More Fine Carriages

This is a modern version of Pride and Prejudice. What does that mean? Let me fill you in...

1) There is mild swearing and lots of sarcasm (yay!) 2) The names are all different. Why? Because if you met a Will Darcy wouldn't you immediately think 'pride and prejudice'? Yeah that's what I thought. 3) This story doesn't follow the original perfectly - it's a different time and realistically some things just don't work.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Review, lurk, or perhaps a combination of both and as always, thank you!

Chapter 1: Going Home (Revised)

I grumbled as my alarm clock blared from its place on the nightstand. I turned on my side, and slapped the snooze with more violence than what was necessary. My head was pounding and I knew that I would need at least another ten minutes of dozing just to function.

Ten minutes later, I very slowly made my way out of bed and to the bathroom only to discover quite a horrible sight in the mirror. A very hung-over reflection greeted me.

I mentally kicked myself; I should not have gone out last night. It was just that simple. I had been planning on staying in and watching a bunch of mind numbing chick flicks with only a bowl of popcorn for company and turning in early. I had wanted to be refreshed for the long drive home. But my good intention went to hell. I blame Connie.

Connie Lucas was one of three of my roommates that I shared an apartment with on the trendy side of campus. We grew up together in a small town called Greenville. We weren't really friends in elementary school(I can distinctly remember her making fun of my crazy curly red hair), but in middle school it all changed (I can't remember how) and we became inseparable. It's pretty much been that way since. I eventually got over the hair dig.

But all that history meant very little to me now in my present state of irritability. When I looked back on last night and how Connie had given me the 'you don't have to drink, we'll be home early' speech, I had the urge to go barge into her room loudly and give her a sound kick to the ass. But then again I had been stupid enough to go along with it, thinking that this time, Connie was actually right. Besides that, I managed to convince myself that I had enough self control to handle it. But as soon as I had gotten ready and was actually out on the town, the self control disappeared. I was suddenly ready to get my drink on and have a good time. And Connie had done little to discourage me seeing as she had paid for most of our drinks. After a few shots and a dirty martini, Connie rationalized with me; it was just a six hour drive… it wouldn't be that bad.

Connie was right. It wasn't bad… it was terrible. My head was throbbing and my stomach felt as though it had been stretched and then flattened and then pounded on by a hammer. I rinsed my mouth out then, cursing Connie and her damn persuasiveness. That was the last time I ever listened to her.

I sadly had no time to shower so I settled instead for washing my face thoroughly. I looked like hell. Make-up would have helped a bit but I decided not to even bother with it. I figured after six hours in the car, you wouldn't be able to tell if I made any effort anyway.

I made my way back to my room, ignoring the evil urge to wake Connie up by pounding on her door. I threw my toiletries in my open red duffle sitting on the floor, and searched for some comfy clothes to thrown in. It took a whole five minutes for me to cram all my necessities in, all the while with my stomach churning. I went to my purse and popped some ibuprofen without water, threw on my fleece, grabbed my duffel, and made my way out of the apartment, wondering (not for the first time) what I was really getting myself into by going back home.

It was March 17th meaning that spring break was officially going to begin the next day. Luckily for me, I was done a day early due to some great scheduling. However, instead of being able to join Connie, Haley, and Paige on their voyage to Cancun, I was forced to go home and spend some quality time with the good old familia.

Now it's not as if I don't love my family; I do. It's just the fact that I love them from far away much better then up close. The whole group hadn't been under the same roof for quite a while. Only my youngest two sisters, Cathy and Stacey, are still living at home. Emily has been gone in North Dakota for two years, I have been in Rhode Island for close to four years, and Jenna has been in Iowa for six. How my mother thinks it's possible for all of us to peacefully coexist in the same house for one week when we haven't done so in close to six years completely escapes me. But that's hardly a new development. Fanny Bennett's way of thinking rarely matched that of mine, her second eldest daughter.

Regardless, Fanny had been adamant about reuniting the whole family.

I could still remember the phone conversation.

"Yo madre," I had answered knowing and delighting in the fact that it irritated Fanny like no other to be greeted in such a manner.

"Hello Addie," came the clipped reply. "Really, do you always answer the phone like that? It's not very ladylike… or even polite for that manner."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm assuming you called for a reason other than to critique how I answer my phone… did you get my message about Cancun? We're all leaving the 18th." Even though I wasn't expected to ask permission for doing things, I still kept my parents up to date about big things. Big things being leaving the country.

"Yes, I got your message…" Fanny had started, almost hesitantly. I knew that this couldn't be good and I pushed my cell harder to my ear in nervous anticipation.

"I'm paying for it," I clarified, automatically assuming that financial reasons were the source of my mother's hesitation. With putting three daughters through school, and with two still to come, I knew my parents didn't just have extra cash laying around at my disposal.

