It was a bright and cheery morning in the Xiao Long household with Taiyang away on a mission and Qrow left to watch young Yang and Ruby who were eight and six years old at the time. The two young girls were both seated at the food table in the rustic looking kitchen, both giggling along as they talked to each other while they waited for their Uncle Qrow to make breakfast.
In the hallway just outside the kitchen, Qrow was standing leaning against a wall, frying pan in hand and his trusty flask in the other. He took a quick swig of the life giving drink inside before sneakily tucking it away, sighing as he stared at the frying pan. "Okay, Qrow… You've done worse… It's for the girls…" He spoke to himself in an annoyed tone, still staring down at the frying pan in his hand.
See, to make breakfast, Qrow wanted to try out a new idea. The cupboards were running empty of breakfast food and he couldn't be bothered going to the store. So… This was his only alternative. He was going to make his special, homemade eggs for Ruby and Yang.
Making sure he was out of view from the young girls in the hall, Qrow silently placed the frying pan on the ground beneath him. Standing up over it and taking a deep breath in and out, he slowly undid his belt and slipped down his pants and boxers in one go, leaving them at his ankles with most of his lower half exposed. Qrow cracked his neck and rolled his eyes in annoyance as he shuffled on the spot and slowly got lower, soon squatting directly over the frying pan with his rear end facing the centre of it. Letting off another groan and sigh, Qrow faced the facts and did what had to be done…
Clenching his fists and eyes shut, Qrow began to push hard, the same kind of pushing you would do to take a shit. But what came out wasn't shit… What came out… Was an egg. An oval shaped, white, sticky, hard egg now sitting there in the frying pan after being pushed out of Qrow's anus. But it wasn't over… Qrow continued to push, groaning with a loud "HNNNNNNNNNG!" as egg after egg after egg was pushed out of his gaping asshole, falling into the frying pan mostly unharmed, a few cracking at times.
Zwei was sitting directly in front of Qrow, just staring up at the human's pained face in horror.
After a final twelfth egg fell into the large frying pan, Qrow let out a gasp and sat in the squatting position for a good five minutes, staring down at the eggs and re-thinking his life choices. It hurt but… For the kids.
Finally standing up and pulling his pants and boxers up, letting his gaping asshole shrink, Qrow did up his belt and sighed, picking up the frying pan full of fresh eggs and putting on a smile for the girls.
"Who wants breakfast!?"