Hello people! This came to me a while back and I have been writing on it ever since. I just wanted to bring out the first chapter and see what you think of it please tell me in a review! Remember: The more reviews I get the sooner I'll update.

ATTENTION!

WARNINGS: This is SLASH, so don't like, don't read, and there is VERY descriptive rape in this chapter, also it contains cutting and other angst stuff not sure yet how much though. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! If you are easily offended and have a rather weak stomach I strongly recommend you to not read.

People who have read the fucking warnings and still flame me: You got to be really stupid. I have written the warnings for you. Not for me. And you should have read them before you started this story since they are included in the summary. And still flaming me and being cowardly about aka not tell me in a signed review is just that: Cowardly!

In case I haven't scared you off yet: Enjoy the story!

BTW. This goes to Zaodin: Next time you want to critic me- tell me in a signed review. It's not my fault you can't read the damn warnings in the summary...

A/N: the flashback is from the 5th book. I do not own Harry Potter, which is proven by Draco and Harry not being together.

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Flashback

It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall. His body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch…

And Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once- handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind and then fell back into place.

He heard Bellatrix Lestrang' triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing. Sirius had just fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second…

But Sirius did not reappear.

"SIRIUS!" he yelled, "SIRUS!"

He would pull him back out again. But as he reached the ground and sprinted towards the dais, Lupin grabbed Harry around the chest, holding him back.

"There's nothing you can do Harry-"

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"

"It's too late, Harry-"

"We can still reach him-"

Harry struggled hard and viciously, but Lupin would not let go…

"There's nothing you can do, Harry… nothing… He's gone."

End Flashback

Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, was sitting on a chair at his bedroom window. He had cried so much he shouldn't have had any tears left and yet here he was with tears in his eyes, threatening to spill. It was his fault that Sirius had died. His. If he hadn't acted so rash about his vision, Sirius would still be alive.

Suddenly the door burst open and the stench of alcohol filled Harry's nostrils.

There was only one reason Vernon would get drunk so badly. A deal that he needed for the firm had probably gone awry.

"Boy! Come here!" Vernon bellowed.

Slowly, Harry stood up, almost as if in trance. With each step he took towards his uncle, Harry's brain screamed at him to turn and run. But he didn't.

A punch to the stomach made Harry keel over in pain. A vicious kick in his guts made Harry see stars and had the inky blackness of unconsciousness creeping up at the sides of his eyes.

Harry pulled his knees up to his chest in pain. Another kick, this time in his back, made him arch and blood dribbled from his mouth. Vernon grabbed Harry at his collar and pulled him up only to let the boy receive a right hook to his jaw. There was a sickening crack and Harry was on the floor again.

Vernon's purple face suddenly lit up. He dragged his nephew in front of him, Harry had his eyes closed but heard the faint rustle of fabric.

Fear spread through his body and shivers went whizzing up and down Harry's spine and not in a good way. Vernon grabbed Harry's chin and forced his mouth to open. With one swift movement Vernon's large erection was down Harry's throat.

Green eyes filled with tears. The teen tried to swallow, breath, anything. It wasn't possible. Harry reverted to breathing shallowly through his nose. His jaw, which was broken, just wanted to snap shut. Then an idea hit him, which must have shown on his face, according to Vernon's next words.

"Don't even think of biting. I'll kill you if you do. Now, suck." The large man ordered.

Tears were running down Harry's cheeks freely when he started giving his uncle the desired blow job. It didn't take long and Vernon was thrusting into his nephew's mouth ruthlessly. The boy had to force himself not to bite down hard instead he coughed and choked in an attempt to breath. Vernon only thrust harder into the teen in front of him.

Finally, Vernon came, spilling his semen into Harry.

"Swallow it. Swallow it all."

Obediently, Harry swallowed. When Harry finished, Vernon pulled himself out, pulled up his pants, and left with the words, "Tell anybody and even you'll have no idea what happened to you."

After his uncle had left, Harry lay on the floor not being able to move his muscle. Blood and cum dribbled from his mouth. The metallic taste of blood and the salty one from cum had Harry vomiting into the nearby trashcan seconds later. Funny, and there he had though he couldn't move anymore. With the last energy resorts he had left , he hieved himself up onto his bed and fell asleep, tears once again leaving salty trails on his face.

One week later

Petunia and Dudley were out again. After the last mandatory school doctor's visit Dudley had been told he had to loose at least 100kg. Petunia had decided to go to Weight Watchers with him, since then he would eat properly and loose weight. It satisfied everybody except Harry, because that meant that his uncle and he would be home alone.

Harry was on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Sirius and how much life sucked, when the door opened with a small creaking sound. Fear spread through the teen's body and he closed his eyes. Footsteps, not quite damped by the carpet, signaled that Vernon was coming closer. He felt himself being rolled on his stomach. Here it went again. Keep your eyes shut, Harry told himself again and again until it became sort of a mantra.

