Notes: Cross posted to Tumblr and ao3.
A place to collect all of my small one-shots, requests, and prompts from Tumblr.
Story title from "Call If You Need Me" by Vance Joy.
Chapter title from "Simplify" by Young the Giant.
Anonymous asked: If you take requests, what about Brittana and moments on stage?
The first time Santana catches Brittany's eye on stage, her heart stops.
It's only a brief moment, a split second where their eyes meet during a turn in the choreography at their very first performance during invitationals, but Santana's instantly addicted. Brittany's blue eyes sparkle under the stage lights, and she's bright and glowing, her movements sure and easy; she looks as thrilled as Santana feels. It's electric and exciting and intoxicating and just a little bit scary, and Santana can't wait to feel it again.
/
The next time she feels it, it's during sectionals. She can sense more than see Brittany behind her, just above her on the choir riser, and when she turns Brittany's there, with a warm smile for Santana like she always is. She's beautiful in black and pink, her dress swirling around her knees and her body spinning like it was made just to dance. The crowd cheers for them but all Santana can focus on is the back of Brittany's hand brushing over her arm and causing goosebumps to rise. She feels alive, and every part of this moment is engraved in her memory.
/
It's at regionals, in the middle of their Journey medley, that Santana realizes that this isn't just a little thing, but a full-blown, happens-every-time, makes-my-heart-stop thing. She can't quite believe that the glee club made it this far, if she's being honest with herself, and she can't quite believe how much she relies on this dumb little club now, how much she looks forward to it everyday, and she especially can't quite believe how fast everything feels; the performance, the lights, the crowd, the song, the entire year. Before she knows it her first solo line is right there and her stomach turns into a ball of ice; but then Brittany's eyes meet hers from the row beside her and everything in Santana stills. Rachel's voice fades away, the crowd quiets, the stage lights dim, and, for just a moment, it's just her and Brittany, and the anxiety in Santana's shoulders melts away as Puck's voice echoes across the auditorium. Brittany's smile is the last thing Santana sees before the colours of the lights and the crowd and the stage fade back in and it's her turn to sing.
/
Santana doesn't show it, but she's so nervous about her solo that she's actually nauseous, but everyone always knows her as the untouchable Santana Lopez, so she pushes her nerves down and smirks and plays up her confidence backstage. Before she knows it, the lights are dimmed and she's at the back of the choir risers and the music is starting. She takes a shaky breathe and glances and Brittany who gives her a sweet, encouraging smile as she pushes Santana's hair back from her face, as soft and gentle as she always is. And a couple verses later, when she beckons Brittany over to her, she forgets about everything that's been going on between them for the past little bit, and everything on stage narrows down to just her and Britt; Brittany looks into her eyes and everything simplifies.
/
At regionals their junior year everything hurts. Santana can feel the ache like someone is wrenching on a fishhook right beneath her sternum, like her heart is being battered against her ribs, like her bones are freezing right down to the marrow, like a ball of lead is caught in her stomach and the ceiling is pressing her down into the floor and she can't move; she feels stiff and sore and nauseous and everything hurts. Acting like she hasn't been torn in two hurts, everyone's nervous smiles and oblivious support hurts, dancing beside Brittany hurts, the fact that the choreography places fucking Wheels between them hurts, seeing Brittany's sparkling blue eyes directed at someone else hurts, feeling Brittany's hand ghost over her shoulders hurts, but what especially hurts is the fact that she has to smile and pretend it doesn't. Brittany catches her eye from across the stage at the end of the performance, breathing hard and staring at her so intently that Santana feels like she's burning up. Santana looks away and that, more than anything, hurts.
/
It's both terrifying and exhilarating to sing a song she helped to write, a song that she wrote the first verse for, a song that she wrote for Brittany, a song that she is singing for Brittany in front of hundreds of strangers; Brittany was the first person to see the lyrics last night, and she kissed her so softly that Santana's heart ached. All of her nerves fade as soon as Brittany's voice joins her, and when she steps up beside Brittany and their eyes meet with wide smiles, all of Santana's shame and fear and everything that's happened over the past year melts away and Santana's practically giddy with the possibilities that the coming summer will bring.
/
Dancing with Brittany is something that Santana's loved ever since they were five years old and Brittany was teaching her to waltz in the soccer field behind the playground; dancing with Brittany for the first time on stage since being outed is both terrifying and freeing. Brittany's arms are strong around are her back, as they always are, and it makes her skin tingle. Hundreds of people in the audience know about something she's kept hidden for so many years, but with Britt's eyes on her and a warm hand on her shoulder, she knows that she doesn't really have to worry about everything that's been scaring her anymore, because Brittany's always been there through it all.
/
Brittany is really nervous for her first big solo part at regionals, so nervous that she almost freezes before they head out on stage. But Santana catches her hand and gives her a smile right before they head onto stage and she can see the tension melt from Brittany as she softens, her face relaxing and her shoulders dropping. Brittany gives her a relieved smile as they head out onto stage, and that's when Santana knows that she has the same calming effect that Brittany has on her while they're on stage. Brittany kills her solo, because of course she does, and as she spins at the front of the stage and heads back to the rest of the Troubletones she beams at Santana, and Santana has never been more proud.
