Disclaimer: Digimon, Garfield, Star Wars, Yu-Gi-Oh, King Arthur, A Knight's
Tale, Charlie's Angels & Bananas in Pajamas/Pyjamas (Do not question the
insane mind) do not belong to me.
Well people first I want to say Merry Christmas and a Happy Chinese New Year (belated)! :D I finished it specially for I-don't-know-what, which led to a lot of illegal computer smuggling, so I sincerely hope you enjoy this bout of plotless humour. Well, there is a little plot in it. Enjoy...
(Note: Minor CCs-bashing!)
When Kouji Gave a Sleepover
Kouji looked anxiously around the room again and tidied a cushion for the thousandth time. It was his Christmas sleepover, and he wanted everything to be perfect. He glanced at the clock. Eleven fifty-nine and fifty-eight seconds... eleven fifty-nine and fifty-nine seconds... twelve noon! Kouji grinned. His clock had been specially formatted to resemble the Hewlett- Packard most accurate clock in the world thing in the USA, or something. Twelve noon... and one second. Kouji scowled. His first Christmas sleepover must be perfect! Perfect! PERFECT!! He flung open the door in rage... only to meet the very surprised faces of Kanbara Takuya and Kanbara Shinya. Kouji gave Takuya a withering look.
(TRANSLATION: Why Shinya?!?!?!)
Takuya's expression visibly became pain-stricken as he showed Kouji his broken arm.
(TRANSLATION: He made me.)
Then, suddenly, interrupting their pleasant conversation, DING-DONG! Kouichi arrived. Kouji smiled at his brother and they both experienced a brotherly twinly link... until Shinya shot a BB-gun bullet into Kouji, screaming "Paintball! Paintball!" rather crazily/insanely.
Kouji growled. His first Christmas sleepover had to be perfect! Perfect! PERFECTO!!!!! He sent a glare towards Shinya. "You want Paintball? I'll give you Paintball."
(a/n: That DID not sound right)
He stalked off towards the kitchen and got some red paint. Then he took his water gun and filled it with paint. (He didn't have a proper Paintball gun, see.) Then he stalked back into the room holding the gun, ignoring the fact that there had to be round things called "balls" to contain the paint in. (NO I am not a pervert. XD) Then he shot Shinya! And the gun kind of lost control and Kouji ended up shooting everybody in the whole street. Including Takuya, Shinya, Kouichi, his stepmother (thankfully for his father, he was at work), their old neighbour next door and her barking dog, and the sunny girl next door who was a demon behind wheels. (Yes, Natalie from Charlie's Angels)
The sunny girl next door who was a demon behind wheels suddenly saw the red paint on her new dress, causing a chain reaction.
"AHH! I'M BLEEDING!" she shrieked, falling down on the floor and twitching. The old neighbour next door's dog suddenly appeared next to her (Hey, miracles can happen in the real world) and started sniffing the "blood". He started licking it and the old neighbour next door screamed "NO! PEDRO! THAT'S POISONOUS!" She started shuffling across the street to the sunny girl who was a demon behind wheels's house, causing Kouji's father to suddenly brake his speeding car back home in time for the party. Causing him to fall out of the car, into the drain and to be inspected by alley cats. Who knew a little paint could do all that?
Kouji sighed. His first Christmas sleepover had to be perfect, and it wasn't. He sulked in a corner and put his head between his hands. Well, at least until 5 minutes later, when Izumi arrived. "Koujiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! 'Tis the season to be jolly~" she screamed in primal joy, hugging him to bits. "Oof-must-get-oxygen-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Kouji managed as he succumbed to the mighty force of Izumi. Just then, the big fat waddling force of Junpei arrived, carrying the Biggest Christmas Cracker Ever Known to Mankind. Just then, he saw Izumi over Kouji, and thought what people usually think. You know what I'm talking about.
"Izumiiiiiiii I'll save you from this evil bleeper!!!!!!!!" He screamed as he ran towards the pile of Kouzumi, and jumped on it, with the aim to squash the brains out of Kouji, but instead squashed Izumi, making a very bad reaction indeed. Izumi got up with superhuman strength, the kind that mothers get when their children are in danger, and Junpei rolled off her... onto Kouji. She noticed that a big large biomass was squashing her boyfriend to death, and promptly attacked him with a series of punches, the ones you see in Charlie's Angels. And Takuya, Shinya, and Tomoki (who had just arrived at the scene) just eyed the scene open-mouthed with sweatdrops on the back of their head, thinking "Evil bleeper?! O_o;;;"
Then Kouichi arrived on the scene, waving a beater he'd nicked from the kitchen around screaming crazily "My evil streak has aroused! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
Takuya fell over.
Suddenly, their Digivices bleeped! It was the newly reincarnated Ophanimon, who had trouble moving her body around, since she had so much armour on. Anyway, she said "Chosen Children... let's go to the Digital World!" laughing crazily like a maniac. And they were transported there, much to the relief of Kouji's stepmother and mother. "Phew!" they said as the CCs dissolved into white light. "Stupid #@^#$*#^$*#^%~& oven!" Fortunately, they spotted Junpei's cracker.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, M1?" Kouji's stepmother asked.
"Sure am, M2." Kouji's mother replied.
They delved onto the cracker, and pulled. BABOOOM! Immediately the cracker exploded, leaving a ready-made roasted turkey, Christmas pudding, and all the stuff you would find in a traditional Chinese, American, British and Japanese Christmas meal. The mothers sweatdropped. Who knew Junpei could eat that much?
"Well, at least the cooking problem's solved." Kouji's stepmother said, delving onto a chair.
Let's get back to the CCs. They fell into a pit. Not a dark, deep one as you may have imagined, but a bright, Christmassy one. Now, Ophanimon was standing on one side of the pit, conducting a Digimon choir, who was singing Christmas carols.
"God rest you merry Digimon May nothing you dismay Remember that the CCs here Saved us on Christmas Day!
We were in dire trouble then We won't deny it here But the CCs sent Lucemon to fen Come on now, festive cheer!"
"FEN?! WHO'S IN FEN! I'M HERE!" Lucemon roared, towering over them.
(a/n: I believe that the spare bits of data finally found each other and formed the good Lucemon. Do not question my theories!)
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."
The CCs, however, had no inkling of what was going on, except that Lucemon was there, so the CCs immediately raised their Digivices and yelled, "Oh crap! They're mobile phones!"
Then Lucemon saw them, and ambled over. "You're the ones who made me good, right?" he asked casually, leaning against a wall that had magically appeared out of nowhere.
"Ehh... did we, Kouji? Did we turn Lucemon good? Huh? Did we, Kouji?" Takuya mumbled nervously.
