When The Burden Is Too Heavy

Leo sat on the ledge of the building overlooking the night covered cityscape, knees pulled close and arms wrapped tightly around his legs. Nothing but the light of a half-moon to illuminate the scene, sparkles of pale white reflecting off the wet tracks streaked down his cheeks in the dry, cool night. He didn't make a sound, save for the occasional sniffle, the sound of which was lost in the constant murmur of the restless city night.

Though he was lost in his thoughts, his years of training to always be aware of his surroundings remained ever-present, so he knew it the moment another presence made its way onto the roof, and that the presence was friend, not foe, and meant him no harm.

He didn't acknowledge the presence in any way, save to cease the flowing of his tears, though he made no effort to wipe away their evidence on his sodden face. Not moving from his spot, he closed his eyes and waited.

"Leo? Sweetie, are you okay?" came April's voice after a moment, sisterly concern ringing in every word.

He wanted to give his overused response of 'I'm fine', but somehow the lie just wouldn't leave his lips. Another moment passed in silence, neither party moving, before Leo finally answered with a shake of his head and a sniffle.

She quietly settled on the roof ledge beside him. "What's wrong?"

"It's hard," he answered, voice thick from crying.

When he didn't continue, April prompted him further. "What is hard?" Though she thought she knew. The life he and his family lead, being the leader of his brothers, having to make all those big decisions, fighting, all that responsibility placed on the shoulders of what was essentially a fifteen year old boy. . .

So when his choked reply of "The world," reached her ears, she was taken aback. Leo rarely over exaggerated, so the fact that his answer was so very all-encompassing struck her like a punch to the gut.

"What do you mean? How so?"

"Sometimes it just feels so heavy, you know?" he whispered, blue eyes focused on the street below and April had the sudden urge to pull Leo away from the edge just in case he was thinking of trying anything. She didn't, though, because this was Leo she was talking to, and Leo wouldn't do something like that. "The world. It gets so heavy sometimes that I just—I don't want to—to have to hold it up anymore. I don't want to have to carry it."

The story of Atlas came to mind as April silently listened to Leo's attempts at explaining, carrying around the weight of the world on his shoulders. She wanted to tell him something clichéd like that he doesn't have to carry that burden alone, but he would already know anything she could ever reply to that. That's why he said it like that, to let her know that he knows.

His voice took on more strength as he continued. "But if I don't carry it, then who will? My brothers shouldn't have to feel that burden." He breathed in deeply, untucking his legs from his chest, letting go from the tight ball he had been in since before April had found him up on this roof. "I carry it for them. Because they need me to."

A silence stretched between them, April still processing Leo's words, eyes fixed on the knees of her jeans, while Leo's gaze wandered over the half-moon, sky starless due to the light pollution of the city around them.

"Speaking of which," Leo started, breaking both the silence and the stillness by standing on the ledge and turning his back to the moon and the street that he had been watching for the last age. April was slightly startled at the sudden change in mood. "I've been gone long enough. I'd better get back to make sure Donnie hasn't blown up his lab again, or that Raph hasn't killed Mikey over his latest prank." A fond smirk twisted his lips at his remark, and April is stunned speechless when, as his eyes alight upon her, he actually smiles his usual easy smile, which suddenly seems anything but to her despite looking the same as always. How many times had he smiled like that when he hadn't really meant it? How often does he just pretend that nothing is wrong, when he felt like the world was crashing down on him? She also noted that he had at some point rubbed away the drying tear tracks on his face, erasing all evidence of his lapse in control save for maybe a few stiff muscles that she knew would surely be stretched out on his journey back to the lair. "You coming?"

"Um. . ." She had to swallow down her own emotions before she could answer. "Yeah. You go ahead. I'll catch up to you in a few minutes."

He nodded at her, same smile still on his face as he turned away and headed for the fire escape; from there into the manhole cover in the alley it lead to.

She watched him leave, thoughts seeming to move slow as molasses as she tried to figure out what had just happened. First off, she had just seen Leo crying, something that Hamato Leonardo rarely ever did, and never while she had been around. Though, she had no evidence of it. And all she had actually seen was the after effects in the form of dampened cheeks and a sniffling nose. She didn't know if it was because he didn't want to upset her, or if he just hadn't quite forgiven her for leaving and this was her punishment; but considering how quick the young leader always was to forgive and forget, she was leaning more towards the former. And secondly, while she was certainly no expert, she was fairly sure that it couldn't be healthy bottling up emotions like that. But if Leo didn't want to talk about it, she couldn't exactly force him to. And if he wanted to just pretend everything was fine, who was she to say otherwise? She could only hope that the burden of the world wouldn't crush him under its weight.

Taking in a deep breath and a last glance at the sky and the city, she made her way back to the lair as well.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, never would I ever be able to live up to its greatness. I do not own.

Author's Notes: Sort of inspired by a conversation between myself and my dear friend Nino, NokaKomi. I started writing this a few weeks ago, and then promptly forgot about it. I finished it up, ODed on metaphors a bit, and took a brief trip through Greek mythology. (Did you know Atlas supposedly held up the entire solar system, basically keeping the planets aligned, not merely lifting Earth as is the common misconception? Go figure.). Sorry if April seems a little off. I, personally, have yet to forgive her for leaving, but I hope that wasn't reflected in this story. Anyways, hope this is enjoyed at least to some extent. Take care all! Love you guys! God bless!

-TheOneThatGotAway99