The One and Only Rise Kujikawa
00. Persona
Smile to the crowd. Strike a pose. Loud and clear now, tell the audience how much you love them, and then bow out with chants of "Risette, Risette, Risette" pounding in your head. Tonight, you are Risette, the singer and dancer. Tomorrow, you are Risette the model. Monday to Friday, you are Risette the actress. And with every day that passes the girl known as Rise Kujikawa disappears further from existence.
She is in her dressing room. It's a vast, open white space – white walls, white ceiling, white tables and counters. She sits in the corner, in front of a mirror, back to the door. The lights overhead burn hot. The room is stuffy, but there are no windows to open to let the hot air escape.
The face in the mirror is a pretty one, but lathered in make-up. It possesses a winning smile, and a shimmering pair of brown eyes. In a moment, the smile vanishes, and the eyes turn stone dead. Then it pouts, lips almost like a duck's beak. Then it smiles again, demurely, and bats its eyelids.
The face is not hers. As if to confirm this fact, she reaches out with her small, delicate hand. The girl in the mirror does the same. Their fingers touch.
There's a knock on the door.
"Rise-chan?" a voice calls out. She doesn't hear it. "Rise-chan. It's me."
She responds to that one. "Come in."
Her manager, Inoue, opens the door. He says a quick work to the security guard standing vigilant, and enters, closing the door softly behind him. He's an average man, never seen in anything but a suit, usually black, but sometimes blue if he is feeling adventurous. His brown hair is cut short and tidy. A pair of glasses with thin wire frames sit snugly on the bridge of his nose. He speaks softly.
"You were fantastic out there. Your fans were going wild!"
She nods. Those fans had gone wild. They had screamed, and cheered, and danced along and waved pink and white glow sticks around – the perfect crowd any performer would want. But they were not her fans.
Inoue frowns and moves closer. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I'm just tired."
"Of course you are. You gave it everything out there." Inoue holds up the notebook containing her schedule and leaves through it. He then sighs and snaps it shut. "I hope we're not pushing you too hard. If you need a break, tell me and I'll convince the directors. The timing wouldn't be great – you're a huge hit right now, of course – but you're health is much more important."
"It's fine." She smiles. "Really."
She looks in the mirror again, and it's a different girl who stares back. This girl is younger. She's pale. Her eyes are downcast, wary and unfocused. The girl takes a deep, feverish breath. Her head drops into her hands.
"Actually, Inoue-san, I need some time off."
He smiles in understanding. "Sure, let me just see which day would be best-"
"Not a day," she cuts in. "Longer."
He pauses.
"How long?"
"I don't know," she says. "However long it takes."
However long it takes to… the thought isn't finished. She doesn't know how to finish it.
01. First Impressions
Rise had escaped to Inaba with the hope that her presence in the small town wouldn't create too much of a fuss, but she had vastly underestimated the power of TV. Announcing that she'd be returning there hadn't been the brightest move, and though she managed to sneak in without much fanfare, rumour spread like wildfire, and a mere day after returning a crowd had gathered outside of Marukyu Tofu.
Not all of them were there to buy tofu. Most had come to catch a glimpse of the celebrity sheltering within. She considered giving them what they wanted... so long as they brought some tofu as well. One piece of tofu per look. Might as well turn all that footfall into profit for the shop, right? All she had to do was plaster on a fake smile, strike an enticing pose, and say something bubbly and she'd have the lot of them eating out of her hands.
The thought of it made her ill.
Her grandma had stood behind the counter, tutting in disapproval at the unruly behaviour of the crowd. She had welcomed Rise back without so much as a question, simply telling her to relax and enjoy her stay in Inaba, and to get better soon. Rise didn't know how exactly she would "get better", but appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.
Time went on, and the crowd outside gradually thinned as it became apparent that they weren't going to catch even a glimpse of Risette; the police had done a good job of allowing only those who wanted to buy tofu into the store, while Rise worked quietly in the corner, her back to the entrance, where only the uncovered parts of hair would be recognisable. The excited chatter dwindled to a few stray comments from a couple of office workers stood just outside the shop door that floated over to her corner.
"There's no one here except the old lady. Risette isn't here after all."
"I heard she was already here, but maybe it was just a rumour. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted."
Silence fell on the shopping district. Rise breathed an audible sigh. Maybe that would be the end of it, and Inaba would return to its sedate, easy pace. If she kept a low enough profile people would either forget or stop caring that she was there; she'd just be a girl who helped her grandmother at the tofu shop. Then she remembered that she had transferred to Yasogami High and wondered if she should keep the kerchief on her head all the time.
She continued to work in the corner. It was monotonous work, but enough to keep her focused. In normal circumstances she'd rather be working at the counter, talking and interacting with people, but now she was content to hide away; when someone entered the shop, they wouldn't see her, but a tall, dark cabinet packed with various type of tofu.
The silence was broken by shoes clunking against the hard floor.
"Sure enough," a new, easy-going voice said, "the only one here is your typical old lady."
Rise tensed. From her corner, she peeked over her shoulder. Three high school boys stood near the shop entrance. The tallest of three, with bleached blond hair and the look of a thug, scowled down at a brunet with a pair of headphones resting around his neck.
"Man, why don't you just ask if she's in back?" he bit out. He scanned the shop and spotted Rise's grandma behind the counter. "'Scuse me!"
Her grandma put on a friendly smile used for customers and shuffled over to the group, slippers scuffing the concrete floor.
"Yes, may I help you?"
The brunet's eyes narrowed at her grandma, as if she was out of place. Maybe, for a split second, he thought Rise had turned into an old lady.
"Uh," he stuttered, "is, you know-"
"Yosuke," the third boy interjected. Rise only managed to catch a tuft of silver hair from her position. The brunet, Yosuke, turned to him. This other boy said nothing else, and only inclined his head in Rise's direction. Yosuke's eyes widened at the sight of the girl standing quietly in the corner, decidedly youthful and watchful. Rise decided that was a good time for her to step in.
She stepped out from the corner and got a full view of the three boys. The tallest looked like a textbook delinquent: blond hair slicked back, a rough, narrow face with a noticeable scar above his left eyebrow, broad shoulders and a slouched posture with his hands jammed into his pockets. He wore a black vest with a white skull and crossbones emblazoned on the front, black school trousers and brown loafers. His face seemed fix in a permanent glare.
The brunet, Yosuke, was the shortest of the three. His gaze drank her in as he stood with his mouth agape. His hair was cut short and parted down the middle. He was wearing the summer variant of Yasogami's uniform, with his shirt untucked and the top two buttons undone, revealing a white undershirt with a red V-neck collar. His headphones appeared to be designer brand, one she once saw in the window of a major record store in Tokyo. For that reason, Rise thought he wouldn't look out of place in the big city.
The third boy stood quietly behind the other two with a completely neutral expression. He was tall, only a couple of inches shorter than the blond boy, though he wasn't as bulky. His hair was an odd and unnatural shade of silver she had never seen on a person before. His eyes, fixed on her, were of a similar shade. He stood with one hand resting on his hip, with the other hanging lazily. He, too, wore Yasogami's summer uniform. Where Rise could tell what the other two were thinking, she was unable to read this boy.
"What?" she said, unable to keep a sliver of irritation out of her voice. She hadn't intended on being rude, but the part of her that told her to be friendly to fans was currently on hiatus.
When Yosuke only continued to stare, the blond boy clicked his tongue and stepped forward.
"Are you Rise?"
"Yeah. So?"
"No way... are you really Risette?" Yosuke asked, finally snapping out of his stupor. She felt a painful urge to roll her eyes.
"What do you want?"
With a jolt, Yosuke seemed to suddenly remember something.
"Oh, sorry. Some tofu, please."
"Which kind?"
His face turned blank. Rise suspected that he had come to the store with other intentions, much like the majority of the crowd earlier. Only, he had been lucky enough to get into the store, and the other two had likely just tagged along, or were asked to come so he wouldn't have to come in alone.
Panic flashed across his face as he turned to the blond boy and, standing on his tip-toes, leant in close, supporting himself with one arm resting on his shoulder. He spoke in a hushed tone, though it was loud enough for Rise to hear.
"Kanji! Order something!"
Kanji brushed the arm off his shoulder and jerked away from the brunet.
"Why are you making me do it? You already picked ganmo a second ago!" he complained. Yosuke gestured frantically, the look in his eyes desperate. He sighed and spoke to Rise, "Dude here," he jerked his thumb in Yosuke's direction, "wants three ganmodoki."
"Oh, I see. I'll go get them."
Rise moved past the group to the stall where the trays of ganmodoki were on display. She carefully scooped one up with a piece of paper and wrapped it up before depositing it into a plastic bag.
"Man, but it's really her," Yosuke said. Rise glanced up and saw he had slipped into a relaxed stance, his arms crossed over his chest. He was speaking to Kanji and the other boy. "I'm glad I came. Mission comple-," his eyes flickered in her direction, "I mean... hang on, we haven't done what we originally came for, have we?"
Kanji gave a rueful shake of his as Yosuke cleared his throat and addressed Rise, "Have you noticed anything weird lately?"
Rise frowned.
"Weird? Like stalkers? Are you guys fans of mine?"
"I wouldn't say 'we'," Kanji said. He slapped Yosuke hard on the back, causing him to stumble forwards, "but dude's here a big fan."
Yosuke whipped around to Kanji.
"You little...! Why'd you let that slip?"
