Into a Grey Sky Morning
Title: Into a Grey Sky Morning
Author: Jen – weisy (Livejournal Username), privateradios (Fanfiction)
Pairing: Danny/Flack (Major pairing) with a small hint of Danny/Lindsay and Flack/Aiden
Rating: R. Violence. Implications of sex. But no porn because I suck at it. Enough said.
Spoilers: Everything from Season One to Season Two.
A/N: Character Death. Full angst fic. Can't help it. Oh. This kind of, jumps around. It begins with the major plot in the beginning and then you go one by one with the pieces of Danny's life and then bam, back to the same we were in the beginning at the end. Nifty, I know. And, a major thank you to A.S Kessler who helped me greatly by reviewing and helping with editing.

He didn't mean to have all this happen to you. He didn't mean to have it hurt as much as it did. He didn't mean to make you so angry that your fist met the wall. You could remember the look in his eyes when the blood escaped your wounds, burning your flesh. The hole in the wall was covered in blood and plaster.

You were so angry that day. First, your crime scene ended up being in the most chaotic part of New York; evidence contaminated by the seconds. Mac was on your ass again about your reaction to a suspect earlier that week. He'd had your blood boiling, causing your face to be right in his, words spitting out onto his face. Your evidence was leading you nowhere and all this had reached its breaking point. Flack had yelled in your face that one Wednesday evening, and that was the final straw, and in order to feel again, you needed to punch something. So instead of aiming for Flack, you met the wall.

"Danny!" Don calls out, fear illuminating his eyes, "relax! You're scaring me."

You give him your look of death, your teeth grinding against one another. "You want me to relax?"

The blood drops fall from your clenched fists and splatter its shade of red onto the carpet.

"How can I relax, Don? How can I fucking relax?"

Another drop falls with gravity.

"How can I?" You yell, your eyes stinging with fresh tears hiding behind your eyes, Don takes one step back. His hands are shaking, his eyes are wide and you know you've scared the man to hell because he's not talking.

And Don doesn't stop talking unless something's wrong.

Another drop falls, its echo bouncing off silence.

You're both silent now. You can feel your blood dropping off your aching fingers and you watch the blood for a second - watch as the warm crimson liquid falls drop by drop. Drop. Drop. Drop. You began to realize that your emotions are just like those blood drops. Your emotions build up inside of you until you break and fall.

You look back at Don and his appearance catches you off guard. He's staring out the window, his fists closed and there's a small trace of tears streaming down his face.

X x x x

The day you were hired as a Crime Scene Investigator was a day that you would never be able to forget. You walked in with your new Dockers, iron-pressed white dress shirt, blue tie and a nice dress jacket to match with your pants. You weren't exactly sure how you were supposed to dress that day, but when you were picking out your clothes; your mother's voice rang through your head. Remember Danny. First impressions last a life time. So make sure you wear something nice with layers. Just incase you need to shed or add to fit in with the rest.

"Danny Messer." You told the curly-haired woman in front of you, your hand outstretched. And, for the first time in ages, your name sounded like perfection coming off of your lips.

She smirked, her eyes tracing your figure, taking in all that you are. "Stella, Stella Bonasera." And she shakes your hand, her grip firm and strong. Once your hands part, she crosses her delicate arms across her chest and her smirk widens as she glances at your body once again. "Danny," she begins as she takes a step closer to you and you quickly wonder if this Stella knows anything about personal space because she's very much into yours, "first off…" she reaches for your tie and you wait in shock as she undoes your tie and elegantly takes it off before rolling it into a ball and stuffing it into the palm of your hand, "lose the tie or before you know it, you'll be the new Mac Taylor. Oh, and do you wear contacts? 'Cause if so, you may want to wear the glasses to work now. Just a heads up before Mac catches you."

Xxxx

It was in the middle of October and you were in his bed, your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You're not so sure what happened in the bar and when you slowly turn your head to see the Don Flack sound asleep next to you, your heart flutters.

Something happened and you can't even remember it.

You slowly climb out of bed, slip your boxers on and look at the clock. 4:53 AM. Damn, work starts in another two hours.

Don mumbles and your gaze quickly turns to him and you feel your hands began to sweat with nerves because you're not ready to face Don right now. Not right after this, this first time that this had happened. When he rolls over and his back is towards you, you sigh in relief and you silently and quickly redress.

You slip out of his apartment, your back up against his door as you close your eyes and breathe. You're not so sure what was running through your mind last night when you were drowning yourself in beers but the idea of sleeping with your best friend was not the best idea.

Not. At. All.

And so, without leaving a note of any sort, you left.

Xxxxx

Weeks turn into months: it's spring time when you stumble across Aiden and Don in his apartment, their lips locked together, their hands finding one another. You feel your heart drop and it's Aiden who notices your present and in one quick and simple shift, she pushes Don off her and she innocently wipes her lips on her arm sleeve.

"Hi Danny," she says in surprise, her cheeks flushed.

