Lions and Tigers And--What…Housepets?
Summary: A deliciously silly crackfic in which our favorite demon hunting brothers get turned into house pets. To be done in Three Parts.
A/N: This story has not been beta-ed. Just something fun to work on and try to take my mind off of some fics that I am still trying to decide where I want to go with them. Inspired by my kitty, whose name is Dean, just like my favorite Winchester lol.
The witch cackled hitting the brothers Winchester with one of her best curses and turning them into…household pets? Oh dear, this couldn't be right, could it?
They were lucky enough to be discovered by a teenage girl on her way home from afternoon classes who brought them home to rescue them from their horrible predicament of being an abandoned kitten and puppy. She checked them for tags and only found one with their names neatly engraved: Sammy, the puppy, and Dean the kitty.
Strange, she thought, Dean didn't exactly strike her as the name of a cat, especially not one as adorable as this orange and white calico. "Dean, huh?" she questioned, picking him up. "That's not very cat-like is it?"
You have no idea, sister, Dean thought, and tried to say, however he only came up with a long meow like howl.
"Aw, aren't you just adorable. With all that nice pretty fur…hmm, why don't we call you Fluffy."
Dean's eye's widened, at least he hoped to god they did. He wasn't sure, could a cat's eyes widen? He made a note to ask Sam to look it up…when they once again had pose-able thumbs. Fluffy? What was she trying to do to him? He was a guy for god's sake, naming a male cat Fluffy what was wrong with this chick?
"Here you go." She rifled through her backpack and pulled out half of a ham sandwich and giving him the ham.
Dean chowed it down, it was good and he felt unusually hungry.
"Yummy, huh, Fluffy?"
Dean contemplated trying to hiss but forgave her for the horrible indescrepancy as she picked him up and rubbed between his ears, he really, really liked that.
He sighed--well, purred--though he was lax to admit it and was actually okay when she picked up his bag and started to walk away, Sam following and looking pouty. Dean wasn't sure that if dogs could pout, if not, Sammy here was making history.
"Dean, we have got to get out of here and find a way to fix this, to get that witch to make us human again." Sam said.
Dean was eating, Sarah, the girl that had brought them home always left out a nice treat for each of them and Dean had quickly realized that if he ate his early, her little sister would give him another nice treat.
"Dean, are you listening to me?" Sam was annoyed, and it came out as a sharp bark. The witch hadn't even had the decency to turn him into a full size dog and Dean constantly had been teasing him about being a chick dog. A bichon frise, and that damn little girl kept putting him in those damn doll clothes.
"Relax Sam." Dean meowed, turning back to his food.
"Relax?! Dean, we're freaking house pets!" Sam exclaimed.
"You're just jealous that Sarah kicked you off of the bed last night and let me sleep with her." Dean shot back.
Sam growled. "I-oh damn it!" The little girl was coming back doll clothes and the stupid carriage in hand. Before Sam could say anything else she swept him up and dumped him unceremoniously into the carriage.
"C'mon princess, let's go play dress up. You can be the baby and I'll be the mommy."
She surely enough set an open can of cat food in front of Dean just he had speculated that she would.
"Bye princess." Dean laughed, at least tried to, he still couldn't get more than a meow, or the occasional hiss and growl. Dean ate his food and then pranced off to go and find someone to rub his belly and scratch his ears, maybe feed him again…and then maybe settle down for an early mid-morning nap.
Dean was enjoying this life quite well. Cats certainly had the life; they sleep, they eat, they sleep, people like to pet him and make him purr--it was a good life. It also didn't hurt that Sarah was pretty, he made a note to try and hook up with her when he was human. Another plus side of being the cat was that she told him everything--and let him see everything…it was quite the good life.
Sam was pretty sure that all the catnip that Sarah let his brother have was going to Dean's head. They were house pets and his brother saw no problem with this. Sure the pampering and petting and attention was fun but…they couldn't stay animals forever. They had to get back to the witch and Dean had to apologize for whatever he said that made her turn them into animals, and then they had a job to get back to. Sam made a point to keep his brother away from the cat nip and not to let him get near anymore alcohol. The saucer of Heineken had nearly sent Dean in a tailspin. He was drunk for days and still was walking a bit clumsily. Clearly, catlike reflexes did not apply to not real cats. He was much better as a human than as a cat.
"Hey Fluffy," Sam said, with a bark-laugh. "Nice fur."
While sitting in the bathroom with Sarah as she took her bath—Dean couldn't believe the amazing privileges he got as a cat—Dean had fallen into the bath water and now looked like a giant orange cotton ball now that his fur had been fluffed and dried.
"Bite me." Dean muttered, walking away to get a belly rub.
"Don't push me." Sam warned. Dean's constant ignoring of the fact they'd been house pets for over a week was starting to make him angry. They couldn't stay like this forever, no matter how enjoyable Dean may find it.
Dean could not believe he was being made fun of by a four legged creature that couldn't even climb the stairs without someone taking pity on the short legged puffy haired princess and carrying him up there. It wasn't his fault that cats couldn't hold their liquor like he could…Sam was such a goody two shoes.
"No Dean don't do this….no dean don't do that….no, Dean, we have to leave!" Dean sniffed, he was having fun. Lounging around was most certainly superior than spending his days hunting the supernatural. No one rubbed his belly! He was not gonna be giving that up anytime soon. He liked having people live to please him and make him purr!
So I hoped you liked it! Reviews are greatly appreciated. And is it just me or does Dean really strike you as somewhat catlike? Pleasure, food, sleep? Definitly sounds like my cat. lol. and if anyone is waiting on updates of any of my supernatural fics, don;t worry, I know its been awhile but updates are in the works. Thanks for reading! Part 2 will be concentrating on the dog days of princess a.k.a. sammy.