"Her curves, her posture, even her beautiful slim legs," Kanji mocked. Yosuke grimaced at every word. "You finished checkin' em out yet, or what?"
"Y-you're doing this on purpose, aren't you? I didn't say that! I never said any of that!"
Yosuke and Kanji continued squabbling, and Rise's earlier irritation slowly changed into bemusement. The other boy remained a spectator to it all, a trace of a smirk on his handsome face that disappeared as soon as it arrived. He sighed quietly.
"Guys, calm down," he said. The words were simple but made the two immediately cease their argument.
Yosuke cleared his throat again.
"Right, sorry. Where we were?" He put his attention back on Rise, though was unable to look her in the eye. "Um, maybe you know already, but it's been dangerous in Inaba lately."
Rise did know. The deaths of the announcer called Misuzu Hiiragi and the high-schooler Saki Konishi had been recurring news for months, and was a hot topic of discussion for Inaba's housewives, who were wholesome in their criticism of the police and their failure to identify and apprehend the culprit. She had been too busy with work to follow the case closely, but understood there to be bizarre circumstances surrounding the deaths, not least the state of the bodies when they were found hanging upside down from an antenna and TV pole. It was because of this that Inoue-san had pleaded with her not to return to Inaba for her sabbatical.
None of that deterred Rise from returning. Inaba was her childhood home, and one of the few places she could be a normal girl again. Or so she hoped.
Yosuke checked around the store before continuing.
"We're actually investigating some stuff about the case. Do you know about the TV show that comes on at midnight? It's not like regularly scheduled programming... how do I explain this?"
"You mean, that thing that was on last night? The Midnight Channel, yeah?"
Yosuke was relieved that he didn't have to explain it, but then quickly became alarmed.
"Wait, you mean you saw it last night?"
"I heard the rumours from some friends of mine," Rise explained, "but that girl last night wasn't me. I've never been filmed wearing that swimsuit before, and the bust..."
"Huh?"
"Mine aren't that big."
Yosuke's gaze dropped for a moment.
"Oh yeah, I see what you mean now... I mean, what am I saying? S-sorry!"
"Don't apologise so much," Rise said, unable to prevent her lips curling into a slight smile. She had been dreading interacting with fans all day, but Yosuke bumbling about earnestly and his bickering with Kanji had been a refreshing change from the norm. "You're funny."
"Hey, she smiled," Yosuke said with a touch of pride.
Rise felt some of the tension leave her, now that it was apparent the boys weren't there to gawk or harass her for pictures and an autograph (though clearly, at least one had "checked her out").
"What is that show about, anyway?"
The rumour she had heard was that if your TV was switched off during a rainy night, a show would come on exactly at midnight. She, of course, hadn't believed it, but found the rumour to be true the previous night when she had struggled to get to sleep and her curiosity took over. All that had appeared on her screen was a load of static, and the silhouette of a girl.
"Well, we're not too sure either, but we think the people who appear on it are the ones who get kidnapped next."
It took a moment for the implications to fully register with her. From what she had been told, the rumour of the Midnight Channel had been revised a couple of times. At first, people believed that it showed their soulmate, but that was soon dismissed when people reported seeing the same person. Following that, people thought it was random, and her friends had told her to just forget about it. So she did, even after she had apparently appeared on the show. But if what Yosuke was saying was true, then she would be the killer's next target.
"I know this is sudden, but we're not lying," Kanji added. The other boy nodded in agreement.
Seeing their serious expressions, Rise felt compelled to believe them.
"Alright, thanks. I'll be careful."
She finished bagging up the ganmodoki, and then picked out some other tofu from the nearby stalls to put in the bag. She caught her grandma's eye, who seemed to pick up on her intention and nodded approvingly.
"Here you go, three ganmo. That'll be 600 yen." She handed the bag over to Yosuke, who fished out three 200 yen coins from his pocket and dropped them into her hand. "There's extra tofu in there for everyone, as a little thank-you for worrying about me."
Yosuke grinned.
"Whoa, seriously? Thanks!"
"Yosuke-senpai, you can't eat tofu, right? Want me to take yours?" Kanji asked while reaching out for the bag. Yosuke pulled away sharply, the bag rustling in his grip.
"Hell no! I always eat what people give me."
The two left the shop, bickering all the while. The other lingered a moment. He seemed to be considering his words.
"Take care," was all he said, before leaving.
02. Shadow
A round theatre, with garish purple and pink décor. Two concentric circles, the outer populated by comfy brown leather sofas, the inner an elevated platform. In the very centre was a golden pole and gripping it was a girl in a golden bikini with an uncanny resemblance to her – wider hips and larger bust aside, she was a clone.
Rise had no idea what was happening. One moment she had stepped out of the shop because she had heard a commotion going on, the next she was here, in this strip club, while another her danced around the pole, squealing and giggling as she entertained an invisible crowd, all the while speaking in a voice that was hers. Every now and then this Rise would stop to stare at her with freakish yellow eyes, smirk, claim she was going to bare everything, and then resume her dance.
Was she dreaming? Had she finally succumbed to stress and fainted? She wanted to believe so, but everything felt disturbingly real; the thin, rough bristles on the carpet, the soft padding underneath, the hot and humid air that made it hard to breath, and the dizzying array of flashing lights blinking at her from above. Most of all, her head felt heavy and was throbbing with pain, her vision was unclear, like she was standing in the middle of fog, and she felt nauseous.
She didn't know where she was, but she knew she no longer wanted to be there.
All the while, the other her continued to laugh, continued to say she was going bare it all and show everyone the real her. She told it to stop. It only laughed harder.
"Isn't that what you want? To show everyone the real you?"
She did. But not like this.
"You've thought about it, though. You just want to tear off all the layers, one by one." The other her held a finger to her chin in mock thought. "But then, if you did that, what would you have left?"
The real her. She was sure. Underneath it all, the real her was waiting.
Wasn't she?
"We'll find out, won't we." The other her suddenly burst out into loud, raucous laughter. "They're all watching! All eyes are on me now!"
Stop it.
"Aww, what's the matter? You wanna show your stuff, dont'cha?"
It gripped the pole, leaned and spun around it. She pleaded with it to stop.
"Oh, she wants me stop. That's so funny!" Another laugh, piercingly high pitch and fake. Then the voice turned vicious. "As if that's even close to what you're really thinking, you little skank! You're me, and obviously I'm you!"
That couldn't be true. There was only one of her, even if she didn't know who she truly was. She had no desire to bare it all to anyone. She wanted to go home, and lock herself away, where nobody could see her.
"C'mon, look. You can't tear your eyes away." And she had looked. It was dancing again. Then it stopped abruptly. "This is me. This is who I really am. Not Risette, the fake celebrity! I'm sick of being some airhead cliché who chokes down everything she's fed and takes it all with a smile! "Risette"? Who the hell is she? There's no such person in this world!"
When she had left the stage while her adoring fans chorused "Risette" over and over, she had wanted to take the microphone in hand again, and tell them it was Rise who was working hard, not Risette. Yet, it had been vindication of all the effort she had put in.
When she had returned home to Inaba and people had come to see her, not as a homecoming, but as a desperate attempt to see a celebrity, she hadn't wanted to see anybody, but at the same time, it was flattering, and proof of her mark on the world.
Risette was a construct. It was a collection of ideas, from her, from Inoue-san, from the agents and directors and instructors. It became a second skin that clung too tightly, worn for so long it became a part of her. How does someone throw away a part of themselves?
That was why the other her wrong. It had to be. Rise couldn't vocalise it but she couldn't shake the feeling of displacement; that something was fundamentally wrong. This thing's words were a poison, and her natural response to the poison was to reject with every fibre of being. It shouldn't exist. This strip club shouldn't exist. The whole thing wasn't real.
She thought she heard another voice, telling her to not say it. But still, she said it, loud and clear.
"You're not me!"
03. You Are Me
After that, it was chaos. The other Rise had cackled and glowed ominously as it morphed into a giantess. The monster – there was no other term to describe it – stood well over ten feet tall. It had long, shapely legs, with which it hung upside down from the pole, and a deeply curvaceous body. Its skin was covered by a swirling mess of colours. It had no face, only a honeycombed dish where a face should have been. Rise's trademark twin-tails hung either side of its head, dangling towards the floor and swishing back and forth as the thing gyrated. Each movement was accompanied by a sensual moan and a sickly squelching sound, as if the thing was covered head to tie in lotion.
Rise had fled to the outer circle where the sofas were, behind the main stage, and it was there that she noticed for the first time that there were other people in the room. They were moving around too much for Rise to get a good look at them, only she could tell they were armed, and were fighting the monster. There was an explosion of lights and noises; battle cries, fire and ice and lightning materialising out of nowhere, the disturbing wails of the monster, and high-pitched squeals from a talking bear costume.
Before too long, a green light filled the theatre, followed by an even lounder explosion. The group of fighters were flung away from the stage and were sprawled all over the floor. She heard one of them – a boy with a distinctive head of silver hair - tell the bear to get away. Then the bear started glowing golden, and there was yet another explosion, and a blinding flash.
When everything had calmed down, all that remained were the astonished looks of the group, a deflated bear suit, and the other Rise spread-eagle on the stage, weak and exposed.