"Actually, Addie, your father and I don't think you should go. I mean, you went last year… and you girls all haven't been home in such a while. We think it would be best if you all spent your break here instead."

I almost forgot to breath. Go home? For my spring break? What was she on?

"Um mom that sounds great, but I already made plans."

"You haven't ordered the ticket yet, Addie. You make it sound as if it is all set in stone."

"It is. We have been planning this trip forever."

"Adeline Marie do you realize how long it has been since my whole family has been home?" I cringed knowing that she was going to lay the guilt trip on thick. I stayed silent.

"Well, I will tell you," she continued barely letting my silence endure two seconds. "Almost 2 years since all of you have been home! And that includes holidays! You are all always so busy and by some miracle, you all have the same spring break. Even Jenna has a break in her trimesters at Palmer's roughly the same time."

Normally my mother liked to exaggerate, but even as annoyed as I was I could appreciate the miraculous occurrence of our spring breaks coinciding perfectly. Such things rarely happened for three out of the five, let alone all five, especially since the youngest two were still in high school.

"So you are not going to Cancun. You are coming home."

I gave a huff. "Mom, you can't forbid me to go. I'm twenty-one with my own bank account, remember?"

"Oh fine, then. You go to Cancun with your friends while all of your sisters are at home like the great children that they are. They actually care about their parents. You go ahead and disappoint your father… you know this was just as much his idea as it was mine." She stopped to take a breath, and then tried even another tactic by saying, "Don't you want to see Jenna, Adeline? It has to have been ages since you've last seen her."

I gritted my teeth. Even though Fanny and I rarely agreed, I would give her some credit. She certainly knew how to work me; use Jenna as bait. And she certainly did have a point. It had been forever since I had seen Jenna. She was uber busy with Chiropractic school in freaking Iowa while I was in Rhode Island working on my undergrad. We still made time to talk at least every other day, but when it came down to it, phone calls and text messages were just not the same as seeing Jenna in person.

And she was right about dad. It had been a long time (last Easter) since I had seen him. And even though we corresponded often through emails and random phone calls, it, like my communication with Jenna, lacked since it wasn't face to face.

I gave in, mostly because I knew she would never get off my case if I rejected and because she was surprisingly right. It was a miracle that we could all be under the same roof at the same time again.

But it was going to be an interesting miracle. As I threw my bags in my Saturn, I knew the worst part about this little miracle was going to be dealing with Fanny herself. She still wasn't overly thrilled that I had chosen journalism to be the path of my life. And she couldn't fathom how I was still single.

My mother had an obsession with all of our love lives that was leaps and bounds past what was considered reasonable. I was fearful of the comments that she would make and what would transgress after them. I was also fearful of what matchmaking attempts she would fail miserably at while we were there and what sort of things she was sure to drag us to. I knew she basically meant no harm and only did it because she truly cared for all of us. But I also knew that I would not to be able to endure a whole week of it.

Then there was the fact that Stacey and Cathy were only seventeen and sixteen and were as immature and undisciplined as kids come. I love each of them. Honestly, I do. But again, it was definitely easier to love Cathy and Stacey over a distance of a few states when you don't have to share a bathroom with them or deal with their whining.

But such was my fate. I told myself to focus on the positives (mostly Jenna, Dad, and Emily) and deal with the negatives (Mom's schemes and Stacey's screaming) later. I buckled my seatbelt and started the engine. Little did I know that this spring break would change my life.

Now there are a few things to know about my hometown of Greenville, Delaware:

It is relatively small, with less than 2,500 inhabitants. Gossip spreads like wild fire, everyone is nosy, and there are zero stop lights. Greenville is also the wealthiest town in Delaware on a per capita basis. Meaning that there are few people, all of them are loaded, and most of them are stuck up. Although I would definitely not label my family as obscenely wealthy, we were in a neighborhood that suggested otherwise – loans really are great things.

The drive was pretty boring and uneventful which was fine by me. I pulled up precisely 6 hours later. I had only stopped for a five minute bathroom and chocolate break on the way and had made it in almost record time, not that that was overly surprising. My nickname in high school was lead foot, and it fit me very well. Surprisingly, I have never actually gotten a speeding ticket. Yes, I am that persuasive.

I turned on our semi-secluded drive, and parked behind a shiny new Nissan that I didn't recognized. It looked as though everyone else had beat me home though as I instantly recognized Jenna's Honda and Emily's black sedan. I assumed that they must have left the night before, and had probably been home for a little while. That was all fine with me though.

I jumped out of the car, thankful to finally be free as I heard the front door click open. There standing in all of her ridiculous beauty was my saintly sister, Jenna.

