Tock sings along to the song, except Vash-tachi cause they don't know the song (hey, I had to think of a good reason). Soon after the sing along is over and everything is back to normal::
Vash:So, what's that about?
Cashier:Well, we sing that song so Mayor O'Clock's beloved daughter, Tomorrow, will escape from the evil Opwatch's clutches.
Vash:Oh, okay. ::Blinks, then realizes that these names seem a little fishy...just like the names of the people he met in Bakeryville and Nekoburg:: That isn't very practical is it?
Cashier:Errr, nope...
Meanwhile, at the gun rack....
Wolfwood:Yep, that's a gun rack all right Milly...maybe we should 'check it out' some more. ::Winks at Milly::
Milly: ::Blinks:: Errrr, not now Wolfwood-san! ::Whispers:: They're focusing on us right now, so we can't do that!
Wolfwood:All right, all right...fine. I'll just deliberately shorten my life by smoking a nice, satisfying cigarette that will ultimately give me lung cancer! ::Gets out a cigarette and goes outside to smoke::
Milly:I wonder how Wolfwood-san can keep doing that?
Meanwhile, back to the main stuff...
Vash:Ummm, so where is this Tomorrow girl captured at?
Cashier:The Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower.
Vash:Oh, okay. Ummmmm, why don't you just go and save her?
Cashier:I dunno...
Vash:You love her, don't you?!?!
Cashier: ::Blinks:: Errr, yeah but...how did you know that?
Vash:I didn't know it, that's just a question I like to ask.
Cashier:Oh. ::Sweatdrops:: Ummm, my name is Millisecond and I'd really like to save Tomorrow, will you help me Mr. Guy?
Vash:Uhhh sure I guess. Me and my friends will be glad to help you!
Millisecond:Okay, cool! We just got to go see Mayor O'Clock and tell him so we can plan for the perils of the tower.
Vash:Uhhh okay. Hey guys, come on....we're off on another dumb adventure!
::Meryl stops filing her reports and walks to Vash, Milly also walks to Vash and Wolfwood comes in with a bear wearing clothes following behind him::
Wolfwood:Oh be quiet, there ain't no forests around here Smoky! I can't *cause* a forest fire in the middle of the desert!
Smoky the Bear:Remember kids, only you can prevent forest fires!
Wolfwood:There's not even a tree around here, let alone a freaking forest!
::Smoky walks away::
Wolfwood:Baka!
Vash:Come Team Vash, we must help this poor boy's lover out!
Millisecond:Ummmm Vash-san, I'm not Tomorrow's lover...I wish I was though, but I ain't.
Meryl:Yeah Vash, and we're not Team Vash!
Vash:Okay okay, sheesh! ::Blinks:: Ummmm, why aren't you Tomorrow's lover?
Millisecond:It's because Tomorrow never says hi!
::Vash-tachi all sweatdrop::
Vash:You...
Wolfwood:...can't...
Milly:...be...
Meryl:...serious.
Millisecond:Yep, I'm serious. But I'd love to be Tomorrow's lover, to have her in bed with me. Just me and her alone....in bed. ::At that very thought, the poor guy's nose bleeds like a fire hydrant::
Wolfwood: ::Shoves a few tissues up Millisecond's nose so he stops bleeding:: You really need to get your mind off of things like that.
Millisecond:You're right! We have to focus on saving Tomorrow from Opwatch! Let's go guys, to Mayor O'Clock's office! ::Dramatically points finger in air::
Vash: ::Looking at a piece of paper:: Uhhh, Millisecond? That was *my* line....
Millisecond:Oh, whoops! Oh well, no harm done, right?
Vash:Yeah, I guess. Now you just gotta worry about all the Vash fans getting on your back for stealing my line.
Millisecond:Oh all right, sounds like fun.
Meryl:So can we get on with this or what?
Millisecond:Yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean...
::Vash-tachi fall over::
Wolfwood:The correct answer would be 'yes', Millisecond.
Millisecond:All right, then yes I shall answer!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: This is going to be a *long, long* day.
Vash:All right, so let's go gang! To the Mystery Machine!
::The others all sweatdrop simultaneously, and then they leave to go to Mayor O'Clock's office::
Meanwhile, at Opwatch's lair...
::Opwatch is sitting at a computer he got from who knows where and it just happens to freeze up on him::
Opwatch: ::Curses:: Damn Windows 98, you shall be the death of all my evil plans!
::In the background, the loud giggling of Tomorrow can be heard::
Opwatch:SHUT UP TOMORROW!
Tomorrow: ::Laughing hysterically:: No, you big fat loser! You didn't even upgrade your software! What a moron!
Opwatch: ::Growls:: That does it!!!!!
Tomorrow: ::Arches eyebrows:: That does what?
Opwatch:I'm going to make you sorry you called me a big fat loser!
Tomorrow: ::Sarcastically:: Yeah, right....
Opwatch: ::Growls again:: Today, get the SECRET WEAPON!
::Opwatch's pet wombat walks in with a giant feather::
Tomorrow:You *have* to be kidding! ::Sweatdrops::
Opwatch:Oh no, I am *so* not kidding! You will regret calling me names! Mwahahaha!
Tomorrow:Whatever, loser.
Opwatch: ::Growls:: Today, start the FIENDISH TICKLE TREATMENT!
Today:All right, master. ::Starts employing the FIENDISH TICKLE TREATMENT on Tomorrow using the SECRET WEAPON::
Tomorrow: ::Laughing uncontrollably now that's she is being tickled:: You guys hahaha are the worst hahaha villains I've ever hahahaha seen hahahaha!
Opwatch:Use the full force of the SECRET WEAPON!
Today:All right boss! ::Does so and Tomorrow keeps laughing like a hyena watching George Carlin (strange simile yes? ^_^)::
Meanwhile, back to the main plot....which just happened to be shot in the head by a fanfic author who just happened to resemble me...