You notice Don freezes at the mention of your name and he slowly turns his attention to you, his eyes staring at you hard. You know that from what happened that October night would forever be an important mark in your life and even though the two of you had talked about it, the feeling of missing love and betrayal still lingers across your presence.

You suddenly find yourself stuttering as you began to back away from them, your body inching closer and closer towards the door. You don't know why but the thought of Don's mouth, tongue and fingers were mixed with Aiden hurt you. It stung deep inside of you and at that moment, you wanted to leave.

"Danny," Aiden calls out, her voice soft as she moves closer towards you.

You move faster until your back collides with the closed door. She wears a worried look across her face as she is now within inches of you.

Across her shoulder, you see Don, his eyes never meeting yours.

"Danny, look, I'm sorry you sort of walked in on us. You okay?" She reaches out to touch your face gently and you jerk away, not wanting to be anywhere near her. She touched your Don the way only you're allowed to. She tasted your Don the only way you're allowed to. She took control, caught him under your spell and you want nothing to do with her.

Just the thought of her even gently touching your cheek makes your skin burn. So you push her away, your eyes filled with fire. "Leave me alone."

She looks hurt but you don't care. You push her aside again and open the door, stepping out once more.

You made a few mistakes in your life and it's not until now that you realize you may have made one of the worst.

Xxxx

Two years later and you and Don are talking like normal human beings again. The two of you hang out after work, joke around, play basketball but nothing more. Neither of you will allow it. No more will you fall into the tangled web that you two wove.

But today was the day that you shot the undercover cop. Minutes seemed liked days as you waited for your turn to speak. You wanted to the world to know that it was not, in fact, your fault. You were following your training like any other good cop would, but it seemed like no one was listening.

That night when you got home, you drank as much beer as you could and called Don, demanding that he should come over. You needed someone there, someone to make you feel human again and tell you that everything was going to be alright so without any hesitation, Don came.

You found peace in Don's presence that evening. Even though you were so wasted and the two of you were just sitting there on the couch talking about God knows what, you felt human again. Felt like it was okay to make mistakes.

And then, without warning, his lips are on yours and before you know it, his tongue is clashing against yours, the taste of beer and pizza mixing on your tongue. You're not so sure why, but you relax and let him explore your mouth, let his fingers run across your body and you can't help but enjoy it, his touch sending sparks up and down your spine.

Soon enough, one thing led to another and you're both tangled up in one another, shedding clothes as the two of you make your way to your bedroom. But this time, you know what you're doing and this time you aren't having second thoughts as Don pushes you onto your back, his hands working quickly on your belt.

That night, you fell asleep securely in Don's arms.

Xxxxxx

Before you know it, Aiden's gone, taking her past, present and future with her. You find Don in the locker room, his head in his hands and you try your best to comfort the detective. You sit beside him, your arms wrapped around him as he cries into your shirt. You knew that beside from the frequent one-night stands, Don was still in a relationship with Aiden. You and Don didn't mention anything to Aiden about it in fear of what others in the lab may think if the wrong person knows.

Don felt guilty of the fact that he was, in a way, cheating on Aiden. When he wasn't with her, he was with Danny. To both of you, it felt wrong to do this to the only other person that was so close to you, but a part of you didn't care because you felt that Don was yours. And only yours.

So when she left and your friendship fell away, you didn't cry.

Xxxxxxx

Before you knew it, another girl had replaced Aiden. Her name: Lindsay Monroe and the only thing about her that you could remember was that she was from Montana, a state that even you couldn't find on the map for the life of you.

Even though you and Don still had your little "fling" on the sidelines, you found a great attraction to this new fresh meat and you couldn't help but test the waters every time you surrounded her. You teased her with childish games, gave her small indications of flirting and even had the nerve to ask her out to lunch.

And it only took one night for her wall to come down for you.

It happened when she showed you her new apartment in Manhattan. Yeah, it needed work but you agreed to help her with boxes and to help move in. It went well, you found out a little about the past of Montana you never knew but when that one question of what she was hiding so secretly about came up, she immediately brought up the wall.

So, you promised to never bring it up again and the wall slowly came back down.

From the boxes it led to drinks, which led of course to the two of you crashing onto her bed, her body pinned underneath you. There was some kind of attraction to her that radiated and it drew you near. Unable to control yourself, your lips met and the two of you found one another fiercely.

Maybe it was because that she too had a dark secret hidden beneath that Monroe of her that drew you towards her. Two people with two secrets. It seemed like you could relate to her and share her pain and frustration.

And when the two of you were done, equally naked under the sheets, her fingers found their way to the tattoo on your back, fingers gently grazing across the broken flesh. "What happened?" she asks, her voice soft and gentle and you're tempted to tell her, explain all what happened to a girl you only knew for three weeks but just like her, you build up your wall and turn away.

"Don't ask about my secrets and I don't ask about yours."

End of story.

Xxxxxx

"Don?" You ask, the blood still dripping from your now swollen and even more aching hand. You could feel your heart twisting from beneath your skin and you slowly take a small step towards him.

