ganon was eating an almond joy on top of death mountain looking up at the sky .
" om nom nom nom almond joy boss ." said in a playful tone rocking back and forth . the mountain started to shake with giant lava rocks bursting out of the top falling down on link and his goron friend from below , the elf looking boy ran around slashing some in half while trying to dodge them protecting his goron buddy by tackling him just in time before one of the overly size rocks that could even kill a goron crushed him , ganon looked down from above at them evil laughing . link looked around confused to where this laughter was coming from when he looked up to the faggot ginger up on the rocks .
" Don't laugh , it wouldn't be funny if it happened to you f*ck a$$! " .
" your right it wouldn't but it's not me its you kid ." mauhahaha."
suddenly the mountain began to shake more violently causing ganon to drop his almond joy little ways down the mountain cliff behind him .
" nooo not my candy! " ganon said nervously jumping down to get it , right as he reached his hand for it another hand met with his .he looked up going pale in the face for it was the great fairy from the fountain. she blushed as ganon shrieked in terror yanking his hand away from this jeffree star tranny looking mother f*cker who came out of the cave holding onto his precious almond joy .
" oh hey handsome , is this your candy bar ? " she said followed by a soft giggle floating in mid-air .
" kill it….ganon muttered with his eye twitching ….
" you know almond joy is one of my favored candy bar ." she leaned down to his face kissing the chocolate off the side of his lips .ganon backed up quickly putting his leg into the air as it lit up with purple flame catching her on fire in the process." she whimpered and wined trying to pat it out .
"kill it with fire!" he shouted , his foot finally slammed down on the horrific monster looking lady's head making her fling he chocolate bar high into the air as she slammed into the floor face first cracking the front of her tooth getting the london look in the process only to bounce upwards hitting the roof of the cave that her body now stuck into with her arms going limp dangling from the ceiling. droplets of blood from her mouth and body dripped down making a large puddle before slowly falling out of it crashing back down into a pool of blood . ganon walked up to a wall outside the cave gripping it tightly as his butt cheeks clenched tightly together enough to start a fire ripping a huge boulder out of the wall after a couple of farts and grunt noises . he lifted the giant thing over his head throwing it in the way of the entrance preventing any forms of escape for the abomination inside the cave .he turned around scratching his crotch with one hand and reached the other towards the sky with an open palm were the candy bar from before fell back into his grip , he peeled the wrapper back a little more and said with a serious expression .
" why do all the woman in hyrule look like men!." looking back down at the candy bar he took another bite walking down a path vanishing into purple smoke .
thus the fairy fountain near the entrance of death mountain was sealed by a giant boulder that would later be rediscovered by the hero of time , link . said SharpHermit closing the story book and throwing the piece of Sh*t out the window shattering glass over the word below this paragraph in slow motion .
the end .