Rise approached the stage carefully. She recognised the group now: the three boys who had come to her shop to warn her about being kidnapped, and two girls, who she had caught glimpses of outside the shop. They looked exhausted, battered and bruised, but still happy at their success. Out of all the emotions rumbling inside her, guilt won out – guilt from not heeding their warning and getting kidnapped, and guilt from how they came all this way to help, and put themselves at risk fighting that monster.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault," she said. It was the silver-haired boy who responded.
"No harm done." He turned to look at the rest of the group. "Right, guys?"
There was a round of affirmations. Rise examined each of them, with their ragged, damaged clothes and scraped and bruised faces, and doubted that harm hadn't been done. But they appeared genuine, so she let the guilt fade away.
"Really? Thank god," she uttered in relief. She turned her attention to the other her. She was in a pitiable state, conscious but incapable of moving. Her hair was coming loose from its binds, and the yellow glow in her eyes had dimmed. Her face was pale. She looked like the girl Rise saw in the mirror that night.
Disgust and shame were the next emotions to go. They had surfaced strongly when the other her had morphed into such a grotesque shape; had almost escaped from her stomach, even. But when she rejected its existence, it felt wrong. She knew why now.
That monster had been dyed many colours, like several people had taken a brush and had taken a turn at painting over a blank canvas. It had no face, only the twin-tails that had become synonymous with her – what did the face matter when it had to be changed on demand?
Rise knelt beside her other self, and spoke.
"I'm sorry. You've must have been in a lot of pain up to now. You're a part of me, but I kept refusing to admit you existed. I was trying to figure out who the real me was, but I realise now I was on the wrong track: There is no "real" me. It just doesn't exist."
If she stripped away all the layers, would there be anything left?
Could she throw away Risette, which clung to her like a second skin?
The answer to both was no. She had no desire to strip away her very existence.
"You, me, even Risette… they were all born from me. All of them are me."
The other her smiled. Not that nauseatingly sweet, flirty smile, nor that vicious smile, but a genuine smile. Then she vanished, along with the fog clouding Rise's mind. Warmth spread through her, and briefly she caught a glimpse of an ethereal figure floating above her. A single, glowing card descended in front of her, before disappearing in front of her eyes.
Then, all strength left her body, and she swayed. She felt a pair of arms support her back and keep her upright. They belonged to the silver-haired boy.
"Easy there," he said.
"I'm all right." She looked up at his face. "You're the one that came to the store, right?"
He nodded.
"Yosuke and Kanji came, too."
"I thought I recognised you." She did her best to sit up under her own power and gave a group a single, beautiful smile – the first she had formed in weeks. "Thanks, everyone."
04. Recovery
Even during her hectic days as an idol, Rise had never felt so exhausted before. The two girls in that group - she recalled they were called Chie and Yukiko - had helped her home, all the while chatting away about how awful they felt when they left the TV world and how she would get better in no time. Rise had felt the questions pile up one after the other until her mind could no longer handle the load and stopped trying altogether, so all she had offered them were weary grunts and sighs. As soon as she hit her bed she had slept away the remainder of that day and a good chunk of the next.
When she examined herself in the mirror the next morning, she found she looked as awful as she felt. Any desire to take a brush to the disaster that was her bed head waned when that nasty migraine throbbed back into existence in a timely reminder that it was going to torment her a while longer. Overcome with lethargy, she spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep.
Her grandma was concerned. Not once did she press Rise on the details of her disappearance - which was just as well, because Rise herself wasn't sure - and instead nursed her. She wanted to get a doctor around. Rise was tempted, if only for the chance to receive some medication, but chose to believe in what Chie and Yukiko had told her: that she'd be fine after a few days. They, after all, seemed to be talking from experience.
A couple more days passed, and she felt well enough to resume thinking. Despite her physical fatigue, her mind felt strangely clear and sharp, as if she had just solved a difficult problem that had nagged away at her for ages. Even though she had been bed ridden, and looked a wreck, her spirits were as high as they had been for months. It was a weird mix, but one she embraced; she had enjoyed being gloomy and short with people as much as she had giving out fake smiles and love to the adoring Risette fans. She wasn't sure how exactly, but those surreal and harrowing events in the strip club had left her feeling liberated.
She wasn't going to be gloomy-Rise or Risette anymore. She was going to be the one and only Rise Kujikawa.
Eventually, she was able to start moving around again. The first thing she did was a spend a good couple of hours soaking in the bath. After that, she touched up her hair and, when she was finally looking decent again, had gone downstairs, pulled on an apron, and helped out around the shop. This time, instead hiding away in a corner, she flittered across the whole floor, stacking shelves, bagging items and giving recommendations to customers.
"That'll be 1,200 yen," she told one customer as she handed over a bag. She flashed him a pretty smile. "Have a nice day."
The man regarded her strangely, as if he hadn't expected her to be so friendly, and spluttered out his thanks before leaving.
"It's good to see that you're more energetic today," her grandma commented. "I was so worried about you, disappearing for a while and then turning up looking so ill!"
"I'm sorry," Rise said, for what felt like the 100th time that week, "I wish I knew what happened, but I still can't remember anything."
She reassured herself that what she was saying wasn't a complete lie. The details of her kidnapping eluded her completely. What transpired afterwards would be something she would never forget, but was definitely a "you had to be there" thing, and not something her grandma would belief or even understand.
"As long as you're okay, dear, that's all that matters." Her grandma moved behind the counter and flicked through a small memo pad. "You've had some visitors while you were resting. Those two girls that brought you in, Chie-chan and Yukiko-chan, came to check on you a couple of times – oh, Amagi-san must be so proud of how her she's grown. And a Detective Shirogane wants to ask you some questions, when you're up to it."
That was a new name to Rise, who had met Detectives Dojima and Adachi when she first arrived in Inaba.
"Was there anybody else?"
"That boy, Yu, with the silver-hair. Came to buy some tofu the other day, and asked how you were. Said he wanted to talk to you when you're healthy." Her grandma looked at her slyly. "He's a good looking boy. You shouldn't let him get away."
Rise's cheeks grew hot. She didn't disagree.
05. senpai
She never had time for crushes. Before she was Risette none of the boys in her school paid attention to her, and she had been too wrapped up in self-pity to pay any attention to them. Then once she became Risette, she suddenly had her pick of the field; a cue of hormonal, teenage boys wanting to get cosy with the resident idol, a love letter or five every month, and the target of appreciative leering quickly devolved from flattering to creepy.
None of it mattered. Romantic relationships were forbidden territory for Idols, in case they became victim to scandals and had their image tarnished forever. If being cute and having the right character was what attracted fans in the first place, the illusion of purity ensured they never left. Back then, it served as a convenient excuse to reject any and all advances made towards her, saving her the pain of telling boys she just wasn't interested in anyone who only saw her for Risette, and not Rise Kujikawa.
But now she was a normal girl - well, a normal girl with superpowers, apparently - and could pursuit a relationship if she wanted. And as luck would have it, she may have already found the right guy to target.
Yu Narukami was interesting. The first time she saw him, when he had come with Yosuke and Kanji to warn her about being kidnapped, he seemed quiet and reserved. He spoke little. Where Yosuke and Kanji had been easy to read, Yu had been stoic. Days later, he and his friends had come to rescue her from the TV world, with him in clear command. He issued instructions with sharp precision and clarity, and the others had followed without question. When that horrible monster emerged from Teddie, he had stood up to it, fearlessly, and told it that the truth they were seeking - whatever that truth was - was out there.
It was the coolest thing she'd ever seen a person do.
The others were cool, too, of course. They had all fought with courage and determination, each one wielding a power unique to them. Most of all, they were fighting for her sake. It was difficult not to be impressed.
Yet, Yu had left the strongest impression. Maybe it was because he was the leader, or because he seemed the nicest member of the group. Maybe it was his natural charisma; the way he could command attention without saying anything. Whatever it was, she had been drawn to him more than she had the other boys in the group.
It was on a sunny day in July that she had met up with the group and taken them to the shrine to discuss everything that had happened. Explaining that she couldn't remember much of her kidnapping had been simple enough, though the group's visible deflation at the lack of any new leads on the culprit left her feeling a little guilty. But what came next was more nerve-wracking. The sensation was similar to the nerves she might have before a big audition.
Today, she would show the group the Rise she wanted to be, and they would be the judges.
"Um… so…," she started. In her head, she went through several of the calming techniques she would use before a big performance, but none of them worked.
Chie responded with a friendly smile. "Hmm? What's up?"
Rise fidgeted with her hands behind her back.
"I-I really appreciate what you did for me." Deep breath. Moment of truth. "Thank you sooo much! I love you guys!"
It was about the happiest and most energetic thing she had said since returning to Inaba, and it was a genuine sentiment, delivered with a bright smile.
Chie rubbed the back of her head and wore a sheepish look.
"You don't have to thank us."
"Dude, she's so cute," Yosuke said, more to Yu than anyone. "She really is Risette."
"Well, I know I sounded gloomy and all from stress, so I thought you might not like me that way. Do I sound weird?" Rise sighed. "I'm sorry, I've practically lost touch with what the real me is like."
"Just do what comes naturally," was Chie's advice. Yukiko, standing beside her, nodded in agreement.
"I think everyone has multiple sides to them. You don't have to force yourself to decide on just one."
Chie grinned and poked Yukiko in the side.
"It's convincing when you say it."
"R-really?" Yukiko said, tilting her head.