::Vash and the crew arrive outside of Mayor O'Clock's office::
Millisecond:Here we are, right outside of Mayor O'Clock's office! He'll probably tell us something important, I bet ya!
Milly: ::Blinks:: Important, what do you mean important?
Millisecond:I dunno, maybe something like the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower is filled with all sorts of traps and powerful guardians and whatnot.
Vash:Uhhhh, why didn't you just tell us that before?
Millisecond:You know Vash, I just don't know. Maybe it's because I'm supposed to foreshadow now?
Vash: ::Sweatdrops:: I don't think so.
Wolfwood:Like I said, this is going to be a LOOOOONG day.
Vash:I couldn't agree with you more.
Meryl:Well, let's at *least* get this over with.
Millisecond: ::Nods:: All right. ::Knocks on the door::
Vash:Ummm, isn't it sort of customary to go inside and ask for the mayor?
Millisecond: ::Blinks:: Oh yeah! ::Vash-tachi all sweatdrop as Millisecond opens the door and they enter. It's your basic mayor's office type of place, with a secretary in the front and stuff like that. Just picture City Hall, because I really don't feel like describing it anymore than I did::
Secretary:Yeeeeees?
Millisecond:We have to see Mayor O'Clock.
Secretary:One minute please. ::Gets out a megaphone and yells in it:: MAYOR O'CLOCK, YOU HAVE VISITORS!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: That sure isn't normal.
::The mayor walks into the room::
Mayor O'Clock:What can I do for you Secretary Sundial? Do you need another session with the 'Ten Hour Man?' ::Arching eyebrows at the Secretary as if suggesting something::
Secretary Sundial:No, not now sir. You have *actual* visitors this time.
Mayor O'Clock:Oh, of course! ::Grumbles something about 'new toys' and 'fun costumes' under his breath (really subtle, eh? ^_^):: So, what is it that you vagabonds need?
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Well, we would appreciate it if you don't call us vagabonds.
Mayor O'Clock:All right, done! My work here is finished, come Secretary Sundial, to the cafeteria!
Secretary Sundial:Ummmm sir, I don't think they're done yet.
Mayor O'Clock:Oh, of course! I knew that! ::Grumbles something about 'domineering females' and 'whips' under his breath this time (again, the subtleties are amazing! ^_^)::
Millisecond:Yes, of course you did sir. ::Nods:: We have come here to tell you that we'll be rescuing Tomorrow!
Mayor O'Clock:All right, have a jolly good time with that! Now, Miss Sundial, let us go to my office! I have some important 'papers' for you to stack!
Secretary Sundial:All right fine! I'll go there, but these guys aren't done talking yet! ::Runs into the Mayor's office and gets ready to stack these important papers...::
Mayor O'Clock:Oh, very good! ::Grumbles something about 'reaching high peaks' and 'fun with lotion' to himself:: Ummmm, so, how do you plan to rescue Tomorrow? And what the heck do you plan to do with her if you *do* rescue her?
Millisecond:Well, if I did rescue her we would be boyfriend and girlfriend, and we'll spend many romantic evenings together...and finally we would... ::Nose starts bleeding like a facet::
Vash:Is everyone in this town a hentai or what?
Meryl:Apperantly...
Vash:I miss towns like November, you know.
Milly: ::Nods:: Yeah, me too Vash-san, me too!
Mayor O'Clock:Hey, quit talking and help the lad out here!
Wolfwood: ::Stuffs a bunch of Kleenex tissues up Millisecond's nose yet again:: Well, at this rate we'll be sitting in here for two more hours!
Mayor O'Clock: ::Gasps:: That's time I need! All right guys, I grant you access to the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower! Watch out for the evil guardians, and don't die! Now if you excuse me, I have to see Miss Sundial for a moment! ::Runs into his office and slams the door, leaving an important question hanging in the wind. Will those important papers *be* filled or not?::
Vash:Well, let's get this fiasco over with.
::Everyone else nods and the crew leaves the office of Mayor 'Time to Stack the Papers' O'Clock and heads on to the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower. Of course, I have some little interesting things to do before they get there....but you all knew that!::
Wolfwood:So ummm, we have to defeat all of the various guardians of this tower, then we'll be able to rescue Tomorrow from the clutches of the evil Opwatch, right? Now why does that sound sorta familiar?
Millisecond:Yep, that's right. As for why that sounds familiar uhhhh...the author probably ran out of creative ideas and took a plot from another anime or something.
Wolfwood:Oh, of course!
::The voice of MV booms for the very first time in a Trigun ficcy, lucky them! ^_^::
Voice of MV:Hey, I am creative....I MADE A GUY WHOSE NAME IS FREAKIN' MILLISECOND FOR GOLLY GOSH GEE WHIZ SAKES!!!!! GEEZ!!!! NOW DON'T MAKE ME ENTER THIS FIC AGAIN MISTER! ::And the voice of MV then fades into the wind, just like all of my potential reviewers *just* did...::
Vash:Well, that explains why all this weird stuff is happening to us...it's because the author is off his rocker.
Meryl:Hey Vash, never say that phrase again!
Vash:Okay, okay, sheesh!
::Vash-tachi finally arrive outside of the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower::
Millisecond:Look guys, it's the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower! ::Points at the tower::
Wolfwood: ::Sarcastically:: Thanks for clearing that up, Millisecond.
Millisecond:No prob!
::Wolfwood sweatdrops because Millisecond (hey, if you shorten his name to Milli he'd be a half of Milli Vanilli, unfortunately @_@) was too dense to figure out that he was being sarcastic::
Milly:Ummmm, I guess this means we'll have to get ready to fight some guardians, or something.
Vash:Yep, but I bet they won't be very tough ones!
