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She was going to turn around to tell him about the horrible dream, the dream where she had ruined it all...but when she turned around he wasn't there, he never was, not anymore. The dream was real and it was all her fault. She wonder why she even bother to see if her was there anymore, he was never there and he wouldn't ever again. Nothing could change it, it was her own stupid choice. She was the one that told him to leave, even though she new she would go crazy without him. She was getting to attached, to...what was the word too... human.

She had let him know her deepest secrets and her deepest fears. But as if that wasn't enough, he was there everyday sharing everything in her life. She knew that he knew her better then she knew herself, and that scared her even more. But that was all over now, he wouldn't ever wake her up in the morning to serve her breakfast in bed, or to tickle her merciless. Her wouldn't ever wake her up just because he wanted to tell her how much he had missed her while he slept or how beautiful she was. And she wouldn't ever tell him how silly it was to miss someone while you slept, or that she wanted her coffee with two spoons of sugar, not three. Never again would she tell him these thing, because she was too darn stubborn, as he said, too stubborn to see that she was actually missing her chance of happiness.

She considered getting up, knowing that she wouldn't get anymore sleep that night. But she stayed, closing her eyes imaging him beside her, his hot breath on her shoulder, his warm body and amazing muscles. She could almost feel it, almost. But the real him was so much better, so so much better.

It had only been a week, and she was already losing it. Not being able to sleep problem was damaging her work, Angela was already upset with her for not wanting to have a girls night out. Cam was getting more and more pissed by her zombie like state. Hogins was muttering about conspiracy theories and Zack had decided to stay as far as possible from his mentor. And it was all because of him, or well actually it was all her fault. But it was easier to try to blame it on him. Besides they were to different, he wanted to marry, she was against all form of marriage, he wanted kids, she didn't. Or she use to not want the. It was clear that they didn't fit, anyone could tell. At least if they didn't know the truth, the truth was that he had asked her to marry him, and she had said yes just because she knew it was important. She could marry him, it didn't matter she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, and if he need to have a paper and a ring to prove it, she was sure as hell gonna give him that...but now everything was wrong.

Her life was falling a part, first Booth and because of him she was surely going to get fired if she kept her bad behavior up, and by leaving the lab "all" of her friends was going to disappear, and then all the thing she had worked for would be gone. A sudden flash of lighting made her cry out in fear, she could her the thunder roll and the rain start to pour. She pulled the blankets closer, as she felt hot tears start to roll down her cheeks. And it wasn't just because of the storm that was now raging out side (even though thunder storms scared her), but because she was effectively ruining her life. She lay there shaking both with fear and sadness. All she wished was that he would come home and hold her, make the flashing light and frightfully loud noise disappeared. He would forgive her for the mistake that she had made a by breaking things of with him...but he didn't come to her rescue, and at that moment Temperance Brennan felt truly and completely alone.

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Had an hour to spear (well not really) and decided to write something, named the fic after Emilia's Big Big girl. Because i was listening to it as I wrote. Considering continuing it (making a "real" story about this) but for that to happen I need some good reviews (blink blink)