"Uh, no idea, Takuya. Hey, Izumi! Did we turn Lucemon good? I mean, good good, not the bad good, but good good? You *do* know what the difference between good good and bad good is, right? Do you, 'Zumi?" Kouji's hands were sweating.
"How'm I supposed to know the difference between good good and bad good? What about good bad and bad bad then? And did we turn Lucemon good, Junpei? And which good was it, Kouji? Good good or bad good?" Izumi rambled.
"It was good good, uh, I meant bad good, no, it's ba- IT'S GOOD GOOD, FOR DRAGONS-STAR'S SAKE!" Kouji screamed, causing quite an explosion.
"Dragons-star's sake?" the others asked quizzically, momentarily forgetting about the Lucemon problem.
"The author made me .;;" he muttered a reply.
"Well?" Lucemon asked.
The CCs cast furtive looks at Junpei.
"Uh... uh... uh... I dunno, my dear Izumi! Gee, we need a child's comment, cos' they observe better, see? Hey Tomoki, did we turn Lucemon good?" Junpei wiped his brow.
"I dunno, Junpei-san. Do you know, Kouichi-kun?" Tomoki enquired professionally, as if he'd shifted questions from big nasty powerful bad guys all his life. Which he probably had.
Kouichi casually replied. "I dunno. I was unconscious, remember? C'mon, Kouji and Takuya, you should know. You fought him! Come on! You should decide! We have no idea how he looks like! In details, I mean! Me least of all!"
Takuya and Kouji glared at Kouichi.
Kouichi stared at both of them, swivelling the right eyeball towards Kouji and the left towards Takuya.
[ten minutes later]
Still staring.
[ten minutes later]
Still staring.
[ten minutes later]
Still star-
"YOU BLINKED!" Kouichi screamed towards Takuya, which caused Kouji to blink.
"GWAHAHAHA! I WIN!" Kouichi screamed, beating his chest with his fists and blinking.
"YOU BLINKED!" Takuya and Kouji screamed.
Lucemon's eye twitched and he thought 'They *are* useless. They can't even answer a stupid question.' Woo, looks like old Lucy hasn't changed his ways! He coughed, causing Takuya and Kouji, and Kouichi, plus the other CCs to realise he was still there and continue asking each other.
"C'mon Kouji, he hit your side of Susanoomon first! You should know if his power was declining!"
"How'm I supposed to know if his $#@&%$@#!^%#@~*$@ power declined? Mess up with his insides?"
The CCs stared at Kouji, shocked.
"-_- Not that way you perverts."
"FORGET IT!" Lucemon roared, throwing his hands up in the air and stalking off with a disgusted air.
Anyway, Seraphimon was standing rather awkwardly in one corner, hiding one side of his body. And Cherubimon was ambling about giving young Digimons food and drinks, and he looked rather comical in a pink party hat.
"Stupid @#%!!$#&^!%$# author!" Cherubimon screamed, covering the ears of the young 'uns. "It's supposed to MATCH MY COAT, GEDDIT?! MATCH MY COAT!!!!!!!!!!" He uncovered the ears of the young 'uns, who had, unsurprisingly, heard everything and were asking with a questioning look "@#%!!$#&^!%$#?"
The CCs sweatdropped.
"The day just keeps getting better and better," Kouichi muttered.
"'Tis the season to be jolly, Kouji!" Gotsumon appeared and twirled his favourite CC around. "Heya, Kouji! Do you have any more evolutions to give me? And may the pink camels bless you!"
"Uh... no evos. Sorry."
"But it's CHRISTMAS DAY! The time for giving! The time for worshipping pink camels! The time for streaming blue streamers all over Seraphimon!"
Takuya stared at Gotsumon.
"So THAT'S why Seraphimon was hiding in a corner!"
"Seraphimon, you can come out now!" Izumi trilled hysterically.
" . . . Uh... what's so funny guys?" Junpei wondered aloud.
[The writer has had writer's block. The writer will die soon. The writer screams for hel-bzzzzzt.]
Telly walked by and screamed "Damn! My new 62500-Bot I ordered from Koushirou's not working! I'll get you Izumi! (That's a surname. Izzy for you dubbers.)"
[7 days pass and it becomes New Year]
It was a bright, sunny day. The beauty of the day was unrivalled and unbroken... at least until someone was poked by somebody else and screamed the 4-letter f-word!
"FISH YOU, TAKUYA!!"
The day had begun.
Everybody was prancing around celebrating New Year! They were all wearing red qipaos! No matter when they were male or female! Isn't that fun?
Kouji in a red qipao said "No," rather flatly.
Telly glared at Kouji, "You weren't supposed to say that."
Kouji started to say, "I don't care," until Izumi, wearing a pink qipao, whirled him around and sang out, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"
Kouji reluctantly gave the answer.
"SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-PANTS!"
"Who twirls round and round and goes all peewee?" (a/n: From the first question, this is all made up)
"SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-PANTS!"
"Yellow and spongy and porous is he!" (I finally caught on a bit ^^;)
"SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
[Character bashing (yes every single one) begins now]
[Junpei-bashing]
For Junpei had landed on Kouji in a very enlightening fashion (in other words-he squashed Kouji flat) for "flirting with his darling Izumi", his purple qipao twirling around in a very elaborate fashion. But the author didn't like that, so a SPLUT (© Jim Davis) immediately found its way to Junpei's face. Along with a grand piano, a 60-kg pan of lasagna, and a meadow full of flowers with Garfield on.
Garfield reached over and hugged Junpei. 'Yes!' he thought 'Finally there's a Monday in which I don't get SPLUTted! Then Garfield reached over Junpei's nose and grabbed the lasagna. He wolfed it down in seconds ('ONLY 60 KG?!"), then he disappeared.
Kouji, Izumi, the other CCs, and the Three Great Angels watched the scene with amusement. The same thought was on everybody's minds.
'O_O;;; I need to stop reading Telly's fanfics.'
And any-wayyyy... Lucemon.. appppppeared. Heee scaared thuuhh paaants offff thuuuuhh CeeeCeeeees-
"SHUDDUP WITH THAT SLOW TALK AND GET ON WITH IT!" Izumi shrieked, swatting the author with her fan.
Sorry. I stayed up until 3:00 last night to watch Star Wars.
"O.o;;; Dun ya Chaneese do sumting too celebraat Nuu Yer??" Kouichi asked wonderingly with a sudden accent from nowhere.
Course we do! Except it's on the Chinese calendar, and according to the above said, it's still 2003.
"Your calendar is weird -_-"
Don't diss our calendar. For one, we have far more holidays than you because of our countrymen's patriotism.
"What does -that- have to do with more holidays?"
'Cause they were respectable people and we have a holiday in memory of 'em.