Meryl:Probably not, knowing our past experiences with this fanfic author...
::Vash-tachi all arrive at the entrance of the tower and enter. I mean, what the hell did you expect them to do at the entrance? Did you expect them to dance around it or something? Geez, some people! Yeah so anyway, they are greeted by an empty stone room with a spiraling stone staircase leading up to the other levels of the tower. Did I forget to mention that a big fat guy wearing Medieval type armor was guarding the staircase? Well, he was::
Fat Medieval Type Dude:Halt! Ye shalln't pass this gateway unless thee answer a perplexing riddle! If thou dost not answer this riddle correctly, thou shall not be able to pass this gateway!
Millisecond:Shalln't isn't even a *real* word....it's not even an archaic word for that matter.
Vash:Yeah, and you're guarding a staircase, not a gateway. ::Sweatdrops::
Fat Medieval Type Dude:Shut up! Ye can't pass the staircase if ye don't answer the perplexing riddle of the gatekeeper, me, whom thou should address as Sir Decade the Great, so there!
Meryl:Fine, whatever. So what's this tough riddle we have to answer Sir Decade the Loser?
Wolfwood: ::Chuckles slightly:: That was a pretty good one Meryl.
Meryl:Thanks.
Decade:Shut up, shut up! Now ye will get a riddle that's ten bajillon times harder!
Millisecond:Bajillon isn't even a *real* number.
Decade:Ye be quiet, ye wee lad ye! Okay, now for ye REALLY CHALLENGING RIDDLE THAT YE WILL NEVER SOLVE! *Ahem!* What is black and white and read all over?
::Vash-tachi (which includes Millisecond now because he is an honoree member of the crew, at least for now anyway) all sweatdrop at the same time at the childish simplicity of the supposed 'perplexing riddle'::
Milly:The answer is a newspaper...
Decade:What what what? How doth thee get my perfect puzzle, my elaborate enigma, my confusing conundrum, my difficult dilemma, my...
Vash: ::Facefaults:: We got the point, and the answer is that it's like the *easiest* riddle of all time.
Decade:No, Sony's Medieval video game has finally deceived me, how can they do this to me?!?!?!
Wolfwood:Isn't it pretty bad when you have to get your 'difficult riddles' from a video game, which has a level with three riddles in it that a unborn child could solve?
Milly:Yeah, that's *pretty* bad!
Vash:So anyway, can we go past now?
Decade:No, thou shalln't not go past! Ye made a fool of me, so thy can't go past! Hahahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha!
Millisecond:But we answered your dumb riddle!
Decade:Too bad, ye can't go past still! Hahahaha!
Millisecond:Okay fine. ::Pulls out a paintball gun and shots Decade with a barrage of paintballs::
Decade:Ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay, thy can pass....just stop shooting those evil devices at me! ::Moves out of the way::
Millisecond:Okay, good! ::Puts his paintball gun away::
::Vash-tachi all head up the spiral staircase, what strange guardians will they meet on the second floor? The answer to that question will be coming up in the next episode....err I mean the next few seconds....!::
Vash: ::Sweatdrops:: Was it really necessary to shoot him *that* many times Millisecond?
Millisecond:Probably not, but I can't stop shooting paintballs once I start. It's almost like a problem.
Wolfwood:Well, the first step to curing your problem is admitting you have a problem, oh and you did stop by the way.
Millisecond:Oh yeah, so I did. Maybe I don't have a problem after all!
Milly:Well, that's good Millisecond-san!
::And finally, the crew reaches floor number two to find another empty corridor and stone staircase leading up to the next floor. (I'm not very creative with the look of this tower, am I? Oh well, deal with it or I'm gonna bust a cap yo! Word up son dawg mofo homie G!) *Anyway,* the guy standing 'guard' on this floor was a skinny guy with a big gold clock around his neck::
Skinny Guy:Yo yo yo! Wassup dudes? I see you got up to floor two, that's cool.
Meryl:Who are you?
Skinny Guy:My name be Epoch E. Epoch, and I'm the guardian of this here floor. That means I can't let you pass, sorry 'bout that.
Vash:Isn't there some way we could pass?
Epoch:Yeah, but that way is so *dangerous* and *ruinous* that not even *I* like to talk about it.
Milly: ::Blinks:: Do you mean that we'd have to go up that stairway next to the one you're standing next to Epoch-san? ::Suddenly, a stairway magically appears next to Epoch with a wooden sign in front of it that reads "Stairway to Heaven"::
Epoch:What the who the when the what the...yo that is some crazy shiznict you's got yourself hooked up into, dawgs!
Vash: ::Whispering to Wolfwood:: What did he just say?
Wolfwood: ::Whispering back:: I dunno.
::We can't forget about my horribly executed 'Stairway to Heaven' joke quite yet, my friends! So, anyway, one of the (arguably) greatest songs of all time starts to play, 'Stairway to Heaven'. For no apparent reason really, I just felt like having it occur in this fic::
Meryl:Hey Millisecond, does being in this tower make you wonder? Does it really make you wonder?
Millisecond:Yep, it sure does. You know guys, I know this one lady who is pretty sure that everything that glitters is gold.
Epoch:Yo fomos (Note:Don't even ask), you be talkin' some whacked out shiznict up in this beoach, yo, so I'm gonna hafta bust a cap-a-tat-tat (Note:Again, don't even ask) up in this hizouse joint son dawg word!
Wolfwood:Uhhhh, that's a good thing right?
Epoch:No son, it ain't a good thing! Foo', what da hell do ya think it's a good thing fer! I pity da foo' who thinks that busting a cap-a-tat-tat up in this hizouse joint is a good thing!
