Nine Lives to Live: What happens when the ladybug's chaton runs out of lives to live; but Ladybug isn't ready to give him up yet.
AN: For those of you who don't know me, I love my angst. This one was inspired by littleblackchat's comic (Since FF hates links, you can find the link by checking it out on my tumblr: gusenitsaa or by looking on their tumblr under the tag #chat noir dies.) Scared yet? I highly recommend you go and look at it. Bring your tissues. It's terrible and gorgeous. That being said, this story does not follow the plot of the comic, the comic just put me in an angsty mood that led me down this rabbit hole.
This one is going to hurt, if I've done it right. However, since this is my first publication in this fandom and you don't know my style; I'm going to offer you a first time customer special and promise you that no one will die (permanently) in this fic.
Chapter 1: The Fall
The attack had been meant for her, but he'd been faster. He was always faster. At the end of the day, though, she was the only one who could purify the dark magic trapped in the butterfly… so Marinette was forced to forgive him time and time again his self-sacrificial theatrics.
"What have I told you about knight-in-shining-armor routine?" Marinette cried in frustration. He didn't hear her, of course, he'd already toppled out the open window and Marinette caught her breath. Her eyes lingered there a moment longer than they should have but he had given her just long enough to capture the creature. Her magic released it in an instant with a wave of energy and she hurried towards the window the second the butterfly vanished from her sight.
"Aren't cats always supposed to land on their fe-" Her voice caught in her throat when she looked out and saw a dark figure sprawled in the empty street below. It wasn't that high, she tried to reassure herself, sliding down into the street with a grace that Chat apparently hadn't managed.
She knew this game he was playing; get her all worried and then try to kiss her when she bent too close. It was hardly the first time. She squatted next to him, the tiniest flicker of doubt creeping through her facade. Still he didn't speak and one more dot vanished from her earring.
"No more cat naps, Chaton, we're going to change back soon-" she bent and shook his shoulder, muscles tense. Her stomach rose up into her throat and she shook him harder. Finally… finally she felt fear.
She hadn't felt fear in so long, in all their years working together, perhaps she'd never truly felt fear. Why should she? The magic of her miraculous had never failed to right what was wrong eventually. All the damage, every time. Every single time. But her lucky charm was gone now, the akuma purified, and now everything gets fixed. That's the way this works; the way it always works.
Another spot vanished from her earring, and she instinctively glanced at his ring. Four pads. Still. Frozen where it must had been when he jumped in front of that blast.
"Chat, this is not funny… come on, wake up."
She was going to change back at any moment, she could feel it, but the thought of leaving him here, alone in an empty alley made her stomach lurch. So she knelt, pulling him into her lap as a flash of light surrounded her and left her only Marinette.
"Tikki," she whispered, her voice tight. "Tikki, what is happening?"
Her kwami brushed gently against her cheek, wiping away a tear that she hadn't realized had fallen. "I'm so sorry, Marinette."
"No! No, Tikki this isn't... he can't be-" She pulled him closer, her fingers reaching hesitantly for a lock of hair that had fallen across his closed eyes. A numb fog had come over her, making her blind to the man that had just turned into the alley, she heard him crying for help though and Tikki darted to hide inside her jacket, a pinpoint of warmth as Marinette tried to stop her world from spinning.
"Why isn't he..." she stumbled over the words, her fingers dropping from his hair to the high collar of his suit and finally the ring on his finger.
"His kwami is protecting his identity now. Marinette you have to go. Become Ladybug again, get him somewhere safe."
"Safe?" The word came out harsh and bitter and she felt Tikki rub against her stomach under her jacket
"I'm sorry Marinette, but if you don't protect his Miraculous now than who will?" People were starting to gather at the opening of the alley but no one dared come too close.
"I can't leave him-" she whispered but Tikki poked her stomach insistently.
"Just for a moment. Marinette you must hurry, before more people come!"
Gritting her teeth, Marinette slid herself free, laying Chat as gently as she could on the ground before turning in search of the closest building. She was gone no longer than a minute but by the time she returned, people had surged forward, crowding around the body of their fallen hero.