"So YOU'RE saying our country doesn't have respectable people?!" Kouji demanded. Without waiting for an answer, he whipped out an icon that has meant much to Japanese people over the years.
"Well then look at QOO*!"
Takuya gasped.
"Kouji, you have a Qoo plushie?! They're supposed to be really rare! Oh my god! This one's holo too!"
(a/n: I have never heard of a holo plushie, but still)
Takuya glomped the Qoo plushie.
Izumi face-faulted.
"Kouji..."
"Yes dear 'Zumi?"
"Drag him to the loony bin."
"Yes, dear 'Zumi!"
"Noooooooo 'Zumi forgive meeeee!" Takuya screamed as he was dragged kicking by Kouji, who was wearing a -__- look on his face.
(If you are a Takufangirl stop reading NOW. Minor Taku-bashing. If you are a Koujifangirl or a Kouichifangirl you are advised not to read. Even more minor Kou-bashings. In fact, you shouldn't read this at all.)
[Kouji, Takuya and Kouichi bashing]
Suddenly fangirls appeared from all around the country, screaming "Don't hurt my Taku!"
They kicked Kouji in the willy and dragged Takuya away from him. Then they started glomping him.
And then fangirls appeared from all around the country, screaming "Don't hurt my Kouji!"
They kicked Takuya in the willy and scratched the Takufangirls.
The Takufangirls kicked Kouji in the willy and scratched the Koujifangirls.
This continued for a thousand rounds.
The suddenly one of the Takufangirls accidentally stepped on Kouichi's face.
This caused fangirls from all around the country to appear, screaming "Don't hurt my Kouichi!"
Then the Kouichifangirls kicked Takuya in the willy and scratched the Takufangirls.
Then the Takufangirls, due to the unexplainable fact that there are more Takufangirls that Koujifangirls and Kouichifangirls put together, split into two groups each fighting the Koujifangirls and Kouichifangirls, kicking the boys in the willy many times.
Tomoki, Izumi, the Three Great Angels and Junpei just watched the scene with wide eyes.
"O_O Catfight."
Lucemon was forgotten amidst all the chaos.
*rubs hands evilly* Two more left to bash! Once you're all bashed, you will return to the human world! *adds menacingly* The next one bashed has a hard time! Now... which one?
"The midget," said Izumi. "The girl," said Tomoki. "The whinger," said Izumi. "The bossyboots," said Tomoki. "The youngest first," said Izumi. "No, the oldest," said Tomoki. "Tommy should," said Izumi. "Zoe should," said Tomoki. "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!"
SHUTTUP!!!!!!!!!
Everybody turned to look at Telly.
Look, one of you is going to get bashed. I say we decide who by playing Truth or Dare, a classic.
"O_O NUUUUUUUUU!" the CCs screamed.
Kouji whimpered.
"Do we have to play toooo?"
Kouichi patted his back.
"Yes, Nii-chan."
Telly looked at the scene.
ISN'T THAT JUST SO KAWAII? *captures it on the camera*
"Anyway, let's begin," said Vaness, Telly's yami side. (No more clones!)
The CCs sat in a circle.
"Ok, here are the rules," said Vaness. "Whoever doesn't answer a question has to get bashed. Same for the dares."
The CCs sighed.
"Kouji first ^_^"
"Izumi... Since you probably won't do that in a million years, and you have no choice now, will you... I mean, I dare you to kiss me?" he said shyly.
Izumi blinked.
Tomoki grinned smugly.
"OF COURSE KOUJI! I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU! HOW ON EARTH -DID- YOU KNOW?"
Izumi then proceeded to kiss him. The background immediately transformed to pink, floaty hearts. Kouji lay dreamily on the floor as he and Izumi locked lips.
AWW KAWAII! ^_^ Although I suck at writing fluff this is the best I've ever done.
Junpei covered Tomoki's eyes.
Then Izumi sprang up.
Tomoki did NOT like the look in those eyes.
"Tommy, I dare you to get bashed, right now."
Well, it looks like there's no choice. Let the Tomoki-bashing begin!
[Although personally I don't think there are any Tomokifangirls, but just to be safe, Tomoki-bashing ahead]
[Tomoki is transported to a dueling arena, the Yu-Gi-Oh kind.]
And he faces... MOKUBA?!
What the hell are you doing here? I arranged for Seto!
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NIICHAN COULDN'T COME TODAY SO HE ASKED ME TO COME INSTEAD OF HIM HE SAID I NEEDED TO REFINE MY DUELING SKILLS ANYWAY I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
Make that a sugar-high Mokuba. -_-
Tomoki: 2000 Mokuba: 2000
"What the hell? I don't even have a deck!" Tomoki said.
Use mine. Although it's in Japanese and it sucks. So I can't translate for you.
[Brief as-much-action-as-a-humour-writer-can-produce-action mode]
Mokuba summoned a monster in defense mode, the Pink Eyes Green Magician. It had an attack of 500 and a defense of 2100.
Tomoki summoned a four-star Zombie Knightmajigger, which had an attack of 2100 and a defense of 500, in attack mode.
"WAHAHAHA Zombie! Attack that wimpish excuse for a Magician!"
You see, the only magicians Tomoki had seen were the conjuring flowers from doves type.
The Magician was obliterated. But Mokuba grinned.
"YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD! THE SWORD IMPRISONING MAJIGGER! IT IMPRISONS YOUR ZOMBIE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN YOU!"
"AWW MAN!"
Then Mokuba summoned his Timeless Warlock. It had an attack of 800 and a defense of 600.
"TURN THE CLOCK, TIMELESS WARLOCK! DON'T FAIL ME NOW! I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN YOU, TELLY!"
Help us all -_-
The hand rested on the tower.
The Zombie Knightmajigger exploded.
Tomoki: 1800 Mokuba: 2000
(I'm just making up the numbers, since I suck at Math -_-)
It was Tomoki's turn.
"I summon the Three-headed Beastajigger! And then I equip the Bad Ring to it, increasing its attack by 700 and its defense by 500! But if this beast is destroyed, I lose 500 Life Points!"
"Attack, Three-headed Beastajigger!"
There went the Timeless Warlock.
Mokuba summoned the Pepsi Man. It had an attack of 100 and a defense of 100.
"I end my turn."
"LOSER!" Tomoki yelped. "Attack, Beastajigger!"
"Not so fast, I activate my monster's special ability, Pepsi Bribing! Your monster will now be inactive for three turns! This ability also renders Magic cards useless! I now summon The Red Lotused Girl Guard! It has an attack of 1500 and a defense of 1200! Destroy his Beastajigger!"
There went the Beastajigger.
Tomoki: 1100 Mokuba: 2000
Tomoki sighed.
He summoned the Purple Electricajigger thing. It had an attack of 850 and a defense of 800.