"Jenna!" I squealed. She smiled as we both ran to engulf the other in a huge bear hug.

"It is so good to see you!" She exclaimed as we finally pulled away. "Do you need help with your stuff?"

I shook my head. I only had my duffel. I opened the back door to retrieve it as Jenna looked on in wonderment.

"That's all you brought?" she asked, clearly amused.

"It's only a week," I replied with a smile.

She started laughing and shaking her head. "God, Addie, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Never enjoy life?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Probably," she agreed as we began our walk to the front door.

"Speaking of life," I said, readjusting the strap of the duffle bag on my shoulder, "How did your finals go?"

Jenna gave a shrug. "It's hard to tell. I'm the most worried about my PNS class. God, the professor was…" She stopped short, the anger in her voice clearly surprising herself. I was stunned. Jenna never got angry; it just wasn't in her nature. Not only did she possess the beauty of an angel, but also the temperament of one as well.

"Go on, say it, it will make you feel better."

She started laughing at this, the anger on her features dissipating quickly. "He was a jerk," she said as she opened the door.

"Jerk? That's the best you've got?"

As we walked in, the sound of Stacey's voice screaming my name as she engulfed me in a massive hug was all to be heard.

"Oh my god, Addie, I am so glad you are finally home. We can finally eat now. It took you, like, forever." I rolled my eyes as Stacey broke the hug, and studied my sixteen year old sister for a brief moment.

I think under any normal circumstances I would have been appalled at what Stacey was wearing. Clothing didn't even seem like a proper word to describe it. If she dared to move too much, part of her ass cheek would surely be hanging out of her white mini. And as if that wasn't enough, the itty-bitty pink halter that she was wearing was very low cut and displayed half her flat stomach. But this wasn't by any means a normal circumstance and didn't shock because I was too busy being shocked at something else. Somewhere between last Easter and now, Stacey's body had aged 3 years. She could have passed for nineteen or twenty easily. She had a lot of make-up on, but it was tastefully done and enhanced her face well. Her clothes were nothing short of whore, and her body filled it out much better than what mine would have. I couldn't help but wonder where on earth my baby sister had gone. As if reading my thoughts, Stacey smiled and said "Doesn't this look work for me?"

"You look like you are going to work the corner," I answered honestly. Jenna gave me the 'mother' look – you know the one that says 'was that really necessary?' – as Stacey huffed. "It's called style." Stacey then turned her gaze on my attire (Soffe shorts and an old T-shirt from high school track) and my makeup-less face. "It looks as though you could use some," she said lifting her chin in a haughty manner.

And this was only the beginning. I hadn't even been home five minutes and I had already been told that I wasn't as whorish as my sixteen year old sister thought I should be.

I laughed. "You can keep your style, Stac-pie and I will keep mine." She was a little irritated by the use of her old nickname, but she wisely chose not to complain, probably remembering from past experience that the more she complained about it, the more I was sure to use it in every conversation. Stacey scowled while I chucked my duffle on the couch.

I was just going to ask where everyone else was when they all filtered through the deck door carrying an array of food platters. My mouth began to water and I realized how hungry I really was.

There was mingled out cries of 'Addie!' and 'Welcome home!' and 'Finally!'

Emily waited until all of the shouting and hugging had subsided until greeting me herself in her own Emily-like way.

"I'm so glad you are home, it's been too long." There was a brief, awkward hug complete with two back pats. She pulled away quickly and demanded hurriedly, "Can we eat now? I'm starving."

There were murmured agreements, as all of us made our way to the dinner table. All that is except for Stacey, who was forced by dad to go upstairs and change into something that was more appropriate. I only smirked… guess she couldn't keep her style.

After Stacey joined us, dinner began. I soon began to wonder why we had even pretended and called it dinner… it was more like a round of twenty questions.

Fanny was the worst. "Addie, are you seeing anyone?"

"No, mom." I answered as I forked a massive chunk of lasagna into my mouth. Stacey looked disgusted while Emily snickered.

"And Jenna?"

"No, mom, I'm just trying really hard to focus on school."

My mother seemed horrified by this but my dad came to Jenna's rescue. "Good for you two, being independent. Your younger sisters would do well to look up to your example." He gave a stern look in Stacey and Cathy's direction. Cathy blushed while Stacey pretended not to notice. Instead she voiced other concerns, "I wonder how many calories are in lasagna? I'm trying really hard to lose five pounds."

Everyone remained silent, while I considered smacking her over the head. Too bad she was out of my reach.

"Hey Stac-pie, pass the green beans, will you?" I asked. Stacey gave me a death glare as she passed the pan. Dad smiled at me and I winked back.

"Emily, what about you? Anyone special?" My mother continued to press.