The gathered people turned to her when she arrived back on the scene, no longer a scared civilian but Ladybug. The city's heroine. Strong and invincible and barely holding back tears.
Questions rang out at her from all directions.
"Ladybug, what happened to him?"
"Were you there?"
"Is he going to be ok?"
She heard none of them. She saw only that they were between her and her fallen friend.
"Out of my way," she hissed. Her voice was steely; cold and unrecognizable even to her own ears. And it worked, people scattered. She knelt and lifted Chat with a grunt. It was harder than when she'd lifted him before; to throw him at some enemy, trusting he would figure out what to do when he got there… Now he was limp and it threw off her balance. But her apartment was nearby and for lack of another option she decided to risk taking him there.
She slipped quietly into the window which she always left open for quick entrances in situations like this. Not like this.
She laid Chat down on her couch and collapsed to the floor next to him. Her head sank to rest on his shoulder; too exhausted, both mentally and physically to do anything but let her tears fall onto the cold material of his suit.
"I'm sorry, Chat," she whispered. "You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have..." She let one hand wander, smoothing back the wild blonde hair that had fallen to cover his eyes again. She'd always secretly wondered if he'd purr if she rubbed his ears but she'd never dared find out.
She knew he'd let her, of course. He'd made no secret of his feelings for her, but it wasn't like that for Marinette. Chat Noir was her best friend in all the world, her backup, her partner and someone she knew could always count on... But the secret places of her heart, they had belonged to Adrien since the day he offered her an umbrella in a rainstorm so many years ago now.
Perhaps if she'd told Chat that, told him of the good, sweet boy that she'd fallen for, of the beautiful, kind man he'd grown into... perhaps if she'd told him he would have moved on. Let her go. Maybe if she'd told him that, he wouldn't have jumped in front of her. But she hadn't. And now her best friend was gone and she'd never felt so alone.
Maybe ... maybe it was finally time to tell Adrien the truth. Somehow she couldn't imagine Chat begrudging her the small comfort of familiar arms as she said her goodbye.
"Adrien?" she called. She chided herself for the weak attempt and tried again, louder. "Adrien, are you home?"
There was no response from the empty apartment and she pulled out her phone, hitting redial with shaking fingers. Straight to voicemail, as though it were off or broken... again. No one broke their phone as much as Adrien except... perhaps Marinette, but at least she had an excuse for it. She heard the answering machine pick up and though it was only a recording it calmed her to hear his voice:
"Hey, you've reached Adrien's personal line. Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you. Beep!"
"Hey, Adrien, It's Marinette. I know you said you had a work thing come up but...Something's happened and I need... Adrien, I really need you right now." Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat to cover the sound. "Can you... can you come home when you get this... please?" She let the phone fall to her side, hitting the end button with a shaky sigh.
Marinette's eyes filled with fresh tears as she reached for his hand. So many years. Protecting each other, protecting their secret... it felt wrong to twist the ring off his finger now, but she had to. She couldn't let anyone else find him like this, couldn't let anyone take what he had protected for so long. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest, afraid to look as a familiar light enveloped them both.
When the light faded, she opened her eyes, and she'd never regretted a decision so much as she did in that moment.
"A... Adrien?" There was no doubt now.. How had she never known? His face, as familiar as her own... more familiar than her own now for all the years they'd spent together, and she'd never noticed. With the magic of the miraculous gone it became so obvious she wanted to scream. Her best friend and her love. The same, of course. Of course.
Her words died in her throat and she could do nothing but stare in open horror at the scene before her. A tiny black kwami nuzzled next to Adrien's cheek for a moment or two before finally turning to face her.
"Ladybug... I'm Plagg."
"Plagg? You're … You're Chat's kwami?"
"I am... I was."
"Plagg, please, we can fix this right? The magic, it didn't work right, but we can fix it?"