Millisecond:Uhhhh, okay. ::Starts firing a bunch of paintballs at Epoch and the result is pretty much the same as last time::
Epoch:Yo homie, stop firing them paintballs at me and I'll let ya past, aight? Just watch yer back the next time you're on the streets, son! And be sure to carry lots of bling-bling for me to steal, gangsta yo!
Millisecond:Ummmm, I can *dig* that son dawg word peace out homie G mofo! ::Stops firing them gosh golly dang gee whiz darn paintballs at Epoch then there then there then...errr there. Yeeeeeeeeeees.::
Epoch: ::Sweatdrops:: Moron, you *and* the freakin' author of this mess of a story!
Vash:Errrr right, all right crew let's get going! ::Points dramatically to the stairway (and no, I'm not talking about the one I created for my horrible musical joke, either. So don't you go thinking that I'm talking 'bout that one, okay? Don't make me send you to your room!)::
Meryl: ::Facefaults:: We're still *not* your crew Vash...
Vash:Oh yeah, that's right! ::Blinks:: Ummm let's just get going then?
Wolfwood:Fine, the sooner we get going, the sooner we can reach the end of this moronic excuse for a fanfic.
Milly:All right Vash-san, lead the way!
Vash:See, I told you we have a crew Meryl! ::Sticks tongue out at Meryl::
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Oh, shut up!
Millisecond:Ummm, are we gonna get going yet?
Everybody minus Epoch:Hai!
Millisecond:Okay, okay.
Epoch:You best be goin' so mofos, before I's come back for lunch. Peace out G-funk! (Note:Once again, don't *even* ask.)
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: Uhhh, ooookay.
::And so, Vash-tachi all headed up the next stairway and climbed on up to floor numero three, which would only mean that they'll meet another stupid guardian! What fun that sounds like, yes? However, we'll have to pause as they go up the stairs so they can do some dumb things which I'll try to pass off as humor.::
Wolfwood:By the way Millisecond, you need some serious paintball gun intervention!
Millisecond:But what else could we have done there Wolfwood?
Wolfwood:Simple, we could just have easily pursued in comic escapades which would ultimately lead to our getting up to the next floor.
Millisecond:Oh okay, I'm sorry about that then. I gotta get rid of this crazy habit for Tomorrow-chan! ::Pulls out a little picture of Tomorrow and worships it, the rest of the group just sweatdrop::
Milly:Millisecond-san is kinda obsessed, don't you think Meryl-san?
Meryl:That's an understatement...
::So anyway, the five guys (and gals, and that pizza place, for that matter) all arrive on the third floor which amazingly enough, had the same designer as the other two floors. This time around the guardian(s) are two contrasting people. First we have a tall black haired girl with a police uniform on (along with a sword and two guns in sheaths/holsters), then we have a short stubby guy in a 'Giant Foodstores' shirt, along with one of those tags that says your name on it. However, since I didn't tell you these character's names yet, you're not gonna know it yet...m'kay.::
Guy:Hey, who are you people?
Girl:Yeah, who are you people?
::Before any member of Vash-tachi can even think to utter the slightest vowel or constant, the two crazy creeps introduce themselves (Note:Can you say I've been watching too much Ranma, or what? ^_^)::
Guy:No matter, your names don't matter! My name is Hourglass and I'm the guardian of this floor, I'm a bad ass midget wrestler with a heart of gold that also has a job working at Giant Foodstores! If you give me a bad coupon, you better check yourself out the door before you wreck yourself, girlfriend! ::Snaps::
Girl: ::Sweatdrops:: I told you not to do that Hourglass. Anyway, my name is Yeste R. Day (Note:Just when you thought my pun names couldn't get any worse, I pull this stunt on ya! ^_^), and I'm also a guardian of this floor! I'm a police officer ninja girl who can always come out of a fight smelling like a lilac, but don't cross my path or I'll bite off your fingers with my teeth!
::Hourglass and Yeste then make some symmetrical motions, like a sort of strange little fusion dance/Ginyu posse pose type thing going on. They then speak simultaneously...and the world is in awe at their AMAZING POSING SKILLS, BECAUSE THEY'RE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!::
Hourglass & Yeste:We are the guardians of the third floor of the Big Ben Alarm Clock Tower, we are the Mary-Sue Guardian Force and everybody.....::Dramatic pause:: LOVES US!!!!!!!!!
::Vash-tachi all fall over, then they immediately get up as if nothing ever happened like in all anime ^_^::
Vash:Are they *serious?* ^^;;;;;
Meryl:It looks that way.
Millisecond: ::Blinks:: Hey Vash, you took everyone else's sweatdrops, you sweatdrop hog! ::Hits Vash over the head::
Vash:Oh, errr sorry bout that. Oro. @_@
Wolfwood:Hey Vash, stop imitating Kenshin!
Vash:Okay, okay!
Hourglass:Hey, losers, pay attention to us!
Yeste:Yeah, losers, pay attention to us!
Milly: ::Facefaults:: We're not losers.
Hourglass:Shut up loser, and pay some damn attention to us!
Milly:But I am paying attention...
Hourglass:Pay attention loser, geez, can't you see that I'm the model of male perfectionism? I mean, I have raw sexual energy here...plus I'm super strong, super fast, omnipotent, super smart, all powerful, and I hold down an ordinary lifestyle on top of it all! What's not to love about me?
Meryl:Well, there is the little fact that you're a Mary-Sue, that's kinda unlikable. By the way, omnipotent means all powerful...
Hourglass:Shut up loser, geez loser, shut up!
Yeste: ::Sweatdrops:: You handled that pretty well!
Millisecond:That's it, I can't take this nonsense anymore! ::Gets out his trusty paintball gun::
Vash:No Millisecond, don't do it! You'll only be giving into your problem more!
Millisecond:But these guys are freakin' annoying!
Vash:Yes, that may be true, but we'll be able to defeat them some other, more comical and less predictable, way!