Emily just raised an eyebrow at my mother, giving her a look that clearly said she thought she was ridiculous and then returned to her food.

It was all that Fanny could take. "Well really! You girls think you all have all the time in the world."

Dad and I again shared a smile. If only I got a nickel for every time she said that. "Mom, we kind of do," I replied, as I stabbed my green beans with my fork.

"Well you might… but your father and I certainly don't. And we want grandchildren that we can actually live to see. At the rate you are going, we'll both be cold in our graves before one of you even goes down the aisle."

"You don't need us to be married in order to get grandchild," Emily said reasonably.

Fanny looked like she was going to fall out of her chair. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, and Jenna kicked me underneath the table.

"That is true Emily," dad nodded, his tone even, but his eyes were twinkling. He was clearly amused.

"True, but not what I expect from any of you five," Fanny said still looking scandalized. "I don't care what all those celebrities are doing … all those children out of wedlock – it's not proper."

"Oh so you want proper grandchildren," I said in feigned understanding.

"That's enough. You all know exactly what I mean. I don't want to be mother of the Greenville version of Angelina Jolie," Fanny said her voice as stern as she could make it.

"I wish I were Angelina Jolie," Stacey said with a longing tone.

"She kissed her brother," Emily replied.

"What?" Cathy demanded, repulsed.

"Yeah, on the red carpet. She locked lips with her brother."

"Why?" Stacey spat, looking at Emily as though she had given her the worst news of her life.

"I'll ask her later," Emily replied sarcastically.

"Whatever, Brad Pitt is her lover," Stacey recovered quickly.

"Eh, Pitt is way past his prime. I'd much rather have…" but before I could say who I would rather have, my mother cut me off.

"Addie, are you still in the journalism phase?"

I almost laughed. "Well, I'm majoring in it if that's what you mean by phase. I think junior year would be a pretty shitty time to change my mind about it."

Fanny was too upset by my answer to even scold me about profanity. "Jenna, dear, do you remember Bill Collins? He just moved back here and bought a house by Melbourne Point."

"Yes, I remember him."

I think we all did. How could anyone ever forget Jenna's high school stalker? Bill Collins had been the football quarterback and therefore had thought that he was God. He was decent looking, but his neck was weird and his eyes were a little buggish. But that didn't really matter. Bill could have been hot, and I still wouldn't have touched him with a ten foot pole. Yes, he was that bad. He was an idiot, barely securing even a 'C' average and was as dull as they came. Somewhere between freshmen and sophomore year he became obsessed with Jenna. He had sent her flowers, poems, and anything even remotely cheesy throughout their high school career. He would call constantly, pleading with her for dates. Jenna had always tried to turn him down nicely, but he never really got the hint. That was until Jenna left for school and he had to move on with his own life.

"He always gave me the creeps," Cathy added. My mother gave her a glare.

"I thought he was a nice boy. He was certainly fond of Jenna," Fanny defended.

"He was a stalker," Emily said, her tone dry, as she looked already bored with this conversation.

"Oh certainly not, Emily. He was so nice," Fanny continued.

"He was the quarterback too wasn't he?" Stacey asked interestedly, clearly believing Fanny's version of just how lovely Bill was.

"Which means nothing," I added.

"Well, he's definitely coming tomorrow for our little party, so I want everyone to be polite. He is such a dear." Fanny smiled sweetly as dad audibly groaned.

"Party? What party?" I demanded. I hadn't heard anything about any party.

"Oh, of course, Addie I forgot to tell you." Sure. She just knew I would have found some way out of it. I was surprised that Jenna hadn't mentioned it. She knew how anti-mother's parties I was. Dad hadn't said anything either, but he had probably just wanted to pretend that it wasn't going to happen.

"We are hosting a little neighborhood get together since all you girls are home. It really does happen so rarely and we wanted to celebrate it with everyone. The Lucases are coming, the Williams, Crofts, Kings, Clearwaters, oh and of course the new man, Craig Benson, who moved in last week."

My interest was piqued by the last name, the only one I hadn't heard before.

"New guy, huh?"

"Oh, yes," Fanny looked delighted that I had mentioned him. "He seems rather nice, is quite good looking… but he has this twit of a blonde who is always by his side. I'm sure they must be engaged. What single man buys a house in this neighborhood?" Fanny finished with a disappointed expression claiming her face. I understood perfectly. She was only mad that the blonde had snatched him before one of her daughters had even had the chance.

"So, what time is this party?" I asked as innocently as I could. There was still a bleak glimmer of hope that I could get out of it.

"Don't even think about it Adeline. You are going to that party. Why you are always so difficult about these things, I will never know. You are worse than your father."

With that dad and I caught each other's eyes and smiled and gave a toast to each other with our glasses of milk while mom just rolled her eyes.