IMPORTANT NOTE: In case you didn't notice from the summary, THIS FIC IS NOT connected AT ALL to The Something series.
DISCLAIMER: I own very little, and the Left Behind series is not one of my few possessions. I even have to borrow the books to read them. So no suing, 'kay, because money isn't one of my possessions either.
The Drug
By Kari Anna
He couldn't stop.
Nicolae was not a habit he could kick, no matter how hard he tried. With every look, every smug smile, every kiss Nicolae gave him, Buck felt his soul slipping away. He knew the gates of heaven would never open for him. That had become obvious a long time ago.
He had fought the feelings tooth and nail. To win that battle would have required the person fighting it to be far more than human. It wasn't, after all, as if Nicolae was without his ways to draw people in. And like a suicidal, Buck had eagerly thrown himself into the feelings, when he realized he couldn't stop them anyway. Heaven had eluded him long before this night.
Like a drug he was addicted to, Buck needed more of Nicolae. His need had gotten out of hand, and had dragged him with it.
Buck steered his thoughts away from himself, away from Nicolae, not wanting to think about what was going on. He wondered if Chloe was alright, whether she and Rayford had escaped the quiet persecution that had begun to rob the tribulation saints and the Jews of those who could not otherwise be silenced.
Did Chloe believe the message he'd left on her cellphone? That he was sorry for leaving? Were she and the others of the core group praying for him, or had they given up on Buck? Surely the news had already led them to the conclusion that Buck wasn't just working for-- he couldn't go down that road. Thinking about that would lead to thinking about what was happening, and Buck wasn't sure he'd survive that. Or maybe it was just his sanity that wouldn't survive. He couldn't risk going crazy now. Too many nightmares to keep a scrambled mind busy until the Glorious Appearing.
Buck moaned, then cried out for more. He couldn't think now. Nicolae wouldn't let him, and all Buck's hopes slipped away again.
FIN.