Rise felt a rush of gratitude towards the four. Even though they knew who she was, and even though one was a fan, none of them expected anything of her. She had needed them to rescue her, but they told her it was no trouble; she didn't have the information they wanted on the culprit, but they weren't upset; she didn't know how to act around them, but they didn't care. She didn't think it possible that such a kind-hearted group of people could exist.
"I'm glad you're the first people I got to know here."
The four shared a look, and seemed to agree on something. Yu stuck his hand into his trouser pocket and took out a pair of glasses with pink frames and oval lenses. He held them out for Rise to take.
"Think of them as a present," he told her. Rise took them. On closer inspection, she could see a block multi-coloured stipes near the joints. She recalled that the group had been wearing glasses when they came to rescue her.
If that meant what she thought it meant, she would gladly accept them.
"I can help you in that world, right? You need my power on the team."
"We need you on the team," Yu said. "That is, if you're up for it. We won't force you."
She had already made up her mind before even talking with the group: that were they to ask her, she would agree to help them without hesitation. Part of it was out of gratitude for them saving her life, but another part of her felt like it was simply meant to be; that she had been kidnapped, had faced her other self, had survived, and had been granted the power of a Persona. This wasn't something she could simply walk away from, nor could she bury her head in the sand and pretend there weren't people her own age risking their lives fighting monsters in an effort to solve a mystery only they could solve.
And above everything, she didn't want such great people to leave her behind.
She unfolded the glasses and slid them on.
"How do I look?"
Yosuke burst forward with a compliment. "You look great! Right, partner?"
Yu gave a single, imperceptible nod.
"The glasses help us see through the fog in the other world," he said.
"They're kinda proof that you're one of us, too," Yosuke added.
'One of us'. A teammate. A friend. Emotions swelled within at those words. Crazy things were happening in Inaba currently, but coming back had undoubtedly been the right decision.
"I'll be going to Yasogami High, starting tomorrow. I don't have any friends yet, so don't ignore me, okay?" She fiddled with one of her pony-tails and glanced up at Yu. "I do owe you my life, so, you know…"
Yu's response was unexpectedly direct. "Sure. Just leave it to me."
Rise grinned.
"Then I'll be counting on you, senpai."
06. Gossip
Yasogami High was an aged building surrounded by trees, perched on a hill that overlooked the town. It was comprised of three buildings: one containing three floors of classrooms, another with two floors hosting recreational activities, and a modest gymnasium. Its grounds were cramped, and only just about big enough to hold one football pitch and a running track. Inside, the shoe lockers were stuffed into a small lobby area, while the floors were formed of planks of polished wood. The walls were painted green and grey, only the colours had faded over time, giving the walls a dirty appearance. Compared to the schools in the big cities, it looked like a relic from the past.
But while the building remained stuck in time, the people within did not. The students of Inaba were as up to date with what was happening in the world as anyone living in the cities; the impression that living in the countryside made you isolated and ignorant of the wider world was unfair to most youth, who had as much access to internet and television as anyone else these days.
So Rise wasn't remotely surprised when a barrage of questions came her way, just hours into her first day of school. Was she really just on a break, or had she retired? Was it true that she had cosmetic surgery done? Did they use auto-tune on her songs? How did she maintain her figure? Was she secretly seeing a boy? For that matter, what was her type?
The questions came from three girls in her class. They were normal girls, two with dark hair, one with brown, and all plain looking. There was no malice behind their words, despite the nature of some of the questions being personal and controversial. It was simple curiosity, bordering nosiness.
Rise's media training kicked in immediately, ready to deliver the delicately worded responses designed to protect the images of both her and her agency. She was on a sabbatical; she hadn't retired yet. She had never undergone cosmetic surgery, nor had any of the other talent. No, they didn't use auto-tune on her songs. Her figure was maintained by following a strict diet and exercise regimen. Her agency prohibited her from romantic relationships. Her type? She wasn't prepared to comment, but she liked all her fans equally.
Most of that was true, too. And yet, she wasn't an Idol anymore, and though it wasn't public knowledge yet, she wasn't planning on returning. She could afford to be more candid now.
No, she wasn't seeing anyone, but there was someone she was interested in. As for her type, well…
As if he was summoned by her thoughts, Yu Narukami himself entered the classroom.
The mood of the room changed. The relaxed, amicable atmosphere that came during lunch time became tense, as most people stopped their conversations to look at the foreign presence in their classroom. Rise noticed a few of the girls were whispering and giggling to each other; the three she was speaking to had redirected interest from her to Yu completely. A few of the boys, meanwhile, were visibly displeased by his arrival, and gave him a mix of weary and contemptuous looks.
Ignoring all the attention he was getting, Yu walked over to Rise's desk.
"Hi there, senpai," she chirped.
Yu looked from her to the three girls staring openly at him.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Just some girl talk. What's up?"
"We're all going to Junes after school," he said. He cast a look at the girls. "Study session."
Rise played along. "I see. Mid-terms are coming up, aren't they?"
"Yeah, exactly. You'll come along, right?"
"Of course!"
"Great. See you then."
Yu turned to other girls, inclined his head, and then left the room. One of the girls broke out her stupor to regard Rise suspiciously.
"You're already on speaking terms with Yu-senpai? Is he…"
Rise smiled coyly.
"No comment."
07. Date
Rise learned very quickly that Yu was a busy person. He participated in two clubs, worked several part-time jobs after school and in the evening, and had an ever-growing network of friends and acquaintances that he had to make time for. If that wasn't enough, he had to make time for study, his own family and his hobbies which, she had been told, were wide and varied.
It all meant that opportunities to be alone with the guy were few and far between.
Summer vacation would grant Yu a reprieve, and within the first couple of week she had managed to snag some alone time with him. He took her to see the sights: Souzai Daigaku, Okina City, and Aiya – that particular day out had been spoiled somewhat by the unexpected arrival of her former manager. The confrontation had somehow ended with her claiming that she had decided on marrying Yu.
Yu, to his eternal credit, took the whole thing in stride and went along with it. And even after she apologised profusely he waved it off. Said he didn't mind, that he'd always help a friend out. His reliability was off the charts.
It was soon the 20th of August, and a festival would be taking place at Tatsuhime Shrine. Yosuke had called around and arranged for the group to all go. Yukiko, Chie, Nanako and herself had used the opportunity to dress up in yukata. She thought they all looked beautiful; Yukiko looked natural, while the garb seemed to greatly increase Chie's cuteness.
The night was perfect for a festival. The temperature had fallen from sweltering to comfortably warm, and the sky was completely clear, allowing for an array of stars to shine on the town. Tatsuhime Shrine's courtyard had been decorated with colourful banners and ribbons and was lit up by paper lanterns hanging from the tops of the stands that lined the main pathway, selling food and advertising games.
There weren't quite as many people there as Rise had expected, though the others had suspected that would be the case. Even though the police had detained a suspect, Inaba was still on edge, and it would likely take some time before the feeling of danger truly left.
The guys were already there. Yosuke was tucking into a corn dog, standing next to Yu who was working his way through a bowl of shaved ice with strawberry syrup. Kanji was a little further back, in the middle of ordering takoyaki, while a practically drooling Teddie hovered around him. Kanji snapped at him not get his clothes wet, and nudged him back with one his thick arms.
It was Teddie, wiping drool off his lip, who first noticed the girl's approach. Rise had to laugh at the guy's reactions. Kanji had looked over and stared in wonder for a few seconds before looking away, his face burning. Yosuke's eyes bugged out of his head and his mouth was agape. Even usually stoic Yu had had some reaction: he left the spoon he was using to eat his shaved ice dangling from his mouth.
Rise thought those reactions alone were worth the effort of getting dressed up.
"It took us some time to get dressed," Yukiko explained.
"It's kinda hard to walk," Nanako whined.
Yu removed the spoon from his mouth.
"You look cute in it."
Nanako giggled and blushed. Teddie came over to offer his own flowery compliments. Rise turned to Yu.
"How do we look, senpai? Does the sight make your heart skip a beat?"
Yu nodded and, without hesitation, said, "You look great in it, Rise."
"That came out so naturally." She smiled slyly. "Maybe you're used to saying things like that?"
Dojima arrived before the conversation could go any further. He chatted with the group for a bit, before taking away a beaming Nanako.
"We gotta go two-by-two!" Teddie suddenly announced. He received a mixture of looks, mostly confusion and surprise, and at least two curious. "See, I've been thinking. It's the summer, you're wearing yukata, and we're at a festival. It'd just be wrong for guys and girls to walk around in a big group like this. We should couple up while we're here! It's the natural way of things!"
"What the hell are you babblin' about?" Kanji spluttered. Teddie ignored him and looked expectantly at the girls.
Rise held her hand up. "I agree with Teddie!" This earned her looks from Yukiko and Chie. "C'mon, senpai, why wear yukata in the first place? So we can have memories we remember fondly, right? So we should pair up right away!"
Though still reluctant, her words swayed them. Chie, unsurprisingly, put the ball firmly in the guy's court.
"Y-you guys decide how we'll split up."
The guys huddled into a group, the snacks they were eating forgotten. Rise made small talk with Chie and Yukiko and occasionally glanced over to check on the guys. Yosuke, Kanji and Teddie were in a heated debate, as Yu watched impassively.
Eventually, the group broke, and Teddie stepped forward with his arms spread wide.
"It's decided: I'm going with all of you!" he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"What's going on?" Chie asked.
"There were too many guys, so someone would have been left out. I just couldn't let that happen," Teddie said, shaking his head gravely.
