Disclaimer: I don t own GW, I m poor.
Pairings: 1x2x1 Warnings: Slight angst, sap, homosexuality, a little splash of shounen-ai
Note: A lovely reviewer by the name of "Tasha" pointed out something which I have fixed with this story, but she/he said you don't blink "gently" you blink either "slowly" or "languishly (which is actually spelled languishingly, but never mind that) and when I looked up the word "slowly" in the Thesaurus, guess what? One of the synonyms for "slowly" was "gently" so I would guess we DO blink gently! Funny that. In either event I want to ask everyone that if you find an issue with this story please PM me OR email me (amarilloampharos(at)), do not put it in a review, also do not point out things if you are not willing to beta read this for me. It is a humble request, it is only respectful to a writer to discuss these matters in private and not display them for all the world to see, if you can show me respect I will act in a mature and like manner, please act mature, I am not 15 and I am most certainly too old to be dealing with any sorta drama at this stage in my life, again I ask if you find some kind of issue with this story please PM or Email me, it is all I ask. Thank you.
~~~~~~ Duo sat there staring out his window silently, the summer breeze wafted in gently ruffling his bangs. He closed his eyes against the soft caresses of the breeze, he could smell the dandelions, the freshly cut grass, and a hint of honeysuckle. Summer was beautiful in many ways, he opened his eyes sluggishly and looked out into the distance, his violet eyes meeting up with the most picturesque sunset. He gasped out gently as if the sunset had stolen his breath, and sighed out again slowly as he took in the image that lay before him. The orange, pink, and blue melding together to create a masterpiece of it's very own, a beautiful m lange of colors that seemed to go on forever.
He loved the sky, the summer breeze, the faint smell of life surrounding him, but what he loved even more was the endless depths of the cobalt sea and the great expanse of tan sand. What really got him every time, and left him in a hopeless stupor was that the ocean and sand belonged only to him. It was his totally and completely, willingly given over to him, trusting that he'd do the right thing. He smiled, his heart fluttered and he got a lovely knot in his stomach, this happened every time he thought about his lover. He closed his eyes again, just behind his lids he could see his beloved, replaying gradually in his minds eyes all the things he loved about Heero.
He loved the way he concentrated when driving, or when tending to business, he always had this wonderful scowl of concentration. Those mossy green brows shoved together, the way his eyes burrowed into whatever it was he was focused on. The sheer determination was gorgeous, he was once subjected to said determination himself, and continues to be. Duo smiled, he wouldn't have it any other way, the way Heero was always resolute to make him happy, to make their relationship work. Duo's smiled widened as he chuckled, they didn't have to make it work, it simply worked out perfectly on it's own. As if some greater spirit had divined their fate from the start, and played it all out so that they'd finally meet at the cross road and finally
jump onto the path less traveled...together.
He opened his eyes again and sighed out contently, he was hopeless, 5 years after the war and he was still head over hills for his beloved Japanese solider. It was a powerful feeling, strong, and unwavering, it never failed to amaze him the amount of love he had for Heero, although it did frighten him to some small extent. What never failed to make him blush was the fact that Heero's love seemed equally as expansive, and he showed it each and everyday. It was staggering to see, to feel, it made him warm no matter where he was, be it at work, or alone at home.
He frowned suddenly, but he never understood, and probably never would, was why Heero chose him. Sure he loved Heero to death and he was extremely happy, but Duo always felt as if he wasn't giving Heero as much as he was receiving. He was often subjected to a lot of criticism, people often told Heero he could do better for himself, and that Relena was the perfect choice for him. Duo felt his heart sink, Heero could definitely do better than him, he was really nothing, a common street rat with no family, no dignity, and certainly no pride left to him. He was a broken toy, only good to be discarded and never loved again by anyone. Yet Heero loved him all the same, despite the criticism, despite how people saw him it didn't deter him in the
least. He never let on that he heard the other Preventers around the office talking about him, how everyone seemed to feel that Heero "Perfect Solider" Yuy was much better off with Relena "Holier than Thou" Peacecraft.
He scoffed and pushed himself up, he hated to admit it, but sometimes he felt like he was keeping Heero from moving on to greener pastures. Like he was blocking progress for Heero, he liked to hope it was just his insecurities talking but the feeling was nagging. It was like a snake that continued to strike, even after it was long since dead, the poison would inevitably kill him. He closed his eyes, he wrapped his arms around himself firmly and held back a soft choked sob as he began to cry. He hated listening to the others, he hated doubting their relationship...He loved Heero...Heero loved him...what was so hard to see about that? No one dogged on Trowa and Quatre, but that may be because Relena didn't care for them in the way she cared for Heero.
"Why..." he whispered, it was barely audible over the silence that reigned in the room he shared with Heero.