It was destroyed.
Tomoki: 600 Mokuba: 2000
Tomoki's eyes went up. He had drawn a good card.
"I summon the Hawk Warrior! It has an attack of 1000 and a defense of 700! Next, I equip it with the Big Bang's Evil Side! This increases its attack and defense by a thousand!"
The Girl Guard disappeared.
Tomoki: 600 Mokuba: 1200
Mokuba summoned the Verbal Warrior. It had an attack of 200 and a defense of 300.
"Monsters with attack over 800 cannot attack this thing! It also deactivates all Magic and Trap cards!"
Tomoki did some quick math.
"Damn! I still have too much attack!"
"I sacrifice my Hawk Warrior for my Amazon Girl! It has an attack of 1950 and a defense of 1850! Then I summon the UFO Turtle! It has an attack of 1400 and a defense of 1200! You suck! Die!"
Mokuba drew a card and summoned the Holy Elf. It had an attack of 1850 and a defense of 1900.
UFO Turtle died.
Tomoki: 400 Mokuba: 1200
Tomoki summoned the Female Assasin of Fire. It had an attack of 1500 and a defense of 1000. His Amazon Woman destroyed Mokuba's Holy Elf.
Tomoki: 400 Mokuba: 1100
Mokuba summoned a One-horned Blue Monster. He then activated a Magic card, which increased the attack of land monsters by 500 and their defense by 400.
The Assasinness waved goodbye.
Tomoki: 0000 Mokuba: 1100
So did Tomoki.
As he and Telly were sucked through the portal, Vaness waved to Mokuba.
"Bye, Mokuba! We had a fun time! And tell your brother that he is Sexy! A True Bishie!"
"Okay! I'll remember that! ^_^ My brother Seto Kaiba is a true bishieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-!"
[We go back to the Digital World]
"-AND I HAVE NOT DYED MY HAIR, FOR ONE LAST TIME, YOU ICHIBAN BAKA INU! (It means very stupid dog in Japanese ^_^)" Izumi screeched. Then she turned. "Oh. You're back." Then the meaning of that hit her.
"SHIT!"
Izumi was sucked through a portal.
And she appeared in...
That will be continued in the next chapter.
*watches audiences gasp in horror and throw jam sandwiches at her*
Chill, chill! Okay! I'll finish the damn story! Just don't throw jam sandwiches! I'm allergic to jam! Aaaa-chooo!
And Izumi landed in...
In...
In...
"IN?!" the exasperated CCs ask, frustrated.
In Shikoku! ^_^ Along with the other CCs+ Because, as you see, Ophanimon had discovered it was about dinner time for them all and so sent them back! ^_^
"NO FAIR!" the CCs except Izumi yelled.
Don't worry, she'll get bashed here. Lemme just think.
As they entered the Real World, they heard words spoken.
"Hikari... Hikari... you are as beautiful as the sun. My heart aches for the feeling of your bosom-"
"Not bosom, Takeru, dammit! It's profanity to speak it in PG fics! Aim for somewhere higher than that!"
"Uh... My heart aches for the feeling of your throat?"
"No, dammit! Higher!"
"Uh... My heart aches for the feeling of your chin?"
"No! Why did I get stuck with a complete romance dud? -_- It's her FACE, god dammit! Her Eff-Ay-See-Ee!"
Then the CCs landed back in Shikoku.
"O_O Weird..." the CCs said.
(I am a great fan of Takari, and I couldn't resist replaying the A Knight's Tale scene again in this fic. =P)
No time had passed at all (Ophanimon's clock must've been screwed) and the mums were still sleeping in the couches, Junpei's Christmas cracker meal on the table.
Tachia KANA yuusha wa Boku no kana ni iru Sobia TATSU Taaget Blablablablablablabla Ikanai!
The CCs facefaulted at this random outburst of Digimon 02's Japanese Opening.
[ring, ring]
*rushes to office* Hello?
"HI!"
"Yes?"
"I FORBID YOU TO BASH IZUMI! I AM AN IZUMI FANBOY!"
"O_O And if I do?"
"YOU DIE BY MY SWORD!"
"King Arthur freak O_o;;"
"KING ARTHUR RULEZ! OH YEAH BABY! KING ARTHUR ROCKZ YR SOCKZ! OH YEAH, UH HUH, OH YEAH, UH HUH!"
*starts backing away from receiver very quickly*
"-oh yeah, uh huh, oh yeah, uh huh, king arthur rules, oh yeah baby, king arthur rocks yr sockz, oh yeah, uh huh..."
*screams and runs away screaming madly*
*crashes into Jounouchi-chan*
Ouch, eep, so sorry... *sniffle*
*looks up*
*can't believe what she's seeing*
*mouth drops open*
JOUNOUCHI-CHAN!!!!!!!
*hugs him to bits*
Jounouchi: Eeeeeep.
(He's the Joey guy in Yu-Gi-Oh!)
[Mai enters]
She stares, flabbergasted.
"You-you-you boyfriend stealer!"
She grabs a pan and advances.
"Hold on!" Telly screamed. "I don't support JounouchiMai, so there!"
[Mai screams and disappears]
[Telly gets transported back to the Real World, in her office, where she's on the floor, hugging her life-size Jounouchi plush to bits]
*shakes head* Ugg?
*notices CCs staring at her strangely*
AHH! You didn't see anything of the sort! We were just-I mean, I was just holding onto him for support because my imaginary cheesecake tripped me!
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
Anyway, so the story ends-*notices jam sandwiches* Actually NOT YET!
Telly informed the CCs rather solemnly as she recovered from the trauma of being seen hugging a ploosh toy. "Izumi's not getting bashed because I dun wanna risk my life _."
"NUU FAIR!" was the general reaction.
"TOO BAD!" screamed Tomoki.
"YOU DIE ANYWAY!" screamed Kouichi.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" screamed Takuya.
"Sorry, Izumi," whimpered Kouji.
I guess it wasn't so general after all.
The boys immediately launched themselves onto...
Not Izumi, you perverts!
Pillows!
They immediately threw the pillows towards Izumi!
Bwahahahahahahahaha!
And since my hands are cold, I'll stop the bashing now!
So they all went to bed.
"NO, we didn't!" the CCs yelled. "What about our dinner?"
Oh... right.
So they all had dinner, and went to bed.
Thus is the corny ending for a corny story, and thusly, the story ends.
And as they went to bed, Junpei was seen waddling around asking "Hey, where's my Christmas cracker?"
The mothers just grinned quietly.
~*~
*Qoo is a drink brand. I think it's from Japan. Qoo looks like a little blue humanthinger with a horn. Sorta like a Chibimon with legs. And it goes all "Qooooooooo!" in this annoying way in the TV commercials. Anyway, it makes fruit water with vitamins. The White Grape flavour's the only good one, if you ask me.