Yosuke gave a strangled cry. Chie and Yukiko shared a look and laughed. To Rise, they sounded relieved that they had been spared the awkwardness of having one of the guys pick them.
"We let them decide and this is what we get?" Rise made a point of sighing loudly. "What a letdown."
If Yu was also disappointed by this turn of events, he didn't show it. He looked as composed as ever, scooping shaved ice into his mouth as he watched them go. Maybe he was being considerate by not picking one girl outright, maybe he wasn't interested in any of them, or maybe he was allowing Teddie to have his fun. She preferred the latter possibility, and when she looked at Teddie's face, she didn't mind him dragging the three of them away. His face glowed at all the sights, and he pointed at every stand and attraction with an infectious enthusiasm. Everything was new and exciting to him.
Had it not been for his complete inability to interact with females Rise might have enjoyed herself a lot more.
Whether intentional or not, every other line that Teddie spoke was an attempt at flirting. He was a messy eater and had a habit of spilling source and drinks on nearby people. Worst of all, he touched girls in uncomfortable places in a way that seemed accidental and innocent until his hand lingered in one spot for too long. Even with their combined efforts, the three of them weren't enough to persuade him to stop.
The four of them visited all of the booths, while Chie and Teddie sampled most of the food. They wrapped the evening up by visiting the shrine and making a wish. When quizzed on what they had wished for, Chie had answered better grades, Yukiko had answered better cooking skills, and Teddie wanted to score with "Yuki-chan", an answer which earned him a sharp reprimand that bounced off of him harmlessly. Rise had a number of things she wanted to wish for, and debated with herself for several minutes before settling on "continuing to have great friends".
They reunited with the guys to bid good night – a despondent Yosuke had to endure Teddie's blabbering all the way home, while a surprisingly beleaguered Yu left with a single "I've been busy" as way of explanation. Kanji had grumbled about Yosuke bringing down the mood, but praised the food.
It was on the way back to the Amagi Inn, where the sounds of the festival fading into the background were replaced by the almost-eerie stillness of Inaba's night-time and the sound of their sandals against concrete, that Rise asked Chie and Yukiko a pointed question.
"So, who did you want to be picked by?"
She almost laughed at their reactions. Chie blanched, while Yukiko suddenly found her feet very interesting.
"What's this, all of a sudden?" Chie asked.
"Well, it was your idea to let the guys choose, so I thought that you might have had someone in mind. Like," she drew out the word as she pretended to think, "Yosuke-senpai, maybe?"
Chie scoffed. "He wishes."
"Kanji-kun, then?"
"Nope."
"…Yu-senpai?"
Chie pafused. "I wouldn't have minded." She then chuckled nervously. "But why would he choose me?"
"You should be more confident in yourself, Chie-senpai." Rise looked at Yukiko. "How about you? Anyone you were hoping for?"
Yukiko was caught off guard by the question, but gathered her composure with impressive swiftness.
"Oh, I didn't mind, so long as I had a good time," she said. "We all had fun in the end, right? Even if Teddie was being, well, Teddie."
"Sure we did. Can't say the same about the guys, though. They looked pretty bummed out by the end there."
"Serves them right for not making a decision sooner," Rise said lightly. The three shared a laugh, and continued their walk in amicable silence.
She had only asked out of idle curiosity, but the conversation confirmed one thing for her: that when it came to the opposite sex, Chie and Yukiko were tentative. They became bashful, evasive, and standoffish. On one hand, it was a shame. The pair were attractive and had their share of admirers. On the other, it was something that worked in her favour.
The following day, Rise made sure to call Yu early. It was shortly after breakfast that she had taken her phone and dialled the first number on her contacts list (it had been her manager, but his name had since been buried). She sat on her bed as the phone rang. She examined her nails, recently polished and painted. Then she looked across the room at her mirror and adjusted her fringe.
Three rings later, Yu picked up. Minutes later, they agreed to meet up at the festival again that evening, just the two of them.
8. True Story
For weeks, Rise had told anyone who asked that she was not Risette. She only resembled the famous and popular idol. Uncanny, right? But no, sorry, she was not who you thought she was. Then, in a matter of moments, that whole effort unravelled. Risette was back for one day only thanks to the pleading of a desperate friend.
Well, she supposed, it was her own fault for not even bothering to disguise herself. Her denials weren't convincing when she looked and sounded like Risette. Maybe if she had changed her hairstyle, worn a pair of large sunglasses, and walked around in unflattering clothes, like her work apron, she would have had more luck. But deep down, the desire to look her best won out over her desire to hide herself, and to still be relevant in people's minds was somehow addicting.
If she was being honest with herself, she hadn't foreseen a make-shift stage atop a Junes department store in a small, rural town as the venue for her comeback. Nor had she envisioned performing just the one song in front of such a small audience comprised mainly of high school students, housewives, children and the elderly, while wearing her school uniform, with her friends as her band. Most of all, she would never have thought it'd all be at the expense of Kanami Mashita.
Yet there she was, about to take to the stage once again. And she was feeling a lot better about that than she thought she would.
The reason for that was simple enough. Though the whole thing was a commercial exercise disguised as a huge favour for the Hanamura family, the performance would be a representation of the hard work of her and her friends, and not some agency. In inviting her friends to perform with her, even though they were amateurs, she had turned what might have been a bitter, lonely experience into a cherished memory.
When they took up their positions on stage, the reception from the crowd was much louder and expectant than expected for such a low-key event. The cheers were like a signal for the adrenaline to flood into Rise, giving her the familiar sensation of tingling skin. With her back to the crowd, she checked on her band for the day. There were no signs of stage fright, just a silent determination to put on the best show they could.
She gave a single nod. Yosuke opened up with the guitar, and Chie and Yukiko followed up with their parts on the trumpet and saxophone respectively. Afterwards, they stepped back, allowing Rise to turn, step up to the mic and sing. The crowd cheered loudly, and the semblance of a smirk appeared on her face. For that moment, she forgot that people were there to see Risette perform, and merely sang as a normal girl, on stage with her friends.
The moment went by all too fast. Their short performance ended without issue and left only pride and satisfaction. The group were all smiles.
Then, a troubling chant prickled Rise's ears.
"Encore! Encore! Encore!"
"They're askin' for an encore," Kanji uttered in surprise.
"Oh yeah... I didn't think about that," Rise admitted, troubled. Her words unnerved the rest of the group, who had huddled closer together.
"We only know one song! What do we do now?" Chie squeaked.
"There are only two things we can do," Naoto said without her usual composure. "We either ignore them and leave or we play the same again."
"Maybe we can have Rise explain our situation, and they'll go easy on us and let us play that song!" Yosuke suggested.
Rise bit her lip and stared at the stage. Ignoring the crowd and leaving would leave them unhappy, even if their request was unreasonable, and if they played the same song again they ran the risk of boring them. Explaining the circumstances might work, but the crowd had come to see her perform, and she would have to let them down. Whichever option they went with, the end result would be unsatisfactory for somebody.
She looked over to Yu. He was staring into space, a sure sign that his mind was racing and he was thinking of something.
"What do you think, senpai?" she ventured.
"I think we should leave. We don't have much choice."
Rise looked out into the cheering crowd. Suddenly, she wasn't on a make-shift stage on Junes' roof anymore, but in a big arena in a big city. The crowd's number had grown from a hundred to a thousand and more, and the monotonous, incessant demand of an encore was amplified by ten. She would turn to her band and make a show out of considering another song, and then they would burst into life, and the crowd would pop...
That illusion was shattered by Teddie roaring and leaping into the crowd.
Teddie, in his almost spherical bear-suit, and with his red-blue-white colour scheme, looked like an oversized volleyball as the crowd bounced him around. The sight gave Yosuke a dangerous idea.
"Hey, why don't we all dive into the crowd? They might just carry us out of here and we can escape this awkward situation."
Yukiko's face lit up.
"Stage dive?"
Chie was quick to shoot her down. Desperate as they were, it was impossible for all seven of them to jump into the crowd without causing trouble. She explained as much to Yosuke, who only became more panicked.
"Then what are going to do? Do we have any other way out?"
"If you want to do it that much, then just the guys do it!" Chie suggested.
Typical Chie, Rise thought. Palming things off on the guys was her number one method of escaping awkward and embarrassing situations. Not that she blamed her much; the guys only needed the slightest encouragement to do something stupid.
Case in point...
"A-all right! I'll show you what it means to be a man!" Kanji said, standing up from the drum stool and striding to the front of the stage. He shared a look with Yosuke and then Yu, who both nodded. The three leapt off the stage, Chie's warning for them to stop going completely unheard.
The crowd's response to three teenage boys flying towards them was to part neatly down the middle. Yosuke and Kanji landed face first in the concrete, while Yu had managed to stick the landing and put himself in a pose resembling a guitarist in the middle of a guitar solo. There was an awkward silence, filled only by Kanji's painful wailing.
"I didn't know... it was possible... to stand on your face..."
With the buzz successfully killed, the crowd dispersed. The girls looked into each other and burst into a fit of giggles. Yosuke and Kanji groaned from the floor. Yu, with as much dignity as he could muster, picked himself up and straightened out his uniform. He cleared his throat.
"Mission accomplished?"
Yosuke just groaned again.
9. Cast
One brisk afternoon in October, with the sun setting in the distance casting an orange glow over the sky, Rise and Yu found themselves at Souzai Daigaku. Rise leant forward as she examined the stall's selection. Yu stood beside her, waiting patiently.