Yeste:Yeah right, it's impossible to beat the Mary-Sue Guardian Force of Pure Perfection! My exotic feminine charm will stop all of you testosterone driven morons dead in your tracks, behold the power of the police officer ninja girl! ::Takes off her police uniform to reveal an extremely small tank-top which pretty much makes her huge breasts (of course) stick out like a sore thumb, not to mention the fact that she isn't wearing a bra (of course)::
Meryl:Don't be silly Yeste, the guys won't be allured by some big breasted hussie! Right minna? ::Turns around only to see Vash, Wolfwood, and Millisecond staring at a certain body part of a certain Mary-Sue's perfect body:: Nevermind. ::Sweatdrops::
Hourglass:Haha! Now that Yeste has defeated the guys, I'll lure you two sassy females in with my BIG MUSCLES! ::Takes off his own shirt to reveal a finely toned body filled with muscles and what not::
Milly:Wow, his muscles are so big! ::Has hearts in her eyes::
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Do I have to do *everything* myself? ::Gets a safety pin out of her pocket and pokes Hourglass with it. His muscles just happen to pop and sorta deflate. She does this again to Yeste, and her breasts sorta deflate as well:: It figures....
Hourglass:Noooooo! You popped my perfect midget wrestler muscles!!!!!!
Yeste:NOOOOO! You popped my perfectly round, ripe, beautiful globes!!!!!!! My prize feminine charm is *GONE!* GAH! YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: These two have to be the strangest guardians we had to fight yet, and the most arousing for that matter....::Smiles cheesily::
Millisecond:Get a grip man! ::Turns chibi and clamps on to Yeste's chest, everybody sweatdrops::
Yeste: ::Cracks Millisecond over the head with her fist:: HENTAI!
Vash:Nothing ever changes, does it? Oh well, let's get this over with all ready.
Meryl:All right Vash, do your thang!
Vash:Never say thang again Meryl.....
Meryl:Heh, all right, just do it okay?!?!
Vash:Okay! ::Takes out a container labeled 'Mary-Sue White Out' out of his coat and squirts it at Yeste and Hourglass. When it hits them, they start to melt away::
Hourglass:Nooooo, I'm melting, I'm melting, oh what a world this is!
Yeste:What will the world do without my perfection? Why did I, the greatest, most beautiful, most powerful, most sexiest, wait, that's not grammatically correct. *Bleep* *Bleep* *Blip*. Most I'm making words up now, error...error...does not compute...error.
::And so, those two wackos die::
Milly:Ummmm, ::Pokes Millisecond with a stick she got from hammerspace:: Millisecond-san, are you okay?
Millisecond: ::Lying on the ground face first, like in most anime ^_^:: Couldn't be better...
Vash:All right then, let's go!
::And so, Millisecond gets up and the gaggle of Trigun characters (gaggle is a term for a group of Trigun characters, I bet'cha didn't know that! ^_^ And yes, I made that up...it really isn't a term for a group of Trigun characters.) all head up the stairs to the next level. I really don't have any weird little antics for them this time around, so I'm just gonna get to the point. All five of them arrive on the floor, only to find Opwatch's talking pet wombat, Today, guarding the stairway to the next floor::
Today: ::Looks over at Vash-tachi and munches on some Chrono Chips:: Hey guys, do you want some Chrono Chips?
Milly:Ummm, no thanks wombat-san.
Meryl:Yeah, I'll pass on those...
Wolfwood:Me too...
Vash:Ditto.
Millisecond:Insert a stock dialogue comment in here. ::Blinks:: Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to say that...that was what the script said! Damn it! ::Takes out a small piece of paper and sets it on fire:: BURN DAMN YOU, BURN YOU SCRIPT! MWAHAHAHAHA!
::Everyone sweatdrops::
Today:Riiiiight. ::Blinks:: Hey damn it, accept my Chrono Chips! When people don't accept my kind offers, I get really mad!!!!! ::Growls::
Vash: ::Blinks:: Hey, why does sound a bit familiar?
Today:Today angry, Today very angry!!!!! ::Growls louder, proceeds to be engulfed by a green aura, then turns green and gets bigger ala the Incredible Hunk::
Meryl: ::Rolls eyes:: Not *THIS* stupid gag again! Fine, damn it you moronic author, I'll do it *again!* ::Proceeds to pull out the ever so handy safety pin from before and proceeds to, yep, you guessed it, pop the Incredible Today's muscles:: There!!!! Are you all happy now? Damn you all too hell!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops:: I think we made her more angry *than* that talking wombat thing...
Vash:Yeah, it appears that way. ::Also sweatdrops::
Today: ::Facefaults:: Awww man, you wrecked my Halloween costume! Now how am I supposed to get candy next year?
Milly:Can't you just go as a talking wombat, Today-san?
Today:Errr, yeah I suppose I could. However, that doesn't mean I'll let you get to Lord Opwatch! You meanies didn't accept my Chronolicious (no, it's *not* a real word!) Chrono Puffs! For this your heads shall roll......or at least rock a little!!!!!
::Vash-tachi all fall over from Today's dumb jock, errr I mean joke. Sorry 'bout that, it's a Freudian slip! ^_^ Anyway, the five of them all get up right away in classical anime style (naturally!)::
Vash:Yeah so anyway, can we maybe pass to the next level?
Today:NO!!!!! If you want to pass, you have to get by ME!!!!!!
Wolfwood: ::Sarcastically:: Oh, how *scary.*
Today:SHUT UP!!!!! I WILL MAIM YOU, AND I WILL ROCK YOU!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Millisecond: ::Growls:: Would you stop *SHOUTING*, it's making me angry, VERY ANGRY!
Meryl:Uh-oh, that must mean he's gonna use his you-know-what on you-know-who!
Vash:Here I thought he was just imitating Marvin Martian...
