Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, have no affiliation with the Marvel Universe and whatsoever. If I did, there would already be a Clintasha movie out there (how I wish).
A/N: Read this with the actual song I was writing to - Kiss It All Better by He Is We. This is beautifully heartbreaking. Enjoy.
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They were assassins. They knew Death like the back of their hands. They had experienced Death, if it was only the mere two seconds, or a one-month comatose. They had had people they hold dear taken away by Death. They knew Death. And they know one more day they live just means one more day near Death. They also knew that one of them would leave the other one day, and they knew that day couldn't be too far away. But little did they know that Death would pay them a visit so soon. Little did they know that that day was already happening before their eyes.
Clint was sitting on the window seat in his cramped room in their apartment, looking out onto the busy roads below him. He wanted go up to the roof, but it would just remind him more of her. He would go up to his nest when he needed time to think things through and Natasha always went to look for him. But this time, if he went up, she wouldn't be there to hold him together anymore. He sighed, forming a misty patch on the window.
He couldn't stop thinking about what happened those few days ago. He couldn't stop blaming himself for what had happened. The whole scene kept repeating over and over again in his head. He hadn't spoken to anyone except Natasha, he hadn't eaten for a week, and he hadn't slept at all, but nothing ached more than what had happened. Nothing hurt more than the fact that he didn't do something to prevent it from happening. Nothing frustrated him more than him allowing her to take a bullet just a few centimeters away from her heart. If she wasn't Natasha, she would have already died instantly from the hit.
It was just another mission to Kuwait. They had been there only two months ago, and last week, they were sent on a mission to extract information from an enemy's base and leave immediately. Everything went very smoothly, Natasha had already got her hands on all the information they needed when everything went haywire.
Their cover was somehow blown and they were surrounded by forty odd armed men. They were outnumbered, way outnumbered. Yes, they could probably take down twenty or twenty-five but there were 46, plus they were all armed with high-tech guns. But they couldn't give up, so they did the only thing they were left to do. They fought. Things were flying by, fire burning, ashes everywhere, bullets, gun sounds, blood, blood and more blood.
Just as sudden as the men appeared, a bullet landed in Natasha when she was fighting a hand to hand combat against one of the big men. He had seen the man aiming at her and was just shouting her name when the bullet embedded itself between her left shoulder and her heart. Then he felt as if his world had come to a halt. Everything instantly slowed down. The few men alive started retreating, leaving only sounds of sirens and people screaming and shouting outside the collapsing burning building they were in.
Their eyes locked, and the only thing he could see was the shock in those beautiful, blazing green eyes. The pain hadn't hit her yet, she was still standing, her mouth fell opened and there were blood stains everywhere on her SHIELD cat-suit. Then her hand flew to her chest and she started coughing. The blood began to stain her suit and her feet went limp. He immediately flew to her side to catch her so that she wouldn't hurt herself even more.
'Tasha, look at me, please,' he begged, choking back tears that were pooling in his eyes. Her eyes were out of focus then, she blinked really fast for a few times before staring into his glassy blue eyes again. He leaned down to kiss her cheek and soothingly tugged a few strands of her fiery red hair behind her ear. She looked like an angel in disguise. She was also bleeding out before his eyes.
'Clint…' she croaked out, her voice small but still trying to sound strong but failing as he saw her wince from the pain though she was trying really hard not to let it show. She rarely, if not never called him by his first name. She knew the chances of her surviving were close to zero.
'Yes, I'm here, I won't go anywhere, stay with me, just stay…' he whispered as he felt almost weightless, staring into those once persistent and passionate eyes that were now so empty and filled with pain.
'Clint…'
'Don't talk Tasha, it'll only make you hurt more,' he replied as his heart clenched in agony as he watched her eyelids drooped.
'It's not your fault,' she whispered, forcing out a small smile for him as she fought to breathe and to keep her eyes open. Those words made tears pour from his eyes.
'No, Tasha, don't leave me, look at me, I'm here, don't go, please, you're going to be okay,' he begged again, tears still streaming down his face as he held onto her as if he was holding onto his dear life. She was his life after all. She was the reason why he was still here. She gave him a reason to live. Without her, he would be nothing. At those words, she smiled again, a bittersweet smile that was small enough that could only be seen by him.
'Stay with me, Tasha, please, stay with me,' he whispered again and again to her like a prayer, waiting to be answered.
'I'm sorry…I… I love you,' she whispered as she winced visibly again and her eyelids slid close again. His heart felt as if it was about to burst. She was saying the three golden words that she had sworn would never come out of her lips. She was telling him the same three golden words after years of him telling her. She was whispering the same three golden words that were not allowed to be said in their line of job but she said them, still, because she knew that might be her only and last chance.
'Tasha, please, stay with me, stay with me,' he said again as he shook her slightly, his voice coarse as he continued, 'I love you, Natasha Romanoff, I love you, don't leave me, I'm not ready yet, please stay with me..'
'I'm sorry,' she whispered as she tried to raise a hand to cup his cheek but it stopped in midair as she exhaled one last breath and fell lifeless in his arms.
'No! Tasha!' he screamed, picking up the hand that was reaching out to him, 'Wake up! Look at me! Please! You can't go!'
'Not after you just told me you love me,' he whispered. And he felt as if the whole world just collapsed onto him. As if all oxygen was extracted away from Earth. As if his world just stopped turning.
He holds on to her memory,
All it is, is a memory. He cries, "Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me. Stay with me until I fall asleep."
- Kiss It All Better by He Is We
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A/N: Well? Please do tell me what you think cos I totes love reviews :) They keep me going and encourage me to write more :)
Also, I appologise for posting all the lyrics of 'Kiss It All Beter'. I don't own the song at all, all credits go back to He Is We, an amazing band. I only included the last two lines of the lyrics because I think it now acts like a quote..? I hope it's okay.
I'm so sorry I haven't been updating 'A Twist In Fate' but I will. I have a massive writer's block on that story right now, ugh. Again, don't worry, I'll try my best to continue it.
This is another one shot for 'Clintasha Week' on tumblr :) It's coming to an end soon though! I totes enjoyed creating edits and fics for it :') If you're interested, my url is queenromanovah ;) Yes, I changed my url hahaha :)
Okay, here's a belated merry Christmas and wishing you all a beautiful new year!
P.S. don't forget to review! x