It was one of those normal days in Konoha; it was September 29 and it was only 36 F (2.2 C) outside and it was just noon. They had already gotten a foot of snow last night and everyone could've sworn that global freezing was happening, the amount of believe to this was as logical as believing that Pamela Anderson had those same sized breasts when she was eight years old. Hyuga Hinata, a girl with blue hair that looked similar to the shade inside of her grandma's 1992 Cadillac Deville sedan that her grandma got by lifting up her shirt and showing her bra to the lawyer who represented Garth Brooks and a charge for going inside a woman's restaurant in downtown Augusta, Maine to play "Baby Boy" by Beyonce. Yes, Hinata's granny Hyuga Elizabeth Betsu got a car that was 24 years old, but it smelt like it was made twenty minutes ago. It was enough to make Neji sneak over to Hinata's house and take a four hour nap in the backseat.
Despite the cold weather, Hinata didn't look at the forecast beforehand and had a thong under her ninja pants. Her tutu was really cold and she hated that she didn't put on granny panties like Neji had on. She wanted to impress Naruto, not make him want to get psychiatric help at a hospital in Madrid by someone who couldn't even read Japanese that was written on a chalkboard. Hinata was busy in her favorite class, "Understanding the Hidden Philosophy of Using Your Jutsu in the Kitchen". It was a course that demonstrated stuff like taking out the trash with your powers by moving your hands at a certain angle and how to chop onions blindfolded by allowing your Jutsu to guide you, but there were a few conditions you had to fulfill first before you could even do some of these; first, you couldn't be wearing anything black. Second, you had to drive of Mitsubishi. Three, you couldn't listen to Oprah on your car radio, and four, you had to have at least gotten a Voltorb on Pokemon Go. If you didn't fulfill these conditions, you were not allowed to take this class.
There were eight people in this class, Hinata, TenTen, Naruto, Neji, Sakura, and three other niggas whose names weren't known. They were watching Kakashi talk about random shit, like the time he took a shit inside a Walmart in Montreal and didn't flush the toilet and caused it to overflow when the guy who went inside after him took a shit on top of Kakashi's shit and then flushed it. Kakashi used an escape jutsu and managed to go back to Calgary where he got his special polish for his face mask.
"Yeah, I remember the time I taught you that jutsu for turning on the water faucet," said Kakashi as he put his hands down to his ankles and began to make a really weird finger motion. The water turned on magically as he did that and Hinata began to clap her hands. The sound of her palms colliding with one another sounded exactly like diarrhea after you ate a mushroom and onion sandwich your uncle made you after he got home from his job as a part-time strip club bouncer. Sakura cringed her nose at the sound Hinata's hands made when she clapped. So did everyone else; it sounded so nasty that it smelt bad, too.
"Kakashi-sensei, please let Hinata come forth so she can wash her hands," said Neji as he laughed at his cousin.
"Hmm, yes. I could've sworn that someone had diarrhea after listening to that," he said as he motioned for her.
Hinata sighed and went to the sink. Kakashi started to do a weird hand motion and the soap appeared and he gave it to her.
"Your hands sound like diarrhea, nigga," he said. "Clean them or I will tell Tsunade that we don't like you."
Hinata sighed as she washed her hands. She wanted Tsunade to like her because Tsunade invited all the people she liked to the strip club on Tuesday afternoons.
"Now," said Kakashi as he threw a roll of paper towels at Hinata that knocked her over, "a friendly reminder for all you jerks. There is a Swedish festival tomorrow and I expect you all to at least attend it. Your extra credit is to make something that Swedish eat for the festival. Oh, yeah, and we have a Norwegian student attending the class. He is one of sixteen shinobi's of the entire country of Norway."
A guy appeared at the door and he had very light brown hair and a necklace that said, "Turnips" in Kanji. (蕪) It was the weirdest thing to ever exist other than a Bojangles in Thailand that had burgers made of ants. Hinata was curious and said,
"Why do you have the Kanji for turnips on you?"
"My family had an awesome turnip garden!" he said in Japanese with an extremely heavy Norwegian accent. "I love turnips!"
"I hate turnips!" shouted Neji and TenTen together. They both laughed and then began to French kiss right in front of the entire class, causing Kakashi to vomit into the sink.
"Class, shut the fuck up!" said Kakashi as he clapped his hands together. When he did that, blue smoke came out of them and said, "Sorry, niggas."
"So, tell us a little bit about yourself," said Sakura to the Norwegian guy.
"My name is Daniel," he said, "and I love chips and salsa that were made in Taiwan. But my favorite thing I like to eat are Kringla, which are Norwegian pretzels! I like the kind with crushed almonds on them, too!"
"That sounds so romantic," said a random shinobi in the class. The class turned around and threw tomatoes at him. They splattered against his face and he fell over and laughed as he ate the free tomatoes.
"Norwegian pretzels?" whispered Hinata out of curiosity.
"Yes, and I brought some," said Daniel as he took out a tin. The pretzels were covered with almonds and Hinata was drooling so bad that her panties were wet with excitement. Daniel went around and he began to distribute them among his classmates. Kakashi looked at Daniel as if Daniel had just stole the 1985 Lincoln Town Car that Kakashi's mom had stolen from a drug dealer in San Antonio in 1987. Once all the shinobi's got a fucking pretzel, Hinata began to inhale the scent of it and showed more attraction to it than she did to Naruto.
"Thank you, Daniel-kun," said Hinata as she grabbed the pretzel. She was so glad to get a Norwegian pretzel! It smelt pretty good, but when Hinata bit into it...something was off. It didn't taste particularly fresh at all. In fact, it was pretty stale! As soon as she finished swallowing her bite and her throat settled, Hinata immediately farted so loudly that it broke the chair underneath her! She fell down and it made a crash that was so loud that you could probably hear it from the other side of the school. Hinata farted again and a piece of wood that was part of the desk and it went flying towards the blackboard towards Kakashi. Kakashi did a handspring out of the way and the piece of wood pierced the blackboard.
"Hyuga Hinata!" shouted Kakashi. "What the hell is wrong with you? You just farted and broke that desk which we stole from a rich school in San Diego! What do you have to say for yourself?"
Hinata closed her eyes and grunted, releasing a fart that was so powerful that it was slice in half by her thong and it was evenly divided among the classroom who all started gagging at the smell.
"My pretzel is stale!" said Hinata as she took another bite and threw it at Kakashi. It hit him in the penis and he fell over in pain. Hinata farted again and jumped out of the window and ran into the blinding snow, crying as she farted the whole time.