"What should I have?" She started thinking aloud. "Maybe our shop should do something like this. How about a ganmo kebab? Or a tofu croquette?"
"Sounds good. As long you take it easy with the spices, that is," Yu commented. Rise pouted at him.
"You just have a child's palette," she huffed, and continued to mull over her choice. The stall attendant waited patiently with a knowing look that she did her best to ignore.
"Why, if it isn't Rise-chan!" a new, cheerful voice interrupted them. Rise sent an apologetic smile to the stall attendant and turned around to see a man with white hair wearing a cream suit and mahogany shoes. She recognised him from a political rally.
"You're the deputy mayor, right? Good afternoon," she said with a slight bow.
"I heard the news! You know, about the upcoming film!" he said brightly. "You know Kanamin, right? Kanami Mashita. She got the lead role."
She stiffened at that revelation. The film was yet another sappy romance that she was initially meant to star in, before she took her sabbatical. It was going to be the biggest production she would be in to date, but her sudden absence had pushed it back until they found a new lead – or if she ever came back.
She shouldn't have been surprised that the role had been given to Kanami Mashita. "Kanamin" was a rising star, and now that her popularity had exploded, she would be everywhere.
"They're going to be filming nearby, right? I sure hope they stop by Inaba," the deputy-mayor muttered to himself. He sent an eager look at Rise. "Oh, I know. Why don't you ask?"
That explained why the deputy-mayor himself had come to tell Rise the news. As far as he was concerned, she was still attached to the agency, and the quickest line to them.
Rise looked away.
"I don't have anything to do with them anymore," she said.
The mayor either didn't hear her or ignored her, as he started mumbling about numbers and making reservations at the Amagi Inn, and left without so much as a goodbye.
No doubt a busy man now, dealing with all those stars, she thought cynically.
She sighed, and noticed Yu watching her. All she had wanted was a quiet afternoon with him, eating take-out.
Then she heard another, far more familiar voice and knew that would be impossible.
"Oh, Rise-chan. Nice to see you," Inoue said, dressed, unusually, in a navy blue suit. His demeanour was friendly and open – he hadn't come for another battle with her.
She regarded him reproachfully. "Inoue-san. What do you want today?"
"I'm down here scouting film locations, so I thought I'd come see you." His expression remained neutral. "I wanted to hear your answer one more time, face to face. Are you sure you're not coming back?"
His tone suggested he already knew the answer. She felt a prickle of annoyance, and found a rude dismissal on the end of tongue, but when she opened her mouth, it fizzled out into nothing. She didn't know why. Somehow, she felt that there was a certain finality to it all this time that wasn't there all the other times Inoue had pestered her on coming back. Suddenly, her mouth felt dry.
"I'm not going back," she choked out.
This was what she had said, all along. It was meant to be what she wanted, yet her words lacked conviction.
"Okay. I understand." Inoue paused, as if he was drawing a line under one chapter and preparing to start another. "Well, now I can focus on my new job. I signed up as Kanami Mashita's manager."
She bit her lip. Of course. Of course he had. The wheel never stopped turning; Risette may have fallen off, but Kanamin was approaching the top of her cycle
"Remember how we were talking about that movie? They picked Kanami as your replacement. We're going to sell Kanami." He spoke with certainty, like he was selling a pitch to a director. "I have every confidence she'll be just as popular-no, even more popular than Risette."
"I see…"
She didn't doubt him. The industry was not one for sentimentality, and every effort would be made to make Kanamin a bigger star than any Idol before her.
"Although, Kanami is an ordinary girl. We have to polish her so she sells." There he went again, talking as if she was a mere commodity. His tone then turned sincere. "But you, you had that spark. You learned fast, adapted well to new situations, had that smile that could be as strong or weak as you needed. And those acting skills of yours! You were like an old pro. You could have reached heights most girls could never dream of. That's what I think, anyway."
She listened to those words, and found herself speechless. How was she supposed to respond to that? Not even her most supportive critics or fans had given her such glowing praise before. She should have been flattered, and happy, but all she could do was stare silently at her own shoes. She bit on her lip harder, in a futile attempt to stop it from quivering.
"I need to go now. Stay healthy, okay?"
Inoue's footsteps signalled his departure, perhaps for the final time. She listened as they became dimmer, until she couldn't hear them anymore, until all she could hear was a dam breaking inside her.
Yu silently waited for her.
"He never told me any of that when we were still working together." Her voice cracked. "Acting skills? Of course I have 'em. What the hell? Telling me all that stuff now… it's too late…" She should have had no reason to cry. There was nothing to be sad about. But the dam still burst. "I… I don't know why I'm crying."
The tears were flowing freely. She swiped at them with the backs of her hands, but gave up when she couldn't keep up.
Yu stepped closer to her.
"Cry all you need to," he told her gently.
"I can't. My eyes will be all swollen tomorrow." She tried to laugh, but it came out weak, pathetic. "I lost everything. I don't how, but I lost everything. I'm scared. I'm sad. I don't know what's going on." She reached out and clung onto the sleeve of Yu's jacket. "senpai, please. Stay here."
Suddenly, she felt herself being pulled towards him, and a pair of strong arms wrap around her back. Her face was buried in his chest, and faintly she could smell him. Warmth overcame her, and she let it all ago. Trembling in his embrace, crying freely, not caring that she was making his shirt wet, or that they were out in the open. Risette had just been tossed aside – dysfunctional, unneeded, and replaced – and Rise was crushed by the realisation.
"You haven't lost everything," he said, when he felt her settle down. "You've got me. And the others."
He loosened his hold of her, and reluctantly Rise pushed away from him. She sniffled. He offered her his handkerchief, which she took wordlessly, and dabbed her eyes with. She felt light-headed.
"You're right… there are people who need me, aren't there?"
To her friends, at least, it didn't matter if she was Risette or not. It was not Risette who had made those friends, and she didn't need her career to have those friends. That part of her was very much alive.
But that was not the answer she was looking for. She needed to think things over again – why she felt bothered by Kanami Mashita's rise, why she felt like she had just been cast aside, why she felt like a chunk of her existence and been torn out, and why those feelings of regret that she thought she didn't have came to the surface. She would agonise over it for however long it took, but she would find out why.
10. Cracks
The October Culture Festival came and went, the leaves changed from green to amber and crimson, and a biting chill took hold in Inaba. Soon enough it was November, and winter would soon be upon them.
For weeks, the group were unable to find any fresh leads on the case. Not even the threatening letter that Yu had received revealed much, only that the culprit knew where he lived. All they could do was remain vigilant. Rise sensed then that there was an underlying frustration in the group at their lack of progress. The signs were subtle but there; the way Yosuke seemed to encourage more group activities than before, and how Chie and Yukiko appeared anxious when the case came up, only for them to steer the conversation in another direction in increasingly clumsy ways when it became clear that no one had anything new to add. Rise's seemingly endless store of conversational topics was beginning to look worryingly finite.
Still, the days went by as normal, and after she broke down in his arms at Souzai Daigoku, she found herself more and more at Yu's side, as if she were bound to him by a tether. During lunch breaks her feet carried her to his classroom. After school she would wait for him by the gate if he didn't have club and if he did she would kill some time on campus – mostly spent in the library where she would make token attempts to study before either falling asleep or doodling in her notebook - and meet up with him later. Yu said nothing about it. In fact, he didn't say much at all.
She hadn't thought much of it at first. He was always the quiet type, and picked his moments to duck in and out of a conversation. Even when they were alone, he seemed content to let her do all the talking, only offering the occasional comment to assure her he was paying attention.
But when she looked closer, she saw that even composed and dependable Yu was anxious. He spent more time studying the letter he received, searching for any clue, and checking the weather forecast. There were times where he seemed to be leading her towards Junes, but then changed his mind at the last second and took her elsewhere. Before she had a chance to comment on it the anxiety would always leave his face, and his shoulders would relax as the tension left him. Suddenly he was easy going and friendly again, a change of masks as smooth as he switched Personas in the TV World.
Then, on one stormy night in November, she saw the crack in his façade.
It was a deluge of events that left the group drenched before they even knew what was happening. A second letter was delivered to Yu, and he ended up being taken into police custody by Dojima. While they were gone, Nanako was kidnapped. As soon as he heard about this, Dojima had torn out of the police station and given chase.
When the group arrived on the scene, it was carnage. The delivery van, one Rise thought was familiar, was parked in the middle of the road. The back was open, and inside were cardboard boxes stacked to the ceiling, smothering a single wide screen TV. Neither the kidnapper nor Nanako could be found. Dojima's car was wrapped around a lamppost, while Dojima himself was lying prone on the concrete, his suit torn and blotched with blood. The rain continued to pour.
More police soon arrived. The night was filled with the sound of relentless rain mixed with sirens, and blue and red lights reflecting off the wet tarmac. Everyone examined the TV in the back of the van, so innocuous, yet alarming evidence of what had happened. Yu, though, was torn between the van and Dojima; his abducted cousin, in the grips of a serial killer in a dangerous world, or his uncle, lying on the ground battered and bloodied. He looked lost, and his eyes were fearful, like a child that had been separated from its parents in a big, busy place. As soon as Rise noticed, his expression changed – hardened, composed, perhaps even cold.
Adachi tended to Dojima, which pushed Yu back to the group to discuss their next course of action. Stoic as he looked, the way he constantly looked back at the scene gave him away. Rise was certain then that Yu was depending on them as much they depended on him.