Today:NO, I WILL NOT SHUT UP!!!!
Millisecond:GAH!!!!! ::Pulls out his paintball gun and pulls the trigger, however, it seems that he ran out of paintballs:: Holy lack of paintballs, Batman! I'm out of paintballs!
Today:MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Now you will *ALL* die!!!!
Vash:Ummmm, okay....
Wolfwood:Never fear guys, I'll save the day! ::Pulls out a whistle from hammerspace and blows on it:: Haha, with my patented Wombat Whistle (trademark of Cool Ass Wolf Products Inc.) Today shall be stopped dead in his tracks!
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: Since when did you have a company...
Milly:Yeah, and why didn't you tell *me* about it Wolfwood-san!
Wolfwood:Heh, errr...it was my secret project. Heh. Now then, let the blowing commence!
Millisecond: ::Sweatdrops:: Ummm, you know that can be misinterpreted buddy...
Wolfwood:Oh shut up!!!!
Today:HEY PEOPLE, WOULD YOU JUST GET ON WITH THIS THING ALL READY? I HAVE A VETERINARIAN APPOINTMENT AT THREE!!!!
Wolfwood:Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. ::Proceeds to blow on his patented Wombat Whistle::
Today: ::Hears a loud piercing sound and falls to the ground:: On no, I have been stopped dead in my tracks! Oh woe, oh woe!
Vash: ::Facefaults:: Man, somebody needs to get that talking wombat some *acting* lessons!
Today: ::Gets up:: Oh shut up, I'm being melodramatic! Now where was I? ::Gets back on the ground:: Ah yes! Oh what a horrid world this is! To die, to sleep, aye...that's the rub! ::Pretends to die::
Milly: ::Throws a few roses (which she subsequently got from hammerspace) at Today's performance:: Bravo Today-san, bravo!
Meryl:Yeah so anyway, let's get on with this journey guys!
Millisecond:Okay!
Wolfwood:Fine!
Milly:All right Meryl-san!
Today: ::Gets up again:: All right, let's go guys! Let's take out the evil Opwatch and save the day!
Vash: ::Facefaults:: That was *my* line! Besides, you can't come with us, you're *supposed* to be dead!
Today:Oh yeah, that's right! ::Falls back on the ground and pretends to be dead::
Vash:Man, this town is really messed up! Anyway, let's move onward!!!!!
::And so, Vash-tachi all head up the next flight of stairs to the FINAL (and I do mean FINAL) floor. I really don't feel like having humorous antics occur in the midst of their journey up the stairs, so nothing special happens this time. Anyway, when the five of them arrive at Opwatch's lair, they notice Tomorrow trapped in the cage and stuff...and Opwatch glaring at that big clock on the wall again::
Opwatch:Damn you clock, you shall soon face the wrath of S.T. OPWATCH!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::Blinks:: Wow, it's nice to get a line!
Millisecond: ::Growls loudly, and pulls his paintball gun out only to remember he was OUT of paintballs in the last scene:: Damn it! *Ahem!* ::Using a cheesy super hero type voice:: Well Opwatch, it looks like your evil plans shall be foiled by the mighty Millisecond and his crew of comedic gunslingers!
Vash: ::Goes all super deformed like:: Hey, I patented the cheesy super hero voice thing! Give it back, give it back! ::Pulls on Millisecond's pants::
Millisecond: ::Sweatdrops:: Is he *always* this annoying?
::Wolfwood just nods::
Opwatch:Hey, get out of my evil lair you non-evil people you...or else I will free Tomorrow!!!!
Milly:But Opwatch-san, that's the whole point we came here!
Opwatch:Errr, oh yeah! I mean, get out of my evil lair or else I will kill this....::Pulls out a banana from hammerspace:: banana! Mwahahahaha!
Meryl:Ummm, you're not really a good villain, are you?
Opwatch:I am too, so can it Tuna Head!
Wolfwood: ::Arches eyebrows:: Meryl, do you know what a 'Tuna Head' is?
Meryl:It's probably has something to do with a tuna and somebodies head, but that's just a hunch! Either that, or a bad dubbing got a stab at Opwatch's lines.
::Suddenly, a loud screech is heard coming from Tomorrow's cage::
Tomorrow:What the hell kind of heroes are you?!?!?! You're *supposed* to save the maiden in distress, not just stand around and talk about people with fish on their heads!
Vash: ::Sweatdrops:: She's right you know, but why do you want to save a girl like this...exactly?
Millisecond: ::Has hearts in his eyes:: Because she's the most beautiful girl in the entire world! ::Gets one of those weird flowery anime backgrounds behind him::
Vash:I shouldn't have asked. ::Sweatdrops once more::
Tomorrow:Will you just defeat that moron Opwatch all ready and get me out of this stupid cage!?!?!?!
Wolfwood:Well, I guess we're obligated to do that.
Opwatch:You will not do that, for I am the mighty S. T. Opwatch, and I shall DEFEAT YOU RUFFIANS FOREVER!!!! I SHALL USE MY ULTRA SUPER DUPER MIGHTY MECHA, TIMETRON! TIMETRON, I CHOOSE YOU! ::Holds up a green and black ball that bears a striking resemblance to a Pokéball, ironically enough::
Meryl:You can't fit a robot inside a little ball, baka! ::Facefaults::
Opwatch:Oh yeah, right! ::Tosses the ball aside:: Now then, where was I? Oh yes! TIMETRON, I SUMMON YOU!