He had heard the distant ruffle of clothing being removed and then felt a hand on his still clothed waist. It snaked its way under Harry and to the belt and undid it. Slowly it opened the button and slid the zipper down. A quick and fluid move, that suggested it had been done countless times, had Harry's pants around his knees.

Hands covered in sweat planted themselves on Harry's waist pulling him up on all fours. The teen jerked forward, when he felt the not so light prodding of his uncle's erection against his butt cheeks.

Vernon shoved himself into Harry ruthlessly, once he had found the entrance.

Harry didn't even scream anymore. At the beginning he had struggled, but it had always ended with Vernon slapping him so hard he almost fell unconscious, so Harry Had gone to closing his eyes and waiting through it, pretending it wasn't him.

Recklessly, Vernon slammed into his nephew. Panting like a rhinoceros, his uncle quickly came and pulled out of Harry, leaving the boy in his own blood and Vernon's semen once again. Harry listened until he heard the abnormally loud snoring of his uncle, and once he did he started to move.

Slowly, whimpering only a little, he made his way over to the loose floorboard. Normally there would be some things of his friends in the little hollow. Now, all it contained was a gleaming knife. A beautiful, cold, gleaming knife. It was one of Petunia's kitchen knifes she rarely used. This simple utensil would help him cleanse himself of his sins.

Harry took it out almost greedily. He sat back down on his bed. When have I stooped so low as to cut myself? He didn't even remember and it had only been a couple of days ago. It didn't matter anyways. It was there to wash his sins from him and give him back the feeling of having some sort of life and not just existing.

He rolled up his sleeves. Scars criss-crossed his arms. From his wrists up to his shoulders. Most of them were still covered by the sweater. They were quite a lot scars for a youth, who had only been cutting for about a week give or take a day or two… Almost all scars hadn't healed yet and Harry wanted to mark new area, which left the shoulders as his momentary possibility.

The teen pulled his sweater over his head and looked at himself. Taking the knife again, he let it graze over his shoulder experimentally. He moved the tip of the blade down his arm, breathing in deeply when it came across a not yet healed cut. Coming to a decision, Harry grasped the handle of the knife tightly and set the blade to his kin at his shoulder. A little pressure was all it took and the knife sunk into his soft skin. A thin line of blood was becoming visible. Soon droplets of blood were falling from the cut onto the floor. Harry stared in awe at the red liquid oozing from the cut.

Life. Pain. Yes, pain was what he deserved for letting himself becoming Vernon's little fuck toy. And for stooping so low to actually cutting himself because of it. But then again it felt so good. Letting pain course through his body. Not having to think. He added a few more cuts each one deeper then the one before that. He didn't know how long he had stared at the new cuts but the blood had started to dry.

Harry got up and circled his shoulder experimentally. It stung but that was to be expected. Besides, it was a pleasant reminder. The raven haired teen went over to the loose floorboard to put away the knife and grab the once so soft now stiff with hardened blood cloth that he had put in there as well.

Quickly, Harry snuck into the bathroom to wash himself. He held the cloth under the running water and let it soak. Then he started dabbing at the fresh cuts as to clean the blood away. He breathed rather harsh a couple of times because of unexpected pain. Harry went to clean his bloody thighs, legs and his tender butt. This time at least Vernon hadn't gotten any blood or semen onto Harry's clothes like the last time. Man his excuses to Petunia had been quite wild. But what he exactly had said, he didn't remember. Something about falling on the street? Yeah right. But he couldn't have told her that her husband was fucking him senseless every other night. That she would have believed even less.

A few minutes later found Harry once again on his bed staring at his ceiling, slowly falling asleep. That is until a sudden pain in his back had Harry wide awake in seconds. He arched his back to get away from the unbearable pain. The teen panted heavily. He desperately wanted to scream but somehow couldn't. He closed his eyes to shut off the pain. Hot searing pain coursed through his entire body and knocked the air out of him. A hammering headache was spreading from his forehead. His whole body was on fire. Why couldn't he scream, damn it?!

Vaguely, Harry heard a crack but he couldn't have done anything about it anyway. He was busy writhing in pain on his bed. It really had been a great day and this just topped it all off. Suddenly, strong arms encased his lithe but muscular form. Harry felt safe for the moment and, thankfully, fell into black oblivion.

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Slowly, Harry opened his eyes. The room blurred for a few moments before coming into clear view. He must have slept with his glasses on. The green eyed teen felt safe and warm. Someone was holding him. Harry snuggled deeper into the warmth. And winced slightly. His fingers curled into the fabric even deeper than they were already doing. He looked at the soft cloth he was holding on to and noticed they were black robes, meaning it was either a witch or a wizard's arms encircling him.

As Harry became more and more aware of his surroundings, he stood in a flash. What was he thinking? There was somebody in his room and he only snuggled closer to this person?! I'm such a freak! He was caught by someone when he stumbled out of his bed.

Harry blinked owlishly and then looked at the stranger. Harry Potter found himself staring at Hogwarts Potions Master number one. Severus Snape.