11. In/Justice
Nanako's heart-rate monitor gave only a single, continuous sound; a type of white noise that blocked any noise or thought. It was impossible to think. She looked on Nanako's small body, tucked under the bed covers. Her skin was pale. She laid still, her hand hanging limply in Yu's.
Outside, the fog suffocated the town.
Rise felt the tears roll down her cheeks and escaped the room before the sobs could take hold of her body. She sat on a bench and wept.
Faintly, she was aware of activity around her. The others had left the room. No one spoke a word. A doctor was talking to Dojima, assuring him that they did everything they could, but had ultimately lost to the mysterious illness. Dojima said nothing. He only left. Rise knew where he was headed: Namatame's room.
It was his fault. Everything was his fault. The group had done everything in their power to save Nanako from the TV world. Namatame had been possessed by Shadows, and they cut him down, but he was still alive. Nanako, young, tiny, fragile, had been unable to cope. And the girl who wondered what heaven was like, and whether her mother was there, could now go to greet her.
It wasn't fair. Why did he get to keep on living?
Had they made a mistake? Maybe they should have acted the night she was kidnapped, and not the next day. Maybe she should have done a better job navigating the team through the dungeon's paths and past the Shadows. The time they wasted may have been decisive.
She was sure the posibility that they could have saved her life, no matter how slim it was, would haunt her for the rest of her life.
The group had gone after Dojima. She had followed. They found him but a few steps from Namatame's room, hunched over and panting, with his gown stained with blood from wounds he had reopened. A nurse was with him, pleading with him to return to his room. Dojima reached out towards the door and clawed at it. He cursed.
The nurse took him away. He stumbled past the group without looking at them. Rise caught a look of his pale face and lifeless eyes, and shivered, scarcely imagining how he might have felt then.
The next moment, she was in Namatame's room. He was out of his bed, crawling towards an open window while muttering furiously to himself. When he spotted the group, he yelped, and hurried towards his escape.
Yosuke and Kanji didn't let him.
They weren't gentle. The pair grabbed hold of Namatame's gown, and hauled him away from the window. He screamed and clawed at the air. Rise found the sight pathetic.
Suddenly, the TV in the room – widescreen, new, reserved only for important patients – switched on. Namatame's Shadow, with its disturbing yellow eyes, appeared and spoke with a voice tinged with madness. He was going to save everyone. Nobody would suffer anymore. He had succeeded with the girl. She was safe now, in a place nobody could touch nor corrupt her anymore.
The next moments frightened Rise. Yosuke's face darkened, and his eyes turned cold. With mounting dread, she listened as he told the group that nobody was watching; they could get revenge right there and now. All they had to do was push Namatame into the TV and leave. Easy.
It would be the perfect crime, and poetic justice – Namatame killed the way he killed others.
"…what do you think?" Yosuke asked Yu.
For several tense moments, Yu was silent. She thought it impossible that Yu would agree to Yosuke's plan. He would surely reject it outright. Even though the killer of his family was at his mercy, he would never agree. He was too kind, too good a person. He would know that Nanako wouldn't want him or anyone to stain their hands.
Yet, he remained silent and pensive. Rise shared a helpless look with Chie and Yukiko. Nothing they could say seemed to matter. She couldn't even find the words. It was one thing to encourage the group and keep morale high during tough times, but completely another to find the words to reverse a crisis, to cut through the heavy emotion and make them see reason. There was only one person in the room who could do that.
Helpless, she could only watch through watery eyes. Deep down, she tried to steel herself, in case she needed to step in and prevent her friends making a terrible mistake. She didn't know how she would do that, but she knew, that as unfair as Namatame surviving was, and as understandable and tempting as revenge was, murdering him would not even things out. They would only be left with regret.
Inwardly, she screamed. Why couldn't she say those words now?
Finally, Yu spoke.
"Wait a second."
"We don't have time to wait! If we don't do this now, the cops'll come back!" Yosuke hissed. "What are you trying to say?"
"We're missing something."
"What, exactly?"
A pause.
"Namatame's true feelings."
"But we just heard the guy's true feelings on TV! What didn't you understand?"
"Something's bothering me," Yu said. "We're still missing something. I know it."
Yosuke shook his head in disbelief.
"I've heard enough of this bullshit. Give me a straight answer: are we doing this or not? That's the only thing I give a damn about right now."
"Damn it, calm the hell down!"
It was the first time she had ever heard him raise his voice outside of battle. Everyone stared at him, stunned. He gave a wary sigh and ran a hand through his air. "Just, put him down."
Kanji stared hard at him for several seconds, but eventually clicked his tongue and dumped Namatame onto the floor. Namatame scuttled away, holding his head in his hands, nothing more than a quivering, mumbling wreck.
"You better have something worthwhile to say," Yosuke spat.
"I do. But not in here," Yu said. Yosuke glared, then stormed out of the room. Kanji followed, looking just as irritated. Chie and Yukiko gave each other worried looks and left as well, as did a pensive Naoto.
Yu sighed again, and scowled, his immaculate composure now truly gone. Rise watched him as he looked at Namatame, and for a short, horrifying moment thought he was considering finishing what Yosuke and Kanji had started; that he had dismissed the others because this revenge was far too personal for anyone else but him to carry out. But he looked away, turned his back on him. He was looking at her now. He offered a smile, but it was forced and empty.
She wanted to say something, tell him it'd be okay, but words failed her again. What could she say at that moment, with everything seemingly collapsing around him?
"Everything will work out. It has to," he said.
He was always the cool, capable and reliable senpai, but right then he was suffering as much as anyone else that night. Feeling she had to do something, anything, Rise reached out and took a hold of his hand. A farcry from what he had done for her, back then outside the take-out stand, but it was something.
"It will. I trust you. We'll get through this."
12. Reach out to the Truth
Yosuke was still seething when Yu joined the rest of the group outside, and was resistant to any suggestion that they needed Namatame's side of the story. Rise wanted to chew him out for being stubborn, but once again found the words dying in her throat. Thankfully, Naoto knew just what to say.
"Failing to understand and failing to listen are two very different things."
Yosuke had no response to that. Naoto was able to articulate what was bothering her and Yu about the case: Namatame had been strenuously investigated when he was suspected of murdering Misuzu Hiiragi, and yet any mental defect he might have had didn't come through. The police found that Namatame had no motive to kill her, so what motive could he possibly have had to murder Saki Konishi, and attempt to murder Yukiko, Kanji, Rise, and Naoto?
In the end, the group were left with more questions than answers, and the only way they would obtain those answers would be to question Namatame himself.
That evening, a miracle occurred: Nanako had clung on to life.
The doctors explained that resuscitation after heart and lung failure was incredibly rare but possible; that little Nanako had fought her way back from the brink was nothing short of astonishing. The relief in the group was palpable. Rise thought she couldn't cry anymore that night, but she did.
Emotionally drained, she slept well that night.
The group – sans Teddie, who was still missing – reconvened the next day at Junes, before heading to the hospital. Namatame was far more lucid, and after some encouragement, told his story. He really had been trying to save people by pushing them into the TV, but had been ignorant of the dangers of that world the entire time. When he found out, he showed genuine remorse, and his face twisted with grief and regret. Rise had almost forgiven him there and then.
Almost.
It wasn't because of what he had done to her. In the end, she had been fortunate enough to be rescued, and had gained friends and a Persona. Even though Namatame's actions had been like pushing someone into a river full of piranha to escape a speeding vehicle, somehow those actions had improved her life. It was a difficult thing to wrap her head around, but those were the facts, and the potential what ifs didn't appeal to her.
Yet as long as Nanako remained bed-ridden and teetering on the edge of life, she couldn't forgive him. In time she would, but there and then, it was impossible.
They were forced out of the room by a police officer, but had gained vital information from Namatame's story. The killer was still at large.
The problem was, they had no idea where to find him.
They split up once they left the hospital, intent on questioning everyone and anyone about the murders, and if they knew of anyone suspicious. Rise wasn't at all optimistic about their chances, although did her best to gee the group up. Glasses on, she wandered through the fog. Even though it was only afternoon, the streetlamps were on, and the lights were on in shops and houses. Natural light seemed incapable of penetrating the fog. Everywhere was wrapped in foreboding silence; she was shocked that anyone would be outside in these conditions.
Her questioning went about as well as expected. Most didn't even remember that the murders had occurred, while some were more interested in her, her autograph, and what type of boys she liked. She simply walked away then; fans were nice for many things, but not for simple, everyday interaction.
She only became more frustrated when nobody seemed to know where Teddie had gone. Plenty knew him from Junes, but none knew of his whereabouts, and were just as surprised as the group were to learn he was missing.
When they found him, she was going to give him a piece of her mind.
An hour later, she received a text saying that everyone was going to meet up at Aiya. She arrived at the small restaurant and was greeted by the rich, enticing aroma of sizzling meat and spices, and the glum faces of her friends, already sat at the tables and bar.
"Any luck?" asked Chie, sounding like she already knew the answer. Rise didn't disappoint.
"No."
There was a collective sigh. She took a seat at the table, opposite Chie.
"This stuff's a lot harder when you don't have a badge to flash," Chie said, deflating in her chair.
"It was the same for me," said Yukiko. "There was absolutely no talk of the case whatsoever, let alone the true culprit."