The kwami didn't answer and his silence crushed the last remnants of hope fluttering in her chest. She climbed up onto the couch and pulled Adrien into her lap as she had Chat when he'd lain in the street. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him tight, her tears dampening his hair faster than she could wipe them away. Her best friend and the love of her life … in one day. In one moment. It isn't fair.
"There's something you should see, Ladybug." Plagg said quietly. "I promised Adrien that I would give it to you if anything..." The kwami didn't finish, vanishing and reappearing with a small white envelope.
One arm still clinging to Adrien she reached out for the letter, recognizing Adrien's neat penmanship instantly.
Marinette,
If Plagg didn't give this letter to you, that means I've left it out like an idiot … or you're digging through my safe. Please, I beg of you Marinette, read no further if that is the case. It's not time.
If you're still reading then that means something has happened to me, and what I have to tell you, you probably already know.
It was not long after we moved in together that I found out. You were hurt, but you insisted that I leave you before we changed back. Do you remember that day?
I know that you wanted to keep this secret, my lady, and I need you to know that it was never my intention to rip your mask away. But you looked so tired after that battle; I couldn't leave without knowing you were all right. I gave you a few minutes but then I came back... as Adrien. When I came back, I found Marinette, my Marinette, unconscious where I had left Ladybug. I carried you back to our apartment and while you slept decided that if it meant so much to you to keep these parts of your life separate, I would let you do so, as long as you needed.
It is difficult sometimes, seeing you through Chat Noir's eyes and being unable to hold you. Seeing you through Adrien's and being unable to tell you everything. Making my own excuses and hearing yours and knowing that we're both lying. I'm still not sure if I'm making the right decision, my lady. If you're reading this then I guess I waited too long.
I want you to know, since I cannot tell you now… that I love you, my Marinette. I love the sweet girl who I gave an umbrella to and the super-heroine who has always been my most-reliable partner. I love the girl who trips over her own feet and the woman who is all grace on the field of battle.
I love you, and I am so sorry. I never meant to leave you.
Adrien
She reread his words over and over until the words blurred with her tears but she could still hear them in her mind as she sat, unable to consider even the slightest movement other than what was needed to press kisses to his hair and his forehead, his cheeks and his lips.
"What happens now?" She wondered aloud, to Plagg perhaps, or herself or the empty room. To her surprise a single butterfly fluttered in through her window.
Papillon.
It's wings were dark and for the briefest moment she wonders if the akuma might take this away, the aching in her heart that seemed to be getting only worse.
Plagg saw the butterfly too and gave a start..
"Ladybug don't, he wouldn't want that!"
The creature landed on her hand and she heard a voice in her head.
"Ladybug. Your grief consumes you, but I can help you."
"I don't need your help-" she whispered.
"What if I told you that I can bring him back?"
"Why would you want to help me? It's your fault he's gone!" she spat.
"I have my reasons," the voice replied. "Do you care about them, so long as Adrien lives?"
She swallowed hard and shook her head.
"There will be a price."
"Let me guess, our Miraculous? So you can kill us both next time."
"Only his, for now. It is the only way to bring him back. Without it I do not have the power to change this."
"Tell me what I have to do."
"Bring it to me."
The butterfly took flight, heading in the direction of the door, before pausing, clearly waiting for her to follow. She loosened her grip on Adrien and stood, lowering his body gently back onto the couch and brushing the hair from his forehead. She placed one final kiss on his forehead before straightening.
"I'm going to save you, Adrien," she whispered. But when she turned Plagg was in her path.
"Ladybug, it's a trap. Or a trick… You can't-"
"So I should just let him die?"
"He's- he's already... He wouldn't want-"
"Is it possible?" she interrupted. "What Papillon says he can do, is it possible? Is it possible to bring him back?"
Plagg hesitated for only a moment before giving a small nod.
"Watch over him Plagg. I'll be back."
Will she succeed in her quest?! Such a good cliffhanger, ruined by my first-customer-special promise. *Sigh* Chapters two and three written and will be posted pending final edit.
Come tell me what you think. You know... once the cursing abates...