Well people first I want to say Merry Christmas and a Happy Chinese New Year (belated)! :D I finished it specially for I-don't-know-what, which led to a lot of illegal computer smuggling, so I sincerely hope you enjoy this bout of plotless humour. Well, there is a little plot in it. Enjoy...
(Note: Minor CCs-bashing!)
When Kouji Gave a Sleepover
Kouji looked anxiously around the room again and tidied a cushion for the thousandth time. It was his Christmas sleepover, and he wanted everything to be perfect. He glanced at the clock. Eleven fifty-nine and fifty-eight seconds... eleven fifty-nine and fifty-nine seconds... twelve noon! Kouji grinned. His clock had been specially formatted to resemble the Hewlett- Packard most accurate clock in the world thing in the USA, or something. Twelve noon... and one second. Kouji scowled. His first Christmas sleepover must be perfect! Perfect! PERFECT!! He flung open the door in rage... only to meet the very surprised faces of Kanbara Takuya and Kanbara Shinya. Kouji gave Takuya a withering look.
(TRANSLATION: Why Shinya?!?!?!)
Takuya's expression visibly became pain-stricken as he showed Kouji his broken arm.
(TRANSLATION: He made me.)
Then, suddenly, interrupting their pleasant conversation, DING-DONG! Kouichi arrived. Kouji smiled at his brother and they both experienced a brotherly twinly link... until Shinya shot a BB-gun bullet into Kouji, screaming "Paintball! Paintball!" rather crazily/insanely.
Kouji growled. His first Christmas sleepover had to be perfect! Perfect! PERFECTO!!!!! He sent a glare towards Shinya. "You want Paintball? I'll give you Paintball."
(a/n: That DID not sound right)
He stalked off towards the kitchen and got some red paint. Then he took his water gun and filled it with paint. (He didn't have a proper Paintball gun, see.) Then he stalked back into the room holding the gun, ignoring the fact that there had to be round things called "balls" to contain the paint in. (NO I am not a pervert. XD) Then he shot Shinya! And the gun kind of lost control and Kouji ended up shooting everybody in the whole street. Including Takuya, Shinya, Kouichi, his stepmother (thankfully for his father, he was at work), their old neighbour next door and her barking dog, and the sunny girl next door who was a demon behind wheels. (Yes, Natalie from Charlie's Angels)
The sunny girl next door who was a demon behind wheels suddenly saw the red paint on her new dress, causing a chain reaction.
"AHH! I'M BLEEDING!" she shrieked, falling down on the floor and twitching. The old neighbour next door's dog suddenly appeared next to her (Hey, miracles can happen in the real world) and started sniffing the "blood". He started licking it and the old neighbour next door screamed "NO! PEDRO! THAT'S POISONOUS!" She started shuffling across the street to the sunny girl who was a demon behind wheels's house, causing Kouji's father to suddenly brake his speeding car back home in time for the party. Causing him to fall out of the car, into the drain and to be inspected by alley cats. Who knew a little paint could do all that?
Kouji sighed. His first Christmas sleepover had to be perfect, and it wasn't. He sulked in a corner and put his head between his hands. Well, at least until 5 minutes later, when Izumi arrived. "Koujiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! 'Tis the season to be jolly~" she screamed in primal joy, hugging him to bits. "Oof-must-get-oxygen-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Kouji managed as he succumbed to the mighty force of Izumi. Just then, the big fat waddling force of Junpei arrived, carrying the Biggest Christmas Cracker Ever Known to Mankind. Just then, he saw Izumi over Kouji, and thought what people usually think. You know what I'm talking about.
"Izumiiiiiiii I'll save you from this evil bleeper!!!!!!!!" He screamed as he ran towards the pile of Kouzumi, and jumped on it, with the aim to squash the brains out of Kouji, but instead squashed Izumi, making a very bad reaction indeed. Izumi got up with superhuman strength, the kind that mothers get when their children are in danger, and Junpei rolled off her... onto Kouji. She noticed that a big large biomass was squashing her boyfriend to death, and promptly attacked him with a series of punches, the ones you see in Charlie's Angels. And Takuya, Shinya, and Tomoki (who had just arrived at the scene) just eyed the scene open-mouthed with sweatdrops on the back of their head, thinking "Evil bleeper?! O_o;;;"
Then Kouichi arrived on the scene, waving a beater he'd nicked from the kitchen around screaming crazily "My evil streak has aroused! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
Takuya fell over.
Suddenly, their Digivices bleeped! It was the newly reincarnated Ophanimon, who had trouble moving her body around, since she had so much armour on. Anyway, she said "Chosen Children... let's go to the Digital World!" laughing crazily like a maniac. And they were transported there, much to the relief of Kouji's stepmother and mother. "Phew!" they said as the CCs dissolved into white light. "Stupid #@^#$*#^$*#^%~& oven!" Fortunately, they spotted Junpei's cracker.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, M1?" Kouji's stepmother asked.
"Sure am, M2." Kouji's mother replied.
They delved onto the cracker, and pulled. BABOOOM! Immediately the cracker exploded, leaving a ready-made roasted turkey, Christmas pudding, and all the stuff you would find in a traditional Chinese, American, British and Japanese Christmas meal. The mothers sweatdropped. Who knew Junpei could eat that much?
"Well, at least the cooking problem's solved." Kouji's stepmother said, delving onto a chair.
Let's get back to the CCs. They fell into a pit. Not a dark, deep one as you may have imagined, but a bright, Christmassy one. Now, Ophanimon was standing on one side of the pit, conducting a Digimon choir, who was singing Christmas carols.
"God rest you merry Digimon May nothing you dismay Remember that the CCs here Saved us on Christmas Day!
We were in dire trouble then We won't deny it here But the CCs sent Lucemon to fen Come on now, festive cheer!"
"FEN?! WHO'S IN FEN! I'M HERE!" Lucemon roared, towering over them.
(a/n: I believe that the spare bits of data finally found each other and formed the good Lucemon. Do not question my theories!)
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."
The CCs, however, had no inkling of what was going on, except that Lucemon was there, so the CCs immediately raised their Digivices and yelled, "Oh crap! They're mobile phones!"
Then Lucemon saw them, and ambled over. "You're the ones who made me good, right?" he asked casually, leaning against a wall that had magically appeared out of nowhere.
"Ehh... did we, Kouji? Did we turn Lucemon good? Huh? Did we, Kouji?" Takuya mumbled nervously.
"Uh, no idea, Takuya. Hey, Izumi! Did we turn Lucemon good? I mean, good good, not the bad good, but good good? You *do* know what the difference between good good and bad good is, right? Do you, 'Zumi?" Kouji's hands were sweating.