::From out of nowhere in particular appears five colored elephant robots. If this seems slightly familiar to you, you may be suffering from old anime nostalgia (or maybe even from a bad case of Power Rangers syndrome?). I'd assure you this bit was *not* inspired by Voltron, but then I'd just be lying::
Opwatch:Hahaha! Timetron will destroy you all! *Ahem!* ::Cheesy music starts playing:: Timetron, form arms and legs! ::The elephant robots start doing so by combining together:: Form head! ::The robots do so again by the same means:: Form magical voice box! ::Timetron gets the power to speak magically, don't even ask me *how*:: Now, form Flaming Spear! ::The robots get a spear from nowhere as a 'Swaaaaang!' sound bit is played:: Haha! Destroy them now Timetron!
Timetron:Hahaha, I am Timetron! You shall die! Hahaha!
Milly: ::Pokes Timetron's legs and sweatdrops:: Ummm minna-san, should we be scared of a robot with cardboard legs?
Wolfwood:The answer to that question would be a definite 'No!'.
Milly: ::Continues poking Timetron's legs for no apparent reason:: Why would someone build a robot out of cardboard? ::A bad joke alarm goes off::
Vash:It's *obviously* from a B-movie, Milly! ::That bad joke alert thing ceases making noise:: Wow, that's pretty convenient! Good thing that bad joke alarm was installed!
Opwatch:It costed me $$5 to install, the Evil Dude's Store was having a sale!
Vash:Oh cool!
Tomorrow:Can we get on with this all ready?!?!?!?!?!
Everybody but Tomorrow:Okay, okay!
Timetron: ::Voice turns all high pitched and such:: Stop it, that tickles!!!!!! Don't make me bake you brownies!!!!!
Opwatch: ::Sweatdrops:: Note to self, install a new insult chip into Timetron. New note to self, install a Spanish voice box to Timetron so only speakers of Spanish can understand him! Ha!
::Everyone but Milly and Timetron (if a robot could do such a thing) sweatdrop::
Milly:Oh, sorry Timetron-san. ::Stops poking Timetron::
Timetron:That's okay! Let's go have a pillow fight Milly-chan!
Milly:Okay! ^_^
::Everybody falls over as Timetron skips off in the sunset::
Milly:Hey Timetron-san, wait for me!
Millisecond:I didn't have a line in a while, hooray for pointless dialogue! Whoopie! ::Grunts:: Stupid big robot! It's time to rock and roll!!!!!! ::Pulls out a launcher rocket from hammerspace and fires it at Timetron, thus destroying the dumb robot::
::Insert a big anime type explosion in here::
Vash:Well that Timetron joke lasted about a page of dialogue, that's more than normal!
Milly: ::Blinks:: Aw man, they killed Timetron-san! Oh well, I guess I'll have to have a pillow fight with somebody else.
Opwatch:Damn it, my Timetron has been destroyed! I didn't even pay for the warranty! Damn it!
Wolfwood:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now then, we're gonna get this over with so we can get out of the evil grasp of this fanfic author! Okay? ::Before Opwatch can say anything, Wolfwood trains his cross gun thingamajig on him::
Opwatch: ::Notices Wolfwood has his cross gun (or whatever you wanna call it) locked on him:: Gah!!!!!! If I get shot, I will sue!!!!!!!
Wolfwood: ::Blinks:: But you'll be dead....
Opwatch:Errr yeah but.... ::Picks up a remote control off the ground and presses it rapidly:: ....I won't be dead if you *don't* shot me! Ha! Time Force, assemble!
Wolfwood:This is getting *so* monogamous!
::A random voice booms::
Random Voice:The word of the day is monogamous! Monogamous! Now I'm off to the strip club, see ya kiddies! ::The random voice dissipates::
Vash:This is *really* confusing and pointless...
Wolfwood:No kidding! ::Grunts:: Damn it, this is annoying me! ::Starts firing his gun::
::Suddenly a black, red, blue, green, orange and white strip flies into the room and magically block the bullets some how::
Opwatch:Ahahahahahaha! You're *all* deader than dead insects killed by Raid! The Time Force is here, so you're all dead...as I stated in my last sentence! Mwahahahaha!
::The colors fade to reveal five warriors in suits on the previously mentioned colors. Think Power Rangers (again, that Power Rangers Syndrome thing) and you know what these morons look like::
Black Suited Dude:I am Midnight and you're out past your curfew!
Red Suited Dude:I'm Twilight and my red glare will make your bombs burst in the air!
Blue Suited Dude:My names Morning and I don't want you to have a good one, America!
Green Suited Dude:People call me John, but *you* guys can call me Afternoon! I'll give you *one* lunch break you'll *never* forget!
Orange Suited Dude:My name is Evening and I have nothing relative to say!
White Suited Dude:And *my* name is Night, my costume really doesn't make sense but oh well! I'm gonna tell *you* where your children are, in my belly! Ha!
Time Force in Unison:AND TOGETHER WE ARE THE TIME FORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meryl: ::Sweatdrops:: How many more evil characters *are* there?!?!?!?!?! I mean, *c'mon!!!!!!!!!!*
Opwatch:Silence! The amount of evil characters doesn't matter because you'll be dead! No, deader than dead! You'll be pushing up dead daises that are dead! You'll be sleeping with dead fishes that also happen to be DEAD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Millisecond: ::Sweatdrops:: This guy is either insane, or he's just an idiot. Hey, you know....this line doesn't really move the limited plot along at all. Imagine that!
Tomorrow: ::Grumbles:: Where's a super hero when you need one? Geez!
Vash: ::Coughs:: Now that the author finished making pointless lines of dialogue, let's get to the end of this climatic, end of series battle!
Night:It's not a series, it's a FANFIC!!!! ::Waves hand:: But anyhow, let's do so! Okay Time Force, prepare to use the SUPER TIME WARP OF DOOM!
Twilight: ::Sweatdrops:: Uhhhh Night, we don't have an attack like that...
Night:Damn! Okay, then let's use the DEADLY PENDULUM ATTACK!!!
Evening:We don't have an attack like that either...
Night:The CATACLYSMIC BIG BEN BLENDER?
