"Poor unfortunate souls reprisal"
Ben walked into Uma's room, and looked at all the strewn bottles used for alchemy, and shivered, he knew he shouldn't be doing this, Mal had warned him, but he needed to set things right with Mal, and besides, she was a changed girl...
Right...?
"Uma...?"
Then to his horror a slithery tentacle slithered over his foot, he screeched in horror and stumbled back, as Uma, in her true form, came in drying her freshly washedhair, wearing a turquoise robe to match thehighlights in her usually braided
hair that now dragged across the floor.
"Hey... not all of us are half fish...and being only half mer-person... well... getting wet has its side effects..."
Ben shook his head, shocked as she started turning back into her human form in front of his very eyes.
The short girl gave him a mischievous smirk,
"So I'm assuming your betrothed don't know you're here?" Uma said once she was human again.
Ben shook his head, unable to speak at first.
"Mhmm... I figured... you and your little woman had a spat didn't you...?"
"H-how did you-?!"
But Uma shushed him,
"Ohh sweetie... I have to know these things- it's what I do! Now what can I do for you?"
"I was told by Gil that you could help me... I'm worried that Mal doesn't think I'm... well... attractive... that she's bored of me. That I'm not enough. I mean no offense but she's a villain kid, you all are tough... and I'm a pansy compared to her..."
/Uma hummed, then said
"If you think you're 'unattractive' which I think is complete bull but that's just my opinion, I could give you my love potion #666. It took many tries for me to perfect this old family recipe- it'll give you an entirely different aura- your aura
is the key to your personality, and whether people like you- if you aura is too negative, too dark, people can feel it, and tend to steer clear."
"You can do that...?" Ben asked, and Uma smiled,
"Of course Boo! But I need payment... traditionally the payment is something of value to said person, like for instance, a jewel from a crown, or a prized possession, but I'll make a deal with you...
What I want is..."
"You want my voice don't you...?" Said Ben, half joking,but Uma nodded,
"I'm not trying to be cliche or anything, but you've got such a sexy voice, and I want to hear it more, I'll give it back after 5 days. But you have to either get your girl back with a kiss of true love, or break it off completely before then, or there
could
be side effects to the potion..."
"What do you mean?" Ben asked,
"Well... those who misuse the potion for their own personal gain...they end up dying... because once the time runs out, the potion turns into a poison... and you slowly die. It's a defense mechanism..."
Ben gulped.
"Well... I suppose I could get her back in five days if I try really hard..."
"That's the spirit!" Uma said, gathering a bunch of vials around her cauldron.
"I admit in the past I've been a nasty-
Mal wasn't kidding when she called me well a witch!
But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways!
Repented seen the light
And made the switch!
And I fortunately know a little magic,
It's a talent that I always have possessed!
And here lately, please don't laugh- I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed!
Poor unfortunate souls... in pain, in need!
This one's longing to be thinner- that one wants to get the girl! And do I help them?! Yes indeed! Poor unfortunate souls! It's sad but true!
They come flocking to my cauldron saying
"Spells Uma please!" And do I help them?! Yes I do!
Now it's happened once or twice- someone couldn't pay the price!
And I'm afraid I had to rake em cross the coals!
Yes I've had the odd complaint! But in a whole I've been a saint!
To those poor unfortunate souls!" She sang as she crafted the potion,
"Now... one sip of this, you'll have an entirely new outlook on life- are you sure you want this?" She said, Ben nodded,
"I've been a coward far too long... but how do I get her to kiss me without talking?"
"You have your looks! Your pretty face! And don't underestimate the importance of body language!
Women just want a guy who listens! A gentleman who blabs is a bore!
Yes on the isle it's much preferred for the men not to say a word! I know it's kinda backwards but it's true!
Andafter all dear what is idle prattle for?!"
Uma took the bottle and dangled it on a chain in front of his face.
"Come on she's not at all impressed with conversation! True gentlemen avoid it when they can!
But on the isle people coo and fawn about a partner who's withdrawn! It's he who holds his tongue who gets his girl!
Come on you poor unfortunate soul! Go ahead! Make your choice!
I'm a very busy girl and I haven't got all day! It won't take much! Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul! It's sad but true!
If you wanna cross the bridge lovey you have to pay the toll!
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!" She cried, thrusting an old weathered scroll in his hands, he started skimming through it looking for fine print, but seeing as though right now his kinghood was only ceremonial, he had no idea what any of this meant.
/"The boss is on a roll! This poor unfortunate soul!" Uma cried out as a Ben shook his head, surely he was overthinking it, as he signed his name.
"Now... sing..." Uma said darkly,
"Uhh... sing...?" Ben said,
"well yeah, it has the best effect for the spell..."
"Oh." Ben said, then he sang a long low note, at first it felt like only a tiny itchy sensation in the back of his throat, then it slowly spread into a low burn, as his voice slowly left his body, forming outside of his mouth like your breath on
a cold day, only this ball of mist was blue... and glowing.
What have I done...? Ben thought.