"How'm I supposed to know the difference between good good and bad good? What about good bad and bad bad then? And did we turn Lucemon good, Junpei? And which good was it, Kouji? Good good or bad good?" Izumi rambled.
"It was good good, uh, I meant bad good, no, it's ba- IT'S GOOD GOOD, FOR DRAGONS-STAR'S SAKE!" Kouji screamed, causing quite an explosion.
"Dragons-star's sake?" the others asked quizzically, momentarily forgetting about the Lucemon problem.
"The author made me .;;" he muttered a reply.
"Well?" Lucemon asked.
The CCs cast furtive looks at Junpei.
"Uh... uh... uh... I dunno, my dear Izumi! Gee, we need a child's comment, cos' they observe better, see? Hey Tomoki, did we turn Lucemon good?" Junpei wiped his brow.
"I dunno, Junpei-san. Do you know, Kouichi-kun?" Tomoki enquired professionally, as if he'd shifted questions from big nasty powerful bad guys all his life. Which he probably had.
Kouichi casually replied. "I dunno. I was unconscious, remember? C'mon, Kouji and Takuya, you should know. You fought him! Come on! You should decide! We have no idea how he looks like! In details, I mean! Me least of all!"
Takuya and Kouji glared at Kouichi.
Kouichi stared at both of them, swivelling the right eyeball towards Kouji and the left towards Takuya.
[ten minutes later]
Still staring.
[ten minutes later]
Still staring.
[ten minutes later]
Still star-
"YOU BLINKED!" Kouichi screamed towards Takuya, which caused Kouji to blink.
"GWAHAHAHA! I WIN!" Kouichi screamed, beating his chest with his fists and blinking.
"YOU BLINKED!" Takuya and Kouji screamed.
Lucemon's eye twitched and he thought 'They *are* useless. They can't even answer a stupid question.' Woo, looks like old Lucy hasn't changed his ways! He coughed, causing Takuya and Kouji, and Kouichi, plus the other CCs to realise he was still there and continue asking each other.
"C'mon Kouji, he hit your side of Susanoomon first! You should know if his power was declining!"
"How'm I supposed to know if his $#@&%$@#!^%#@~*$@ power declined? Mess up with his insides?"
The CCs stared at Kouji, shocked.
"-_- Not that way you perverts."
"FORGET IT!" Lucemon roared, throwing his hands up in the air and stalking off with a disgusted air.
Anyway, Seraphimon was standing rather awkwardly in one corner, hiding one side of his body. And Cherubimon was ambling about giving young Digimons food and drinks, and he looked rather comical in a pink party hat.
"Stupid @#%!!$#&^!%$# author!" Cherubimon screamed, covering the ears of the young 'uns. "It's supposed to MATCH MY COAT, GEDDIT?! MATCH MY COAT!!!!!!!!!!" He uncovered the ears of the young 'uns, who had, unsurprisingly, heard everything and were asking with a questioning look "@#%!!$#&^!%$#?"
The CCs sweatdropped.
"The day just keeps getting better and better," Kouichi muttered.
"'Tis the season to be jolly, Kouji!" Gotsumon appeared and twirled his favourite CC around. "Heya, Kouji! Do you have any more evolutions to give me? And may the pink camels bless you!"
"Uh... no evos. Sorry."
"But it's CHRISTMAS DAY! The time for giving! The time for worshipping pink camels! The time for streaming blue streamers all over Seraphimon!"
Takuya stared at Gotsumon.
"So THAT'S why Seraphimon was hiding in a corner!"
"Seraphimon, you can come out now!" Izumi trilled hysterically.
" . . . Uh... what's so funny guys?" Junpei wondered aloud.
[The writer has had writer's block. The writer will die soon. The writer screams for hel-bzzzzzt.]
Telly walked by and screamed "Damn! My new 62500-Bot I ordered from Koushirou's not working! I'll get you Izumi! (That's a surname. Izzy for you dubbers.)"
[7 days pass and it becomes New Year]
It was a bright, sunny day. The beauty of the day was unrivalled and unbroken... at least until someone was poked by somebody else and screamed the 4-letter f-word!
"FISH YOU, TAKUYA!!"
The day had begun.
Everybody was prancing around celebrating New Year! They were all wearing red qipaos! No matter when they were male or female! Isn't that fun?
Kouji in a red qipao said "No," rather flatly.
Telly glared at Kouji, "You weren't supposed to say that."
Kouji started to say, "I don't care," until Izumi, wearing a pink qipao, whirled him around and sang out, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"
Kouji reluctantly gave the answer.
"SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-PANTS!"
"Who twirls round and round and goes all peewee?" (a/n: From the first question, this is all made up)
"SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-PANTS!"
"Yellow and spongy and porous is he!" (I finally caught on a bit ^^;)
"SPONGE-BOB-SQUARE-AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
[Character bashing (yes every single one) begins now]
[Junpei-bashing]
For Junpei had landed on Kouji in a very enlightening fashion (in other words-he squashed Kouji flat) for "flirting with his darling Izumi", his purple qipao twirling around in a very elaborate fashion. But the author didn't like that, so a SPLUT (© Jim Davis) immediately found its way to Junpei's face. Along with a grand piano, a 60-kg pan of lasagna, and a meadow full of flowers with Garfield on.
Garfield reached over and hugged Junpei. 'Yes!' he thought 'Finally there's a Monday in which I don't get SPLUTted! Then Garfield reached over Junpei's nose and grabbed the lasagna. He wolfed it down in seconds ('ONLY 60 KG?!"), then he disappeared.
Kouji, Izumi, the other CCs, and the Three Great Angels watched the scene with amusement. The same thought was on everybody's minds.
'O_O;;; I need to stop reading Telly's fanfics.'
And any-wayyyy... Lucemon.. appppppeared. Heee scaared thuuhh paaants offff thuuuuhh CeeeCeeeees-
"SHUDDUP WITH THAT SLOW TALK AND GET ON WITH IT!" Izumi shrieked, swatting the author with her fan.
Sorry. I stayed up until 3:00 last night to watch Star Wars.
"O.o;;; Dun ya Chaneese do sumting too celebraat Nuu Yer??" Kouichi asked wonderingly with a sudden accent from nowhere.
Course we do! Except it's on the Chinese calendar, and according to the above said, it's still 2003.
"Your calendar is weird -_-"
Don't diss our calendar. For one, we have far more holidays than you because of our countrymen's patriotism.
"What does -that- have to do with more holidays?"
'Cause they were respectable people and we have a holiday in memory of 'em.
"So YOU'RE saying our country doesn't have respectable people?!" Kouji demanded. Without waiting for an answer, he whipped out an icon that has meant much to Japanese people over the years.