Afternoon:Nope...
Night:The APOCALYPTIC TIMEX WATCH SHUFFLE?
Morning:No...
Night:Okay, what's our ultimate attack called again?
Midnight:It's the DEADLY, HORRIBLE MACARENA ATTACK!
Night:Okay then, we'll use that! TIME FORCE, PREPARE THE MACARENA ATTACK!
::Afternoon pulls out a boom box from hammerspace and turns it on. Suddenly, the Macarena starts playing and the Time Force all start doing the Macarena::
::Vash-tachi all sweatdrop::
Wolfwood:This is the *stupidest* thing I ever saw!
Meryl:Yeah, I agree!
Vash:Hey Millisecond, do you got any paintballs left?
Millisecond:No, but look over there ::Points on the ground where six paintballs (which just happen to be using the same color scheme as the Time Force) magically appeared:: there's six!
Vash:Well pick 'em up all ready!
Millisecond: ::Picks up the mysteriously appearing paintballs and loads them into his guy, then proceeds to fire one (of the appropriate color) at each member of the Time Force:: Take that, you evil Macarena bastards!
::One by one, the Time Force get hit by paintballs and they all fall down::
Night:Oh what a cruel world it is. ::Twitches:: Will you tell my sister that I love her? ::Gasps, and dies dramatically...even though a paintball won't kill ya::
Afternoon:I'm dying so damn slow. I can see my life flashing before my eyes multiple times. Why do film makers make the death scenes last so long? Alas, cruel world! ::Dies dramatically as well, even though a paintball won't kill ya (as said before)::
::The other four members of the Time Force die less dramatically because I couldn't think of anything relevant for them to say, so....they die even though it was a paintball attack. Who the hell dies from a paintball attack anyway? What wimps!::
Opwatch:Nooooo! Now what will I do?!?!?!?
Wolfwood:You can casually surrender...
Opwatch:I will not! ::Runs to the closest window, which just appeared out of nowhere:: I can escape!!!
Vash:Uhhhh, this is a five story building...
Opwatch:Silence! My jet plane is out there ::Jumps out of the window::
Milly:Uhhhh....wouldn't we have seen a jet plane when we came in Meryl-san?
Meryl:Yep! There *wasn't* any planes out there.
Millisecond:Well he just committed suicide. ::Looks out the window to see an Opwatch shaped imprint in the ground:: Oh wait, maybe not. I guess he just ended up like a cartoon character. Oh well.
Tomorrow:Who cares?!?!?!?! Just get me out of this cage!
Wolfwood: ::Taps the cage with his finger and it falls apart, sweatdrops:: It figures.
Millisecond:Oh Tomorrow-chan, my sweet, sweet Tomorrow-chan! ::Runs to Tomorrow like in a cheesy romance movie (including that cheesy background music and stupid flowery background)::
Tomorrow: ::Facefaults:: Get out of here! ::Punches Millisecond and he flies ten feet in the air (and he starts waving his arms around like he just don't care! Then he started to say, 'Hey, hoe, hey, hoe!'::
Vash:Uhhhh okaaaaay, now let's just put the finishing touches on this fic. Ready Milly?
Milly:I sure am Vash!
Vash:All right, here goes!
::Vash and Milly start waving their arms around in the air a la Wayne's World, and the scene magically changes to Mayor O'Clock's office. Anyway, Secretary Sundial was rapidly typing in stuff and such.::
Vash:Excellent! ::Makes a thumbs up sign::
Secretary Sundial: ::Looks up:: Oh, you guys are back. Wow, you saved Tomorrow! ::Pulls out her megaphone and yells in it once again:: MAYOR O'CLOCK, TOMORROW IS SAVED!!!!!
Wolfwood: ::Sweatdrops again:: I'm *really* glad we're almost finished with this story.
::Mayor O'Clock walks into the room::
Mayor O'Clock: ::Grumbles something about 'Xerox machines that give bad backside copies':: Oh, what? Did you say my daughter Tomorrow was rescued Secretary Sundial? Yippie!
Tomorrow: ::Waves:: Hi daddy!
Mayor O'Clock:Hi pumpkin! Do me a favor and get a gallon of milk. We're out of milk!
Tomorrow:GET YOUR OWN FREAKIN' MILK YOU LAZY BUM!
Millisecond:I'll get it sir! ::Runs to get some milk::
Vash:Ummmm, okay.....we're leaving now.
Mayor O'Clock:All right, bye! Thanks for saving my daughter! Don't be a stranger!
Wolfwood:Don't worry, we will be....err won't be! Bye now!
::And with that, Vash-tachi exit the mayor's office and run far, far away from Tick-Tock. Now, as for what all the people in this fic have been doing with their fictional lives. Well, first off, Millisecond got married to Tomorrow, Mayor O'Clock insisted on it. He said that, "Any son-in-law of mine should be able to fetch me milk anytime!" and that's basically why they got married. As for the Mayor and Secretary Sundial, well they shot some adult entertainment movies like the 'Oral Office' and 'Debbie Does the Government'. Sir Decade the Great (or not so great) became a spokesperson for the 'Men With Ye Old British Accents Club'. Epoch E. Epoch started his own big golden watch store. Yeste and Hourglass became ghosts that were PERFECT IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE. Oh, and Today ate too many Chrono Chips and died a tragic death, Today's parents sued the pants off the Chrono Chips company and amassed a fortune.::
***OWARI***
And there you have it, the strange ending to my strangest Trigun ficcy yet (and that's saying a lot!). Well then, tell me wha'cha thought about....will you? You know how I usually make the ending notes a lot longer than this? Well this time around I can't think of anything remotely clever to say, not that that's ever stopped me before! However, this time I'm just gonna end on this note! Don't steal the cookies from the cookie jar, damn it! Sayonara!