"Why...what?" a tender, yet rough voice echoed in the orange tinted room broke him from his misery as he snapped his head up, tears rolling down his cheeks.
Heero looked at him, his face switching from mild concern to anger then to severe alarm in a matter of a few seconds. Heero crossed the room quietly across the hardwood floor that him and Duo had laid out together. He reached and wiped the tears away gently, Heero moved kneeling down gingerly in front of him looking up into Duo's eyes.
"Why what, darling" he whispered melodiously, his voice quivering a bit in concern. It had startled him severely, almost sending him into a panic when he saw Duo's tear streaked face, he felt his heart swell with an overrun of emotions he could hardly contain. Anger, concern, sadness, helplessness, all of them melding together threatening to consume him all at once, he wanted to let it out but it was no time for that, he had to be strong right now for them both, Duo needed this strength right now.
Heero noticed Duo turn those exquisite eyes away from him and look to the side as if ashamed to have been caught. Duo did feel ashamed, he was caught wallowing in self-pity and doubt, how would he tell Heero? He closed his eyes, all his insecurities surfaced at once he felt like he couldn't hold them back but he did.
"Duo..." Heero's rugged voice came, but it had an underlying placidity to it, knelt up enough to pull Duo against him, holding him tightly hoping the firm touch would assure Duo all was okay, he was there to listen.
Duo squeezed his eyes shut and held on to Heero, in Heero's voice he heard a silent plea he knew Heero was more than concerned for him it wasn't often he cried and when he did it was more often than not serious. Heero needed to hear this, he needed to talk about it, what good was this relationship if they couldn't share their concerns, their doubts, hopes and dreams? He drew in a ragged breath and slowly let himself open up,
"I don't really understand it...everyone seems to believe you're better off with Relena, as if...I'm just some nasty obstacle holding you back from a more promising relationship with someone who is obviously better than myself. I...I know I shouldn't say those things about myself, but their half right, you know? I'm just some stray mutt, nothing more really, I can't give you a whole lot, hell we'd barely be making it if it wasn't the fact you had a high position at the Preventers office...still I can't understand, do you think maybe you'd be better off with Relena?" He asked keeping his voice oddly calm but he was rambling which always indicated he was nervous and he knew Heero knew this as well.
Heero heaved a quiet sigh, it was half in relief and half in exasperation with his co-workers, "I've never felt I was better off with Relena, I like Relena as a friend and sister, nothing more. The guys at work constantly try to force her on me because their unhappy about their own lives so they right to rectify mine which is perfect as it is. Duo you're everything to me, I fell for you, for who you were, not what you could provide for me or who I thought you were, I fell in love with Duo Maxwell, the, as you put it, stray mutt." He said seriously but a hint of humor laced his words, Duo just smiled against Heero's chest chuckling at that last part.
Heero pulled back and moved lifting Duo's face up to meet his gaze "Duo, you're everything to me, even if we lived in a Cracker Jack box I would still love it all the same so long as I got to be with you, money and popularity at the office doesn't bother me in the least, because all I have to do is think of you and nothing else matters." he placed a languid kiss on Duo's forehead, Duo purred into the touch, "Though I understand the feeling of inadequacy, I use to feel that way often, like I was keeping you from doing better, holding you down I often felt you were better off with someone else." Heero paused thoughtfully as he recalled his initial insecurities "I stopped thinking that, I realized that if you felt that way you would not be here now, you would be where you felt you needed to be, and I have taken comfort in that knowledge." He kissed Duo's lips softly "Besides, I found it useless to question my circumstances when they are clearly to my liking" he all but purred against those rosy lips.
Duo felt his cheeks burn red as he looked into those cobalt eyes, Heero had washed away all his mounting doubts and insecurities in only a few short minutes. He was brought about to a rather violent epiphany which left him blinking in surprise and wonder. Heero was right, if he felt he was better off somewhere else he wouldn't have stopped to ask questions he'd up and left without a single word to anyone, he's done it before, the same went to Heero, he knew Heero wasn't one to look out for anyone else but himself sometimes and he felt the situation was undesirable he would've left a long time ago. Duo shifted he felt kind of silly not really thinking it through, but it'd upset him so much he was barely thinking as his mind had been fogged with grief.
Duo gave Heero a honest smile "You're right...leave it to you to know exactly what to say to push away all doubts, how ever do you do it?" He asked playfully.
Heero leaned down close to his ear "Hi-mi-tsu" he cooed into Duo's ear as Duo gave a light puff of mock agitation.
Heero pulled back and chuckled a bit as he kissed Duo again, Duo responded this time kissing him back, it wasn't deep just a firm touch of the lips. As they parted Duo gave a soft sigh and Heero moved on to the bed as he pulled Duo to him wrapping his arms around him, both of them enjoying each others warmth and the last remnants of the fading sun.