"Well then look at QOO*!"
Takuya gasped.
"Kouji, you have a Qoo plushie?! They're supposed to be really rare! Oh my god! This one's holo too!"
(a/n: I have never heard of a holo plushie, but still)
Takuya glomped the Qoo plushie.
Izumi face-faulted.
"Kouji..."
"Yes dear 'Zumi?"
"Drag him to the loony bin."
"Yes, dear 'Zumi!"
"Noooooooo 'Zumi forgive meeeee!" Takuya screamed as he was dragged kicking by Kouji, who was wearing a -__- look on his face.
(If you are a Takufangirl stop reading NOW. Minor Taku-bashing. If you are a Koujifangirl or a Kouichifangirl you are advised not to read. Even more minor Kou-bashings. In fact, you shouldn't read this at all.)
[Kouji, Takuya and Kouichi bashing]
Suddenly fangirls appeared from all around the country, screaming "Don't hurt my Taku!"
They kicked Kouji in the willy and dragged Takuya away from him. Then they started glomping him.
And then fangirls appeared from all around the country, screaming "Don't hurt my Kouji!"
They kicked Takuya in the willy and scratched the Takufangirls.
The Takufangirls kicked Kouji in the willy and scratched the Koujifangirls.
This continued for a thousand rounds.
The suddenly one of the Takufangirls accidentally stepped on Kouichi's face.
This caused fangirls from all around the country to appear, screaming "Don't hurt my Kouichi!"
Then the Kouichifangirls kicked Takuya in the willy and scratched the Takufangirls.
Then the Takufangirls, due to the unexplainable fact that there are more Takufangirls that Koujifangirls and Kouichifangirls put together, split into two groups each fighting the Koujifangirls and Kouichifangirls, kicking the boys in the willy many times.
Tomoki, Izumi, the Three Great Angels and Junpei just watched the scene with wide eyes.
"O_O Catfight."
Lucemon was forgotten amidst all the chaos.
*rubs hands evilly* Two more left to bash! Once you're all bashed, you will return to the human world! *adds menacingly* The next one bashed has a hard time! Now... which one?
"The midget," said Izumi. "The girl," said Tomoki. "The whinger," said Izumi. "The bossyboots," said Tomoki. "The youngest first," said Izumi. "No, the oldest," said Tomoki. "Tommy should," said Izumi. "Zoe should," said Tomoki. "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!" "YOU!"
SHUTTUP!!!!!!!!!
Everybody turned to look at Telly.
Look, one of you is going to get bashed. I say we decide who by playing Truth or Dare, a classic.
"O_O NUUUUUUUUU!" the CCs screamed.
Kouji whimpered.
"Do we have to play toooo?"
Kouichi patted his back.
"Yes, Nii-chan."
Telly looked at the scene.
ISN'T THAT JUST SO KAWAII? *captures it on the camera*
"Anyway, let's begin," said Vaness, Telly's yami side. (No more clones!)
The CCs sat in a circle.
"Ok, here are the rules," said Vaness. "Whoever doesn't answer a question has to get bashed. Same for the dares."
The CCs sighed.
"Kouji first ^_^"
"Izumi... Since you probably won't do that in a million years, and you have no choice now, will you... I mean, I dare you to kiss me?" he said shyly.
Izumi blinked.
Tomoki grinned smugly.
"OF COURSE KOUJI! I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU! HOW ON EARTH -DID- YOU KNOW?"
Izumi then proceeded to kiss him. The background immediately transformed to pink, floaty hearts. Kouji lay dreamily on the floor as he and Izumi locked lips.
AWW KAWAII! ^_^ Although I suck at writing fluff this is the best I've ever done.
Junpei covered Tomoki's eyes.
Then Izumi sprang up.
Tomoki did NOT like the look in those eyes.
"Tommy, I dare you to get bashed, right now."
Well, it looks like there's no choice. Let the Tomoki-bashing begin!
[Although personally I don't think there are any Tomokifangirls, but just to be safe, Tomoki-bashing ahead]
[Tomoki is transported to a dueling arena, the Yu-Gi-Oh kind.]
And he faces... MOKUBA?!
What the hell are you doing here? I arranged for Seto!
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NIICHAN COULDN'T COME TODAY SO HE ASKED ME TO COME INSTEAD OF HIM HE SAID I NEEDED TO REFINE MY DUELING SKILLS ANYWAY I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
Make that a sugar-high Mokuba. -_-
Tomoki: 2000 Mokuba: 2000
"What the hell? I don't even have a deck!" Tomoki said.
Use mine. Although it's in Japanese and it sucks. So I can't translate for you.
[Brief as-much-action-as-a-humour-writer-can-produce-action mode]
Mokuba summoned a monster in defense mode, the Pink Eyes Green Magician. It had an attack of 500 and a defense of 2100.
Tomoki summoned a four-star Zombie Knightmajigger, which had an attack of 2100 and a defense of 500, in attack mode.
"WAHAHAHA Zombie! Attack that wimpish excuse for a Magician!"
You see, the only magicians Tomoki had seen were the conjuring flowers from doves type.
The Magician was obliterated. But Mokuba grinned.
"YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD! THE SWORD IMPRISONING MAJIGGER! IT IMPRISONS YOUR ZOMBIE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN YOU!"
"AWW MAN!"
Then Mokuba summoned his Timeless Warlock. It had an attack of 800 and a defense of 600.
"TURN THE CLOCK, TIMELESS WARLOCK! DON'T FAIL ME NOW! I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN YOU, TELLY!"
Help us all -_-
The hand rested on the tower.
The Zombie Knightmajigger exploded.
Tomoki: 1800 Mokuba: 2000
(I'm just making up the numbers, since I suck at Math -_-)
It was Tomoki's turn.
"I summon the Three-headed Beastajigger! And then I equip the Bad Ring to it, increasing its attack by 700 and its defense by 500! But if this beast is destroyed, I lose 500 Life Points!"
"Attack, Three-headed Beastajigger!"
There went the Timeless Warlock.
Mokuba summoned the Pepsi Man. It had an attack of 100 and a defense of 100.
"I end my turn."
"LOSER!" Tomoki yelped. "Attack, Beastajigger!"
"Not so fast, I activate my monster's special ability, Pepsi Bribing! Your monster will now be inactive for three turns! This ability also renders Magic cards useless! I now summon The Red Lotused Girl Guard! It has an attack of 1500 and a defense of 1200! Destroy his Beastajigger!"
There went the Beastajigger.
Tomoki: 1100 Mokuba: 2000
Tomoki sighed.
He summoned the Purple Electricajigger thing. It had an attack of 850 and a defense of 800.
It was destroyed.
Tomoki: 600 Mokuba: 2000
Tomoki's eyes went up. He had drawn a good card.