/
Santana meets Brittany's eyes as the walk towards each other, their voices rising and falling together flawlessly, and Santana can't help but think back to last summer, that night after the fireworks; a smile twitches the corner of her lips, and a returning one spreads across Brittany's face. Santana knows that Brittany's thinking back to that night, what seems like a lifetime ago. Santana's been out for almost six months by now, and she almost can't remember how nerve-wracking it was to kiss Brittany on the check that night; what she can remember in vivid detail is the red lipstick kiss on her cheek, the glow of green-blue light from the dashboard flashing in blue eyes, the flicker of streetlights painting freckled skin in gold, and Brittany's fingers tangled with hers over the centre console. She remembers all this in split-second technicolour, and this new memory of Brittany in red, singing a duet together at nationals doesn't obscure the old one, but rather makes it even more precious.
/
The next time Santana performs everything is so different she barely recognizes anything anymore, but not in a good way. Brittany doesn't perform beside her and that stings the most; she watches from the wing of the stage, with that broken look on her face that mirrors the one Santana feels. Her heart aches almost constantly, these days, and despite her best intentions of saving their relationship before it could crash and burn, everything's already in flames. It doesn't just hurt a little bit, like Brittany said before Santana went on, it still feels like something reached into her chest and ripped out her heart every time she looks at Brittany and remembers that she's not hers anymore. Santana knows that she did this to herself, and that somehow makes it worse.
/
They don't perform together for a very long time after that, long enough that the memory of that spark only her and Brittany shared when their eyes met on stage starts to change and fade, no matter how desperately Santana tries to hold on to it. But glee still has regionals, and Santana tears up as soon as she spots Britt on stage without her by her side. Santana's eyes track Brittany the entire time. She's beautiful in her purple dress, but also sad; her smile is glowing but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, even under the bright stage lights. It's the sadness hidden behind her smile that sends Santana looking for her after the winners are announced and the auditorium is empty. Brittany sits by herself on centre stage, and Santana's chest aches at how wrong it is, how wrong everything is right now. She doesn't say anything as she approaches her, but she doesn't have to; Brittany always knows, and she takes the offered hand with a small smile.
/
It's still a couple months before they perform on stage together again, and it's somehow even better than Santana remembers, with Brittany beside her the entire time, beaming and flirting and teasing and just being, in a way they haven't been able to for a very long time. Santana almost forgot how right it feels, dancing beside Brittany with their fingers tangled together. Brittany's eyes sparkle and, when they meet Santana's, like always, they send a spark racing down Santana's spine and everything in her stills and calms. Brittany spins into Santana, using her momentum to press a kiss to her cheek with a grin that's both cheeky and sweet, and Santana melts into her arms.
/
The first performance during Mercedes' mall tour is Santana's moment, the one that her mami always told her about, that someday she would just know when something's right, and she would know exactly what to do. It's looking across stage to catch Brittany's eyes like she always does that makes realization shoot through her like liquid light. Brittany's blue eyes still glow bright under the crappy mall lighting, and her smile widens as she meets Santana's gaze, her lips spreading and softening and her eyes sparkling. Santana starts as she realizes that this is that moment, the one her mami told her about, the moment that she realizes that this is exactly what she wants for the rest of her life; to be able to look over at Brittany's glowing eyes and know that she's the reason behind their happiness. It's at a dingy mall in L.A., her shirt stuck to her back with sweat and bored shoppers wandering past without a second look, that Santana starts to plan the most important question she's ever going to ask Brittany; it's where Santana starts to plan their future.
/
They've performed together so many times before, both throughout high school and on tour with Mercedes, but this, this performance, Santana knows is the most important of her life. She's nervous and jittery but also excited and eager. Brittany is as adorable as always, moving through their mostly improvised choreography with ease, fun and bright and beautiful. Santana can barely contain her excitement, and even when she starts to sink down to one knee and Brittany follows her lead instead if staying in the chair like Santana planned, she's nothing more than ecstatic; Brittany is always on the same page as her. Brittany hops on the piano and her eyes turn soft and liquid and warm as her voice melts into Santana's, her fingers trailing down Santana's arm with all the gentleness in the world, and Santana knows that this is the moment she's been waiting to arrive for months — or, really, her whole life.
/
Santana knows that all their other moments, all the performances they've done together, all of their songs and dances have lead to this, to this first performance as wife and wife. The song keeps going, but Santana can't bring herself to pay attention, not when Brittany is goofing off with her on stage, her eyes bluer than Santana's ever seen them, her smile happier than its ever been. Santana meets Brittany's eyes and love and adoration shoot through her like an electric shock, warming her from where Brittany's fingers twine with her own all the way through to her toes, like liquid happiness is spreading through her veins until all she feels is loved and adored.
And, just like the first time Santana caught Brittany's eye on stage, all those years ago, her heart stops.