He doesn't say anything as he continues to stare out the window. You wonder if maybe you should move closer to him, figure out what's wrong, but you're scared to because you're not sure what emotion Don is wearing.

And then he speaks, and his voice is low, dangerous and challenging, "I don't understand you Danny."

Your heart twists again.

"I don't and I want to." This time, Don fully turns to face you and you can see his tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes. "I try to; try to understand why I'm running back to you. Why I can't go a day without feeling your touch under mine and every time I think I'm close to that answer, I'm not. And it's frustrating because there's something there and I feel it but I'm not sure if you feel the same."

"That thing between Lindsay-"

"Was an accident." He finished, his eyes moving away from yours because just like you, he had done the same with Aiden. Except for Aiden, who you knew he felt more passion for, and there was a small twist in your heart that turned when you knew if Aiden hadn't left, Don would have still chosen her over you. "I get that Danny." He suddenly reaches his arm out for yours and his fingers wrap around your wrist, bringing your bloody fist up to his face. You watch, afraid of what he may do and he unexpectedly grabs the dish towel from the table and wraps it around your fist. "But this thing we're in is so complicated."

All you can do is nod slowly, unable to speak for the fear that you may scream at what he was saying.

"And I'll tell you the truth Danny," he looks up from your damaged fist and into your eyes and for a moment you feel as if you're falling deep into his soul, "I don't think it can work."

Xxxxxx

That night, you left and you knew you were never coming back. You left this world in one final blow to the neck, blood pouring faster then the fist in the wall. If you knew what death felt like, you would have never imagined it would be so painful and peaceful at the same time.

The officer told you, Don and Stella that the crime scene was secure and that it was safe to go. You asked, double checked because there was something that was bothering you and you weren't sure what it exactly was.

You enter the grocery store, Stella moves off to the cashier registers to check out the first body as you and Don moved towards the back where the second and third bodies are located. Small talk is shared between the two of you and your crime scene kit is held tightly in your right hand. Your left still in a cast from the wall incident.

Ever since that night and that conversation, the sexual romance that you and Don shared shattered before you. Now you found yourself sleeping alone to a cold and empty bed: found yourself waking up to a dark and dangerous apartment, the protection of the one person you thought you loved nowhere to be found.

You steal a glance at Don and you can't help but wonder maybe he thought otherwise. Maybe he believed that the two of you did in fact have a chance and just because of his guilt, he was disagreeing with it.

Maybe was the only positive explanation you could come up with.

Before you know it, you come across the two dead bodies; a woman and a male both with multiple gun shot wounds, blood pools surrounding them. You move towards them, eyes already scanning for evidence when you hear something behind you. You glance up to meet Don's eyes and you both turn to look towards the noise, your hand quickly releasing your crime scene kit which drops to the floor with a small clang.

And then it happened before you could process it. Don moves, your eyes quickly follow. There's a man, gun drawn and he begins to shoot. You immediately reach for your gun while Don is one step ahead of you, firing back. You pull your gun out of your holster and before you have enough time to click the safety off, something piercing rips through your neck and everything goes white for a second before you tumbled over your foot and fall down besides the male body, pain ripping through your body.

The shots continue to echo through your ears as you try to scream, try to yell for Don but all you can do is cough up blood. You're shaking, panicking and before you know it, the shots end and your heart sinks when you don't hear or see Don. For a second you believe that's he's been shot too but then his face appears over yours and his eyes are wide with fear, his fingers quickly pressing to your neck, applying pressure to your wound.

"D-don," you try to say but instead you cough up blood again and it splatters across Don's face and something inside him snaps as he applies even more pressure before he begins to talk to you, "Danny," he says, his eyes never leaving yours, "don't you die on me Danny. C'mon, you're strong and I know it. C'mon Danny, you can't do this to me."

The pain is unbearable and you close your eyes out of reflex but he smacks your face with his free hand and your eyes shoot open, his face close to yours. You find yourself staring into his eyes again as your blood seeps down his fingers. "Danny, listen to me." He says, his voice lowering to a whisper as his hot breath grazes over yours lips, "you can't leave me because I lied to you. I said I didn't need you, said I didn't want you but that's all I lie. I do need you. I do want you and right now I can't lose you 'cause I dunno what I'd do without you."

You can feel hot tears fall from your eyes as you try to breathe, try to find the voice within you to respond to Don's confession but you can't and that makes you cry. Here Don was, pouring his heart out for you and all you could do was bleed and cry for him.

And the tears catch Don by surprise and the pain increases as you lose more and more of your blood.

"Danny," Don cries as he wipes a tear away with his free hand, "C'mon man, ya can do this. C'mon."

You try. You really do because you want to live. You want to be with Don and feel the way the two of you used to be but you can't because every time you go to look at Don, he seems to be fading away. You blink, trying to free the tears from your eyes but you realize that it's not that but instead the sign that death is around the corner and you cry right there not caring who is watching.

Stella talks furiously into her phone while Don tries his best to keep you living. But even with all that, you slip away before she's even off the phone and when you're gone, the only part of you that you left for Don was the blood and tears covered in his hands.

FIN.