"I summon the Hawk Warrior! It has an attack of 1000 and a defense of 700! Next, I equip it with the Big Bang's Evil Side! This increases its attack and defense by a thousand!"
The Girl Guard disappeared.
Tomoki: 600 Mokuba: 1200
Mokuba summoned the Verbal Warrior. It had an attack of 200 and a defense of 300.
"Monsters with attack over 800 cannot attack this thing! It also deactivates all Magic and Trap cards!"
Tomoki did some quick math.
"Damn! I still have too much attack!"
"I sacrifice my Hawk Warrior for my Amazon Girl! It has an attack of 1950 and a defense of 1850! Then I summon the UFO Turtle! It has an attack of 1400 and a defense of 1200! You suck! Die!"
Mokuba drew a card and summoned the Holy Elf. It had an attack of 1850 and a defense of 1900.
UFO Turtle died.
Tomoki: 400 Mokuba: 1200
Tomoki summoned the Female Assasin of Fire. It had an attack of 1500 and a defense of 1000. His Amazon Woman destroyed Mokuba's Holy Elf.
Tomoki: 400 Mokuba: 1100
Mokuba summoned a One-horned Blue Monster. He then activated a Magic card, which increased the attack of land monsters by 500 and their defense by 400.
The Assasinness waved goodbye.
Tomoki: 0000 Mokuba: 1100
So did Tomoki.
As he and Telly were sucked through the portal, Vaness waved to Mokuba.
"Bye, Mokuba! We had a fun time! And tell your brother that he is Sexy! A True Bishie!"
"Okay! I'll remember that! ^_^ My brother Seto Kaiba is a true bishieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-!"
[We go back to the Digital World]
"-AND I HAVE NOT DYED MY HAIR, FOR ONE LAST TIME, YOU ICHIBAN BAKA INU! (It means very stupid dog in Japanese ^_^)" Izumi screeched. Then she turned. "Oh. You're back." Then the meaning of that hit her.
"SHIT!"
Izumi was sucked through a portal.
And she appeared in...
That will be continued in the next chapter.
*watches audiences gasp in horror and throw jam sandwiches at her*
Chill, chill! Okay! I'll finish the damn story! Just don't throw jam sandwiches! I'm allergic to jam! Aaaa-chooo!
And Izumi landed in...
In...
In...
"IN?!" the exasperated CCs ask, frustrated.
In Shikoku! ^_^ Along with the other CCs+ Because, as you see, Ophanimon had discovered it was about dinner time for them all and so sent them back! ^_^
"NO FAIR!" the CCs except Izumi yelled.
Don't worry, she'll get bashed here. Lemme just think.
As they entered the Real World, they heard words spoken.
"Hikari... Hikari... you are as beautiful as the sun. My heart aches for the feeling of your bosom-"
"Not bosom, Takeru, dammit! It's profanity to speak it in PG fics! Aim for somewhere higher than that!"
"Uh... My heart aches for the feeling of your throat?"
"No, dammit! Higher!"
"Uh... My heart aches for the feeling of your chin?"
"No! Why did I get stuck with a complete romance dud? -_- It's her FACE, god dammit! Her Eff-Ay-See-Ee!"
Then the CCs landed back in Shikoku.
"O_O Weird..." the CCs said.
(I am a great fan of Takari, and I couldn't resist replaying the A Knight's Tale scene again in this fic. =P)
No time had passed at all (Ophanimon's clock must've been screwed) and the mums were still sleeping in the couches, Junpei's Christmas cracker meal on the table.
Tachia KANA yuusha wa Boku no kana ni iru Sobia TATSU Taaget Blablablablablablabla Ikanai!
The CCs facefaulted at this random outburst of Digimon 02's Japanese Opening.
[ring, ring]
*rushes to office* Hello?
"HI!"
"Yes?"
"I FORBID YOU TO BASH IZUMI! I AM AN IZUMI FANBOY!"
"O_O And if I do?"
"YOU DIE BY MY SWORD!"
"King Arthur freak O_o;;"
"KING ARTHUR RULEZ! OH YEAH BABY! KING ARTHUR ROCKZ YR SOCKZ! OH YEAH, UH HUH, OH YEAH, UH HUH!"
*starts backing away from receiver very quickly*
"-oh yeah, uh huh, oh yeah, uh huh, king arthur rules, oh yeah baby, king arthur rocks yr sockz, oh yeah, uh huh..."
*screams and runs away screaming madly*
*crashes into Jounouchi-chan*
Ouch, eep, so sorry... *sniffle*
*looks up*
*can't believe what she's seeing*
*mouth drops open*
JOUNOUCHI-CHAN!!!!!!!
*hugs him to bits*
Jounouchi: Eeeeeep.
(He's the Joey guy in Yu-Gi-Oh!)
[Mai enters]
She stares, flabbergasted.
"You-you-you boyfriend stealer!"
She grabs a pan and advances.
"Hold on!" Telly screamed. "I don't support JounouchiMai, so there!"
[Mai screams and disappears]
[Telly gets transported back to the Real World, in her office, where she's on the floor, hugging her life-size Jounouchi plush to bits]
*shakes head* Ugg?
*notices CCs staring at her strangely*
AHH! You didn't see anything of the sort! We were just-I mean, I was just holding onto him for support because my imaginary cheesecake tripped me!
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
Anyway, so the story ends-*notices jam sandwiches* Actually NOT YET!
Telly informed the CCs rather solemnly as she recovered from the trauma of being seen hugging a ploosh toy. "Izumi's not getting bashed because I dun wanna risk my life _."
"NUU FAIR!" was the general reaction.
"TOO BAD!" screamed Tomoki.
"YOU DIE ANYWAY!" screamed Kouichi.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" screamed Takuya.
"Sorry, Izumi," whimpered Kouji.
I guess it wasn't so general after all.
The boys immediately launched themselves onto...
Not Izumi, you perverts!
Pillows!
They immediately threw the pillows towards Izumi!
Bwahahahahahahahaha!
And since my hands are cold, I'll stop the bashing now!
So they all went to bed.
"NO, we didn't!" the CCs yelled. "What about our dinner?"
Oh... right.
So they all had dinner, and went to bed.
Thus is the corny ending for a corny story, and thusly, the story ends.
And as they went to bed, Junpei was seen waddling around asking "Hey, where's my Christmas cracker?"
The mothers just grinned quietly.
~*~
*Qoo is a drink brand. I think it's from Japan. Qoo looks like a little blue humanthinger with a horn. Sorta like a Chibimon with legs. And it goes all "Qooooooooo!" in this annoying way in the TV commercials. Anyway, it makes fruit water with vitamins. The White Grape flavour's the only good one, if you ask me.