"Ditto for me," Rise added. She pursed her lips, like she had tasted something bitter. "Actually, in my case, I kept getting bombarded with questions and couldn't get them onto the main topic at all."
It was unanimous that trying to get information on the case was like getting blood from a stone. Even Naoto, who did have a badge to flash and was known throughout the town as a detective, had been unable to extract any new or useful information.
Yosuke was about ready to tear his hair out.
"What are we going to do?"
For the time being, they took a break. A round of orders went up, and within minutes the group were tucking into a warm meal. A combination of having to stick to a diet and simple lack of appetite prompted Rise to order something light, and even then she could only pick at her food.
After they finished eating, Chie summed up their situation succinctly.
"So, to sum up: there was no new information. The end."
Silence fell over the group. Naoto excused herself, saying she needed some fresh air to think. Yu and Yosuke followed. Rise slouched over the table and put her hand in her hands. Nobody remaining in the room said a word; all Rise could hear were her own thoughts clashing inside her head.
The culprit wasn't Mitsuo, nor was it Namatame. Misuzu Hiiragi and Saki Konishi were killed by somebody else.
That somebody, according to Naoto, must have a connection to the two victims, must be in a position to observe their actions, and must be someone who could approach the Dojima residence without suspicion.
Nobody in town had anything new to say about the case. The fog shrouding the town was a much more pressing concern for them.
Meanwhile, Teddie was missing. Nobody had the slightest idea where he was.
No matter how much she racked her brain, she couldn't find an answer to any of those problems. All she could do was wait, and hope that someone smarter than her could come up with something.
She didn't need to wait long.
Minutes later, Yu, Naoto and Yosuke stepped back into the shop, snowflakes still in their hair and on their clothes. Yu said a single name.
"Adachi."
When Yu explained his reasoning, it all started to make a disturbing amount of sense. And though they needed to confirm it, Rise felt, for the first time in days, hopeful that they were close to the truth.
13. Adachi
Let's be honest. There's nothing great about the real world, is there? It's just dull and annoying as hell. No one accepts that's the way things are. They're just stuck with it because they can't deny it, either. Those who actually succeed in life just happen to be born with the magical ticket called "talent". If you don't have it, you can either accept or deny that fact until you die.
Rise had called bullshit on that.
She wasn't naïve. She knew that it was her "talent", whatever it was, that allowed her to pass the audition all those years ago and take the first steps toward becoming Risette, the famous and successful Idol. She had received her magical ticket to a more interesting and fulfilling life.
And yet, she never felt at any stage that anything had been handed to her. You couldn't be an Idol on pure talent alone. You had to practice for hours every day, perfecting the dance routines, memorising the lyrics to songs, and learning how to express yourself. The schedule was relentless. She had seen girls more talented than her quit because they couldn't endure it, and she had seen girls far less talented succeed because they refused to give up.
Adachi had given up when he hadn't received his own magical ticket to break free of his boring and unsatisfying life. Then when one was finally handed to him, he cashed it in all too gleefully, without a second thought for the damage he would cause.
The truth was, Adachi's reasons for what he did were less profound than Rise expected. In the end, however he dressed it up with logic and his own life philosophy, he had done it for fun. Watching people suffer, manipulating events from the background, and getting away with the perfect crime were all a game to him. He was like that child who would sit and burn an anthill using a magnifying glass and the sun, or capture and tear the wings off a butterfly, only somewhere in his mind he thought that the ants and butterflies had somehow stifled him; that they were the reason why he lacked any fulfilment or joy in his life.
Had he chosen not to make people suffer for the fun of it, Rise might have found him pitiable. She didn't think anyone could deny that people sought things in life that were fun and interesting, nor could she deny that her devotion to solving the case wasn't entirely self-serving. If she had ignored the case, she wouldn't have made seven wonderful friends, nor would she have found someone to love. Without that case, there would have been no reason for them to come together, as they had done.
Maybe she would have remained gloomy-Rise, forever working in a tofu shop, forever running away from her public image, forever searching for a fanciful true self that may not have existed.
But Adachi had lashed out when he didn't get what he wanted. He never saw fault with anything he did. If he was stuck in the boonies, "nowheresville", it was because his superior had overreacted, not because he deserved it. If Misuzu Hiiragi and Saki Konishi rejected him, it was because they were gold diggers, not because he frightened them. He had everything to give to the world, but to him, the world didn't want it, so the world was shit.
Rise didn't think the world was shit. Maybe she thought that at times, when nobody saw the real her, and only saw Risette. Yet the same world had given her so many wonderful things as well. How many opportunities and people did Adachi forsake before deciding the only joy in life was to murder people?
In the end, he had no excuse. He had to be brought to justice.
14. My True Self
I've been thinking about it: why everything went blank when I heard about Kanami.
I ran away from showbiz because I was tired of being an Idol, tired of only being known as Risette, so there shouldn't have been any problems.
And yet, I was so angry about it. Why?
Because Risette is Rise, too.
That's right. Of course you would get it – you probably knew before I did. It's funny, how the answer was so obvious. I mean, hadn't I told my Shadow? That her, Risette, everyone else… were all me? I accepted it then, but that was a "me" I still didn't want to be seen as. It wasn't only mask I had. I wanted people to see that I had other masks, too.
It's an old cliché, but you really don't realise what you have until it's gone. When Risette is screwed up and thrown away like garbage, when she's not important anymore, when she's been replaced by someone else – that hurts. That's like being told you're not needed anymore, and you might as well go die somewhere.
Risette's name in lights. Risette, idolised by the masses. Risette who's name would be chanted again and again by her adoring fans. I didn't want to lose that "me".
I was in denial the whole time. I know now that you shouldn't run away from yourself. I ran away from my plain, gloomy self. Then I ran away from my Idol self. What am I right now? "High school girl, just enjoying school life", I guess? I probably would've run away from this current "me" too, if I hadn't realised how pointless it would have been.
I keep trying to become the "me" I think I want to be. I pick a role, and then after a while I keep chasing after the "real me" by picking another role.
Those roles are all "me".
The Idol, the star, the girl dressed in a frilly costume with a thousand expressions is "me".
The gloomy, stressed, and exhausted girl who only wants people to see she is not one dimensional is another "me".
The high school girl enjoying life with real friends is a "me", too.
There's no need to run away anymore. There's no need to search anywhere else for myself. I've already decided that I will live on now, as the "complete me". It'll be the best and worst parts of every face I've ever worn rolled into one. I don't know what it will look like, but I think that, the next time I look in a mirror, I'll find out.
15. Departure
In January, Rise confessed her love to Yu, and the two started dating. In March, Yu would be leaving Inaba to return to his parent's home in the city. Days after, Rise would be leaving, too, to restart her career in showbiz.
That left them three months to make as many precious memories as they could, together as a couple, and together with the group.
Rise wasn't scared of a long distance relationship, no matter what magazines and TV shows told her. She would miss him terribly, but it would only be for a year; afterwards, Yu planned on moving out of his parent's home and attending a university close to where she was. She could endure until then.
Besides, it wasn't like she would never see him. They planned on returning to Inaba whenever there was a long holiday.
It was a delightfully sunny day when Yu left. A pleasantly warm day, where the trees were starting to blossom, and the usual hush over Inaba was comforting and relaxing instead of eerie and foreboding. Everyone cried that day, except Dojima, Naoto and, to everyone's shock, herself. Rise took great pleasure in rubbing this fact in; that the big, tough manly men Yosuke and Kanji had bawled their eyes out, while sweet, delicate Rise hadn't.
She had already made her peace with it. Any sadness over Yu's leaving would be overcome by excitement and anticipation for the next time they met.
Then, on a similarly beautiful day, it was her turn to leave.
She loved Inaba. Her time there had been tumultuous, but the town was loaded with more good memories than bad ones. She would miss her grandma and the tofu shop, and Yasogami High, and the Junes food court. She would miss Tatsuhime Shrine, where she officially made friends.
She loved Nanako. The girl had recovered completely from her ordeal, and thankfully remembered little of it. She remained as pure and as sweet as she always was, and Rise hoped she never lost that as she grew up.
She loved her friends. Yosuke's friendliness and clownish behaviour, Kanji's clumsiness and surprising sensitivity, Teddie's childlike wonder, Chie's energy, Yukiko's grace and eccentric sense of humour, and Naoto's level headedness and knowledge – she would miss all of it. Nobody would be able to replace them. They had a connection forged through a collective desire for the truth, tested and strengthened through life and death situations until it was unbreakable and immortal.
It wasn't until she was in the car, speeding away, with Inaba and her friends and everything else fading into the distance, that the tears arrived. Already, she was homesick.
But soon enough, she would be back. Everyone would be different, if only a little bit. She certainly would be. She wouldn't be gloomy, or Risette, or the high school girl having fun, but the complete her – the only and only, Rise Kujikawa.
A/N: If you've successfully reached the bottom of this page to read this, then thank you. For a one-off idea, this turned into a lengthy piece of work, but one I think turned out okay. I hope you thought so as well.
This was far more conceptual and experimental than anything else I've written on this site, mostly because this was my way of covering a lot of ground without writing a full novel. Because you could do that for Rise, or for any of P4's wonderfully complex and fascinating characters. Maybe I should have done that, but for the time being, this will do.
Anyway, comments and feedback would be appreciated, be they good or bad, constructive or flame. Liked it, hated it, indifferent towards it - let me know what you think!
Thank you for reading.
